What Horses Want E-Book

Gertrud Pysall

• Herausgeber: Narayana
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 441

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

This book is a revelation not just for horselovers but also for anyone who has ever felt inexplicably drawn to horses or riding. Gertrud Pysall has spent many years investigating the nature and behaviour of domesticated horses, how they deal with humans, and their reaction to life in the stable rather than in the wild. She gives her readers valuable advice on how to interact with horses in a harmonious and peaceful way. The difficulties in dealing with horses cannot be solved simply by loving them. This book creates awareness for the needs of horses. The horse is not made into a culprit: instead, the aim is to show the path to establishing respectful cooperation. This book describes for the first time the social rules of horses, including a vocabulary of around 130 horse “words” and 40 essential communication gestures for humans. When people learn to use these gestures, they become accepted by the horse as a social partner. It is this that creates the basis for the horse to decide to trust the person.

Leseprobe

If we want to do justice to the nature of horses,We need to leave them as they areAnd give them what they need.

Gertrud Pysall

Gertrud Pysall

What horses wantMotiva Training®

How to interact with horsesappropriately and intelligently

First English Edition 2015

ISBN 978-3-955820-80-0

First German Edition 2012

Second extended and updated German Edition 2013

ISBN 978-3-943309-40-9

Photographs p. 2 © Ulrike Henke

Cover image and other photographs © Gertrud Pysall and Isabell Schmitt-Egner

Translation: Antje Papenburg

Publisher:

Narayana Verlag GmbH, Blumenplatz 2, 79400 Kandern

Tel.: [phone]

E-Mail: [email protected]

www.narayana-verlag.de

© 2015, Narayana Verlag GmbH

All rights reserved.

No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages.

All trademarks and copyrighted items mentioned are the property of their respective owner (even if not designated).

While the author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties, merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

DEDICATION

Millions of people own horses, ride horses or simply like horses.This book is dedicated to those who are open to my ideas.And particularly to those who are inspired by this book to think,change their approach and consequentlyto improve their interactions with horses; in short, to those whounderstand me and my aims – and thus understand horses better.

I also would like to dedicate this book to my brother,Peter Lindemann, who took the time and spentan hour every week listening to me patiently.He was there when I needed help and was a greatsupport in writing this book.

Table of Contents

Copyright

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

I. THEORY

1.  The Horse in Human Hands

     1.1  Horses As Partners

     1.2  Horses As Friends

     1.3  Horses As Vassals

     1.4  Horses As Status Symbols

     1.5  Horses As Therapists

     1.6  Horses As Students

2.  Humans As Teachers Of Horses

     2.1  The Horse in Education and Training

     2.2  The Horse and Punishment

     2.3  The Horse and Praise

II. PRACTICAL APPLICATION

3.  Motiva Training

     3.1  Origin and Research

     3.2  Introduction

     3.3  What is Motiva Training?

     3.4  Psychological Considerations Regarding Motiva Training

4.  Communication System

     4.1  The Rules

     4.2  Expressions

4.2.1  Equine Expressions

4.2.2  Human Expressions

     4.3  Examples of Statements/Signals During the Course of Communication

5.  My Training Methods

     5.1  Critical Examination of Self- Perception

     5.2  Recognising Our Own Motives

     5.3  Conflict Recognition and Options for Peaceful Conflict Resolution

     5.4  Training Body Movements and Sense of Space

     5.5  Training Aids and Tools

6.  Motiva Experiences With Horses

     6.1  Human and Horse

     6.2  Horses with Other Horses

     6.3  Case Studies

Final Thoughts

Acknowledgements

References

About the Author

Index

Copyright

Foreword

Many years ago, on a sunny autumn day, a seemingly never-ending train ride took my family and me from Bavaria to a village of just 300 inhabitants on the edge of the Eifel Region. After we arrived, I found myself standing in the yard of our new home. While the movers brought our belongings into the house, I let my eyes roam over the neighbouring meadows and fields. Suddenly, a horse appeared on the other side of the wire mesh fence – beautiful, large, dark brown with a black mane and tail and a small white dot on his forehead. He gave me a friendly look. I was just nine years old, and until that moment I had never had a memorable encounter with a horse, but just then I lost my heart to “Alex.” At the same time I was scared of him, as he seemed so huge and strong. Still, I dared to stroke his warm, wet nose and was overcome by an indescribable sense of happiness. Alex started pawing the ground with his front foot and his hoof got caught in the wire mesh. As he was unable to free himself, I plucked up the courage to bend down and, with great effort, removed his big hoof from the wire mesh. At that moment I realised what I wanted to be when I grew up: a veterinarian! Unfazed by the hustle and bustle going on around me, I ran to my parents and informed them in a very serious tone of my ambition. They were the first, but not the last, to give me a belittling smile, but they stood corrected when I actually started my degree in veterinary medicine ten years later.

Such are the far reaching consequences of the magical encounter between human and horse!

Like countless other young girls, I tried to spend the majority of my spare time in the presence of horses. I avoided riding schools and stables, however, and dedicated my time to grooming and looking after “my” ponies and horses. These were privately owned and the owners allowed me to look after them. Owning a horse myself was out of the question anyway.

I have always resented how horses were usually kept and how they were treated. I felt that in many, if not most cases, something vital was missing: a true understanding of the horse as a living creature and his needs. Often, a horse was treated like a commodity which could be exchanged at any time. If he did not “perform” correctly, he was disciplined, frequently quite ruthlessly.

The established training methods seemed more than questionable to me, and Horst Stern’s (Remarks About Horses) encouraged me to give up riding entirely.

Years later, when the first “horse whisperer” appeared on the scene like a shining star, I began to be hopeful, but a certain discomfort remained. After reading this book by Gertrud Pysall, I now know why: many so-called “horse whisperers” clearly have not learned how to communicate with horses, to interact with them using only gestures and vocabulary from the equine communication system, even if they try to give this impression.

What Horses Want by Gertrud Pysall will inspire everyone who feels a connection with horses. If you are open, curious, and maybe even willing to critically examine your own behaviour, this book will open up a unique, exciting and previously undiscovered world, where it is possible for human and horse to interact harmoniously and where the horse is shown the understanding, respect and love this beautiful creature deserves!

With this in mind, I hope that Gertrud Pysall’s book will be widely distributed and will lead to a paradigm shift in the equestrian world.

Shiela Mukerjee-Guzik, DVM

Preface

I have been fascinated by horses from early childhood. I found them more captivating than any other animals. I watched every episode of Fury on TV and dreamed of a very close friendship and relationship with a horse. I had the unforgettable experience of sitting on the back of a pony, while being led twice around a family friend’s backyard. Going round once did not take much longer than a minute, but I will never forget it. It was heaven on earth, the epitome of joy – two rounds on a pony in a concrete yard. From then on, this indescribable feeling became my personal benchmark for happiness. Many years later, in the Eifel Region, I experienced something similar when I was allowed to ride through the village on a very broad draught horse without a saddle. I did not have any riding skills, just sat blissfully astride the animal. He just trotted along nicely, carrying me to his stable. (I did not realise at the time that this was not a safe thing to do, but I would not have cared anyway.) These two experiences formed my own image of horse riding and the relationship between humans and horses. In the 1950s, horse riding was an upper class privilege, and I decided to take riding lessons with the first money I would earn.

This is exactly what I did in 1969 in an equestrian centre in Idar-Oberstein. The typical groundwork lessons, that I used to look forward to immensely, were followed by riding lessons on school horses. And this was where disillusionment started to set in. I saw how unhappy these horses were. They attempted to bite and to kick; there were warning signs next to the boxes, telling us which horse we were not supposed to touch. I witnessed a couple of falls – my own and those of my fellow students – because riding instructors whipped the horses to encourage them to speed up.

The riding lessons were bad and so was the atmosphere. The post-lesson drinks seemed more important than anything else. Students and horses were shouted at. I could not learn anything under these circumstances and started to be more scared of riding, rather than feeling elated. When I changed jobs, I also changed equestrian centres. Full of hope, I started afresh, only to experience the same conditions and principles. I tried out one riding school in my neighbourhood after another but could never find what I was looking for: a respectful and dignified interaction between humans and horses. An interaction that would enable me to re-experience the feelings I could remember so well.

The only ray of hope was a private horse riding and holiday farm in Oberstaufen. At Schlippe Farm I was allowed to ride privately owned horses. It was not an “equestrian factory” and the Schlippe family treated the horses and me with love and respect. My hopes were restored and I spent all my holidays and days off at the stables – and learned how to ride.

Later on, I spent a few years living in Berlin. Riding was almost impossible there, and my dream of owning a horse in the countryside became stronger and stronger. I moved to the countryside, bought a horse from a holiday farm and imagined my dream had come true. Far from it. The horse was difficult and I did not know enough (I was a reasonably good rider, but that was it).

I built a large stall for the mare I called Hella. I thoroughly mucked out the stall every day, led her onto a field, provided her with a companion in the form of my friend Gunda’s horse, groomed her meticulously and gave her lots of cuddles. But she did not put her trust in me, not in the way I had imagined. For example, she never wanted to hack out with me and that made me think. If nothing I did was enough or I was not doing the right thing, what should I be doing? I wanted to know what horses want, what horses need to be happy and content. I was searching for the conditions that would allow me to experience with a horse what was anchored in my imagination: a deep sense of trust, harmonious mutual understanding, closeness that could be established and maintained without fear, stress or pain for either party. I had already felt it, I knew it was possible and I really wanted to find this feeling again.

I tried to find as much information as possible. I read scientific journals, talked to riders, horse breeders, vets, and met Manfred Pysall who was running “Hunsrücker riding workshops” and who is now my husband. He was equally frustrated by the conventional treatment of horses he had been taught as a riding instructor. He was also looking for a different direction. We held many attitudes and desires in common. Eventually we opened up our own riding school in a small place called Ellenberg near Birkenfeld. During the 1990s, as part of the “Hunsrücker riding workshops”, we ran some weekly courses, such as “Horse riding without fear or stress” and “Learning to ride horses – but differently”. Four years later, the facilities in Ellenberg had become too small for us, and we moved to our current riding school, here in Spenge. Here we have an indoor and an outdoor arena, boarding stables and enough space for 70 horses and ponies including a large paddock and plenty of fields. We have been established here since 1994. All through the years, while we were developing the riding school, lessons and courses, I held on to this memory of feeling perfectly in tune with a horse. I knew, I could find it again, and the secret had to do with horses’ needs. I wanted to find out

    WHAT HORSES WANT!

Introduction

What horses want or, phrased as a question: what do horses want? became my guiding principle for interacting with them. Previously, when I lived in Ellenberg, I used to observe our little herd of twelve animals often and very closely in order to discover the secret of what their needs really were. I wanted to understand their personal needs and how these are expressed in the herd, if and how these needs change over the course of the seasons and when new members join and old ones leave the herd.

Through intensive observation, numerous video recordings and studying these recordings in slow motion, I discovered the subtle signals horses give each other, which were repeated so many times that I recognised a pattern. This was activity, this was information. I began to understand. I had never read about this in any of my numerous books on horses. Others apparently had little or no knowledge of this information. After moving to Spenge I had even more opportunities to carry on with my research. Over time, we owned six herds of various compositions, 70 animals in total. This really improved the conditions for my research. I was able to film naturally occurring situations at all times as well as setting the stage for studying certain constellations. I analysed and catalogued these observations in uncounted hours.

In order to use my knowledge for the benefit of horses and to impart it to other people, I developed a method called Motiva, which was patented in Munich in 1996.

I became aware that horse herds are characterised by a very complex language and highly developed social behaviour which also includes a set hierarchy. Every horse knows his place in the hierarchy and this gives him security and certainty.

 

  What is Motiva?

A society of horses is based on the interactions of individual animals. For this community to work, social rules are necessary. They guide interactions in the herd. Basically, they are very simple and robust rules that have been passed on and have stood the test of time. They can be expressed and enforced using the equine communication system. Both unilateral and reciprocal rights and obligations are passed down from older to younger herd members. Within the society of horses, it is hardly possible to ignore the authority of the lead animals. This authority establishes a natural order in the herd and ensures continuance of the social rules and of the entire herd, as well as the development of a sense of belonging.

Motiva teaches precisely these rules and relationships. It comprises knowledge about the social rules as such, as well as the highly developed modes of expression that horses use to convey, enforce and monitor these rules. Not only does Motiva teach humans to understand over 130 expressions of horses, but also how to use these expressions to speak with them. Motiva also trains people to recognise and resolve conflicts in a non-violent manner and to communicate effectively.

When we talk about “communicating with horses”, we must recognise that “understanding” is an integral part of “communication.” We need to gain a deep understanding of their nature, their social rules and rituals, their instinctive behaviour, their fears and decisions, their ways of life. The ability to speak and understand their language, informed by this complete body of knowledge, leads to the answer to our question: what horses want. And this clearly is the insight:

    THEY WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

 

      Info

        Motiva comprises knowledge about the social rules as such, as well as the highly developed modes of expression that horses use to convey, enforce and monitor these rules.

EQUINE EXPRESSIONS

  When interacting with humans, horses always communicate. They cannot “not” communicate.

        First tentative contact with a human

        “I will guard you while you rest.”

        Blowing softly into the nostrils as a sign of mutual friendship

        Nuzzling as a gesture of friendship

        The horse is blowing quietly to express contentment

        Invitation for mutual scratching using his lips

        Yawning as an appeasement gesture: “I do not want to invade your space”

        Yawning is repeated to reinforce the previous statement

        Checking for pheromones

        Once more easing the situation by yawning

        Shaking head, indicating that he does not want to offend the human (higher rank).

 

      Info

        Motiva teaches people to understand and communicate using over 130 equine expressions.

I. THEORY

1.  THE HORSE IN HUMAN HANDS

1. The Horse in Human Hands

When Manfred Pysall and I first came to our farm in North Rhine-Westphalia (NRW), we found it to be an ordinary equestrian centre with the type of customers we were familiar with from our past professional experience. Western riders mixed and competed with English riders. After a settling-in period during which we observed the horse owners and riders, we established some new rules. One of these rules was that on our farm, horses must not be beaten. We also prohibited certain methods which are used to train horses by inflicting pain. Before long, some people were looking for a different riding centre where they could continue to train using the methods they were accustomed to.

Over the course of time, I was able to observe a very interesting phenomenon. It happens all the time: new people come to the farm and are struck by the atmosphere, the peace and quiet, the happy horses; they describe it as being in an oasis. It is very healthy for them not to experience fear and aggression when interacting with horses and to learn that there is no need for it at all. Our horses, trained in a very different way, are easy to ride, are very content and radiate calm and trust. Almost everyone enjoys this.

However, as soon as these people realise that the rejection of traditional training methods also means they have to reflect upon their thoughts and actions, to improve and to retrain, some of them decide to switch stables. Even though they are fascinated by our philosophy, they are not always able to overcome their inner obstacles, a process which requires critical self-examination and sometimes changes in attitudes and behaviour. It is much easier to think that only the horse has to learn and change - not the human.

 

Freya

THE SECRET OF HONESTY

In Germany, horses became popular as a hobby or as a luxury commodity from the 1950s onwards. As riding or owning horses became more affordable, the number of horse owners and riders increased. The different characteristics and traits of horses have not changed, however, even though the human requirements have. Horses are now no longer livestock, but may substitute for a partner or a child or a cuddly toy. They can be status symbols or compensate for other deficiencies in the lives of humans. Any of the roles humans assign to horses fundamentally benefit the former. A horse represents something to humans, something they are looking for or believe they need. If they do not find it among their own kind, they use the horse as a substitute and lo and behold, it works. Horses can give us a lot emotionally. That is why they are, you could say, the ideal therapist in difficult times. They are always there, big and strong, they love us, carry us and wait for us; they are reliable.

This is okay so long as the horse is not used as a whipping boy to compensate for a bad mood.

Obviously, if you choose riding as a hobby or as a recreational activity, all you want to do is relax on the horse; you are not primarily concerned with making the horse happy and content.

In our riding school we encounter people who are searching for this experience. They just want to spend a relaxing evening in the saddle, or perhaps their ideal start to the weekend consists of an anxiety-free riding lesson with a reliable horse on a Saturday morning. We accommodate the demands of these people and still try to meet the horse’s needs. It is rather stressful for a school horse to change riders frequently. The horse cannot establish a stable relationship with every rider, because these riders only come sporadically and are not really interested in a close relationship with a horse.

Horses are unfamiliar with anything like this because they live in a herd. There is continuity in a herd. Unless a member dies or a young stallion leaves, herd members usually stay together. The horses know each other, come to terms with each other, establish a dominance hierarchy and live together in emotional security. Nobody dares give orders if their social position does not authorise them to do so. Consequently, this is what horses instinctively expect of a herd, even if they are domesticated.

Naturally, school horses are trained to reduce their expectations.

But deep inside they harbour the desire for closeness and to sort out dominance according to herd rules. Regardless of whether a horse is living in the wild or is domesticated, he will have these needs and attempt to fulfil them somehow. School horses, also, try to find out immediately who they are dealing with. They touch their rider or rub against him or her. If a horse is allowed to do that, he concludes that he should take on the role of the leader, which he obligingly does. He decides whether and how to walk along with this human.

The horse does not just observe external behaviour as an indicator for who is calling the shots, he can also sense the attitudes of the riding customers. This can act as a basis for the horse’s own behaviour.

Even though our school horses are very well-behaved and are able to deal with scared and insecure riding students and carry them dutifully around the arena, they have not given up their longing for honest interaction. If you pay attention to horse-rider pairs, you can almost daily observe how the horses act according to their nature and try to make appropriate decisions. I would like to illustrate this with an example, an incident that occurred last autumn.

We have a mare called Freya, self-confident, 16 hands high and about 10 years old. She knows the social rules of horses very well and lives in a mare herd with 13 members. She came to us as a straggler a couple of years earlier. A woman had bought her and had then been unable to keep her due to a change in personal circumstances. The mare was used to living as a privately owned horse, but has accommodated herself to life as a school horse. However, she still has the need for honest interaction and expects to be treated with respect. Further on in this book you can see her in the photo series where I perform a stop and she does a haunch turn. Freya is astute, sensitive, and likes cuddles, but she is also a self-confident animal and very perceptive of human psychological processes.

This is what happened on the aforementioned autumn day:

It was a Saturday morning and an adult riding student wanted to get this horse ready for a ride.

As the student was new to our school and Freya was standing with her herd-mates, a friendly horse owner said to her:

“You probably want your horse; I’ll get her and lead her through this door.”

The woman replied: “Yes, madam is just standing in the corner of the pasture.”

I just happened to be in the stable aisle and heard the conversation that ensued:

“You call Freya madam?”

“Yes, sure.”

“What do you mean by that and why do you call her that?”

“Because that is what she is.”

“How do you determine this and what makes someone a madam in your eyes?”

“Because that is what she is like; the way she looks at me. And she has a mind of her own.”

“Well, who doesn’t have a mind of their own? What do you actually mean?”

“I am just saying that she has her own mind and that is a good thing, as far as I am concerned. She should do what she wants.”

“But in the riding lesson, if she turns left and you want her to turn right, you won’t think that. In that situation you will want her to do whatever you want, won’t you?”

“No, I always think it is a positive trait if someone knows what they want. I like it if someone has their own mind, children, too.” By now she was leading Freya to the grooming area to brush and saddle her and get her ready for the riding lesson. Approximately 10 minutes later I passed them again. The woman looked at me strangely and seemed unsure, so I asked her in a friendly manner:

“How are you doing now, have you thought about what I said?”

“I was annoyed by it.”

“I just wanted to say that I have heard people call someone madam before. It usually is some sort of negative judgment; mothers who call their daughters madam normally link this with a reprimand. Often just the word with a particular intonation is enough and children know what they did was wrong. Words are not hollow, they reflect our attitude to situations and this is why I wanted to call this to your attention, so you could think about it, nothing else.”

“To me, ‘madam’ just has positive connotations; I don’t mean it the way you suggested.”

“I can only tell you how I feel about it, but if you mean something else by it, Freya will know that. Horses can sense it; they can read our attitude irrespective of the words we utter. I know Freya well, and I wanted to give you a tip about how you can get the horse to bond with you and how you can unconsciously create difficulties for establishing a relationship. But if you mean it in such a positive way as you claim, Freya will sense that. Anyway it is totally irrelevant what I think, because you will be riding her now.”

I walked away, as I had a couple of things to do and the riding lesson was about to start. A few minutes later, another woman, who had groomed Freya together with this customer, came to me and said:

“Mrs Pysall, what should we do? Freya won’t enter the arena. We can’t get her to move. She’s just standing there.”

They had finished grooming and saddling the horse and wanted to go into the indoor riding arena with her. But she had evidently understood something and what I had feared happened. Freya could sense the woman’s attitude and refused to walk another inch with her. The woman had tried to pull the horse and to lead her in a circle and then go through. Nothing worked, Freya stood there as if she was glued to the ground.

I explained: “This is what I meant.”

Freya was led into the arena by someone else, with whom she walked without reservations.

After the riding lesson I ran into this woman again and asked her how she was doing, whether she now understood what I told her and whether she was coming back. She told me that yes, of course, she was here to learn and something like this would not throw her. She would be back next Saturday.

Her statement, that to her “madam” had positive connotations and was meant as a compliment, had been debunked by the horse. Now it was time to examine her own attitude. Nothing bad had happened. But it was a chance to reflect: what do I really mean by “madam”? That was it, and it was actually quite exciting, for this woman too, to catch a glimpse into the mind of a horse, to have a learning experience like that in an ordinary situation. The following Tuesday she called me and quit the course, she never came back. She had not been able to bring herself to examine what was below the surface of her comment; she did not realise what horses can sense and how helpful those kinds of reflections can be.

I know that there is never a bad intention behind such a term. Those terms are merely ill-considered, but they reflect attitudes nonetheless. They can be a trap when interacting with a horse. Horses have a very good nose for sensing attitudes. This impacts their relationship with us. In this case, well-intentioned advice could have helped this woman, not just with regard to her riding skills.

Horses can sense our attitude towards them. Often people do not notice how the horse deals with this. Especially if you are a beginner and still have a lot to learn, a little bit of humility goes a long way.

If the horse does not turn the corner and you say: “He doesn’t want to do it!” you learn a lot less than if you say: “I don’t know how to do it.”

If you look for the mistake in the riding aid, in other words, in you, it is correctable. Riding is sign language and it takes a long while before you can claim that you no longer make mistakes and miscommunicate.

Even though admitting these mistakes can lead to psychological stress, it is still the best way for truly effective learning to take place.

A six year old boy was playing by the pond prior to his riding lesson. His father called him over and asked him to help groom the pony. The boy did not take any notice and kept on playing. His father walked over to him, took his arm and said: “Over here, my friend, do as you’re told.” The child absolutely understood that he had gone too far; he moaned about it but came along because the father was stronger. In terms of educating the boy, this was very firm and the right thing to do. But why did he call his son friend in this context?

The boy clearly recognised the word, he had heard it before. From a very young age he learned that friend can mean both, friend and... well – and what? Someone who makes mistakes? Surely, nobody spends a lot of time thinking about it, the boy just knows at some point who a friend is and who is not. He will learn it eventually. I would just like to point out, this is how we are. We say things we do not actually mean. Why?

Two mothers are having a chat before a riding lesson in the presence of their children. One of them complains: “What Justin did today... I could positively kill him!” In this case it is good that she does not mean what she says. However this is what humans do very often but horses never do. And as this is a well-established habit in the human realm, we feel at liberty to say things like this and worse. The listener needs to sort those statements into right and wrong. Horses cannot and do not do this. They do not understand human language, but they read the attitude behind it. Of course you could say, horses just have to deal with it. They are merely animals and I do not want to be bothered with something like this during recreational activities and I do not want to worry about having to watch what I say. Or you could examine your communication, and try to investigate why you choose to express yourself in this manner. What lies beneath the surface, are there better and more sensible ways to relax during recreational activities? This is a decision everyone has to make for themselves. But where horses are concerned, it would certainly be beneficial for them if equestrians could be more conscious of communication and relationship with the horse. After all, one reason why we like horses so much is because they are the way they are. They should enable us to relax, be there for us and often even act as therapists. Consequently, we want them to be astute and sensitive and show support and understanding when we use them and need them to feel better or reduce our stress levels.

As they are very empathetic, horses can be used as “diagnosticians” if their responses are taken seriously. I could cite numerous examples I have seen myself or experienced with other people.

        Freya

 

  Honesty

When maintaining a relationship with a horse, it is very helpful to stay fair and put the responsibility for unaccomplished tasks in the right place. Horses do not expect us to be without any flaws. But they do prefer to have a just and fair person on their backs, one who does not reprimand them for something that is the person’s own fault.

In my many years as a riding instructor, I have frequently experienced how willingly horses participate and how much effort they make to comply with the rider’s wishes, just as long as the rider is fair enough to look for the mistake in the riding aid instead of in the horse in general. This basic honesty, admitting that you are not yet able to do something, is the best guarantee for learning and improving.

Honesty is not just helpful when interacting with horses, but also with humans. This is equally difficult, because we habitually say things we don’t mean and use words that are designed to blur what we really mean.

        Gertrud Pysall and Mette

 

Mette

Over 20 years ago, a very quiet young man took part in the workshop “Living Consciously - Riding Spiritedly”. He rode during the lessons, but at lunch he hardly ever ate anything. After two days I asked him if he didn’t like the food or if he wasn’t feeling well. He said he did like the food but was unable to swallow properly, because ever since puberty he had had a “lump” in his throat, a tightness that was very uncomfortable and made it difficult for him to consume normal, solid food. His father, himself a physician, had had him tested by all sorts of medical specialists and at all kinds of clinics over the last six years but nobody could help him. They just could not find any medical cause. The treatments only targeted the symptoms and did not help. He could not answer my question about whether something had happened back then that could be linked to the “lump.” As he had paid for the course but could not really take part in all activities, I offered him a look behind the scenes, if he was interested. He was. I had had very good experience with my Knabstrupper mare Mette as a “diagnostician” helping people with psychological problems. I encouraged the young man to sit on Mette without a saddle and then lie down on her as far as possible by lowering himself down onto her neck. He found a comfortable position. He closed his eyes and I led Mette – and him, lying on her back – in silence.

After some time had passed, I started asking him about events that happened at the time in question. At times, I left space for silence, feeling and reflecting upon the emotions he had felt during that time. After a while, the young man started to weep.

He had realised that he was studying medicine in order to take over his father’s clinic, simply to comply with his father’s wishes. He had to ignore his own heart’s desire, to study sports, because his father had asked that of him. He sobbed loudly and for a very long time – it was heartbreaking. Mette carried him calmly. She made a recurring noise that sounded like she was exhaling slowly, haltingly and rhythmically. She always did this, if she could sense that the person on her back had problems, that they metaphorically could not get any air.

After what felt like an eternity, Mette’s neck wet from tears, the sobbing stopped and the young student calmed down. I silently kept leading Mette around the arena. After reflecting on the situation, the man sat up, dried his face with his sleeve, paused for a moment and then exclaimed: “The lump is gone, I can get air, I can breathe!”

He could not believe it after years of feeling choked. His throat had felt so tight and now, for the first time, it felt normal again, with room for air. We talked about it for a little while, as he led Mette, hugged her and thanked her again and again. Even a psychosomatic clinic had not been able to help him, but at this moment he had found the solution. He knew what he had to do and wanted to do. He was going to talk to his father, he was going to study sports, he was going to convince him that he had to make these changes to improve his life. Until then, he had not been conscious of what this wrong turn in his life had meant and that he needed to talk about it. This physical blockage had shown him what was psychologically unhealthy for him. Only by establishing this intimate contact with Mette and being carried by her, had he been able to find access to his inner self, to cry and let this epiphany guide him to make an important decision.

On that day, he really enjoyed his lunch; he was happy and deeply impressed by Mette, who helped him simply by being a horse, by being just like horses are, and who enabled him to express his real feelings. He felt the need to spend the whole afternoon with her, brought her carefully picked dandelion leaves from fresh spring meadows and talked to her.

He quit the seminar the next day, drove home, talked to his father and started studying sports. Sometime later, he called us again, to tell us he was doing very well. The lump did not show up again; he was cured. A woman taking part in Motiva Training wanted to send a horse away but could not manage to do it, even though this was a school horse and very easy to handle. The woman and the horse just could not agree with one another. I asked her whether she also found it difficult to defend herself in real life and if she would let just anybody limit her space like that. From experience, I have seen that horses mirror what they sense. My suspicion proved correct. The woman recognised her own domestic situation and behaviour. For a long time she had been feeling very uncomfortable in her relationship, but had not defended herself and just remained helpless. The workshop helped her get to know herself better. This in turn led to her separating from her partner. Soon after, she met the love of her life and is now happily married to him. Without this realisation, her story would have turned out very differently.

I could fill many pages with true stories I have experienced in my equestrian and personal life. What I want to point out here is an essential principle: horses are honest and direct. They notice if someone is not what they pretend to be.

However, it is typically human to do exactly this: pretend. We are raised to be like this; we are polite, diplomatic, do not want to tread on anyone’s toes, and we do not want to reveal our real feelings. We believe this is good manners. Our culture and education teaches us this and it becomes apparent every day in ordinary situations if you pay attention.

If you are tired, you are not supposed to yawn in front of company, because it is impolite. Nevertheless you are simply tired. You have to find a way to camouflage this, so you will not offend anyone. You may well wonder why anyone would be offended just because you are tired. It is complete rubbish, because your hosts are not to blame. It does not concern them, but nevertheless they take it personally. The hosts assume that we are bored, even though they are trying their best to entertain us. If we could be just like horses, we would be allowed to yawn and possibly say “I’m very tired, I didn’t sleep well last night.” The hosts would not have a problem with that because they would understand that our tiredness has nothing to do with them. Furthermore, they would believe you, because horses call a spade a spade. Everything they say is true. Lying is impossible.

It is different in the human world. As hosts, we place high demands on ourselves to be entertaining and take the blame for someone else’s tiredness. For this reason, tired guests cannot allow themselves to yawn, in case they upset or offend the host. The host might not believe that an expression of tiredness really has nothing to do with the quality of the party.

This short example shows that our daily life is full of these and similar situations, where we are considerate, polite, reserved and thus dishonest. In the company of humans you can act like this, we are all used to it and can deal with it. In fact, we would not be able to cope if this were to change from one day to the next and everyone would, like horses, ruthlessly start saying what they thought. Our social life would simply explode.

Let us go back to the beginning. How was that again, with the term madam? What would have happened if this woman, who hardly knew the mare, had understood why she had the need to call her that? She could have discovered her underlying attitude and any prejudices she brought to the relationship.

She could have also found out the reason for this attitude. Then she might have been able to see the mare from a different perspective, one that shed light on Freya to reveal her as she really was: a very well-behaved school horse, willing to do everything she is supposed to, as long as the aids given are correct and consistent and she understands what is meant.

My instructions during riding lessons are often nothing more than to make sure the aids are correct and consistent so that the horse understands what he is supposed to do. From a horse’s perspective, it is always pointless to walk around a “room” (riding arena); to bend, to move, to make an effort, without getting food or anything else that is necessary for survival in return. From the animal’s point of view, it is wasted energy. If he is walking around a room in response to human commands, he does not care whether he turns left or right, goes fast or slow, or crosses the centreline, because everything is equally pointless. He does it for the human and as a response to the aids that he translates like a language. He has no impulse to do anything else. Why would he? There is no benefit in being contrary and horses in nature never do anything to deliberately annoy each other. They are not capable of it. There is no benefit for the survival of the species and it goes against their instincts. Horses, therefore, do not intentionally annoy humans. They are not cranky, as we can be at times.

Horses will disobey

•     if it hurts

•     if they do not understand what they are supposed to do

•     if they are scared of the consequences and believe they carry the responsibility for the decision

•     if they had a bad experience and have learned from it

•     if they think something else is more important or better

•     if they are ill

•     if their respect for others prohibits it

... to mention just a few reasons humans should think about when a horse disobeys. Life would be better for horses if we could spare them just a little bit of the understanding and sympathy we have for cats.

As we are capable of feeling sympathy towards animals, showing patience for their otherness, for being “just animals,” why shouldn’t we give this patience and sympathy to horses, too?

And if, our awareness grows of how different humans and horses are; and if we are willing to examine these differences, recognising how our actions are determined by our own past experiences, we can begin to treat horses fairly and interact with them in the way they so keenly desire and deserve: as honest and true friends, with the best intentions for understanding them, making an effort to comprehend their world. We would learn to act ever more confidently in this world. We would do this for their sake and to enhance our mutual friendship.

 

  Horses Mirror What They Sense

I very often experience situations in which horses feel human’s psychological blockages. This also occurs in Motiva Training. Here, people cannot pretend to be something they are not. If they are aggressive, scared, insecure, arrogant, disrespectful, it cannot be hidden from the horses. They read people’s feelings and then show what they think of them. They do so using equine expressions. If you understand equine language, it is not difficult to translate the expressions for the human interacting with the horse. The person can – if they want to – get a very astute diagnosis of their own innermost feelings.

 

  Sympathy

A society of horses could not live with our behaviour. But if we want to connect with these animals and maintain relationships with them, it becomes difficult for both of us to cross this barrier. Horses do not understand these diplomatic gambits, they just sense when we are annoyed or scared. We cannot pretend with them.

It is even worse if the hidden feelings are not due to the above-mentioned social conventions, politeness or feelings of insecurity, but due to rage and aggression. If a horse is turned into a whipping boy, just because the human wants to let off steam, the horse does not stand a chance.

Punishment is considered a legitimate expression of aggression. Horses often suffer from this. They get punished for something that is not their fault, for behaviour they do not understand, for “being the way they are”, for their language.

Horses step on our toes and invade our space because this is their way of life. If you talk to cat people or cat owners, they jokingly call themselves the “tin opener.” They enthusiastically describe how confident their cat is, how he makes his presence known, what he does not tolerate and who is not allowed to stroke him. The cat has developed an image that suits him just fine. He gets love and care, is allowed to misbehave and be demanding, earns a proud smile from his owner if he behaves like a cat typically does or gets on their nerves until he has his way. “Dogs have masters, cats have staff” is the amusing saying.

Many cartoons make fun of what cats are like and how they train their owners.

It is very different when it comes to horses. They do not get the same kind of sympathy for their nature. They are no less special than cats, they are also animals, their nature also distinguishes them from us humans. But people are impatient with this, punish it hard and un-train it. With cats, however, they often brush it off with a “you cannot train them” and people are content with that.

Horses can be trained, and they make every possible effort to support the human/horse relationship. They really try; they learn human language as far as possible, tolerate us if they do not understand us, carry us around, even if we are too heavy for them, they just do it. They try to please us because they are very much interested in a friendship with humans.

When they were born, we gave them a promise – whether we were aware of it or not – by being present during the crucial stage of imprinting. Accordingly we humans have claimed that we belong to the horse’s life, that we are to be taken seriously as a social partner. This promise must be kept.

 

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        Horses can be trained; they make every possible effort to support the human/horse relationship. They really try; they learn human language as far as possible, tolerate us even if they do not understand us and carry us around, even if we are too heavy for them.

 

  The Nature of the Relationship

I have always been interested in why people do one thing or another in various contexts. Naturally, this also relates to the subject of horses and humans. Many of the equestrians I have met over the years were very nice, easy going people. But as soon as their horse did not “perform properly” their behaviour changed dramatically. This behaviour and the accompanying emotions have their foundation elsewhere, which is further evidenced by the fact that most horse owners and riders have no valid explanation for their own behaviour. After all, they really love their horses. Yet when stressed, their actions show the opposite – and also indicate helplessness. I asked myself, what does the horse mean to each of these people? What kinds of relationships emerge in varying constellations? What role is assigned to the horse by his human?

Everyone knows from their professional and private life that we take on various roles and feel obliged to behave as appropriate for each role. We are supervisors, mothers, fathers, teachers, friends and we act accordingly. Most of the time, this happens without thinking. We just do it automatically because we know what is expected of us if we take on the role. With each different role, a person automatically acquires responsibilities, rights, obligations, the authority to make decisions and social status. This automatism helps us function in a manner which saves time and uses energy efficiently.

We also enter into relationships with horses. Humans take on a certain role in relation to them, as well. The nature of this relationship determines our subsequent behaviour towards horses, which may be conscious or subconscious. Let us look at a few examples.

 

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        We also enter into relationships with horses. Humans take on a certain role in relation to them as well. The nature of this relationship determines our subsequent behaviour towards horses, which may be conscious or subconscious!

1.1  HORSES AS PARTNERS

For many people, owning a horse is a dream come true, a long-harboured wish. Often they just act on the idea: I want a horse. There is the romantic notion of riding this horse as the sun is setting, how he whinnies a welcome, and how great it feels to be loved by this animal. This is why owning a horse is often the result of a pity purchase: a retired school horse, a slaughter horse, an ill horse, or just a cheap horse from any horse trader. The unspoken thought ‘if I care for him, he will come to love me’ pervades everything. Everyone has their own human understanding of what it means ‘to care for him.’ Often this is linked to giving the horse treats and all sorts of powders and potions, a pet name called out in a high voice (you would not believe how many horses are called “Sweetie”), meticulous grooming and shiny, oiled hooves.

The knowledge of what is right for the horse has been acquired by consulting various media, perhaps by reading a book or by talking with a variety of equestrians. I have experienced many such conversations and discussions among horse owners and riders; they meant well but were often misguided.

 

  My Horse, My Partner?

Since riding has become such a popular hobby in recent years, the following slogan has come to dominate the equestrian world: my horse is not sports equipment, he is my partner.

“My horse, my friend and partner“, “My horse, my partner”, are headlines often found in magazines devoted to horses. It sounds good, but who really cares whether it is true? Distinguishing the horse from “sports equipment” surely seems like the right thing to do. “Partner” sounds harmonious and fair. But is it?