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- Herausgeber: Macro Edizioni
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Sprache: Englisch
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2025
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RED MOONMOTHER AND DAUGHTER
Living with amenstrual teenagerin anxious times
MIRANDA GRAY
Red MoonMOTHER AND DAUGHTER
Living with amenstrual teenagerin anxious times
Cesena • Paris • Montréal • Barcelona • MadridSantiago de Chile • Ciudad de México
www.gruppomacro.com
The Macro Publishing Group relies on a wide variety of sources – texts, research and personal experiences – to ground what is written in the books it sends out to the world. The human being is an ‘entity’ endowed of extraordinary, often improbable characteristics, as countless as the variety of nature and the universe whose we are part of.
The enormous amount of scientific, health, psychological, dietary and nutritional information provided in our books does not imply any responsibility on the part of the publisher for its effectiveness and safety in its use by readers.
Each individual is required to assess and follow, using common sense and wisdom, the most appropriate experiential, psychological, healing and nutritional path.
Everyone must take responsibility for gathering all the necessary information, comparing the risks and benefits of different therapies and diet plans available.
DISCLAIMER
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by photocopying or any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage or retrieval systems, without permission in writing from both the copyright owner and the publisher of the book.
The right of Author’s name to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 and any subsequent amendments thereto.
For further information about the author and the book series, please visit our website:
www.gruppomacro.com
All rights reserved
Any reproduction, even partial and by any means, must be authorised in advance by the publisher.
Editing: Alessandra Gobbi
Revised by: Alessandra Gobbi
Graphic co-ordination and cover: Roberto Monti
Layout: Gloria Riceputi
Printing: Tipografia Lineagrafica, Città di Castello (PG)
Book Series: Being Happy,
ISBN: 9788828511830
• English edition: June 2024
© 2024 Macro
a trademark by Macro Group Publishing S.r.l.
Via Giardino 30, 47522 Cesena (FC)
MACROAND THE ENVIRONMENT
The Macro Group maintains and develops its attention towards the environment and does so in increasingly concrete, consistent and sustainable ways. We print our books, DVDs, magazines, catalogues and brochures in Italy on recyclable paper, using environmentally friendly inks. By purchasing one of our products you will contribute to support the Self-Sufficient Farm project (www.autosufficienza.it), a food and energy self-sufficient island which aims to raise awareness among institutions, businesses and communities in order to make sustainable life on our planet.
Thanks to its commitment to an ever less environmental impact, the Macro Group is recognised by Greenpeace as a forest-friendly publisher.
To Joanna and Amara
CONTENTS
About the approach of this book
Chapter 1. Why you need the information in this book
Chapter 2. The ultimate key to a happy cyclic daughter and a happy you!
Chapter 3. Help! who is with me right now?
Chapter 4. Take positive action: your quick essential guide
Chapter 5. Harmonious communication
Chapter 6. Stress and the cycle – and the current world is stressful!
Chapter 7. Advanced information
Chapter 8. And finally…
Appendix
About the approach of this book
Caregivers
There are many types of caregivers, and it would be impersonal and a little irritating for the reader if the book listed each type every time a caregiver is mentioned. So, the term ‘Mother’ has been used – but this does not imply that you need to be a biological mother, it simply means that you are in the role of a carer and nurturer for a teenage girl, and that there is a personal emotional bond. This also means that ‘Fathers’ who are looking after teenage girls may benefit from the information in this book.
Teenagers
Although the title says ‘teenager’, many girls are starting menstruation much earlier than their teenage years – so the book uses the term ‘Daughter’. This does not mean that the girl involved is your biological daughter, but someone who is under your care and guidance.
This book is a guide for Mothers with Daughters of all ages as their Daughters journey into womanhood.
Caregivers with a cycle
This book takes into account Mothers who have a menstrual cycle, and it guides them through their own cycle in relationship to their Daughter’s. However, if a Mother no longer experiences a menstrual cycle of their own for any reason, this book can also help them to create a more understanding and empathic relationship with their Daughter’s cycle.
A book of ideas, activities and concepts
This is a book of ideas, activities and concepts – it is an enabler – and every Mother and Daughter will be unique in their cycle experiences and in their relationship. So, take this information and ‘run’ with it. Weave the information together to create your own unique cycle. Explore, and adapt what doesn’t seem to work, or create your own unique action and approach. And then perhaps share the ideas with another Mother so that she can try it with her Daughter to build greater harmony and understanding.
Chapter 1
Why You Need the Information in this Book
It can be hard enough living with a teenager with a menstrual cycle under normal circumstances, but with world-wide insecurity, financial meltdowns, global pandemics, pending environmental catastrophe, civil unrest, increasing international isolation, and rapidly changing technology, social relations, and regulations, things can be even more challenging for both Mother and Daughter to understand each other and to meet each other’s needs. With two menstrual cycles living under the same roof, it’s not surprising that emotions run high, and that there is misinterpretation and misunderstanding. Living together in close proximity, small misunderstandings have the potential to become major disputes that affect the wellbeing of the whole family.
Many Mothers feel the need for a guide to understand the menstrual cycle of their teenage Daughters, and in that understanding to also recognise how their own cycle affects them and impacts on their Daughter. This process is not a science – there is no instruction manual for you as a Cyclic Woman or for your Daughter, instead you need to view things in the light of caring and loving exploration and discovery. If you can understand how your Daughter is feeling then you can change your approach to be more empathic and more flexible, which will not only create more positive responses from her but also allow you to meet your needs as well as hers without confrontation.
This book will help you to navigate the challenges and build a closer and more harmonious relationship and living environment.
Understand your own cycle and your teenager’s cycle better.
Make things easier for both you and her.
Know when and what to do, and what not to do.
Create a flexible and adaptive cyclic relationship.
The outcome is a simple and heartfelt desire: To manage the complexities of the menstrual cycle in the modern environment with your teenager in the most harmonious way possible, meeting her needs as well as your own.
If you see your current situation as an opportunity to explore who you are and to observe your Daughter as she expresses herself in the world then you can deepen your relationship with your Daughter, with her cyclic femininity, and with your own cyclic nature. Then you can both approach the personal and global challenges in harmony and step out into the world feeling strong and empowered and with a better understanding of who you are and what you can do together.
Should I tell my daughter I am reading this book??
This depends on your current relationship with your Daughter, which phase of your cycle you are in, and which phase of her cycle she is in! Perhaps read the book yourself first to help you to discover the information contained here, and then you can not only decide if it is the right time to share it with her but also know the best way to present the insights you have gained in a way that avoids her feeling criticised or judged, or that violates her need to be alone and to shut out the world.
This book suggests throughout that you explore this information together with your Daughter and that you share experiences – and whether you do this, and how you do this, will be individual to both you and her.
The relationship between menstrual Mother and men-strual Daughter is a dance of energies. Sometimes the dancers share the same tempo and steps, and at other times they are very different. But there is always a merging of energies, and within the weaving of melodies there is a rhythm that is the same. And within this rhythm is an echo that resonates in the heart, mind and womb of the Mother – of knowing how she feels when she also experiences the same music in the same phase of her cycle.
Within the Mother, deep in her womb and body memory, is the celebration of years of cycles, of changing energies expressed and danced and creatively woven together into a life experience. This is the key to dancing with your Daughter’s cycle, whether you are in alignment in your cycles or whether the timing of your phases is very different. The joy is to share this womb wisdom with your Daughter – but maybe small steps are needed, maybe you need to be more secure in the understanding of your own cyclic nature before you can understand hers. Maybe you need to read this book first and put into practice what you learn, so that you can then read it again together and discover more secrets and pleasure in both of your cycles.
The approach of the gardener
You can think of the role of a Mother as being like that of a gardener. Imagine a rose garden full of beautiful rosebushes, bursting with flowers. Some flowers are white, some are a rich red or a magenta pink. There are also vibrant orange and golden roses, and small pale pink buds. Each rosebush represents a woman’s femininity.
In the garden there is a small clearing in which lies a smaller bush. Your Daughter’s cyclic femininity is like a rosebush; as she moves through adolescence she is growing deeper roots into the earth, and her branches reach higher towards the sun. But as the rose develops it needs to grow in harmony with the seasons – otherwise the growth is stressed.
You don’t force a rosebush to flower in the winter, because if you do there are no bees to fertilise the flowers to create fruits for the future. As a gardener you work alongside the seasons, helping the bush to grow healthy leaves in the spring, strong thorns to protect itself, and bright and beautiful flowers in the summer that fill the air with perfume. You sweep away the old leaves as they fall in the autumn, cut away the old stems that have died, and let the rosebush sleep warm and safe in the snows of winter.
As a gardener you are there to hold a safe space for the rosebush to grow. Perhaps you add a stake to help support it through the storms, perhaps you gently encourage growth in a particular direction, but you don’t force it to grow outside of the seasons. The rosebush needs to be free to express the seasons of the Earth through the beauty of its unique self. As a gardener you need patience and time, you need to allow things to flow in their own way without forcing them, and you need to look forward to the green buds of new life, even in the cold darkness of winter.
Perhaps, when you were young and having your first cycles, you did not have a gardener to support you as you explored the seasons of your phases and learned the gifts of beauty, power and creativity that lie in those seasons. Perhaps you have struggled to find your own rhythm in the busy and demanding modern world. There are two rosebushes in this garden – there is your Daughter’s, and there is your own.
The approach you bring to the current challenges will change depending on which phase of your own cycle you are currently experiencing. But if you decide to approach the rapidly changing social and global environments with a spirit of curiosity and adventure, of love and caring, of creative freedom, of intuition and inner knowing, then the highs and the lows can bring you and your Daughter closer together in understanding and in love, showing you the profound gifts that lie within you both. Something incredibly good can come out of this challenging and demanding situation. And even if the change you see is very small and you know that it will take time for it to grow, there is always hope and wonder in the first buds of spring.
You can’t control your relationship with your teenager; there are no rules or perfect solutions, but there are guidelines based on the experiences many women have of their own cyclic nature. And the simplest approach is to:
Try something.
Observe
the outcome – ‘good’, ‘neutral’, or ‘could be better’.
Accept
that sometimes you are going to get it wrong – this is not failure, just the wrong approach for a particular phase.
Change and adapt
and try again.
If it works, remember to do it next time.
To flow with your cyclic Daughter, the approach needs to be one of win-win – to meet her cyclic needs as well as your own. Instead of clashing with each other or imposing your current view on her, remember that this needs to be an approach where you find a way to balance and flow alongside each other to the music. Then you will not need to force her to do anything – instead, she will do things for you because she feels happy and fulfilled doing them
she will feel more open and loving because you are validating her and helping to meet her needs
she will say ‘yes’ more often because you are asking in the right way at the right time.
AND you will look ‘good’ and be able to get things right for a change! Her needs will be met, and your needs will be met.
The basics every woman should know
Imagine that in front of you stand four women:
One is young, pretty, intelligent, logical, a risk-taker, independent, wanting to see the world; she needs to grow and to achieve success.
One is slightly older, a caring mother, more emotional, social, nurturing and patient with a practical creativity.
One is middle-aged, beautiful with a mature style, she is experienced, uninhibited, direct, intuitive, unpredictable, creative and a challenge.
One is old and slow, beautiful in herself, spiritual, accepting, wise, intuitive and meditative.
Now imagine that these women shapeshift, and that they all look like you.
Now imagine that four girls – young women – stand in front of you.
One girl is dynamic and intelligent. She has spring flowers in her hair and wears a short tunic. She is keen to become independent, to explore her abilities and limits, to take on the world to grow and to achieve great things.
One girl is softer and gentler. She has summer flowers in a garland around her neck, and she carries a young animal in her arms. She is caring, empathic, keen to look after others and to create a better world through her practical creative energies.
One girl wears black clothes and Goth makeup. Autumn leaves swirl around her, and she is wild and unpredictable. She is a poet, an artist, driven by highs and lows of physical and emotional energy, and creativity.
One girl sits rather than stands with the others. She wraps a dark blanket decorated with winter snow flakes around her, like a protective cloak. She is quiet and withdrawn, slow to respond and rests in a dreamy state of mind.
Now imagine that these four girls shapeshift, and they all look like your Daughter.
Within your relationship are not two women – one young and one adult – but instead there are at least eight! Mothers get things wrong when they think that they are one woman – and that their Daughter is just one young woman!
What you have not been told
Most women have been raised to think that they are just one woman – linear, with a single and continuous set of abilities and physical energies. But in fact, they are cyclic, embodying at least four different women – each with their own energies, dominant way of thinking, abilities and skills, communication approach, and sexual and creative energies. It is no wonder that everyone gets confused!
Your Daughter is not just one girl who is the same all the time – she is four young women expressing themselves through her cyclic nature.
If you understand how you and your Daughter experience the changes of the menstrual cycle, then you can identify which of the four women you are currently expressing and which of the four girls your Daughter is expressing. This becomes the basis on which you can build a more harmonious interactive relationship and more positive and enthusiastic communication, and it also creates the mutual understanding on which to survive living together!
Warning:
Remember this is not an instruction manual on your Daughter’s menstrual cycle. Everyone is individual in their experiences of the phases of their cycles, but there are many things which women have in common. This is a book of concepts, ideas and actions for you to explore. There is no ‘one size fits all’ – not for you or for your Daughter!
Being a menstrual woman is a path of amazing joy and opportunity, of creative, spiritual and sexual energies. It is a path that changes as you experience different things in life, so no single cycle is the same, no phase is exactly the same as the previous month because each month you are experiencing the phase in a new and different situation. You are walking a spiralling path full of the excitement of growth and new experiences.
Your Daughter is also walking this path, and she will experience things that are similar between the months, and things that are different. But in each situation, she will interact with the world from whichever of the four young women she is currently expressing. Her world is changing fast as she is growing into adulthood, so she will be experiencing many changes in her life and more new situations in which to express her different energies. And in this time of world change, it is almost as if adults are stepping back into a teenage world, because things are happening so fast that they too are experiencing a different environment from one month to the next, even one phase to the next. Perhaps this challenging world situation can help us to understand a little better the sometimes-overwhelming experiences and insecurity that major changes can cause in teenage girls.
