Why Bad Looks Good E-Book

Wendy Patrick

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 189

Beschreibung

Overcome deception with biblical perception. Have you ever misjudged a situation that appeared desirable but ended in disaster? Have you been betrayed by a friend, coworker, or love interest? We all face challenging, heartbreaking experiences that require us to make important decisions. Unlike worldly advice, God's advice is perfect.   Why Bad Looks Good uses biblical wisdom to improve your perception of the people and world around you. Using relatable, real-life examples, career prosecutor Dr. Wendy Patrick teaches you how to: - assess people and circumstances clearly and accurately, - identify healthy sources of power, - surround yourself with trustworthy people, and - transform rose-colored glasses into reading glasses.We are drawn to talent, wealth, and beauty, yet all of those things come from God. Apply his divine wisdom to live peacefully but proactively, compassionately yet carefully, and adopt a fresh, uplifting outlook on life.

Leseprobe

Why Bad Looks Good is a powerful, highly practical primer on life’s most important lessons. In a world where dangers abound, Dr. Patrick’s biblically grounded wisdom provides indispensable guidance for navigating the perilous tempests of daily life. She helps readers master the art of discernment and learn to detect red flags, spot green lights, and seize golden opportunities.

Judge Ken Starr

For years I have said that the number one thing I pray for is discernment. If I have discernment, then so many other things fall into place. Just like Solomon, who prayed for wisdom, which brought him other blessings, discernment is what we all need most today in this era of misinformation and intentional disinformation. Wendy Patrick—with not only a law degree but also seminary and doctorate degrees—is academically well qualified. Her spiritual discernment, emotional maturity, and street savviness qualify her to write this book even more. When Wendy speaks, we all need to listen. When Wendy writes, we all need to read. Read anything she writes. Especially this.

Dr. Jim Garlow CEO of Well Versed

I can’t think of a timelier book on the issue of deception in a world that’s fed a steady diet of it. Dr. Patrick’s career as a prosecuting attorney brings the harsh truths of her experiences as vivid examples of how prevalent a problem it is. The sound wisdom within these pages is not only timely but could also literally spare you from lifelong grief and regret. A must-read!

Dr. Frank Correa Academic Dean and Professor of Theology and Apologetics, Veritas International University

I can’t think of anyone better qualified to write this book than Wendy Patrick, whose years as a defense attorney, district attorney, and criminal justice consultant make her an expert at identifying the bad disguised as the good. Her readable style, interesting case studies, and deep draw from the biblical wisdom tradition make this a fascinating read and a helpful guide.

Mark L. Strauss, PhD Author of Four Portraits, One Jesus and How to Read the Bible in Changing Times Professor of New Testament, Bethel Seminary

Today it’s more important than ever to be discerning, clearheaded, and just plain wise. But it’s difficult to do this since so much deception and wishful thinking are out there. As someone who has taught Christians how to think clearly, I believe Why Bad Looks Good can help us make good biblical decisions.

Gary Zacharias Apologetics Ministry Leader

Wendy Patrick brings a unique focus to living wisely as a Christian. Her experience as an attorney, her exposition of Scripture influenced by her theological training, and her interaction with thousands of people through her public speaking all come together in this book to provide a great deal of wisdom on the complex issue of applying biblical guidance to the challenges that Christians face in life. It’s a distinct contribution to Christian literature.

Myron S. Steeves Dean Emeritus, Trinity Law School

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

Why Bad Looks Good: Biblical Wisdom to Make Smart Choices in Life, Love, and Friendship

Copyright © 2023 Wendy Patrick

9781424564774 (hardcover)

9781424564781 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®, Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB1995 are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email [email protected].

Cover and interior by Garborg Design Works | garborgdesign.com

Printed in China

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To my mother, Elizabeth Patrick, and my sister, Jennifer Patrick. The loving, godly role models who inspire my Christian walk every day as we navigate the adventures of life together.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Deception of Public Perception

Chapter 2 When Bad Appears Beautiful

Chapter 3 The Deception of Dress

Chapter 4 When Bad Sounds Good

Chapter 5 When You Hear What You Want to Hear

Chapter 6 The Halo of Hypocrisy

Chapter 7 The Fallacy of Feelings

Chapter 8 When Bad Feels Good

Chapter 9 When Haste Makes Waste

Chapter 10 The Allure of Idolatry

Chapter 11 When Less Looks like More

Chapter 12 When Risky Looks Rewarding

Chapter 13 When Darkness Looks Desirable

Chapter 14 When Lust Feels like Love

Chapter 15 When Immoral Seems Normal

Chapter 16 When Frenemies Look like Friends

Chapter 17 The Optics of Occupation

Chapter 18 When Credentials Do Not Reveal Character

Chapter 19 The Ruse of Reputation

Chapter 20 The Illusion of Intelligence

Chapter 21 The Fantasy of First Impressions

Chapter 22 The Perils of Power

Chapter 23 The Rapture of Riches

Chapter 24 The Lure of Luxury

Chapter 25 When Busyness Looks like Business

Chapter 26 The Temptations of Technology

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

About the Author

Many of the fact patterns in this book are from real cases that I have handled, which are all matters of public record. Nonetheless, the case examples have been deliberately altered to maintain the anonymity of the individuals involved.

FOREWORD

In so many conversations, nationally and internationally, I have heard people express concern about the “topsy turvy” world in which we live. One often hears something like this: “It seems like people do not have any common sense anymore.” Did we ever? Nevertheless, the upside-down state of things may truly be worse now.

Wendy Patrick has seen the liar, the thief, the charlatan, the actor, the deceiver, the innocent, the broken, the abused, and the devious. She has faced criminality, domestic violence, and first-degree murder cases, and at times she has witnessed tragic injustice. The innocent do not always go free, and the guilty are not always sentenced—both of which illustrate how the world is indeed upside down. Mixed with this darkness and maelstrom, however, are the selfless, amazing individuals who have startled Wendy by their ability to brighten any environment, shining like the aurora in the midnight sky. Their caring hearts bless this planet and make our world truly lovable. All that is to say that Wendy’s experience has shown her virtually every side of the spectrum of “good” and “bad.”

I have known Wendy for approximately two decades and have seen her incredible expertise in action and her dedication as a lawyer, prosecutor, and defense attorney. I also know her accolades, such as being named “Public Lawyer of the Year” by the California State Bar Public Law Section. She even pivoted beyond law and attended theological seminary, graduating summa cum laude, and earned a master of divinity in San Diego and then a doctorate in theology from the University of Wales Trinity Saint David.

Many people tend to see the world and others through only single or dual prisms, but Wendy has a multifaceted perspective, which she reflects and shares in this work, Why Bad Looks Good. Whereas few people can straddle the bridge between the legal world, the spiritual world, and all the other pieces that make up real life, Wendy does so with aplomb. She anchors her life and writing in quality relationships with examples of positive care for others and creation and guides readers by the truth of Scripture, reflected through life stories and principles.

As the subtitle of this book promises, Wendy shares the simple, practical truths of the Bible and clearly delineates specific approaches for positive everyday living. And the illustrations she shares of real people and real experiences are not only amazingly appropriate and adroitly placed, but they also teach principles that any man or woman can utilize. She further lays out those steps of life that present opportunities for success individually, in relationships, and in business. In doing so, Wendy paints a picture of a balanced life, the daily walk that brings joy from beginning to end, and opportunities by faith for cloverleaf movements on the highway of life, helping readers get back on track and move past any momentary failure.

In reading this flowing blend of storytelling, law, and theological truths as only Wendy can depict, the haze of this world clears away. One begins to see the light burn off the mist and finds clarity in perception, taking in a true view of a fulfilling existence.

Tom Phillips

Vice President

Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

INTRODUCTION

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

ISAIAH 5:20

Have you ever misjudged a person or a situation that appeared desirable only for it to end in disaster? Has a friend or love interest ever betrayed you? Did you take a chance on a seemingly lucrative business venture that turned out to be a bust, or did you learn the hard way that living dangerously and taking physical risks can end in injury? If you find yourself answering yes to any of these questions, you’re far from alone.

As a career prosecutor, I have decades of experience working with victims and witnesses from all walks of life who became involved with manipulators and offenders who didn’t seem “dangerous.” On the contrary, others perceived these people as desirable. I have realized over the years how frequently people miss red flags because an attractive, alluring package of qualities or circumstances shroud those flags.

My heart for ministry and for sparing future victims from the hazards of misperception sparked my desire to help set the record straight with Why Bad Looks Good.Why Bad Looks Good is also the title of a column that I have been writing for almost a decade for the psychology and human behavior media platform Psychology Today. In my column (and in this book), I discuss and explain the emotional and psychological reasons behind our attraction to harmful, hazardous people, opportunities, and circumstances.

The Benefit of Biblical Wisdom

We encounter heartbreaking experiences every day. A young woman receives a phone call while shopping for her wedding dress, and the caller alleges that the woman’s fiancé has been unfaithful. A veteran employee of a bank discovers majorly concerning accounting irregularities that implicate his boss, requiring him to decide if, when, and how to blow the whistle. A father learns that not only does his seven-year-old daughter have a rare form of cancer requiring immediate hospitalization, but he must also be the one to break the devastating news to her. These matters of life, death, betrayal, and adversity require us to make important decisions. Where can we turn for advice?

The self-help aisles at our local bookstores are full of worldly ideas. Ironically, what we won’t find within those aisles is the most popular and successful self-help book in the world: the Bible. The Bible is free, easily accessible online, and routinely dispensed at churches and religious institutions. Its wisdom is free for the taking: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault” (James 1:5). Some people write off the Bible as a list of “Thou Shall Nots,” but nothing could be further from the truth.

Unlike the well-intended but unpersuasive “because I said so” rationale that some parents rely on, the Bible articulates both rhyme and reason for its guidelines. For example, it advises us not to associate with hot-tempered people lest we learn their ways and become like them (see Proverbs 22:24–25). Husbands and wives are discouraged from depriving their spouses of physical affection except by agreement lest they fall into temptation (see 1 Corinthians 7:4–5). Children are instructed to obey their parents, reminding them of the first commandment to do so “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1–3). Pairing rules with rationales not only helps us better understand their purpose, but it also helps us identify and apply the wisdom behind the warnings.

Biblical wisdom is drastically different from worldly wisdom. As the Lord declares, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8–9). Unlike worldly advice, God’s advice is perfect because he created you and knows everything about you. Before a word is on your tongue, he knows what it is (see Psalm 139:4). He knows what you need before you ask (see Matthew 6:8). He even knows how many hairs are on your head (see Luke 12:7). And because God created everyone, he knows just as much about everyone else as he does about you, including why some people, unfortunately, are not to be trusted.

Developing Discernment

We are drawn to talent, wealth, and beauty, yet all of those things come from God. And although incredibly appealing, desires of the flesh and eyes are worldly and unspiritual (see 1 John 2:16). Deception impacts perception, making it more difficult to identify a smooth operator’s true motives. That’s why it’s imperative for us to be able to distinguish flash from substance whenever we find ourselves impressed by someone or something. To avoid being manipulated by ulterior motives, we have to learn how to recognize authenticity. In short, we have to learn the art of discernment: “Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you” (Proverbs 2:11).

Perhaps the most common obstacle to developing discernment today is distraction. Many of us float through our days distracted by our own thoughts or the text messages, alerts, and notifications competing for our attention. We lack the necessary concentration and diligence to spot anything out of the ordinary should it cross our path, and the cumulative effect of distraction causes us to miss red flags, green lights, and golden opportunities.

First and foremost, discernment requires preparation. When we first turn to God for guidance, we receive unique instruction: “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). Once we submit to God’s guidance, we are prepared and protected by the armor of God, which allows us to practice discernment whenever we encounter new people and circumstances. And by practicing biblical discernment, we learn in time to distinguish the good from the bad, which facilitates health, hope, and happiness in every area of our lives.

Learning to discern when bad looks good also requires patience and perseverance. We may not always get it right, but we gain confidence and strength each and every time we slow down and focus on making a conscious, wise decision. This confidence and strength also protect us from getting “tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there” by every type of teaching or the “cunning and craftiness of people” who deceive us through scheming (Ephesians 4:14).

In Why Bad Looks Good, we’ll explore Scripture and biblical wisdom that will enhance your perception of people and circumstances. We’ll also use practical, relatable, real-life examples to illustrate how you can apply divine wisdom in every area of your life in order to make wise choices. From money to marriage, health to happiness, and gossip to greed, learn to live peacefully but proactively, compassionately yet carefully. Transform your rose-colored glasses to reading glasses and develop a fresh, uplifting perspective of the people and world around you.

CHAPTER 1

THE DECEPTION OF PUBLIC PERCEPTION

The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ.

2 CORINTHIANS 4:4

We live in a world where bad not only looks good but is also actually described as good. Where naughty is marketed as nice by advertisers intentionally showcasing the provocative nature of the products they sell. Using words and images that present products as “dangerous,” “forbidden,” “wicked,” and “guilty,” they intentionally cater to the dark side of humanity. Most people have become desensitized to such labeling and promotion. But to what end?

Consider the people you follow on social media and why. Do you find them inspirational or interesting? Are you motivated by moral conviction or morbid curiosity? Your answers predict the influence such content has on your life.

Following internet influencers or Hollywood heroes might mean you also emulate the lifestyle they lead—for better or for worse. We live in an era where we are consistently exposed to alternative lifestyles and bombarded with advertisements and sexualized portrayals of modern behavior. In reality, however, many trending social “norms” are anything but.

When Abnormal Seems Normal

Society often values things that the Bible does not. For example, most every culture emphasizes appearance. This focus on the physical is celebrated in countless ways, such as beauty contests like Miss America and Miss Universe, where the most attractive woman in a region is selected from each city, state, and country in the world. Social media influencers seduce the impressionable by glamourizing their lifestyles and using unrealistic filters to enhance their appearance, making their choices seem acceptable, if not aspirational. Popular television shows focus on handsome men as well, often within the context of having a harem of women competing for one man’s attention. Once a couple ties the knot, we move on to programs featuring “real” housewives and exploiting the manufactured dramas of ultra-rich fractured families—not quite the fairy-tale romance and happily-ever-after storylines our precious young people were exposed to in years past.

Sure, provocative shows focus on ratings, not role modeling, but Hollywood portrayals inarguably influence perception and popularity. And unlike in a court of law, where a judge controls the presented evidence, in the court of public opinion, people choose the content they want to consume and the voices they want to listen to. They mindlessly follow whatever happens to be trending without understanding that repeating an idea might make it popular.

Normalizing and legitimizing maladaptive, harmful thoughts and behaviors create a dangerous environment of permissive immorality. Whether in terms of infidelity, dishonesty, or depravity, marketing malevolence is no less harmful to public morality simply because it is portrayed as normal.

Some people don’t even try to hide their prideful nonconformity. Peter warns us about bold and brazen personalities who openly practice deceit and debauchery. “Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed” (2 Peter 2:13–14).

Even when abominable behavior damages life and health, such as when God withheld the lifegiving showers from Israel, the behavior continues unabated: “Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute; you refuse to blush with shame” (Jeremiah 3:3). We see similar behavior today—people living in depravity, behaving in deceitful, wicked, greedy, arrogant, and boastful fashions, knowing their behavior is sinful but continuing in it and encouraging others who behave the same way (see Romans 1:29–32). We are wise to carefully consider whom we follow and where they may be leading us.

Following the Crowd…Right off a Cliff

When I was growing up, our elders warned us of participating in activities and behaviors merely because everyone else was doing it. They’d ask us the classic question, “If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?” Things are no different today in terms of trends; except in our world of social media, ideas spread easier and so much faster. The internet truly is filled with videos that make extreme behavior look mainstream. People are then quick to jump off the proverbial trendy cliff by jumping to the wrong conclusions. They fall victim to false information because it’s paired with a hashtag and shared by “friends,” “fans,” and “followers” who have no more wisdom than they do.

Social media also promotes a misplaced sense of safety in numbers. Wayward souls seeking wild or dangerous experiences can assure themselves that “everyone’s doing it” or “I’m not the only one.” And unfortunately, whether someone is seeking to learn how to bake a cake or build a bomb, a supportive virtual community is ready to assist. Before their killing sprees, many school shooters and mass murderers connected with like-minded criminals online, some of whom encouraged their horrific massacres.

Social media promotes a misplaced sense of safety in numbers.

When deciding whether to follow social media influencers, consider what their posts reveal. Influencers leading alternative lifestyles can lead us right off the beaten path and into dangerous territory both physically and spiritually. Despite the promise of a bright and shiny future, one in which your life mirrors theirs, beware of the light at the end of the tunnel that might just turn out to be an oncoming train.

The Bible, by contrast, will keep you on the right track, as God’s Word is “a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (Psalm 119:105). The things that come from the Spirit of God can only be discerned through the Spirit, not through the world. As 1 Corinthians 2:14 reads, “The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.”

Truth Is Always #Trending

In my profession, the laws change every year. This requires us to keep up to date with the latest legislation and propositions in order to stay on top of the ever-evolving legal landscape. Social movements and ideas endorsed by airbrushed influencers are also constantly in flux, depending on whatever tweets, shares, and social media posts are currently trending. In stark contrast, the Bible does not change. Biblical truth is timeless: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). He is “the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6).