The Warfighter's Soul E-Book

Greg Wark

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022

Seitenzahl: 370

Beschreibung

To the suffering veteran: now is not the time to ring out. A QRF is on its way.   In The Warfighter's Soul, Greg Wark and Ray Rodriguez explain the trauma and depression that attack veterans and offer proven strategies to combat this enemy. This book is for veterans, those who know a veteran, and those entering the military. It will prepare readers to face the unseen enemy that buries itself in a veteran's soul.   The tactics found here offer practical solutions and explanations of why and how they work. Read to understand why so many veterans commit suicide, - the signs of a person considering suicide, - how to help the veteran in your life, - actions for confronting stress and trauma, - how to survive thoughts of depression and suicide, and - what the soul is and how it works. Learn tactics to manage traumatic events and help others who are engaged in this unseen battle.  

Leseprobe

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

The Warfighter’s Soul: Engaging in the Battle for the Warrior’s Soul Copyright © 2022 D. Gregory Wark and Ray Rodriguez

978-1-4245-6020-2 (softcover)

978-1-4245-6021-9 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

All Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version® (NKJV). Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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For all men and women who serve and have served in the US military. Your selfless act of serving the country’s citizenry is unrepayable, short of taking a post.

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

1 Inspiration

Part I The Warfighter’s Soul

2 The Oath and Power of Words

3 Invisible Wounds

4 Warfighter Faith

5 Society’s Unpaid Debt

Part II Detection

6 Signs and Syndromes

Part III Relief and Recovery

7 Psychological First Aid

8 Speaking a New Language

9 The Power of a Listener

Part IV Application

10 Building Memorials

11 Changing the Pattern

12 Taking Life Back

Part V The Cause

13 Elements and the Battleground

14 Morals, the Law, UCMJ, and ROEs

15 Causation

16 Soul at Risk

17 A Renovated Life

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

Bibliography

About the Authors

PREFACE

The flag...is a visible symbol of the ideal aspirations ofthe American people. It is the one focus in which allunite in reverential devotion. We differ in religion; wediffer in politics; we engage in disputes as to the truemeaning of the Constitution, and even challenge thewisdom of some of its provisions; we inject self-interestand greed into most of the ordinary transactions ofdaily life, but through the sanctifying folds of the flag,the collective intelligence of the nation rises superior tothe wisdom of its parts, and thus ensures the perpetuityof the Republic.1

—Major General Arthur MacArthur

To declare war is the most sobering decision a nation’s leaders will ever make. Because nothing tests a society more than war. Its debate brings out every kind of emotion, every belief stance, every political position, and every life’s philosophy. Nothing can polarize a people and then unify them more then war. War’s “justness,” therefore, is a relevant discussion for debate for a nation right up until the time the decision is made. But once the decision is made, a nation’s moral responsibility is to unify around those who are called to prosecute it. The nation who sends men and women to battle must come to the place where those who are fighting the war never have to question their support and respect.

Several years ago, I met with an Iraq veteran and a veteran of the war in Afghanistan for breakfast. Our conversation focused on their experiences, many painful, as one story of deployment and war seemed to spark the other vet to tell of his experiences. Neither vet cared what those around thought as they laughed, teared up, spoke profanities, and ate. Both shared the common torture of losing their childhood best friend.

After a while, an older man walked past our table in the direction of the restroom. The next time we saw him he seemed confused, and we later found out from his caretaker that it was due to dementia. As he approached, we noticed he was wearing a World War II veteran hat. When he came close to our table, both the soldiers stood to their feet introducing themselves as veterans and reached out to shake his hand and thank him for his service. Surprised but joyful, the older man began to share his experiences with the two fellow veterans with absolute clarity and no signs of dementia. Knowing he was speaking to brothers, he spoke like he was as a young warfighter again. Our new friend spoke about landing several times on a foreign beach to face the enemy in combat. We fixated on him, and time stood still as he teared up along with the rest of us, remembering his fellow brothers and the loss of his best friend. It was as though his friends had died just yesterday, an experience all three men and I shared. Our new friend was ninety-two years old and truly a hero.

Over the years, I have been privileged to sit around fires with those who served and listen for hours as men and women told their own stories. I noted how hard it is to serve our country. Our men and women give so much, and the memories they live with never go away. While they may heal a bit, the pain is always there.

Warfare has been part of the human experience since the very beginning of our species. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that humanity is somewhat predisposed to it. “Since the United States was founded in 1776, she has been at war during 214 out of her 235 calendar years of existence. In other words, there were only 21 calendar years in which the U.S. was not engaged in a war.”2 While the exact number of years without war remains debatable, we can agree that war has been a significant part of this country’s existence.3 Most boys from early childhood have a dream of fighting and defeating an “enemy.” As a child, I would often make a bow and arrow out of green limbs and play cowboys and Indians with several of my boyhood friends. We would divide into teams and go to the orange groves of Fullerton, California, and pelt each other with oranges until only one man remained standing. In our later years, we would joke that this was the true birth of paintball.

However, this book isn’t about war; it is about the effects of war on the warfighters. Unlike the make-believe warfighting games of one’s youth, adult military members take a stand and volunteer to go into the abyss of battle aware of the risks. Still, most are unaware of the consequences war can have on the stability of their soul. Over the past decade, an unimaginable tragedy has begun to unfold that seems to be ignored or shrugged off for the most part. I don’t think it’s because people don’t want to do something. I just think it’s because there are few real answers. This tragedy is happening to the best of us, the selfless and honorable segment of our population. They don’t speak of their suffering, their dark experiences, or the depth of their sacrifice. I call this people group warfighters. You might call them veterans.

The idea that an average of twenty-two veterans commit suicide per day originates from a 2012 suicide data report on veterans at risk of suicide.4 After the Department of Veterans Affairs took a passionate stance to reduce veteran suicide in 2007, research into the issue began. Using data collected from twenty-one states, the researchers reported, “Among cases where history of US military service was reported, Veterans comprised approximately 22.2% of all suicides reported during the project period. If this prevalence estimate is assumed to be constant across all US states, an estimated 22 Veterans will have died from suicide each day in the calendar year 2010.”5 An estimate to be sure, but since its publication, that number of twenty-two veteran suicides per day has become the moniker or calling cry for action to prevent veteran suicide. In the VA’s “2020 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report,” it estimated that in 2018, a total of 6,435 US Veterans had committed suicide.6 That number averages out to approximately 17.6 suicides per day. This statistic does not imply that things are getting better, only that reporting has improved, resulting in more accurate numbers. Yet the twenty-two per day moniker continues.

Too many of our veterans continue to make the agonizing decision to end their own lives each day. They may be veterans from Vietnam or any war since. Furthermore, the suicide rate of active-duty personnel has continued to climb.7 For example, a 2019 report by CNN news indicated that 2018 saw a 300% rise in the suicides of Special Forces personnel.8 Additionally, this problem is not limited to just the US military. In a 2020 article on mental health in the military, The British Forces Broadcasting Service reported a five-year increase in suicide amongst its military.9 These reports show that during the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the rate of suicide has skyrocketed. While the Pentagon has worked diligently to erase the stigma attached to suicide, the rate among warfighters remains high. This unbelievable statistic hit us unprepared as a nation and must be faced with determination and tenacity to stop it.

When warfighters’ time in active service ends, many other aspects of their lives end with it: their time away from home, their pay, time with their military brothers, the grime and smell of war. However, their personally endured tortures do not so easily wash away. Tortures resulting from participating in the conduct of war, regardless of their MOS (military occupational specialty). Torturous memories endlessly replaying out of sight from even their closest family and friends.

As such, it’s our turn to have their backs. It is our turn to tend to their wounds. It’s our turn to sit by their sides while they heal. And it’s our turn to hold them up as they rehabilitate from their physical, mental, and moral injuries. Today, science is making great strides in mind mapping and the promotion of knowledge that heals the warrior, but little time is spent on healing methods for the soul. A soldier unprepared for the anguish of war is as vulnerable as a soldier sent into battle without armor. Due to the stressors of military life, veterans are often left with life-altering ailments that make life after service seem unbearable. For too many, the results are a high degree of homelessness, an ever-growing suicide rate, devastating divorce statistics, post-traumatic stress, traumatic brain injury, and more.

The seriousness of the issue of veteran suicide deserves a life-and-death approach if we are to win the battle for the souls of our warfighters. We aren’t seeking passive answers or ways to numb the pain. I approach this issue with the belief that the way to save the lives of those who stand at the precipice of life and death is through the discovery of multiple truths. We will enter this darkness with the determination that truth-seekers must carry. And no matter how long it takes or hard we must fight, we will find it. My dream is to wake up a struggling and confused nation to focus on a blight we can fix. To make hope go viral among our warfighters and their families. It’s our turn to sacrifice for their freedom. It’s our time to go all in, to find answers, and call those suffering out of the shadows and into the clean, healing air.

When writing this book, Ray and I made a conscious choice to address the warfighter, but we are aware that it isn’t only that part of the military who struggle with suicidal ideations. It is because of this that we wrote programs that will greatly help all military personnel regardless of role.

Greg Wark

INTRODUCTION

If suicide started in a cave, it would be found in thedarkest part of the cave, ending with a final drop intoa bottomless abyss. The cave entrance is not hiddenin some distant jungle. It is as visible as an exit rampon any roadway. Enter here, states the sign, and I’llsave you from all your troubles. We all see the sign. Itdoes not hide itself nor lurk in the shadows. When theroadway of one’s life becomes a monotonous treadmill,this sign sits at a fork in the road, like all the othersignposts. Some signs list criteria, a set of qualificationsand requirements one must have or be willing toachieve prior to entering. The suicide exit sign doesnot. To the burdened traveler, its message rings out,I’ll save you from your troubles, sometimes followedby a whisper. The whisper lulls the listener with thewords, and others will no longer be burdened by you.Tired of their troubles, the weary travelers venture in.Some look around and are detoured by the darknessreturning for another day of chaos. Yet, there are thoseso burdened by the traffic on their roadway, desperatefor a better life and unable to find it, who continuefarther and farther into the cave in the hope that inthere, they will find their future.

—So goes the description found in the mind of one soul rescued from the cave

This allegory describes the lure and promise of suicide. Having worked with countless individuals struggling to find their way in life, it is easy to see how such a place might draw them in. When the excitement of life and the fight to achieve it has left, anyone, be it a farmer, business-person, scientist, or soldier, is at risk of entering an intense struggle for survival. Imagine a drowning man fighting for one more breath. He will eventually surrender to his death without a rescue. This book concerns that rescue.

We propose to lead you along two paths: one for the sufferer and one for the rescuer.

To the sufferer, a potential member of the “Lost twenty-two,” don’t ring out just yet. Wait one more day and then another. This text offers knowledge, understanding, and training for that very purpose. You will gain knowledge and understanding about the environment in which you find yourself, and you will learn how to tread in such waters. As the real-life stories found here demonstrate, it is possible to lighten your pack (your burdens, if you will) just enough to remain afloat while waiting for rescue to arrive. You will also find basic skills for rescuing yourself by finding that solid ground on which to launch a brighter future.

To the rescuer, consider these as first responder tactics. Injuries requiring physicians, wounds requiring surgeons, and diseases requiring medication must be left to skilled professionals. Your goal here is to help inspire the sufferer, to help them find purpose and continue living. In this book, you can learn some first aid skills and tactics that will help you identify those in trouble and learn how to start the conversation that could lead them to the help they need.

To our fellow service members, we are connected. Connected in cause and connected in our military culture. We are brothers to the end. Let that end be long in coming.

An ancient author on military strategies, Sun Tzu, instructed his officers to know one’s battleground. Knowing one’s battleground makes victory possible; not knowing it assures defeat. Defeating suicidal thoughts requires knowing where the battle is being played out. We begin the process of Sun Tzu’s “taking whole” approach by guiding our readers through getting to know the battleground of the soul and the battle for the soul against invisible demons.10

This book consists of five parts. Part One discusses the warfighter’s soul. When young people join the military, they and their souls are separated from the rest of society. They are trained and indoctrinated into a different culture. This book describes how the transition from a civilian culture to one in the military and back again can negatively affect the veteran as well as some methods for overcoming these transitions. It further considers the debt society owes to the military, how it might be paid, and the subsequent penalties for non-payment.

Part Two addresses detection. Beyond depression and stress, what other signs might a rescuer notice in a person considering suicide? In this section, the use of the term syndrome relates to signs we’ve categorized and not necessarily to specific syndromes articulated in psychology manuals. Nonetheless, they do reflect conditions that we find indicate a potential for suicidal thought.

Part Three concerns relief and recovery. Confronting stress and trauma can be a daunting task. Images, smells, and sounds of combat become ingrained in the warfighter’s mind. It requires a lot of work and time to lighten their influence. It is not for the faint at heart. But doing some of the work—even a small part—can bring a small amount of light into another’s darkness. Using a crawl, walk, run technique for reversing and/or redirecting a sufferer’s current course toward destruction could allow them to slowly gain control over their situation.

The opening segment speaks to the current work and efforts regarding first response and the need for immediate help. Next, we discuss the first step and methods for starting a conversation. Much like addictions, the first step to solving the problem is to admit it exists. As a rescuer, you will likely need to initiate that conversation. Learning to listen and identify the separate issues that burden a person makes it possible for you to help. Thoughts of suicide consist of multiple problems bound together and loaded on the back of the sufferer. Here, you learn to first open yourself up to listening to some very ugly stories. Were they not so, there would be no trauma. You will learn to listen for the sufferer’s sake while at the same time avoiding your instinct to make impulsive judgments about the event. You learn about potential pitfalls, such as telling the traumatized person what they should or should not have done or articulating what you would have done.

Part Four introduces methods the sufferer can apply right away. These tactics have worked successfully for several years. Be sure to read “Framing the Issue” at the beginning of Part Four. It will help you understand one of the major concerns of being a rescuer: recognizing when you may or may not be able to help save a life from venturing into the suicidal cave.

Part Five attempts to answer the more esoteric questions of why a person would commit suicide. Do not look for easy answers here or anywhere else. There are none. However, understanding why one person might be more susceptible to suicide’s lures than the next is possible. Isolating and identifying the problem(s) becomes easier when you know the parts and functions of the broken device, in this case, the soul.

The first chapter in this section identifies an arguable yet workable list of elements and definitions describing the soul. We lay a foundational perspective in approaching the elements of the human soul, not as definitive but only to provide a common point of reference on the subject. The second chapter in Part Five attempts to establish the working mechanisms within the soul and the rules by which they function. The next chapter speaks to the law. All laws result from our human struggle with our most general philosophical questions: Who am I, and why am I here? From there, the questions grow to include others, for example, groups and societies. Laws, rules, orders, and morals are constructs developed by individuals and groups to maintain order while we continue our effort to answer these basic questions.

Next, we explore causation,11 a legal term identifying the cause of a problem. It attempts to answer the question of why someone would choose to commit suicide. While trauma is a prominent cause of stress, there are so many other causes as well, some small and some, well, traumatic.12 Demystifying the interplay of stress-causing agents and one’s personal guidelines for one’s existence offers a unique view into how, given enough disruptions, the entire system might collapse into a judgment of guilty and a sentence of death.

1

INSPIRATION

Thus, do we memorialize those who, having ceasedliving with us, now live within us. Thus, do weconsecrate ourselves, the living, to carry on the strugglethey began. Too much blood has gone into this soil forus to let it lie barren. Too much pain and heartachehave fertilized the earth on which we stand. We heresolemnly swear this shall not be in vain. Out of this, andfrom the suffering and sorrow of those who mourn this,will come—we promise—the birth of a new freedom forall humanity everywhere. And let us say…amen.13

—Rabbi Roland Gittelsohn

In March 1945, following a five-week, heavily contested battle on the island of Iwo Jima, the United States military established three cemeteries, one for each of the three Marine divisions that had fought on the island. For the 5th Marine Division, Chaplain and Rabbi Roland Gittelsohn gave a stirring dedication. We cannot in good conscience separate the loss of those who inspired Gittelsohn’s words from those veterans who leave the battleground alive and yet leave part of themselves behind. Of those, we have lost and continue to lose too many to suicide. Their loss signals an ongoing war on a different, more personal battlefield. The struggle with suicide is as real as combat on a physical battlefield. It engages in the battlefield of one’s mind, and it is furious and unrelenting.

When patrolling soldiers come under overwhelming fire from an enemy, they send a battlefield radio signal known as TIC (troops in contact). This designation requests that a QRF (quick reaction force) immediately deploy to their location. Its purpose—to overwhelm and kill the enemy by superior numbers and firepower. This action intends to subdue the enemy and mitigate loss of life to the patrol. Many veterans today are signaling a TIC here at home. However, instead of “troops in contact,” the call echoes “veterans in contact.” This urgent and silent VIC, unfortunately, often goes unheard and unmet by an adequate QRF. Today’s suffering veterans need specialized and prepared QRF. One capable of overwhelming and destroying an enemy not made of flesh and blood. Building such a QRF and teaching and training veterans new battlefield tactics aimed at surviving this enemy is the motivating force behind the writing of this book.

Warfighters communicate in brutal, clear, and concise messages. Messages devoid of fluff. Time and clarity are essential. Orders are carried out exactly as specified. Failure to do so may result in grave consequences. This language is difficult to hear by a society ruled by political correctness, sensitivity to harsh environments, and lack of direction. In this environment, many VIC messages go unheard. They need a reaction force armed with wisdom founded on purpose and direction and that is unafraid of engaging. A force capable of bringing peace of mind. A peace that calms the mind and then sets it on a fresh course with clear direction and purpose. A peace armed with hope and perseverance. Peace is obtained through victory!

The terrible price paid for not speaking out is the death of vital wisdom. Soon followed by human lives. When wisdom is silenced, the dark side of mankind speaks up and grows louder. And this dark side never shuts up. It screams its devious and convoluted deceptions from the mountain tops. Void of wisdom, man is left to believe what he hears the most. Lies, deceptions, and misdirection, all glazed with carefully selected facts, make up the enemies’ destructive weapons, and all are effective whether they come from leaders with ulterior motives or from a close friend who may be described as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Lies have a capacity for multiplication, and the more often they are heard, the more believable they become. Wisdom’s weapon of choice against such lies is truth. Truth burns through facades, smashes falsehood, washes away the murky waters of compromise, and launches all good things in those who embrace it.

It is often the case in those contemplating suicide that the mind has embraced something other than the truth. The confusion builds as the sufferer questions the actions or inaction on the battlefield. Over time, truth becomes unreachable, resulting in hopelessness and despair. Mitigating this outcome requires a response force capable of bringing a calming atmosphere of truth.

More and more, well-dressed lies make truth not only unpopular but also disdained. Boldness in speaking the truth is looked down upon, and compromise of the truth is viewed as progressive. A common counterattack against the idea of truth includes questions such as, “Okay, but whose truth?” Or “Who or what gets to decide what is truth?” From this point, the conversation tends to become just another skirmish of wit and will. When wit wanes, opinion fills the gap, and it is endless. I (Greg) am not suggesting that we can all agree on what constitutes truth. But truth isn’t about opinions; it’s about realities. When dealing with suicidal tendencies, reality is deeply personal. Sometimes, we can determine whether someone may be experiencing these tendencies by asking personal questions, such as:

• Hey, are you okay?

• You seem to be somewhere else right now.

• What is going on inside you?

• Tell me what you are thinking.

Truth is exposed through the uncomfortable process of prodding.

Two of my favorite movie stars are Matt Damon and Robin Williams. Damon plays Will Hunting, a savant in mathematics who works as a maintenance man at a prestigious university. When the head of the mathematics department places a challenge on the board outside a class, Will Hunting solves it. Once the professor realizes it has been solved, he begins searching for the “student” with these exceptional abilities. After no success, he places another problem on the board hoping to expose the genius. By chance, he sees Will Hunting writing on the board and attempts to chase him down. Over time, the movie reveals Will Hunting to be a deeply disturbed person needing a psychologist (played by Robin Williams) to find help. Toward the end of the movie, there is a moment when the psychologist corners Will Hunting and tells him, “It’s okay.” Will responds with a passive, “Yeah, I know.” Then the psychologist repeats himself, “It’s okay.” Again, Will responds, “I know.” This scene repeats itself five times, and each time, Will becomes more emotional and ultimately breaks down and begins crying. Will had become adept at hiding the truth not only from himself but also everyone else. The problem is that when we cover the truth, the mind and soul begin to erode, and destructive behavior begins to be revealed. In Good Will Hunting, the best of who Will Hunting was to become was only possible when truth set him free.

If you are the one standing at that precipice of life or death, there are a few things I want to ask of you. I’m aware you feel alone and hopeless and that taking your own life looks like the only answer. I am aware you are suffering big time with the voices and images replaying repeatedly in your mind. But I want to ask you to do what you have done countless times before as a warfighter: Will you accept a new mission? This mission is to read this book, apply this truth, and kill the enemy. Your enemy is the will to take your own life. This very well may be the greatest and most powerful enemy you have ever faced, but if you stay with me, you will soon gain the weapons not only to kill your enemy but also to find the enemies of your band of brothers and lead them to kill their enemies as well.

You are used to brutal communication, so what I am about to write is nothing new. I ask you to suck it up a little longer, accept this mission, and complete it. And one more thing. I would like to lead you to a new oath. But as you take this one, I want what comes out of your mouth to be more than words. I want you to find a place you feel best and most at peace and meditate on these words. Then, when you are ready, say this as many times as you need for you to absorb its ramifications.

“I will not permit myself to define my life’s value or lack thereof. I will not give the events that have invaded my soul the right to define my life’s value or lack thereof.

Lastly, I will not allow the dark voices in my head permission to define my life’s value or lack thereof.”

Absorbing this truth into your soul is the first step toward redis-covering happiness, meaning, and purpose. The person you are today is about to meet the new person of all your tomorrows.

PART I

THE WARFIGHTER’S SOUL

Some might describe the human soul as a container filled with things learned, things hoped for, beliefs—some tested, some proven, many just accepted. People have claimed that the soul contains the essence of the person. All else is only flesh and bone. The ability to peer into a person’s soul, if possible, involves some knowledge of its structure and components and an understanding of how these parts work together. Humanity has been chasing this formula on many fronts throughout history. From Plato and Aristotle to Saul Kripke and Julia Kristeva, philosophers have searched and theorized in hope of understanding all things universal, natural, metaphysical, and mental. Psychology has sought to understand the mind’s mechanics, what, how, and why one thinks and behaves.

Theologians struggle with the concept of human existence. Where did we begin? Why are we here? Medical science, in particular neurology, looks at the brain’s structure and operation for its own perspective about understanding humans. Physicians and psychiatrists concentrate on identifying ailments and, most importantly, finding remedies for those ailments. Each of these disciplines adds to our knowledge of the particulars and complexities contained in a person’s mind. In all our discoveries, where does the soul reside? What does the soul consist of? While questions such as these remain largely speculative, researchers from each of these fields offer many trustworthy insights, ideas, and methods for better understanding the soul. In this light, we also hope to establish a common point of reference concerning the soul, the spirit, and the conscience for the purpose of this forthcoming conversation.

As you read this book, please keep in mind, perspectives vary extensively about the soul and the spirituality element. A person’s beliefs and belief systems are individual. Societies may hold common identities and rules establishing them as defined groups, but the individual inevitably puts his or her personal touch to each. Some apply their personal touch with broad strokes and some with small fine lines. Some apply group rules strictly while others apply them loosely. As a comical and yet realistic example, in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, there is a scene in which Elizabeth Swan (disguising her surname as Turner at that moment) demands, “Wait! You must take me to shore. According to the Code of the Order of the brethren—” Captain Barbossa then replies, “First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement, so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate’s code to apply, and you’re not. And thirdly, the code is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.”14

Here, we find three relevant points applicable to all individual interpretations of societal rules and our ability to use common definitions as you read this book. The first requires an agreed-upon rule. Is there a soul or not? The most common perspectives identify the soul as being the human part(s) that are not body parts nor chemical reactions nor neurotransmissions nor anything physical. The second point means you must be part of the group for the conversation and rules to apply. We will be discussing subjects that may not apply to everyone. If a comment or belief does not apply to you, feel free to skip over it, ignore it, or just not accept it. The third point, and possibly the most important, concerns interpretation and devotion to the rules. You may find a considerable amount of helpful information here. Use what works for you as you see fit and skip the rest. Whether we are trying to clarify definitions, establish rules, or generate laws, there is always room for debate. To one, the rules are laws. To the other, they may only be “guidelines,” as Captain Barbossa points out. This varying application of rules or opinions makes any group/society extremely dynamic and fluid. Adding clarity helps, but every situation, no matter how similar, will add its own level of uniqueness.

A person’s view on life, their personality, and their individuality all rest on their interpretation of the world around them and on the choices they make from the options given to them. People commonly share points of view to better understand the world and each other. In part, the basis of all human dialogue balances on being able to offer perspectives and ideas in return for agreement, confirmation, or correction. It may be said that conversation provides the substance by which societies are built. Without it, separation, distrust, fear of one another, and isolation would result. Considering these multiple views, we ask our readers to lend us their understanding and allow us some consideration of perspective as we continue through the subject of suicide. It will serve as good practice as you encounter those struggling with their challenge of continuing with life.

We hope all our readers, whether educated in the universities, the streets, the farm, or any combination thereof, would be able to understand and use this material to better their lives and the lives of others they encounter. More specifically, we will provide our readers with a “go pack” set of tools so they will be able to help in eliminating veteran and active military suicide. A large part of this pack requires an understanding of military culture and elements of the soul unique to members in the military. What makes them different? How can a nonmilitary person relate to their struggles? These are some of the questions addressed here. We also investigate the issue of orders and rules. Conflicting orders or rules can be extremely problematic. Rules, laws, ethics, and morals all play a part in maintaining order in society, a group, a military operation, and even thoughts in one’s mind. With so many directives and guides crashing into each other in a soldier’s mind, one can begin to imagine the stress developing, let alone the instantaneous changing internal and external environment that occurs when the shooting starts.

2

THE OATH AND POWER OF WORDS

Unfortunately, in today’s world we must be remindedthat the power of an oath derives from the fact thatin it we ask God to bear witness to the promises wemake with the implicit expectation that He will hold usaccountable because we honor them.

—James L. Buckley

Among my (Greg’s) earliest memories were my father’s speeches at the dinner table. My father used the quality time of our nightly dinner to impart, build, and establish his values to his children. One of those values was understanding the power of words. He taught us that a man who doesn’t keep his word is not a man at all. He made it clear that if we promised something to another individual, no matter what the cost, we were to keep that promise. To do otherwise was to engender the greatest shame not only to ourselves but also on our family. And it was one thing for us to bring shame to ourselves, but it was altogether another to tarnish the family name.

We learned to think before making a promise or a commitment. And he tested us almost every day as he laid out our chores both before and after school. The acceptance of those duties was essentially a promise from us to him, and if we failed to fulfill that commitment, our father considered it a broken promise that would be met with swift action at the end of a razor strap. This arrangement taught us that words have meaning and carry with them consequences. It also taught us that all words were not created equal.

He often talked about the different types of promises we would make throughout our lives, teaching us that often in life, promises are tested, and how we reacted to those tests determined what kind of a person we would become. He taught us that if we gave our word to another, that meant we first had considered its gravity and, therefore, had no excuse to back out. As I grew older, having this foundation allowed me to recognize the differing levels of words and the importance of knowing their weight. The promise to our future spouses, bosses, business partners, teachers, and friends were not just idle words. Our success in life was predicated upon the weight we gave to our commitments.

An oath is a set of words that, when spoken, are among the highest levels of commitment a person can make. Therefore, all government offices, from the president of the United States to the leadership of all three branches of government, are led by those who have taken an oath of office. The oath is more than a commitment to a person. It represents a commitment to the ideals that make a nation great and allow it to function in unison, as the Constitution intended. The solemnity of the moment when someone takes an oath underscores its value. Once the person swears the oath, there is no backing out. To do so is met with the greatest shame and dire consequences. This swearing-in commits the oath-taker to defend the Constitution of the United States. While the oath of office is different for a military officer, the result is the same: it fundamentally transforms those who take it. It’s more than a promise or a commitment. An oath binds the soul of those swearing it to a path in life and actions until the time for the enlistment or commission is over.

For the warfighter, the oath represents a beginning. When individuals take the oath of military service, those making this solemn promise knowingly give up certain freedoms and their safety, both in training and war. They knowingly place their families in a high-stress environment and follow that path to its conclusion. And their reward? A life of training, putting in long hours learning to be a warrior, and honing their skills through repetition. It is the ultimate life of discipline and duty. Warfighters become blended into one with those with whom they serve. They share everything all while giving up privacy, luxuries, and more. It is a life that not only requires the sacrifice of the oath-taker but also of their families, who must do without their warfighter’s presence for many months at a time. These families face the fears of knowing their loved ones are in combat zones around the world. They also face the fear of knowing full well that their loved one may receive the call to make the supreme sacrifice: giving up their lives in the defense of their country and its people.

Career

From our earliest years of life, most of us learn what we could be someday. Our parents dream for us as they see our talents grow and as we participate in sports, martial arts, dance, or drama, music, or mathematics. No good mom or dad would do anything less. Several months ago, our seven-year-old granddaughter, Marlea, came to me and asked if I could help her build a business. I hid my shock and pride and said, “Of course, baby.” So, I took out some paper and handed her a handful of colored pencils. Mistakenly, I then began to speak to her about being a veterinarian since she loves horses and other animals so much. She gave me a long considering look and then blurted out her plan to open a bakery specializing in themed cupcakes. Once again, I hid my shock and pride, and after an hour, we had ten pages of notes and pictures she drew of her unique cupcakes. She even had the bakery name, Marlea and Mia’s Cupcake Creations. (Mia is her best friend.) The interesting thing to me was that at such a young age, she had a dream, one I could crush with my opinion or bolster by my encouragement.

Many in life choose their career path based upon family tradition, financial incentives, the direction of school counselors, or the demands of the culture around them. This is what makes society work. We need politicians, doctors, lawmakers, lawyers, pastors, factory workers, artists, janitors, contractors, and construction workers. And each of these comes with challenges akin to the industry, but virtually all of them promise some certainty. Each of these comes with a job description that communicates what the employer expects and how the employee will be compensated.

But most jobs or careers don’t come with absolute certainty of danger. They don’t come with the assurance of difficult times in foreign countries and many months away from home and family. This is true only for a select group of people who choose a life that protects America’s freedom, its ideals, and its people. This choice promises physical, mental, emotional, and financial hardship. When considering a career, warfighters look beyond themselves and take up a life for others. I’m not speaking of social workers, preachers, or politicians. I am speaking of the soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and coastguardsmen who voluntarily step up and willingly say, “Here I am. Use me.”

A soldier’s fitness report determines a great deal. These fitness reports are like a credit report. They determine a person’s worthiness for progress. The problem comes when a soldier has issues mentally or emotionally that, if spoken, becomes a negative mark in the FITREP (fitness report). To avoid this negative mark, the soldier stays quiet and suffers in silence. The United States military is the best in the world at protecting its citizens and fighting our enemies. No nation can compete with the might of this nation. The problem comes when the war is over. It may be over in terms of fighting human enemies, but when that ends, a new war begins, and this one can be just as lethal as the previous war. There is no band of brothers in this one. No one to talk to or unwind with. Too often warriors fight this war alone, and this truism is underscored by what we see today in the massive loss of life in veteran suicides. Our inability to care for our warriors is the Achilles’ heel of our nation. Presently, we are losing this fight. We need to own this tragedy and take action now.

The Department of Veterans Affairs

Abraham Lincoln decreed that the US Department of Veterans Affairs was to “care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan.”15 Anyone who has dealt with the VA knows it’s a broken system. Even Bernie Sanders, with whom I staunchly disagree ninety-nine percent of the time, said, “While serious people can have legitimate differences about when our country should go to war, there should never be a debate whether we fulfill the promises made to the men and women who served this country in the military. As a nation, we have a moral obligation to provide the best quality care to those who have put their lives on the line to defend us.”16