True You E-Book

Susan Sohn

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 246

Beschreibung

Live your one life well. We pretend to lead picture-perfect lives. We post filtered images of our families smiling on a sunny beach, our protein shakes accenting our pre-workout selfies, and our freshly baked cookies cooling in our spotless kitchens. But we sit at home scrolling through Instagram feeling empty, lonely, and lost. After hundreds of honest conversations with women from around the world, Susan Sohn has come to understand the pressures twenty-first-century women feel to maintain glamorized portrayals of themselves. In True You, Susan shares insight from her interviews and personal experiences that encourage you to: - reject the lies that you're not enough and learn to walk in truth. - ignore the pressure to perform and know who you are in Christ. - stop masking loneliness and connect with other women.Once we allow ourselves to be seen, known, and loved—just as we are—we become free to be who God created us to be. Find the true you and lead a life of authenticity.

Leseprobe

I have known Susan Sohn for most of my adult life, and she has consistently thought out of the box and challenged paradigms. She’s kind and passionate, and I have no doubt the words in True You will impact a lot of people. Additionally, Susan helped me convince my wife to marry me. It’s cool to see her make the shift from matchmaking to author!

—CARL LENTZ, author of Own the Moment,pastor of Hillsong Church, New York City

Susan Sohn is someone who asks the deep, personal questions most of us are too afraid to ask. She has the ability to identify what is really going on when it comes to the things that hold us back from being our true selves or living a brave and flourishing life. Through conversations with hundreds of women from around the globe, Susan shares stories and research that peel back the lies layer by layer to reveal the truth at the core of our fears. In this book, as she does in life, Susan assures readers that they are not alone, and she provides practical steps to obtaining freedom and breakthrough.

—VICKIE REDDY, executive producer, The Justice Conference, USA

For years I had the extreme pleasure of sharing life and proximity with Susan Sohn and her family before their move to a new city and adventure. In working alongside her, I only knew a girl who was passionate about making a positive difference in this world. This book and labor of love is about value, worth, and authenticity and is full of compassion, inspiration, and insightful wisdom. I trust it will not only bless you but also those within your world of influence.

—BOBBIE HOUSTON, global co-senior pastor of Hillsong Church

After countless hours and hundreds of interviews with women all across the world, Susan has woven her own pain, heart, and story into the mix of True You to deliver a potent tapestry of light and shade and the powerful truth that we are more—more than enough because we have a God who is.

—SUSANNA BATEMAN, cofounder of Little Miracles Early Childhood Centres

True You is the call to action every woman needs to hear: Your time is now. You are more than enough. You don’t belong on the sidelines. Make a choice to gather with people who celebrate you, not tolerate you. Susan Sohn, through her compelling storytelling, genuinely gives us the courage to face the truth of our lives, to dig deep, and discover a rich inner life. True You is one of the most inspiring books I have ever read!

—WENDY SIMPSON OAM, FAICD, Australian Businesswoman’s Hallof Fame, director of World Vision Australia, founding chairmanof Springboard Enterprises Australia, and founder of TelstraAustralian Business Awards

In the pages of True You, you will find a soul sister and fast friend in Susan Sohn. Even though she and I live thousands of miles from one another, her heart, words, and life resonate so deeply with mine, and I’m sure they will with yours too. Love, truth, vulnerability, authenticity, beauty, and freedom echo from her life and spill out onto each page. You won’t be able to put this book down as you go on a genuine journey of discovery to find out that you are so much more than you’ve ever believed.

—ANDI ANDREW, author of She Is Free and Fake or Follower,cofounder of Liberty Church, New York City

In True You, Susan Sohn has gifted us with a truth-telling work that speaks to the heart of a woman’s identity and her story. It’s raw and honest yet tender and life-affirming. True You is for anyone who feels that she has lost sight of her true identity. Susan’s words will tell it to you straight and lovingly. And she’ll help you rediscover how to live courageously in total freedom.

—JO SAXTON, speaker, Lead Stories podcast host, author of The Dream of You

For twenty years I have known Susan Sohn as Mum. Although that role is important, there are infinite ways to describe her. To name a few, she is brave, strong, compassionate, wise, and loyal to her core. Not only do these characteristics shine through her life and very being, but they are also seen through her writing. Her book True You celebrates truth by speaking honestly about the pain and darkness that can sometimes be the human experience, and it highlights the beauty of strength and resilience—something I have watched her display throughout her life. For this reason, I am honored to be her daughter. Her book encourages others to shine light through darkness and learn to be compassionate, not only to others but also to themselves. From an early age I learned that Mum always has the time to listen, the door is always open, the kettle is on the boil, and there is always a seat at the table. It’s that very reason this book was written. The stories. The pain. The beauty. The life. All heard at our kitchen table, whether it be by the phone or in person. She always listens. I hope to be the same. Mum, as you step into your new role as author, stay brave, stay wise, stay compassionate, and keep listening. There are people with stories to tell and people who need to hear them.

—SOPHIA SOHN, daughter, student, life adventurer

Best friends are those with whom we can be ourselves with raw honesty. In her first book, True You, Susan Sohn offers this kind of friendship to all who will come with her on the journey. This is an intimate and authentic account in which Susan speaks from lived experience. We need to hear what she has to say. The pressure to outwardly appear to have the beautiful and perfect life can be as pervasive in the church as it is in the wider culture. When Susan identified and named this truth in her own life, she began a journey toward real freedom—the freedom we are offered in the quiet enjoyment of an honest relationship with Jesus. By sharing what she learned, Susan will help countless people who are living a lie and can’t see the way out. Be encouraged! Susan’s frank and helpful book points the way to real freedom.

—STEPHEN O’DOHERTY, Christian broadcaster, former New SouthWales Member of Parliament

Gritty, honest, and deeply personal, Susan Sohn in True You has masterfully woven the narratives of countless women and her own into a common thread—all challenging the lie that we are not enough. True You is no-holds-barred and stunningly intimate. It provides a profoundly spiritual approach to the human condition. It’s time to start the conversation and get real with one another.

—NICOLE PARTRIDGE, journalist, writer

Wow! What words can describe this book, True You? Authentic. Vulnerable. Brilliant. Transformative. Incredibly insightful. Through brave, fierce, and beautifully shared stories, Susan Sohn’s book is bound to help women interlock arms and walk each other forward on the path to freedom.

—CARLY THOMSON, writer, speaker, author of the Truth Seekers trilogy, carlythomson.com

In True You, Susan Sohn writes from a place of strength and experience. Her very nature and character are defined by resilience, strength, and loyalty. Susan writes with deep understanding, and through her storytelling, she graciously opens a window into the lives of women from around the world. These shared stories speak forth a confidence that we can all make it through whatever we are going through because we are more.

—KATHERINE GAGNE, sister and vice president of Junior Achievement, Saskatchewan, Canada

Some people walk into your life at exactly the right moment. Susan Sohn was one of these people. Her words have made me cry because they ring true and relevant. Her words make me laugh because they are real and pure joy. She is first and foremost a storyteller, as True You shows. And with this collective of women she has bravely bared her soul to, and vice versa, Susan heralds the beginning of a new era—when women are making loud noises without fear and paving their paths, regardless of the turmoil or pain behind them. Thank you, Susan, for your voice. And for your heart.

—CAITLIN ROBSON, media and communications studies graduate

Susan has always been a gatherer of stories and people. Reading this book is like sitting around the campfire with her: intimate, unguarded, and generous. In these pages, you’ll find yourself in the stories she shares and the resilience to live your truth like only you can. The contemplative practices Susan teaches will empower you to sort the lies from the truth on your own terms and find life in the middle of where you are right now. Susan is a brave and beautiful friend, and I’m so thankful for her book.

—LIZ MILANI, founder and writer at Pktfuel.com

Susan Sohn is the sort of friend who doesn’t bat an eyelid at confessions of stupidity, words spoken in anger, and dumb mistakes. She filmed me and laughed as I fell down a mountain in Bali, but she also attended an appointment with me that was urgently ordered by my doctor to rule out breast cancer. In short, she’s the real deal. I have loved walking with her on the road back to self that seems to open up in midlife and sharing tears and moments of clarity with her. I’m so proud of Susan’s vulnerable storytelling in True You. She is brave and offers her pain to the reader, so that we can find healing. Take a deep breath, know you’re not alone, and settle in for some time with a trusted girlfriend.

—JANE CARMODY, longtime friend and fan

I have the pleasure of calling Susan Sohn my friend, a title that she does not take lightly. She is one of those rare people today who, when she steps into your life, actually cares deeply for you. She is one of my dearest friends and has been there with me and our family in the good, the bad, and the ugly. She has encouraged me to take steps in my personal career that I didn’t think I was capable of taking. She has cried with me through tough parenting issues and laughed with me over life’s mishaps. Her determination to help those around her see their potential and then reach it is simply beautiful, as True You shows. I can’t wait to see what Susan’s next adventure will be as I’m sure she will take it on with grace and guts to achieve it.

—SUZANNE CROCKER, pastor of Hope United, Santa Monica, California

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

True You: Finding Beauty in Authenticity

Copyright © 2018 Susan J. Sohn

978-1-4245-5451-5 (softcover)

978-1-4245-5452-2 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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Cover design by Chris Garborg at garborgdesign.com

Typesetting by Kjell Garborg at garborgdesign.com

Printed in the United States of America

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To every woman who has ever liftedanother sister up when she’s fallen down,said, “Yes, you can,” when they said, “No, I can’t,”and carried them until they could walk.

CONTENTS

Foreword by Darlene Zschech

Before We Begin

Introduction

1If the Truth Sets You Free, Why Am I Stuck in Lies?

2The Spin Cycle

3Why Do I Feel Alone in a Hyper-Connected World?

4Your Pain Matters and Is Part of Your Healing

5Addicted

6Your Intrinsic Value

7Fear Is a Liar

8Resilience: Rise to Adversity

9Beauty from Ashes

10Sometimes It Just Has to Be Well with Your Soul

11Solitude and the Desert

12True You

Acknowledgments

About the Author

GetRealLive Retreat

FOREWORD

I am really proud of my friend, Susan Sohn. We bonded many years ago when she and Philip had taken the leap from her treasured daily life to attend Bible college on the other side of the world. Susan had the cutest little daughter, Sophia, on her hip, and a contagious love for life and people, which remains with her today. Our friendship has lasted the tests of time, missteps, differences, and distance. Here we are, all these years later, loving and respecting each other’s journeys and embracing the things that unite us rather than focusing on the things that have the power to divide.

True You is truly her. As one who has held faithful to her passion to gather others and help them give voice to their pain inside, she has done this with great respect and dignity. She is not writing as one who appeals to you as an expert, but as one who is doing the hard work of digging deep. And no matter what surfaces, she deals with it in the safety of God’s profound and abiding love.

The many people she interviewed to see this book come about with a robustness of truth is a true testament to the tenacity in which she has gone after this finished product and a true testament to the willingness she displays to tell real stories from real people—all to bring real help to as many people as she can.

So buckle up! True You is not a lighthearted read to tickle your senses, nor is it a piece that condemns any wandering and searching soul. But I think you will feel like you are sitting at Susan’s table, surrounded by really good food, having a laugh and maybe a cry, with all of it leading toward embracing your own free and rich soul while giving you tools to ask the real questions that need to be aired along the way.

So here’s to you, the reader: May there be greater days ahead—days rich with laughter, food, family, presence, and song, days in which you know who you are and whose you are, the true you. Oh, my friend, the journey is worth it. My greatest prayer is that every person on this journey of life will find their true worth in Christ and, through His love, find their purpose, freedom, and joy.

In the meantime, I would like to say well done, Suzie. I think you are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime.

Love,

Darlene Zschech

Wife and mum, friend and co-laborer, senior pastor of Hope UC

BEFORE WE BEGIN

Much of the writing of this book has taken place during a truly transformational journey that my husband and I have embarked on. It is based on Christian contemplative spirituality involving meditation and an experienced union with God.

Early on in our spiritual journey, due to what could only be termed as a miraculous change in our ourselves and our marriage, we decided to start a series of gatherings, firstly in our home, and then more in other places. We named this The Gathering Cloud. We meet to commune with God and to be community to one another.

We are made from love and for love. As we move toward God, He moves us toward becoming a kinder and more compassionate people. I would not be exaggerating to say that all my notions of my self-identity have been challenged and gently transformed from my very core being, connected to the ultimate reality: God.

The Gathering Cloud has two expressions now: We host monthly meetings in various homes, where we follow a contemplative liturgy of spiritual practices, sometimes outdoors around a roaring fire, and we host a weekly guided meditation group at our local studio.

At the end of each chapter of this book, there is a practice of Retreating congruent with the content of the chapter theme. Some of the practices are based on those we do at The Gathering Cloud. We hope they are as helpful for you as they are for us.

As part of my work, I run something called GetRealLive—an online, podcast, social media, and event community. We offer multi-day retreats where participants attend an immersive experience of food, fun, and deep inner work. Some of the stories and reflections in this book are from GetRealLive retreats.

INTRODUCTION

When I started this project, I was struggling. I was in my mid-forties, had a thousand things to do, and time was zipping by. Chaos was the ruling theme of my life, and I knew I was not alone.

Having lived in a few different places in the world and being a generally social type who is always up for a deep and meaningful conversation, I started noticing the “chatter” on Facebook and Instagram. I don’t mean the polished top-5-percent-of-life highlights, but the messages in the dark of night that showed me many of the women in my world were struggling too.

I started to open up to others and share my truth over coffee, glasses of wine, phone conversations, text messages, and social media. The more real I was, the more real everyone else was. It was like we gave permission to each other to be vulnerable.

Curiosity started to arise in me. What if I asked hundreds of women around the world of all stripes and colors about their life, their stories, and their struggles to see if there were experiences common to all of us. As someone who interviews people on a regular basis, I decided to embark on a one-year journey of speaking with women to find our collective truth in our individual narratives. I put out a post on social media inviting women to schedule a thirty-minute Skype conversation with me, in anonymity, where I would ask them a series of questions and let the conversations flow freely from there.

Hundreds of women responded.

Their stories are what have made it possible for me to write this book. This writing coincided with a deep spiritual journey of inner transformation that has changed so many things about my life, my marriage, and my family. It has changed the place from which I live and the way I love. It has transformed my sense of self and worth, for which I am so grateful. You will read much of my story in these pages.

Woven into the fabric of this book are the stories of brave and courageous women, in addition to my own stories and reflections. There are also some practices that have helped me, which I hope will help you too, as we navigate this life of ours that we share in this time and space.

And as we begin, I would like to say this: You are more. You are more than enough.

A Brief Hello

My husband, Philip, and I were living in Australia when we started having children. Our young family was growing, and I realized that with the birth of each child came more and more questions from my friends. I found this strange considering Philip and I were raising children in a country where we had no family support and surviving on the help of the very friends who continued to ask questions. They would ask me things like, “Why are you disciplining the way you do? How do you know to talk to your children like that? Why does it look like you’re having fun parenting?”

I quickly realized that there was a disconnect somewhere. Why weren’t our friends asking their parents or siblings about how to raise children? Why were we, a young couple who really had no idea what we were doing, being asked all these questions? After much thought and conversation, I discovered that the disconnect was within families, and it wasn’t specific to Australia. My friends didn’t feel quite enough when it came to parenting, and they didn’t feel they could ask their parents about it, or maybe they didn’t have confidence in their answers. Obviously, they saw something different in the way Philip and I were going about our newfound roles as parents, so the questions rolled in.

This led me to start an organization in 2001 called thefamilyroom. Through thefamilyroom, we hosted live events to gather the community and celebrate family together. We brought businesses together to support women. We worked against the disconnect that was so evident by connecting people.

Then, in the early 2000s, Google started using keywords and phrases, which allowed early adopters of blogging the opportunity to connect in a more in-depth way with others who were seeking the same answers. So whilst I was experiencing the pain of cracked nipples, sleepless nights, hours of soothing croup, declined intimacy with my husband, and increased irritability for both of us, somehow in those hours, my life as a blogger was birthed—all in response to the disconnect I had observed.

In 2005, my first articles were published through a website we had created. It was exciting. I wrote about the great things that were happening in my life as I was raising kids, keeping a marriage together, working, and trying to juggle everything. I also told the truth about the terrible and painful days.

Contrasting my style of blogging, conversations about women being “superwomen” were floating about during this time, and everyone was seemingly buying into this awful story of “we can do and have it all.” Meanwhile, at home they were crumbling under the pressure of having to have and do it all and look beautiful in the process—the perfect body, the home that could rival the cover of any interior design magazine, and the well-behaved children. And this was before Instagram! Just thinking about superwomen exhausted and frustrated me. It was a culture that bred the message: You aren’t enough, and you never will be.

That message added meaning to the dialog I was having with women through my blog. It set a context for when I blogged about the good days, the downright awful days, the stuff that was stressing me out, the times when I felt like a success as a parent, and then the times that I felt like an absolute failure and totally missed it. Now, fast-forward through twenty years of parenting, and there are still times when I feel like a complete failure, and I continue to write about it.

My Message to You

One of these times came almost two years ago while I was sitting at my daughter Sophia’s high school graduation ceremony. I recall watching her walk down the aisle of the gymnasium. She was poised and beautiful. My mind quickly flashed back to the first day I drove her to prep school all those years ago. Perched in her booster seat with her lunch box clenched in her hand, a look of excitement covering what I could tell was a touch of four-year-old angst, we made our way through the streets to Discovery House, where she would spend the next few years learning and exploring. It was the beginning of her independence. This, her graduation day, was another huge step toward independence.

Although I could talk about all her successes and all her accomplishments, as I watched her, what flooded my mind in that moment was an overwhelming sense of being alone. It wasn’t the memories of the successes and all the things I had done right or the moments that have been fantastic that stood out to me. Instead, I looked at my failures, and the times that I didn’t make it.

Why is it that as twenty-first-century women who have walked through so many challenges and risen from them we still go to that dark place in our minds? Why do we dwell on what we consider to be our failures? Having heard from women all over the world for the last twenty years, I can guess with great confidence that you, like most women, struggle with this same challenge, at least from time to time.

If this is something you have ever dealt with in your life, please hear my message to you today: I want you to know that you matter. I see you, I know you, and I’m with you. You aren’t a mistake, and you aren’t an embarrassment. You are beautiful—even your lumpy bits, your bony bits, your fragile bits, and your crazy bits. You are a carrier of light, and you are simply amazing.

This is where I want to start. I want you to know from the beginning that you are magnificent, and you are seen. You are these things because this is how God made you, and God never changed his mind about you. Your story matters, and your journey through life thus far—perhaps challenging, disappointing, and painful, and perhaps seasoned with joy, laughter, and friendship—all matters.

I’m sure you, like me, have had times when you have roared, times when you have bled, and times when you have shed tears that no one has seen. You aren’t alone; we’ve all been there. I wholeheartedly believe that within each one of us there is greatness, and through some of the messiest and most challenging times, there is gold. There is beauty to be restored, and some that is yet to be seen.

I also believe that as a clan and more so as part of our humanity, it is incumbent upon all of us to look and see the beauty that we all possess. We need to recognize the dignity we have in being created in God’s image—the thing that connects us to each other, to the planet, and most importantly to God—our Creator, and the Creator of the universe.

Maybe for you, God is the one in this list to whom you feel least connected, or to whom you want to be least connected. I can only tell you that it’s through my connection to God that I’ve come to understand that my connectedness to everything else is greater than I ever imagined.

After taking time to journey inward and making a conscious decision to quiet my heart, mind, and soul, I have found that our connectedness is deep and rich, where the distraction of my very self is diminished. I’m so grateful I responded to the call from within urging me to quiet myself, so I could hear. Connectedness is made real through the hundreds of hours of conversations I had with women across the globe—stories of lives lived, and truths shared; stories that tie us to one another, stories that change the way we see one another, which translates into the way we treat each other.

As you begin to read this, may I boldly suggest that together we let go and let God. Let’s open ourselves up for a deep work that is rich and transformational. We need to give ourselves and others the freedom and permission to simply be—be us, undressed and naked, yet turned to the light, no longer afraid of our pain, no longer hiding in the shadows of shame and guilt but prepared to share our truth, so that others may also find the strength to be who they are meant to be. Through our truth, may we be a light that leads others to live in freedom.

I wholeheartedly believe that although life can feel hard, life in itself is beautiful. The struggles and challenges in life can be difficult, but when we take all that away, and life stands alone, it’s simply beautiful—beautiful because it’s life, bursting with color and experiences waiting for us, adventures to be had, and fullness that God desires for us—more than we can imagine.

Showing up is sometimes the hardest part of this. It takes courage to show up. You may be sliding into home plate frayed, confused, and dazed, or maybe you glided across first, second, and third base with bra straps in place and hair and nails on point. Whatever your case may be, I think of the words crafted by Brené Brown in her “Manifesto of The Brave and the Brokenhearted,” where she says, “Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted.”1

Those words resonate with me. I feel like the brave and the brokenhearted. I feel like a woman who has shown up regardless of circumstance or situation. I have hiked up my big girl panties and danced (sometimes stumbled) through life—because when the truth is out, and when you see God with you, you can walk through anything.

YOU ARE MORE

You are more. More than your thoughts, emotions.

More than your hopes and dreams

More than your work and position

More than the passage of time in your body

More than your failures and shortcomings

More than your accomplishments and possessions