Virtual Negotiation E-Book

Jutta Portner

• Herausgeber: GABAL Verlag
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Serie: Dein Erfolg
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 320

Beschreibung

Mastering the Next Online Negotiation with Confidence! Negotiating online presents its own set of challenges. You find yourself speaking into black holes when the other party hasn't turned on their camera, receiving no feedback on facial expressions. Does the other party even understand your proposal? Is anyone even listening? And if so, who? Or perhaps the connection doesn't even establish, or it drops out midway. Even for experienced negotiators, this new mode of negotiation is fraught with uncertainties. We haven't yet developed sufficient expertise in remote negotiation. But did you know that major corporations are already closing billion-dollar deals via platforms like MS Teams & Co.? Online negotiations will continue to be part of our future, as they save resources such as travel time and expenses. Learn how to adapt your negotiation skills to remote settings, how to handle interruptions like emails, calls, video, and audio disruptions that disrupt the flow of negotiation. Gain sovereignty in the face of adverse circumstances and make this new core competency your own. The book by negotiation expert Jutta Portner is aimed at anyone who no longer negotiates solely face-to-face. Become a virtual negotiation pro!

Leseprobe

Jutta Portner

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION

An Optimal Approach to Online Negotiations

A note on gender-inclusive language: It is up to the respective authors to decide in which form all genders are addressed.

Copyright © 2024 by GABAL Verlag; Jutta Portner, C-TO-BE. THE COACHING COMPANY, Muensing, Germany

First published under the title “Virtuell verhandeln. Online-Verhandlungen optimal führen” in 2023 by GABAL Verlag, Germany.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the written permission of the publisher. For information contact GABAL Verlag.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibilities for them.

Bibliographic information published by the Deutsche Nationalbibliothek

The Deutsche Nationalbibliothek lists this publication in the Deutsche Nationalbibliografie; detailed bibliographic data are available in the Internet at https://dnb.dnb.de.

ISBN (print): 978-3-96739-220-3

ISBN (epdf): 978-3-96740-447-0

ISBN (epub): 978-3-96740-448-7

Translation: Brandon Axley, Defiance, MO, USA

Editorial services by Anja Hilgarth, Herzogenaurach

Typesetting and layout: ZeroSoft, Timisoara

Cover design by Martin Zech Design, Bremen | www.martinzech.de

Photography © Lars Ternes, Zentralstudio e.U., Wien

Contents

A Word from the Author

How this Book Is Structured

Online Negotiation: Is It Even Possible?

CHAPTER 1. Why Negotiating Online Is Different than in the Offline World

We are exhausted: Too many stimuli, all at the same time

We get distracted: Another incoming email here, another phone call there

We are constantly online: There’s barely any time to catch our breath

We get lost in the complexity and disengage

We are suspicious: Who is reading along? Who is listening in?

CHAPTER 2. What Does Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Have to Do with Online Negotiations?

Physiological needs: To hear well. To see well … and much more

Safety needs: So much to discuss. So much technology … HELP!

Social needs: Team spirit? Online? More lone wolves than ever

Esteem needs: Notice me … please!

Self-actualization: Activate and encourage a desire to create

CHAPTER 3. Well-Equipped from the Start – Successful Preparation for Online Negotiations

Tip #1: Decide first! Auction or negotiation? Virtual or in person?

Tip #2: The new way to prepare for a negotiation: Close to the negotiation process

Tip #3: Less is more: Limit the number of participants

Tip #4: The shorter the better: Limit the number of sessions

Tip #5: Time to focus: Actively plan breaks

Tip #6: Safety first! Minimize security risks

CHAPTER 4. So Close and Yet So Far – Communication in Remote Negotiations

Tip #7: Getting in touch – Keeping in touch

Tip #8: Making small talk online

Tip #9: Establishing the rules of communication

Tip #10: Summarizing. Summarizing. Summarizing!

Tip #11: Ensure internal team communication

Tip #12: Have the courage to also show your emotions virtually

CHAPTER 5. Making the Most of It – Overcoming Limitations in Body Language

Tip #13: Don’t speak into the void: Turn your camera on

Tip #14: Focus on you, the negotiator! Being in front of the camera

Tip #15: Spot on! The right light

Tip #16: Boost your online impact through good virtual body language

Tip #17: The tone sets the tune: Your voice on the microphone

CHAPTER 6. Yes, It’s Possible!

Exerting Influence in Virtual Negotiations

Tip #18: Develop the suitable dramaturgy

Tip #19: If you want to cooperate and seek a win-win situation

Tip #20: If you want to win and work with tricks

Tip #21: When difficulties arise online

CHAPTER 7. Never Lose Sight of the Big Picture – The Fundamental Rules of Virtual Negotiation

Tip #22: Leading right from the start: Utilize the first-mover advantage

Tip #23: Know your technology

Tip #24: Miro, Mural, Conceptboard: Use collaborative tools to visualize key content

Tip #25: Lighten the load: Make use of co-facilitation

Conclusion – Virtual negotiation isn’t worse. It’s different.

THANKS

APPENDIX

About the Author

Endnotes

Image credits

Bibliography

A Word from the Author

Dear virtual negotiators, dear readers,

The pandemic has thrust us into the realm of digitalization, resulting in many of our everyday interactions no longer taking place face-to-face. Negotiations have not been immune to this, as they have been increasingly conducted virtually and continue to be today: conversations with your boss, your customer, even in private with your parents, within your circle of friends, with a craftsperson, or a service provider. Negotiations are a complex issue, with many parties involved and difficult topics, all of which are to be dealt with… from a computer? Let me reassure you: Such a situation presents both challenges and benefits. Many negotiators have already gained initial experience in this area in recent years. It works well most of the time, until it doesn’t. What is the most important thing you need to achieve virtual negotiation success? Describe it in one word or with a brief phrase! In recent months, I have asked participants in my virtual negotiation training courses this same question. Here is what they said:

Active listening. Alternatives. Appreciation. Argument culture. Attention. Bandwidth. BATNA. Being muted. Beyond reason. Camera. Clarity. Clear goals. Coffee. Cohesion. Computer. Commitment. Confident leaders. Cooperation. Courage. Credibility. Culture. Culture of dispute. Depth. Dialogue. Direct contact. Directions. Discipline. Drive. Empathy. Exchange. Experience. Experimentation. Expressiveness. Eye-tracking software. Feedback. Fire. Flexibility. Focus. Fruitful results. Fun. Game. Getting past No. Getting to Yes. Gleam in the eyes. Hard work. Honesty. Inclusion. Information. Intensity. Interests. Joy. Laptop. Laughter. Leadership. Listening. Meeting links. Microphone. Motivation. Negotiation process. Objections. Objective criteria. Online platform. Opening. Openness. Passion for success. Peculiarities. Persistence. Praise. Questions. Rapport. Reflection. Respect. Ring light. Rules. Sincerity. Sustainability. Sharepoint. Small talk. Softbox. Spirit. Strategies. Summarizing. Surprises. Teamwork. Team spirit. Tension. Thumbnails. Time. Togetherness. Trust. Understanding. Value. Will to change. Whiteboard. Will. WI-FI. Working together to achieve a goal. Zoom Fatigue.

If you want to know what exactly is behind all these exciting terms and how you can negotiate better virtually in your next workshop, family meeting, or client consultation, take a few hours of your spare time to read this book. That’s all you need to do.

I wish you lots of enjoyment and insightful “aha!” moments.

Jutta Portner & the team at C-TO-BE. THE COACHING COMPANY

How this Book is Structured

This book consists of seven chapters divided into different practical tips. The first chapter, “Why Negotiating Online is Different than in the Offline World,” highlights the differences between face-to-face and online negotiation and addresses concerns about this new and untested way of negotiating. The second chapter, “What Does Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Have to Do with Online Negotiations?” employs this very model, which many of you are familiar with from motivational psychology, to understand what needs exist among virtual negotiators and how you can meet them. Chapter 3, “Well-Equipped from the Start,” shows you how to successfully prepare for a virtual negotiation. “So Close and Yet So Far” is the title of the fourth chapter. Even in the online world, we cannot negotiate without contact and communication, and yet both function differently within the virtual space. Many of us know just how uncomfortable it is to speak into the void and not receive acknowledgement for our words or opinions. The fifth chapter, “Making the Most of It,” gives you tips on how to overcome the limitations of body language. Even though we may be just inhabiting a little thumbnail on the other party’s screen, we can still have a professional impact. In Chapter 6 “Yes, It’s Possible! Exerting Influence in Virtual Negotiations,” you will learn how best to proceed virtually, depending on whether you want to negotiate cooperatively or competitively. We also explore the challenges that can arise in remote negotiations and how you, as a negotiator, can best handle them. The final chapter, “Never Lose Sight of the Big Picture,” demonstrates the importance of utilizing the first-mover advantage and leading right from the start. Only in this way will you retain control in your virtual negotiation. The terms remote, virtual, and online are used interchangeably in connection with negotiations.

The following stylistic devices will hopefully make the reading enjoyable:

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. TIP

In total, this book provides you with 25 tips on the most important topics related to virtual negotiation that have been comprehensively researched and prepared just for you.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. KNOWLEDGE

You can never know too much. Take your time and find inspiration. Immerse yourself in uncharted territory. Here you will find some initial suggestions should you wish to delve further into individual topics. Every deep dive has a beginning.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. QR

Looking for a YouTube video on how to choose the best microphone? Here’s one that was tested for you by experienced professionals. Or what about a clip on the use of a concept board in virtual negotiations? A link to an expert has been selected for you. It is no coincidence that QR stands for “quick response.” All you need to do is scan the QR code and you will be automatically redirected to quickly find all the information you need in a neatly organized format.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. INTERVIEW

Behind C-TO-BE. THE COACHING COMPANY is a great team. Our experts share their knowledge on a variety of topics in short interviews. You can expect recommendations from a business actor, a yoga instructor, and two negotiation experts. We also interviewed an expert on the topic of deception in negotiations as well as an experienced virtual negotiator from a large German company.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. THINKING TIME

Knowing the theory is all well and good. It is much more important to check whether the recommendations will also help you to succeed in the virtual space. Self-reflection is the key to change – and the big difference between experience and expertise. Only those who take the time to assess themselves will improve and become true virtual negotiation professionals. At the end of each chapter, you will have time to do so.

Short and sweet or in-depth? In this book, you can quickly find brief, clear-cut recommendations under the heading VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE. If you would like to delve deeper into the expertise, you will every now and then have the chance under VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. READING MATERIAL.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

“Best practices” are recommended practices, as well as methods for success or models of success that are used in the corporate world. They could also be termed recipes for success. Many strategies, tactics, and tools are equally effective when negotiating in person and online, yet there are always differences. This is exactly what you will find summarized under VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE, often following an initial discussion of general negotiation theory.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. READING MATERIAL

For those eager to dive deeper, I offer valuable recommendations for additional reading that will help you uncover a greater understanding of the broader context. I provide insights that unearth your curiosity, motivating you to explore further. And from time to time, I share captivating gems that leave us all in surprising awe.

Online Negotiation: Is It Even Possible?

Negotiations have been taking place since the dawn of mankind. Ancient Germanic peoples undertook weeks-long marches to attend assemblies and make decisions on important matters. Marco Polo traveled along the Silk Road all the way to China in the 13th century to meet with business partners. And today, gamescom in Cologne is the largest trade fair for consumer electronics, where not only online games are presented, but licenses are also negotiated with partners from all over the world. Of course, this takes place in person, on location, and over coffee or a Kölsch beer – despite the astronomical hotel prices. For millennia, we have met face-to-face whenever it came to important negotiations. Couriers, letters, phone calls, and, more recently, emails or Skype calls have mostly been mere decorative touches to personal business meetings.

And then came the pandemic, when our world changed overnight. We were catapulted into the digital world, with all its yet uncharted rules and regulations. Today, it is impossible to imagine our everyday lives without online negotiations, which will continue to play a key role in the future even if we can and may meet again in person. Negotiating online, however, is a challenge for many people. Even brilliant negotiation professionals despair that their decades of experience in videoconferencing are not yielding the success they are used to. In online negotiation, things simply work differently, feel different, and no one really has much expertise yet.

Trust and dependability are indispensable elements of successful offline negotiation. To establish these prerequisites, negotiation partners meet over a cup of coffee, sit down at the negotiating table together, engage in discussions as equals, and seal their agreement with a handshake. Afterwards, the guests are invited to dinner together and toast to their success. None of this is possible with online negotiations. Instead of business lunches in fancy business attire and with sophisticated conversation, our personal lives are now inevitably spilling over into negotiations from our home office. Is your little son waving at the camera? Is your cat waltzing through the picture in search of affection? That’s nothing to worry about at all. In fact, it’s the opposite: It’s something quite special, as a touch of real-life amidst all the professionalism makes us more human and fosters a sense of closeness. The kind of closeness that we can certainly use in holding negotiations based in trust. In the wake of the pandemic, communicating via screen in the corporate world has actually become a habit. We have now become quite good at holding team meetings virtually. Most negotiations today are also conducted via video call, but there is often still a lack of professionalism and levity. When there’s a lot at stake, online negotiations present less obvious challenges as well as technical ones:

We are overextended: Negotiators are bombarded with numerous stimuli all at once. We are unfocused: Another incoming email here, another phone call there. We are constantly online and forget to take enough breaks. We are insecure: Who is reading along? Who is listening in? We talk very little or all at the same time. The virtual context makes communication and exerting influence more cumbersome.

Even for experienced negotiators, these kinds of negotiations are fraught with uncertainty. We have not yet cultivated sufficient expertise in remote negotiation. The Quadriga Hochschule in Berlin, in collaboration with the C4 Center for Negotiation, conducted a cross-industry survey of 185 companies in which negotiators were asked about their experiences in digital negotiation.

Here are a few select findings from the survey:

■

For 75 percent of the surveyed companies, the proportion of digital negotiations before the pandemic was only 25 percent or less.

■

During the pandemic, however, nearly 75 percent of respondents conducted 75 to 100 percent of all negotiations exclusively in a digital format.

■

More than 70 percent consider digital negotiation to be significantly more challenging than face-to-face negotiation.

■

Only 7 percent find digital negotiation less challenging.

■

In about half of the companies, negotiation teams were trained and/or further qualified for face-to-face negotiations.

■

Only 23 percent were trained and/or further qualified for digital negotiations.

■

Almost 85 percent of respondents perceive the lack of personal contact as the greatest disadvantage of digital negotiation.

■

For over 80 percent, the inability to read their counterpart’s body language well is a limitation in digital negotiation.

■

61 percent find it very difficult to establish a level of trust in digital negotiations.

■

More than a third see the multitude of misunderstandings as a major obstacle in digital negotiation.

■

Overall, over 62 percent prefer face-to-face negotiation to any other form of negotiation. Only 20 percent of respondents prefer digital negotiations with online meeting systems. Telephone negotiation is the preferred form for just under 8 percent of participants.

1

In “Virtual Negotiation. An Optimal Approach to Online Negotiations” you will learn how to overcome these challenges. It is well worth it, as online negotiation is here to stay. It’s the new way of negotiating that is not only promising in its own unique way but also conserves resources: Travel times are reduced, and the time gained can be used more efficiently. Travel costs are avoided and the budget saved can be used elsewhere. Only those who familiarize themselves with the Best Practice tips will become virtual negotiation professionals.

Three reasons why it’s worth reading this book and becoming an expert in virtual negotiation:

Virtual negotiation is new. Negotiators still have limited expertise and are insecure. Reduce your insecurities through knowledge and become a pioneer in this field.

Virtual negotiation has become a critical part of our everyday business practices. Invest in this skill and adopt a positive attitude.

Best Practice tips are clearly structured, developed by professionals for professionals, and easy for you to apply.

Before we dive deeper, let’s first clarify a few basic terms: Is every conversation, every discussion, or every meeting automatically a negotiation?

What is a negotiation? A short definition

In the traditional sense, we talk about “negotiating” when individuals/parties have different interests and communicate with each other to reach an agreement.

This always requires four conditions:

■

Mutual interdependence

■

A conflict of interests

■

An approximately equal balance of power

■

Reaching an agreement is seen as the goal of the negotiation

Even though, of course, there can be conflicts of interest in private contexts and ideally a desire for agreement, in this book, I primarily focus on the professional context of a negotiation: when we are negotiating with service providers about the next order, tendering a pitch, or setting a price for our products and services. But negotiations also take place in business development with potential partners, or, as a leader, you might mediate a team conflict.

CHAPTER1. Why Negotiating Online Is Different than in the Offline World

Many virtual negotiators report a great deal of exhaustion. Participating in several virtual meetings throughout the day means sitting at a desk for hours on end. In the evening, your back hurts, your neck and throat are tense, your eyes burn, and your head is empty. This phenomenon can be observed all over the world and even has a name: Zoom Fatigue. Of course, Zoom Fatigue also occurs in MS Teams, Google Meet, Webex, and Skype for Business. And the symptoms are always the same. Working remotely for long periods of time is tiring and stressful. However, there is a lot riding on the results that are achieved in business meetings. And of course, better results are achieved when virtual negotiators are not drained and depleted. Let’s take a closer look at what exactly the stressors are and how virtual negotiators can deal with them professionally without falling victim to Zoom Fatigue.

We are exhausted: Too many stimuli, all at the same time

Who hasn’t experienced total overload before? Too many windows are open, too many tasks popping up, too many things to do, and then your technology breaks down. One minute it was working and now suddenly nothing works. There’s no use in clicking or restarting. The technology has gone on strike. By the time we finally get the problem under control, sometimes without knowing exactly how we did it, the meeting has long since begun. We stutter through an apology and are stressed even before we start negotiating.

The more negotiators participating in a session, the more thumbnails we see on our screen. Since the order of display is based on the sequence of log-ins, our own team’s thumbnails are mixed with the other party’s negotiating team. At first glance, it’s not possible to make a clear distinction of the negotiating parties.

We don’t even know where to turn our attention first: We’ve got the camera on, while the other person has their camera off. At the same time, we often work with multiple electronic devices. We’re using a second monitor to simultaneously communicate with our colleagues via WhatsApp. Desperation can easily set in at that point. In order to maintain control and get off successfully despite a potentially bumpy start, we have to put a stop to excessive demands. But how?

It is important to first reassure yourself: A little stress won’t hurt and is even normal. It pushes negotiators, making them feel activated, strong, and focused. Being challenged is helpful in moving a negotiation forward. But when we reach the breaking point, then disorientation takes the helm, and overwhelm (notice the last four letters of that word) becomes too much. We conduct an internal assessment of how much strength, energy, and attention we have. We compare this to the current demands. When we then subjectively feel that we’re no longer up to the task and lack sufficient resources to cope, we become overwhelmed, and our body reacts. We become increasingly nervous, jittery, and simultaneously become aware of our behavior. This can contribute to a spiral of stress. The more stressed our body is, the worse we are at handling complex cognitive processes. Stress serves as an alarm function. The release of cortisol and adrenaline has always prepared us for fight or flight. However, running away or attacking doesn’t help us at our desks, and thoughts like “I can’t handle this” or “The negotiation is going to fail before it even begins” are not helpful. The more stressed negotiators are, the less focused they are, and the fewer creative problem-solving ideas they come up with. Therefore, it is an absolute necessity to get out of this stressed state as quickly as possible and act constructively rather than demeaning. So, what can online negotiators do?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

Accept that it’s just the way it is and quickly snap out of the stress pattern you find yourself in. Whether it’s sudden heavy fatigue, a mental block, or frantic actions like clicking wildly, online negotiators must first remove themselves from the situation in which they feel trapped. Turn the camera off, take three deep breaths, glance out the window, take a sip of water – the key is to do something else briefly. And very briefly! Why? Because there’s no time for anything longer when your negotiation partners are already online. But even small actions already give the brain a sense of self-efficacy, which we’ll delve into in detail later.

We get distracted: Another incoming email here, another phone call there

People are naturally curious beings. It’s only natural that we frequently tend to drift off. The surroundings of our negotiation partners are highly interesting. We try to decipher the titles in our colleague’s well-stocked bookshelf. We wave to the cute daughter of a supplier and wonder about the boss’s chubby cat that is walking through the frame. The visual stimuli in online negotiations are diverse. After every moment of distraction, our brain needs time and energy to refocus on the actual topic at hand and return to the original level of concentration. In self-management, this is referred to as the so-called “Saw Blade Effect.” In addition, we have underlying thoughts: Negotiators often simultaneously think about the future and the past, about possibilities and impossibilities, about tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and about yesterday and the day before yesterday.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

To prevent a nervous breakdown, anchor yourself in the here and now. Here is a mindfulness training exercise that can be used quickly and anywhere: Say out loud, “I’M HERE NOW.” While speaking, consciously focus on where you are at this moment and what you want to do now. Activate your senses and carry out a body scan, as it works wonders: Feel into your body, straighten up, and take deep breaths. Consciously smell something nearby, like an apple on the table or the coffee in front of you. “I’M HERE NOW” is a mantra. The more you repeat it, the more likely it is to become a routine that can effectively pull you out of the thought carousel and back into focused concentration.

We are constantly online: There’s barely any time to catch our breath

What do you do when you’re planning a long road trip? You start with a full tank, check the coolant, measure the tire pressure, and top up the windshield wiper fluid. You should approach video conferences in a similar way. It’s important to be fully present and energized. Face-to-face meetings provide us with breaks as we move between meeting rooms, allowing us to catch our breath. Even brief moments of disengagement allow for small mental breaks that refresh us. However, online, in the worst case, one meeting follows the next. One begins right on the hour, while the next one starts at the top of the next hour, and this cycle continues for several hours. Sometimes, there’s barely even a moment to grab another coffee or take a short restroom break between calls. How can we, in such a setting, bring certain topics to a conclusion, engage with new partners and their concerns, and make smart contributions in a focused way?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

Schedule a break BEFORE the online negotiation firmly in your calendar and perform the “I’m in good shape” check. Ask yourself: Have I had enough sleep? Do I need some fresh air? Am I in pain? Am I hungry and in need of a small snack? Or am I thirsty and should drink half a liter of water? Am I tense and do I need to move briefly? Do I need a power nap? In short, is everything okay with me?

We get lost in the complexity and disengage

There’s nothing to stop you from keeping several balls in the air. But keeping too many balls in the air is difficult for even the most experienced of jugglers. Trying to manage too many demanding topics during an online negotiation consumes a great deal of mental energy and often leads to us mentally disengaging much earlier than in faceto-face negotiations. Trying to manage too many mental tasks and operations simultaneously and in parallel is even more likely to fail online than in face-to-face negotiations. The myth that multitasking is a superpower still persists. But what should take priority among your many tasks?

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

Stop multitasking immediately: It’s time to sort, filter, and prioritize. Create a realistic agenda with buffer times. Don’t let others push an unrealistic agenda on you. This helps you not to get bogged down in complexity and lose sight of the big picture. This way, you can focus on what’s currently at hand. One radical exercise is to imagine the following: In ten minutes, there will be a complete power outage. What needs to happen now? What is the minimum level of agreement you want to achieve before the lights go out? There are certainly tasks that you can recognize as being of lower priority and you can even delegate. It’s best to take a piece of paper during your preparation and prioritize your topics into categories of HML (High/Medium/Low). What points can only and exclusively be negotiated by you? Which aspects do you not want to discuss in this online negotiation and will you postpone, and which might even be matters to which you can say no? Who can handle topics on your behalf? Take advantage of this opportunity. You are usually not the only person who can take on a task.

We are suspicious: Who is reading along? Who is listening in?

Instead of the three dimensions we have in face-to-face interactions, our perception of our conversation partners in online negotiations is reduced to just two dimensions. Intuitively interpreting body language, as we do in personal encounters, becomes much more challenging with “speaking-heads.” We can only speculate about what’s happening to the left and right, in front and behind the video thumbnail. If the background is blurred, we make guesses about where the other person is located: in a home office or on a workcation in another country? We may even wonder: Who’s listening in today? Who might have access to confidential data? A healthy level of suspicion causes many negotiators to be more cautious with information. This, in turn, automatically leads to a slower development of trust.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

Sometimes, there’s no quick fix. When we feel overwhelmed in online negotiations because our assumptions about the other party are taking up a significant portion of our attention, it’s often our inner beliefs that are to blame. In an online negotiation, we subjectively experience a high level of overwhelm. We feel stressed and entertain negative, stress-amplifying thoughts. However, there’s actually a difference between feeling overwhelmed and being overwhelmed. We often contribute to our own sense of overwhelm. As negotiators, we believe we must achieve flawless results and be perfect. We must be liked by everyone, so we can’t afford to disappoint, upset, or anger anyone. We must make anything possible. Often, we don’t even question our beliefs anymore but carry them with us as if they were foundational truths. Like lighthouses, these beliefs guide us in our daily lives, showing us the direction we are heading, yet sometimes leading us in the wrong one. We tend to align ourselves with deeply rooted inner convictions, as if that’s just how things are. However, there are times when it might be necessary to tackle the root causes rather than just treat the symptoms. Take a moment to question and examine your beliefs such as “Online negotiations are always difficult.” Or: “Good business relationships can only be built through face-to-face negotiations.” It’s natural to be somewhat skeptical when negotiating online. Deep-seated convictions aren’t easily shed. We often fall back into old patterns, especially when we are stressed. That’s why it’s crucial to stay vigilant and pause for reflection before, during, and after an online negotiation to make any necessary adjustments. A professional coach can also provide valuable support and empower online negotiators to initiate changes in their belief systems.

We prefer not to speak, or we all speak at the same time: The virtual context makes communication cumbersome

Who hasn’t experienced a long moment of silence? No one says anything, or only rudimentary contributions are exchanged online. Some participants in an online meeting remain as silent as a post. It’s uncomfortable. Extended pauses before someone eventually speaks require facilitators to endure the silence. Sometimes, they prefer to continue talking themselves.

The audio quality varies – sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Sometimes this involves latency delays, crackling headsets, or negotiators hearing their own voice in the background as an echo from the other party. Communication in the virtual realm is often more challenging than in the offline world. Coordinating people’s contributions is not easy either. In addition to the silence, there can also be a chaotic jumble of spoken remarks, with people chattering and rambling without pause. No one knows when the other party is finished, and multiple individuals speak simultaneously. This exhausting commotion can quickly fatigue the participants.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE

At the beginning of the call, actively address how you want to communicate during the online negotiation. Don’t worry, it has nothing to do with selfishness but helps everyone involved as the discussion progresses. If something goes wrong during the conversation, consciously point out where and how the communication could be improved at that moment. Otherwise, nothing will change. Sometimes, people are overwhelmed because negotiation partners do not realize that they can no longer keep up. And why is that? It’s because they keep nodding and smiling, not expressing what they really think, at most looking a bit desperate, hoping that the other party will interpret this expression correctly and realize what they need. But no one can read your mind or predict the future. So be sure to bring up any problems or concerns, and do it before it’s too late. It’s best to voice your thoughts when you’re still in a constructive mood, rather than waiting until you’re fed up, on the verge of exploding like a bomb, and on the brink of giving up. At that point, it’s clearly too late. Address the manner of communication in a friendly yet resolute manner. Remember the 1st principle of the Harvard Concept: Be gentle with the individual and firm on the issue.

Many thanks to Lisa Kohlrusch from PACTUM for providing ideas on the challenges in online negotiations. In her blog post 13 Tips for Negotiating Successfully, the process consultant and mediator already offered valuable recommendations during the pandemic.2

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. THINKING TIME

In Chapter 1, we looked at how video-conferencing negotiations are different compared to face-to-face negotiations. Take a few minutes and assess your personal attitude on a scale of 1 for “not at all” to 10 for “completely” for an initial inventory of your mindset:

I feel exhausted: so many stimuli, all at the same time

I get distracted: Another incoming email here, another phone call there

I am constantly online and barely have enough time to come up for air

I get lost in complexity and disengage

I am suspicious: Who is reading along? Who is listening in?

We prefer not to speak or we all speak at the same time: The virtual context makes communication cumbersome

Analyze the six questions for yourself and draw a personal conclusion. Answers with a higher score call for further reflection and action. How can you change your attitude? What people, information, or tools do you need to make a change? Are there perhaps processes that need to be reconsidered and changed as well?

CHAPTER2. What Does Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Have to Do with Online Negotiations?

Many of us are familiar with Maslow’s pyramid of needs under the popular term “Hierarchy of Needs.” US psychologist Abraham Maslow gained worldwide fame for his simplified depiction of human needs and their significance for motivation. His theory found its way into many other sciences. It is dealt with in economics, organizational psychology, and also in philosophy.

The idea behind the Hierarchy of Needs is based on the assumption that there are different types of needs that influence our satisfaction and, consequently, our behavior through various elements and effects. Maslow observed that some needs take precedence over others. Maslow does not consider it helpful to draw up specific rankings. However, needs can be roughly categorized into five major areas for general guidance. He starts with the basic ones, the physiological needs and the safety needs. These are followed by social (love needs) and individual needs (esteem needs) up to the highly developed human need for self-actualization. Based on this, Maslow explains that needs can either be satisfied or unsatisfied. Unsatisfied needs are called deficiency needs. As long as a need remains unsatisfied, it influences and triggers our actions in a way that we seek to fulfill it. With increasing satisfaction of a need, the urge to act to satisfy that need gradually diminishes. When our stomach is no longer growling, we no longer constantly think about food.

Let’s take a closer look at the significance of the five levels of needs in the context of virtual negotiation. We will first examine what each level of need generally entails, then assess what is different in virtual negotiations, and in the third step, we will give you recommendations and you will learn about tools that can make online negotiations more productive. First, let’s look at physiological needs:

Physiological needs: To hear well. To see well … and much more

Physiological needs are basic needs. They are necessary for the preservation of human life. Does the room in which we sit have a pleasant indoor climate? Negotiators don’t want to freeze or sweat. Hunger and thirst also need to be satisfied. A healthy breakfast and sufficient water at the workplace contribute significantly to being able to work in a concentrated manner. We need enough oxygen to breathe. Stale air decreases attentiveness, and well-ventilated rooms counteract this. The posture of our body also plays a big role in negotiating in front of the screen. Do I have an office chair that I can sit on comfortably for a long period of time? Is my posture straight, or does my back hurt? When negotiating virtually, can I clearly hear what is being said, or is there crackling and rustling in the background? Can I clearly see what is being presented, or have the thumbnails with the faces of the negotiating parties been shrunk to the size of postage stamps? Moreover, it’s extremely frustrating for negotiators that such a significant portion of their attention is eaten up by trying to cut through the clutter and decipher text on densely packed slides. Last but not least, the perception of the environment also plays a major role: Is someone’s 15-year-old son playing a computer game in the background and fighting with his gamer gang? Is someone’s neighbor next door getting their roof replaced accompanied by the constant sound of roof tiles being thrown into the dumpster? Is the colleague at the desk opposite you on the phone with her rather penetrating voice? It is not difficult to understand how great the influence of satisfied physiological needs is on one’s well-being. From the filled coffee pot to the opening of the window before the negotiation to the review of the presentation technology – up to now, these things have been the responsibility of the host. Now, it’s up to each and every virtual negotiator themselves.

Physiological needs in the digital space. What’s different?

Negotiators are no longer in the same room together. Everyone is sitting alone at work or in a home office. This means that each virtual negotiator is responsible for the provision of food and drinks as well as for a pleasant room atmosphere and a healthy working environment. The quality of what can be seen and heard also depends to a large extent on the technical solutions chosen. In addition, virtual negotiations do not encourage physical activity, meaning that the negotiator also assumes this responsibility as well.

VIRTUAL NEGOTIATION. BEST PRACTICE