Seven Secrets of Worry-Free Living E-Book

Michael Ross

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

Worry and its fraternal twins anxiety and stress affect our mind, body, and spirit—and can make us miserable. In these practical pages, Dr. Arnie Cole and Michael Ross—with contributions from leading researcher Pamela Ovwigho, PhD—help readers to identify the root cause and provide easy-to-follow plans to find relief. This insightful and easy-to-read resource includes Bible-based wisdom, advice, and treatment options from psychological and medical professionals. Our bodies are not designed for a continual state of fear, worry, and anxiety, but instead for continual tranquility with short bursts of adrenaline. Seven Secrets of Worry-free Living shows how anyone can break the cycle of unnecessary suffering and find peace.

Leseprobe

Endorsements for7 Secrets of Worry-Free Living

“Back to the Bible has conducted extensive research, which has been thoroughly incorporated into these pages. I love how Worry-Free Living engages me with such relevant facts, but what I really appreciate is that Arnie and Michael have developed a tool that can assist us all in our dialogue with one another. The ‘Recap and Reflect’ feature helps me to hear from God through others—and that may be the most important thing of all.”

—Brian Doyle

President, Iron Sharpens Iron National Men’s Equipping Conferenceswww.ironsharpensiron.net

“Great advice for every worrier in your life—from an anxious child to a stressed-out spouse. The authors guide readers toward a clear understanding of worry and anxiety, and they offer hands-on strategies for relief. Explore Worry-Free Living on your own or with a group and learn how to nurture a calmer, Christ-centered home front.”

—Dr. Trina Young Greer

Licensed Clinical Psychologist,Founder and Executive Director of Genesis Counseling Centerwww.genesiscounselingcenter.com

“In Worry-Free Living, Arnie and Michael give you the practical tools and common-sense strategies that can help break the grip of unproductive worry, anxiety, and stress in your life. Like personal trainers, they use biblical principles, stories, and research findings to give you effective tools to live in peace and freedom through the healing power of Jesus Christ. More than another ‘self-help’ book, Worry-Free Living is a developmental spiritual fitness plan for individuals or small groups who are seeking to live more effectively for Christ and His Kingdom.”

—Dr. Rick Ryding

Pastor and Professor Emeritus (Mount Vernon, Ohio)

“God is not just interested in our souls; He wraps his salvation around the whole person. This is why the mind, body, spirit approach to handling worry is essential for wholeness and healing. Worry-Free Living is a biblically grounded book that provides helpful, practical tools for families. And the couple and group discussion worksheets, paired with the Bible studies, make this a valuable resource for churches.”

—Rev. Connie Larson DeVaughn

Co-Pastor, Altadena Baptist Churchwww.altadenabaptist.org

“We wholeheartedly recommend Worry-Free Living for every family and church leader. Page after page is grounded in Scripture and filled with thought-provoking questions, making this a useful resource for group study. Worry-Free Living is outstanding, excellent in truth, very well written, and highly practical.”

— Dr. Steve and Megan Scheibner

Founders of CharacterHealth, Creators of the YouTube video“In My Seat: A Pilot’s Story” www.CharacterHealth.com

Published by BroadStreet Publishing, LLC

Racine, Wisconsin, USA

www.broadstreetpublishing.com

SEVEN SECRETS OF WORRY-FREE LIVING

FINDING FREEDOM FROM FEAR, ANXIETY, AND STRESS

© 2015 by Dr. Arnie Cole & Michael Ross

ISBN: 978-1-4245-5063-0 (hard cover)

ISBN: 978-1-4245-5064-7 (e-book)

Content for this book was revised by Michael Ross from

Worry-Free Living by Dr. Arnie Cole & Michael Ross

Licensed from Authentic Publishers

188 Front Street, Suite 116-44

Franklin, TN 37064

Authentic Publishers is a division of Authentic Media, Inc.

Copyright information for the Scripture translations used in this book can be found after of the Endnotes at the back of this book.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Cover design by Chris Garborg at www.garborgdesign.com

Interior design and typesetting by Katherine Lloyd at www.theDESKonline.com

Printed in China

15 16 17 18 19 20   7 6 5 4 3 2 1

CONTENTS

Starting Point

When Worry Hits Home

Chapter One

The Secret of Wisdom

Chapter Two

The Secret of Self-Awareness

Chapter Three

The Secret of Right Thinking (Calming Our Mind)

Chapter Four

The Secret of Healthy Living (De-Stressing Our Body)

Chapter Five

The Secret of Christ-Centered Growth (Transforming Our Spirit)

Chapter Six

The Secret of Balance

Chapter Seven

The Secret of Surrender

Endnotes

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Starting Point

WHEN WORRY HITS HOME

It’s a boisterous, kid-centric weekend in the Meyer household, and thirty-nine-year-old Marci wouldn’t have it any other way. While other moms would give anything for a bit of quiet—an hour at the spa would be heaven, right?—she savors the noise.

The squeals and giggles of her three children are music to her ears, a reminder of what’s most important: her family’s well-being.

Life itself.

The young Florida mom shudders as she thinks back over the past six months: the fear, the worry, the stress … all the what-ifs that have incessantly plagued her and her husband’s thoughts. It’s the possibility of losing what’s so precious to them.

From across the family room, Marci watches eight-year-old Andrew, her middle child, sprawled on the floor, lost in a world of play. She can’t take her eyes off of him.

Andrew meticulously snaps Legos into place as he carefully inspects his creation. “Here’s the command center,” he tells a playmate. “And these lasers blast enemy destroyers.”

“That’s so cool,” his buddy says as he skillfully lands a ship behind Lego walls. “The good guys can hide their cruisers around the arena.”

A mishmash of white, red, and yellow bricks rise into an eclectic fortress—complete with medieval towers, battlements, and working catapults. On the other side of the wall are futuristic spaceships and what looks like a giant stadium. Is it an interplanetary outpost? An academy for brave cadets with a Hunger Games twist?

“Time for the Beyblade battle!” shouts another friend.

Andrew’s eyes light up. “Let it rip!” he shouts, in the words of his favorite game.

The kids scramble to claim the coolest spin-top toys: brightly colored discs with names like “Guardian Leviathan,” “Pirate Orochi,” and “Ninja Salamander.” Seconds later they pull plastic rip cords and launch their Beyblades into the makeshift arena.

Soon they’re immersed in an imaginary world of adventurous and courageous warriors, fighting for justice against evil dystopian kingdoms in far-off galaxies.

Marci smiles at all the commotion.

Just how it should be, she thinks. Kids lost in play. Not how it’s been lately. Day after day after day full of stress and anxiety, with challenges no child should face.

She quietly watches Andrew interacting, savoring his expressions, making mental audio files of his laughter and snapshots of the joy that always seems to radiate from his precious face.

With the exception of his shiny bald head, nobody would think the boy had a care in the world. No one would suspect he’s ill.

Terribly ill.

A real-life war is being waged within the Meyer home. Andrew is battling a mostly invisible monster—a growth of abnormal cells in his body that threatens his young life.

I wonder if he gets it, Marci thinks. I wonder how much he understands what’s going on. Maybe it’s okay if he doesn’t. Maybe it’s okay if I do all his worrying for him.

A few months earlier, Andrew was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma—a cancer that affects the lymphatic network, part of the circulatory system. The lymph nodes or glands are positioned all around the body, and one of their main responsibilities is fighting infections.

The trouble all started in August 2012.

Marci and her husband, Jeff, had noticed that Andrew was suddenly talking differently—much as if he’d developed a slight speech impediment or maybe had just returned from a trip to the orthodontist. The concerned mom examined his tongue. “Nothing strange here,” she said. Then she squinted and ran a fingernail over a tooth. “That is—nothing a toothbrush and a good cleaning can’t fix!”

Andrew laughed.

The boy had no past health issues and rarely got sick. And, at that moment, he wasn’t complaining of, for instance, a painful tongue or a sore throat. But a few weeks later—on September 19, to be exact—his condition began to worsen.

“It hurts a little,” he told his parents, “like when I eat or swallow.”

Marci put her hand on his forehead. “You don’t feel hot, but if your throat hurts it’s possible you caught a bug, maybe strep. We’ll go see the family doctor.”

Later that day Andrew sat on an exam table with his mouth opened wide. Their concerned physician was nodding her head and scribbling notes on a pad. “Makes complete sense that he’s having a hard time talking,” she said, finally turning toward Marci. “He has a ‘golf ball’ in the back of his throat. Take a look.”

Marci bent to inspect, followed the light, and gasped. “That’s huge. Exactly what is it?”

“An enlarged tonsil,” she said. “To be on the safe side, I’m sending Andrew to a specialist: a very good ear, nose, and throat doctor who I’m quite certain will get to the bottom of this.”

Two days later, another examination, followed by more jotting and nodding.

However, the otolaryngologist’s tone and expression seemed especially serious. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Do you mind if we go into the other room and talk?”

Marci looked uneasily at Jeff and swallowed. I don’t like the way he said “talk,” she thought. “Wonder what this is about,” she whispered as they left the room.

“Could something else be lodged in Andrew’s throat?” Jeff whispered back.

Marci turned and smiled at Andrew. “You’ll be fine with the nurse. We’ll be right back.”

Lymphoma? CANCER?

Neither Marci nor Jeff could get past those two frightening words. So much of what the doctor said afterward had gone in one ear and out the other. But then hearing terms like “treatment options” and “success rate” effectively snapped them back to the moment.

“Our first step is removing the tumor,” explained the specialist. “And we recommend doing it right away. The color and characteristics of the mass are consistent with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Let’s get him into surgery on Monday.”

“Absolutely,” Marci said.

“Whatever we need to do,” Jeff agreed.

A week later, both parents sat at another table, this time with an oncologist.

Marci’s head was still spinning. None of this is turning out how I expected. I’d hoped for simple: remove the problem, and that’s it.

Despite a flawless surgery, and though the child was recovering well, the cancer cells had metastasized—were spreading throughout his body. Chemotherapy was now entering the picture.

“We’re confident Andrew will beat this,” one doctor had said. “There’s a high success rate for this type of lymphoma. We’ve been researching it for twenty years. He will be fine.”

It was a ray of hope.

Marci remained calm, vowing to do everything necessary to get through. It’s hard right now, but we will get through this. Six months of chemo, and then it will be over.

Andrew is going to be okay.

As the Beyblades skimmed across the arena and the boys high-fived wildly, a pang of fear stabbed at Marci’s stomach. Her optimism was being challenged by worry.

Even after all the treatments, there’s still the possibility of a relapse.

And then there are the chemo’s side effects.

What if something worse happens to him?

How would our kids grow up, knowing they lost their brother?

What is God telling us?

What if we lose him?

THE FEAR-WORRY-STRESS CYCLE

What if?

Whether these two simple words roll off our lips or ripple through our minds, they set into motion our most common form of suffering: a cyclical experience of fear, worry, and stress.

And no one is immune.

For most of us, worry is second nature—often more like a reflex than a choice. On any given day we fret about countless smaller things: whether an accessory matches our outfit, what people will think of us when we open our mouths to speak, about waistlines and wrinkles and workloads. And then plenty of bigger things can hold our thoughts hostage: growing debts and thinly stretched paychecks, protecting our families, strained relationships and social snubs, health scares, parenting challenges, overcoming mistakes, working through painful memories … coming to grips with an unthinkable dilemma.

Just as for the Meyers, it isn’t hard to see how we can get caught in a toxic what-if web.

“My wife, kids, and I are Christians,” Jeff says, “so we have hope in Jesus Christ. Yet the pain is no less real. My faith and my loved ones are everything to me.”

This weary dad talks candidly about a bleak moment right in the middle of their family trial—a point when the heavy weight of stress was almost too much to bear.

“Andrew began to fight us with the treatments—he didn’t want to take his medicine. ‘It tastes bad, and I don’t like it,’ he told me. ‘But you have to,’ I snapped. ‘If you don’t take it, you could die.’ Suddenly it felt as if the words just hung in the air. I couldn’t believe they came out; they shouldn’t come from any parent’s mouth. That shouldn’t be anyone’s reality.”

Can you relate?

Does anything about Jeff and Marci’s struggle read like your story?

Medical doctors and psychologists agree that worry is a key component of anxiety and chronic stress and that it’s often at the heart of so many problems we face: overeating, alcoholism, cigarette smoking, drug abuse, and a long list of other compulsive behaviors. Over the span of our lifetimes, worrying accounts for untold quantities of invaluable time we’ll never get back. We even worry about being worried: Is all this stress killing me?

Most neuroscientists and psychologists think our brain is actually hardwired to manage stress. They point to early humans who engaged their fight-or-flight instinct daily as a way to survive. Our ancestors used worrisome thoughts as motivators to solve problems, find protection, and prepare for the worst.

Yet in modern times the stuff of sleepless nights and sweaty palms has grown into a loop of unnecessary suffering and is fast becoming a public health crisis. “America is at a critical crossroads when it comes to stress and our health,” reports the American Psychological Association (APA). “Most of us are suffering from moderate to high stress these days, with 44 percent reporting that their stress levels have increased over the past five years.”1

The so-called “millennials” (broadly, those born between 1979 and 1995) claim higher stress levels than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations. Of those in this age group—right now there are between seventy-five million and eighty million in the United States—more than half say worry and stress keeps them up at night.2 Even our nation’s youth are fearful. According to the Report of the Surgeon General, anxiety is the most common emotional disorder during childhood and adolescence. About 13 of every 100 children and adolescents ages nine to seventeen experience some kind of anxiety disorder; girls are affected more than boys in about a 2:1 ratio. And, troublingly, even though one-fifth of all children say they “worry a great deal or a lot,” only 3 percent of parents rate their children’s stress as extreme.3

We’ve observed children as young as three caught up in worry. What’s wrong with this picture? Everything! Worried parents raise worried children; this can rob them of emotional well-being. And we’re not just talking about nonreligious households. Our research shows that Christians are every bit as worried as the rest of the world.

What triggers worry for most of us? Ten factors:

  Personal finances

  Work-related stresses

  Family

  Parenting

  Relationships

  Health concerns

  Personal safety

  Body image and appearance

  Temptations (including addictions)

  Social acceptance

Nonetheless, there’s no reason that circumstances or situations must dictate our peace and our joy any more than our emotions must determine our actions. Worry and anxiety are negatively affecting most and profoundly harming many; it’s time for us to learn how to spend each moment more wisely and to establish more quality connections. We need to stop the cycle of worry—and, by God’s strength, we can. We can begin experiencing the life he wants for us!

All of us who follow Jesus are learning to surrender to the one true Source of peace. He came “that [we] may have life, and have it to the full”4—to bring us into intimacy with God, which is foundational to overcoming worry. “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,” he tells us, “and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”5

As the Meyers will admit, it’s much easier to say we believe these truths than it is to live them out day by day—especially amidst a crisis. Yet their family is managing to do it, and the faithful steps they’re taking have been nothing short of transformational.

Let’s head back to their story to discover what’s making a difference.

What Jeff and Marci Are Learning (and We Can Too)

One evening, while six-year-old Alison was with her grandparents and Andrew was at the hospital undergoing treatments, their oldest son, Nathan (ten), had Jeff all to himself for some much-needed father-son time.

The two loaded up on snacks and watched TV. They talked, and wrestled, and Jeff cracked a few jokes—anything to deflate the stress they’d been feeling. Yet he knew his boy’s thoughts were miles away—no doubt in the hospital room, right by Andrew’s side.

Nathan, fidgeting with the remote, turned toward his dad. “I need to know something,” he said, then paused and glanced away.

“Yes, Son?”

Then he looked Jeff in the eye. “Is Andrew going to die?”

Jeff sighed before responding. “It’s so hard. The hardest thing we’ve ever had to go through. We don’t want that to happen. We’ll keep praying, and hoping, and doing all we can to fight the illness. But I have to be honest with you, Nathan—”

Now he also paused, fighting emotion, mustering the strength to let out the words. “It’s possible—it could happen. It’s hard to imagine life without him, but it could happen. If he died, you’d have Ally and Mom and me, and we’d keep on loving each other. And we’d be okay.”