The Dance of Eternity E-Book

Abitha Kumariah

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 232

Beschreibung

In this captivating novel The Dance of Eternity, Ayoka finds herself at a crossroads in life where she must embark on a profound inner journey. As she unravels the complexities of her emotions and confronts her long-buried fears, Ayoka is forced to grapple with the truth that she had once closed her eyes to. This transformative journey takes readers on a soul-stirring adventure, where they are invited to open their hearts and eyes to the depths of human experience. With its raw and honest portrayal of self-discovery, The Dance of Eternity offers a mesmerizing exploration of love, loss, courage and the unyielding power of the human spirit. Prepare to be moved and swept away by this poignant book that reconnects you to your soul.

Leseprobe

To my beloved sister Sharmila, you saw me before I saw myself, loving and believing in me long before I could. Your unwavering support and unconditional love have brought me to where I am today. Your love is beyond this world, thank you for everything. I love you more than words can express!

To my dear Mum and Dad, your hard work and unconditional love have given me the opportunity to create a life on my own terms and follow my own path. Thank you for everything. I love you so much!

For my readers, may this book remind you of the magic within you, help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you.

Contents

the sign

the search

everyday life

the next attempt

dear Ayoka, we need to talk

the talisman

the first encounter

which path do you choose?

the dark room

the creator of chaos

the nameless boy

the hole in the belly

the lake of lost souls

the greatest sin of love

the song of your soul

another struggle

the most luminous creature on my path

who are you without your mask?

a view into the distance

who am I?

ego

death

the worst enemy of all

the true identity of Sonny Bull

the encounter at the waterfall

the creator of life

Many would tell me that it was just pure coincidence, but there are no coincidences. It is impossible to experience this many coincidences every day.

THE SIGN

It’s Monday. Like every morning, I wake up to the sunlight shining into my room. When I get the sun’s warm feeling and a soft kiss on my face, I am deeply satisfied and grateful. As my day starts with the sun’s greeting, I know I’m destined to experience another precious day here on Earth. I have consciously chosen to start my day this way.

Instinctively, I look at my mobile phone to gauge whether I need to move out of bed or stay put for a while. It’s 9:09 a.m. Oh, I sigh to myself. I need to move out of bed. I’ve been checking my phone at strange times, like 11:11 a.m. and 10:10 a.m., every day for two years now. I don’t see them once a day, I see them more than 10 times a day. For a long time, I thought it had a special meaning. But after 2 years, it doesn’t seem to have any special meaning to me anymore. But as so often in life, I wanted to find an explanation for it.

Many would tell me that it was just pure coincidence, but there are no coincidences. It is impossible to experience this many coincidences every day. It wasn’t like I fixated on these numbers and searched for them pathologically. No, I would see them at the strangest times and situations.

It also happens when someone asks me, “Ayoka, can you tell me what time it is?” And just then, it was 10:10 a.m. Another time, I had an appointment with the doctor. And of all times, my appointment was at 10:10 a.m. In my eyes, there are no coincidences. In my opinion, a repetitive situation in our lives is here to tell us something we need to hear at a given moment. Who wants to tell us something? And what exactly are they telling us?

I think to myself, “Today will be an ordinary day like yesterday, the day before or the week before.” My life was just ordinary, nothing exciting but not too boring either. It was just right. There would be times when I could relax and some effort would be needed in between. It’s a good balance. I sit on the bed with my mobile phone, briefly checking the new text messages I have received. My notification shows 5 new messages. I will reply to them later. So, I put my mobile phone aside.

A cold shiver ran down my spine. All of a sudden, I feel completely different like a changed person. It is not easy to put into words what I am feeling right now. Is this a pleasant or an unpleasant feeling? After a while, I finally realized it was the latter. I could feel fear inside me for some reason, which worried me a lot.

Confused, I ran to the bathroom to freshen up. I tied my hair so that it didn’t get wet before washing my face with cold water. Then, I reached for the toothpaste and noticed a bright red mark on both my wrists. When I looked closer, it looked like the mark had been burnt into my skin with fire. It kept glowing conspicuously like a warning sign. I gently stroked the mark on my left wrist with my right hand. It felt like a fresh wound. The mark was unfamiliar to me, nor could I decipher it. It looked like writing I didn’t know, or even like art.

Unfortunately, I could not explain why and how the mark suddenly appeared on my wrists. Maybe my sister was playing a stupid joke on me. With today’s technology, anything is possible. Or maybe the mark is the reason why I feel strange today. Has this sign triggered something in me? I thought nothing great of it and rushed into my big sister’s room. I see her already up on her bed, staring intently into her mobile phone. “Myianna, you’ve been very mischievous with your stupid prank. How do I get this off my wrists? It looks really bad!”

She puts her mobile phone to the side. “What kind of prank? What do you mean, Ayoka?”

When Myianna lies, I notice it immediately. But this time, she is telling the truth. I show her both of my wrists. She rubs her eyes and says, “I don’t see anything, Ayoka.”

“Don’t you see the two red glowing signs here?” I pointed nervously to my both wrists.

She shakes her head in confusion. “I don’t see anything except the tattoos on your wrists. Nothing red like you just said.”

That just doesn’t make any sense. “What does that mean? Why am I the only one who can see this mark?”

Panic started in me. I tried to understand the situation. But up to this point, I just have nothing, no information except these two signs. If there was anything I couldn’t stand, it was uncertainty. I couldn’t deal with it properly, I’ve been wanting to learn how to deal with it better for a while now. I guess many want to have control over every situation. This is why uncertainty frightens us.

Letting go of control means to surrender to any circumstance that life hands out to us. We just welcome everything that arrives to us. Observing and understanding the bigger picture and everything around us is the real gift behind releasing any control in our lives.

“Calm down first, Ayoka. Don’t panic. Everything will be fine. It doesn’t have to mean anything bad. Okay?”

“Okay, you are right,” I reply.

Fortunately, I confided in her and talked about everything because I knew she would believe me. Anyone else would not have been willing to listen to this with calmness and composure. They probably won’t even believe me. And that is why I value our relationship so much. It is a real treasure to have a sister like her. I drew the sign on a piece of paper to help Myianna visualize it. Strangely, there are different signs on both my wrists. One contained more symbols while the other was much shorter.

Without her, I might have gone down a completely wrong path, one where I would have been lost forever.

THE SEARCH

With our laptops in front of us, we started searching on the internet. After hours of rummaging in various internet search engines, we unfortunately had no success and could not find anything useful. This sign is as unknown to the internet as it is to us. Myianna reached out to me. “Come on, let’s go to the library.”

This was the oldest library in our city. It was known as one of the largest and most beautiful libraries in the world. “I completely forgot about that. You’re just brilliant! What would I do without you?”

Myianna smiles warmly at me, how grateful I am to have her as my sister. We set off to continue our search there. I always admired her even as a child because she is incredibly smart and strong. She always gave me a lot of love and attention. Without her, I might have gone down a completely wrong path, one where I would have been lost forever.

On the shelves, there were about 20-30 books about signs and symbols from different countries and eras. A thick book immediately catches my eye. I carefully take it out of the shelf and browse through it. Something tells me that I will find information’s about these signs in this book. I just opened a page randomly to start searching. And on this page of all pages, I found what we were looking for. In the book, I found the sign written on the right side of my wrist. However, there are several letters attached to this word.

I found out what the letters meant. The letter on my wrist, according to this book, is just the letter H. We tried looking into it a little further, but we ended up at the same point.

“What can we do with a letter? Is it a name, a place? Nothing just makes sense” It seems to me that it will take longer to understand this strange experience. It’s as if I must understand or learn something in the process to finally find out what all this means, a kind of realization.

Fatigue finally overcomes me. When I experience emotional roller coasters, as I do today, I tend to become especially tired. It was a confusing day, but an exciting one nonetheless. We went swimming at the lake and enjoyed the rest of our free afternoon to relax. I have to say that the search was still a lot of fun. It feels like we are in a movie searching for a great secret, a secret that will perhaps change our lives forever.

My grandfather once told me, “When you like a person or admire something about them, it always speaks to a part of yourself that this person expresses. At that given moment, you see nothing else but yourself reflected in that person.”

EVERYDAY LIFE

Weeks passed since the sign appeared, it doesn’t bother me too much now. Everyday life caught up with me, and the sign just slipped my mind. I was just curious about it, but wouldn’t we all be? And as long as others can’t see it, I don’t have to make excuses. Still, I observed everything around me closely during this time.

The weeks continued and were very tiring. Again and again, I saw people being treated badly. No matter where I went, I saw people reacting with hatred, jealousy, or selfishness. Even in my personal life, I experienced a lot of ignorance from my friends. Moments would come upon me and steal all my energy and peace. Now and then, I just want to book a flight and go to a beach where I could spend time alone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t escape everyday life that easily. Too often I thought of others, especially my family who needed me. The truth is, we all need each other, and that’s why I see it as a gift that we have each other. Running away was never an option for me.

All these situations triggered a lot of unpleasant feelings in me. But I try not to harm myself with those negative thoughts and feelings. Those negative thoughts mustn't take over. So, I tried to stay strong. I told myself that I couldn’t influence everything in this world. I took a deep breath and did what I liked to do to distract myself from reality. I found Myianna’s old paint box. I now want to paint something beautiful, so much so that it would make me feel so happy.

I decided to draw a picture of a Native American with a little wolf sitting next to him. Native Americans trigger something calming in me. It brings me peace when I think of them. They are very wise and clever. They keep their authenticity and express their truth, not caring about what others think of them. They stand completely behind what they believe in. I have always thought of them as very strong and inspiring people. They remind me a bit of myself. I don’t want to say I am wise, strong or smart. No, definitely not. It’s something else that connects me with them. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t admire them the way I do now.

My grandfather once told me, “When you like a person or admire something about them, it always speaks to a part of yourself that this person expresses. At that given moment, you see nothing else but yourself reflected in that person.”

My grandfather was probably right in what he shared with me. The wisdom my grandfather has is beautiful. Through encounters with others, we are reminded of the fact that we carry the same beauty within us which we feel and perceive in others. God always speaks to us, the question is whether we can perceive it or not.

So, I had something in me that reflected the essence of the Native American. Maybe my gentleness or my tireless courage and fighting spirit were what's similar. I am a very thoughtful person, someone who sees the welfare of others as my main duty. Whatever it was, I always carried the Native Americans in my heart since the day I read about them and studied their heartbreaking history. Yes, for a while I often thought about them, but then everyday life caught up with me once again. Although, my heart will never forget them because that’s where I always carry them.

Next to the Native American is a little wolf howling and looking wistfully up at the moon above him. Why a wolf of all things? If I were an animal, I would certainly be a wolf. From my point of view, the Native American and the wolf were always a wonderful team. They are very similar in their essence and energy. That’s probably why it always brought them together. Naturally, one has respect for both and knows that they are wise and powerful in their being.

I smiled after that because I finally finished my painting, and I must say I am proud of it. Considering that I only drew with watercolours in my school days, I was happy with the result. I guess I was too hard on myself again. You could see very clearly what I had drawn.

Art is just beautiful. In my eyes, no painting can be painted twice. Art is always the expression of yourself. Someone can try to copy you and paint the same, but you will notice a difference in the energy. I bet that you will prefer a painting that is equal to your energy. I could see something of myself in the painting. I liked the colours I chose. The painting was expressive and vibrant, and it was painted with love and joy. It is fascinating how much a painting can tell us about a person.

We think of the worst-case scenario to be prepared for it, but we are never prepared for life. We cannot be prepared for the events we encounter in life. That is the fascinating and unique thing about it, the uncertainty of what it will serve us during our time on this beautiful planet.

THE NEXT ATTEMPT

The next morning, I woke up and looked at the time. I then washed my face, ran to the kitchen, and drank tea as I usually do every morning. I’d then lie down on the couch and start reading through the new messages on my mobile phone. With one eye, I saw something light up on my wrists. Startled, I realized the sign had expanded. There are now more letters showing up on my wrists.

I tried to calm myself down because I couldn’t think straight, and I felt slightly dizzy. I immediately called Myianna and told her everything. I asked her to go to the library and borrow the book we had discovered last time. Myianna said, “Sure, I’ll be happy to do that. Please do not leave the house. Okay?”

“Alright.”

“With a full head like yours, you’re only in danger. Bye and see you soon.”

“Bye,” I said. I had to listen to loud music to calm down and distract myself. Hundreds of questions ran through my head. “What is happening to me?” I prayed and hoped that this would not end badly for my family and me.

I had to wait for Myianna for another 8 hours because she was out at work. I couldn’t go out. So, I watched my favourite anime and ate my breakfast even though I didn’t feel like eating. My eyes kept wandering to the sign on my wrists. The hours passed at a snail’s pace as I tried to do so many things that made me happy and distracted me.

Somehow, I thought of death, and that I would die because of this sign. But I could not explain why this thought rose in me. Maybe it was just fear that led me to these strange thoughts. In unusual situations, we always assume the worst. We think of the worstcase scenario to be prepared for it, but we are never prepared for life. We cannot be prepared for the events we encounter in life. That is the fascinating and unique thing about life, the uncertainty of what it will serve us during our time on this beautiful planet.

After 8 hours, Myianna finally emerged with the book. “Oh my goodness!” she said, “Now I see it! The sign.”

I was taken aback. “Really, what do you see?”

She grabbed my arm and stroked the sign with her fingers. She asked anxiously, “Does it hurt much, Ayoka?”

“No, fortunately not.”

She drew the sign on my wrist on a piece of paper for safety’s sake, just to make sure we were seeing the same signs. She saw the same thing as I did. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. “Why does Myianna suddenly see the sign too? Do the others now see it too? Why has it now completed itself? What did all this mean?”

I was incredibly curious, but at the same time, the fear rose more within me. Do you know stage fright, the fear of going to the dentist, or the fear of doing something stupid and being caught? This feeling of fear that rose in me was not comparable to those things. It was a completely different dimension of fear that I could now experience and feel.

Myianna and I sat nervously in front of the book and carefully flipped through the pages. And there it was, the same word that was written on my wrists. Sachem is a chief of the Native American people. We looked at each other and at the same time uttered the following sentence: “That can’t be true!”

I was always very inspired and excited about Native Americans, and Myianna always told me that I’m a Native American by nature. The last few weeks, no matter where I went, I was reminded of things related to them. Under each symbol, there was a little bit of information about the word.

Sachem: “Sachem is the name given to the tribal leader or chief of a village among primitive peoples.”

Nature people; a tribe very close to nature and with little technical equipment

People who are living on a simple level of civilization

A chief is the recognized leader of a tribe. He must have certain character traits to be chosen by the tribe. The chief can only retain his chieftaincy through wisdom, bravery, and above-average performance. Despite this very exciting information, we did not know why this word was on my wrists. I was very exhausted and just wanted to go to bed.

You always find allies who think and feel the same way. You magically attract these people into your life. Trust that you are not alone, there are people out here like you. When you are both ready, you will meet.

DEAR AYOKA, WE NEED TO TALK

Once again, I had a dream that felt very real. In my dream, I was trapped in an empty room. I see a door and walk through it, but I always end up in the same place when I go through this door. I sit down in the middle of the room and think out loud to myself. Why am I here? What does all this mean? I am confused. Is this a dream? Because it feels very real. I am completely aware of what I am experiencing at this moment.

All of a sudden, the room lights up in green and begins to come alive. The room blossoms. The floor comes alive and grows to a strong green glowing grass. Trees begin to grow all around me. The sky is clear blue without any clouds. A male voice begins to speak. The voice sounds older. I was horrified and felt this dream was becoming very eerie and frightening.

The voice says, “What are you here for? I will come back to this question later. I can tell you one thing right now. You are only here because you have been prepared and tested for this situation all your life.”

I thought, “Of course.” Once again, a strange and imaginative dream materializes in my mind, as usual. Typical! My imagination can’t hold itself to boundaries.

Then this voice said, “By the way, this is not a dream, and I can hear your every thought. I abduct you in your dreams to explain things to you in more detail because we cannot reach out to you in everyday life. That is beyond my power. It would also not be appropriate to intervene in your present reality. Your questions are understandable, and some answers will be given to you soon.”

I briefly introduced myself, and the voice did the same. “I am Tachie Bull from Araphaoes. I am a chief from 1755. You and I know each other very well, but I can’t tell you any more than that. I will give you all the information soon and prepare you for it. You have a very important role with us. I had gone through something similar. It won’t be easy, it has never been easy.”

I smiled and said, “Yes, I don’t know the easy way either.”

“For this answer, I will gladly take you back to the year 1755. By ‘take you’ I mean we will travel back in time. You don’t have to be afraid, and you can trust me.

For you to trust me, I will tell you what I know about you. I think this will help you understand that I know you and that you can rely on me.”

I was perplexed at the thought, but I let him continue. “You are fearless, your fearlessness is almost inhuman. People give up. But you always get up again, no matter how painful it is. There were many moments when you didn’t want to go on. You were tired of all the disappointments and all the struggles. But that didn’t stop you from giving up. That was never an option for you. Deep down, you still saw life as a gift and believe me, you are right.

You are a young girl, but you have an enormous amount of wisdom inside you. You don’t take it from the books, it is in your nature. It’s a strength of yours. You don’t see it yet, but on this journey, it will all come together.

“You can’t share your wisdom with this world. That makes you sad. One thing I can tell you, though, is that they don’t want to hear it either. There will come a time for you when they will be ready, but it has not come yet. If you were to share it with them now, they would drag your wisdom and your person through the mud before declaring you crazy.

“You will meet people who sense your wisdom, and they will magnetically run to you, as with many special people in the history of the world. You always find allies who think and feel the same way. You magically attract these people into your life. Trust that you are not alone, there are people out here like you. When you are both ready, you will meet. Your intuition is enormous. It is easy for you to distinguish who can be trusted and who cannot. You don’t let others influence you. They can say and think what they want. You have learned to listen to yourself and your inner wisdom.”

After Tachie Bull told me all those things about myself, I felt they were rather inaccurate. I, Ayoka, am not the person he just described. I never felt myself to be fearless, wise, or smart. I often doubted my intuition. I always wished to become that version of myself, but the sad truth was that I was somehow moving further and further away from it…

Tachie interrupted me from my thoughts. “On this journey, you will learn and understand what I have shared with you and through what eyes I see this world.”

“You said ‘we’ at the beginning,” I said, “Who do you mean by that?”

“I am not alone in this room,” he explained, “Your family is here. Unfortunately, only I can contact you.”

“By family, you mean those who are at home?”

“No, this family is not the same as your family in the present. It is the family of your original soul.”

I no longer understood anything.

For a moment, he was not able to stifle his laughter. He laughed to himself. “It may be very confusing. In any case, we’ll come back to this subject later. I must elaborate on a lot of things. I can’t reveal everything to you yet, for the confusion is already too great and we must spare you and not waste your energy. The human mind is quickly overwhelmed when it receives too much information that turns its reality upside down. This is perfectly normal. Too much confusion would confuse your mind and thus endanger and lower your energy. We don’t want that. It is very important to us that you are well.”

I saw it this way. My information will fit together like a puzzle to form a big picture. In the beginning, you are confused and would only see many colourful puzzle pieces scattered on the floor. With time, you develop a strategy for the puzzle and sort out the colours. You start to define the frame.

Tachie agreed with my thoughts. “In the same way, you will learn to sort out all the information in your head. In the end, everything will be as clear as possible.

You won’t have any more open questions, but you will have access to all the answers yourself.”

“Can I see you? Will I ever see you?” I asked Tachie.

“When we set out on our journey, you will see me. Here in this room, it is impossible.”

I said, “Sorry for all the questions. When will we start the journey?”