X-MEDIUM E-Book

Ella Lehmus

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 167

Beschreibung

The purpose of sensitive Ella was spiritual growth, self-knowledge, inner peace and finding one's own strength. The journey took her deep into the New Age and the world of spiritualism for fifteen years. Then something happened that changed everything. A true based, arresting story about mistaking darkness for light. When you find the truth, even if you thought you already found it. Ella's story gives food for thought to those who are considering embarking on a spiritual path, or interested in energy therapy, mysticism etc. But this story is especially to those who are already there. The story is also good for those who work in the service of the church.

Leseprobe

DISCLAIMER

Unfortunately, I cannot guarantee the complete accuracy of the text.

Typos and misunderstandings are possible.

However, this story is about my own life, and it is based on true events. Some names and descriptions of places have been changed.

Table of Contents

Chapter ONE

Chapter TWO

Chapter THREE

Chapter FOUR

Chapter FIVE

Chapter SIX

Chapter SEVEN

Chapter EIGHT

Chapter NINE

Chapter TEN

Chapter ELEVEN

Chapter TWELVE

Chapter THIRTEEN

Chapter FOURTEEN

Chapter FIFTEEN

Chapter SIXTEEN

Chapter SEVENTEEN

Chapter EIGHTEEN

Chapter NINETEEN

Chapter TWENTY

Chapter TWENTY - ONE

Chapter TWENTY – TWO

Chapter TWENTY – THREE

Chapter TWENTY – FOUR

Chapter TWENTY – FIVE

Chapter TWENTY – SIX

EPILOGUE

REFERENCES

Literature

ONE

Since I was a child, I had intuition about what was going to happened. My mother told me, that in the age of two I was telling in advance some things that were really happening. Sometimes those things were happening within few hours.

Once I have kept saying that my aunt will visit us with her daughter. We did not have a phone and neither any appointment for a visit has not been done. Funny, but I do remember that.

I was sitting on the bed, covered with a mustard-colored blank. I was wearing white pantyhose and a dress. I had to patter: – Anni and Minttu will visit us. Anni and Minttu will visit us.

I was continuing pattering of it, and I remember my mother was getting a bit annoyed because of that. In a while Anni and Minttu were behind our door. They were living 25 km away, so they have been leaving their home already when I started pattering.

I remembered many things happening in my early years and my mother always kept saying it is impossible for me to remember. But I did and I do.

I was 12 months old when I got high fever. The thermometer was no longer enough, and father had called a doctor for us from the neighbor. I told my mother about that night decades later and she was amazed.

– It was raining, weather was awful. The rain was lashing the living room window hard, I started. I was lying on the brown fabric couch in the living room on top of a red blanket, facing the window. I did see the whole room at once, as if I was at the edge of the ceiling at the same time as I was lying on that sofa. Then father went to turn on the outside light and soon a man in a black robe entered the front door, I continued the story and mother listened more closely.

– The man was wearing a black hat and black raincoat, and he was carrying big black bag. He had a bland and silver colored stethoscope and it felt cold, I was remembering.

– No one has been ever telling you that, Ella, my mother said. – How an earth can you remember that? she was wondering.

– I don’t know, I just remember clearly, I answered.

– The doctor indeed had a black hat and black raincoat, and it was raining like cats and dogs then, mother told and was still wondering. – And you had over 40 °C (104 °F) fever and you were convulsing.

When I was about 8 years old, I woke up in my room which was in the top floor of our house. I could not sleep after waking up and I went sneaking downstairs to my parents’ bedroom. I wanted to ask if I could sleep with them for the rest of the night.

I descended the stairs and went to the hall.

The hallway led to the kitchen and from the kitchen to mom and dad's bedroom. I had a blue nightgown with yellow lion pictures on it. I stayed in the doorway between the hall and the kitchen, wondering if I was too old to ask to sleep with mom and dad. But at the same time, I saw myself at the door of the kitchen and the parents' bedroom, talking and complaining that I couldn't sleep. I looked at myself from five meters away and felt embarrassed. So, I was embarrassed by what I did there, when I had just thought about going. Part of me was standing at the other door and part of me was standing there at the parents' bedroom door. These events confused my family, but to me they were quite ordinary. Telling them later convinced certain groups that I had the skills of a seer.

I was 11 years old when my father got seriously ill. I was collecting leaves from the nature, crushed them and diluted in water. Then I poured the liquid to the blue glass bottle and saved in my room. I thought it will cure my father. I kept the bottle years after my father died, I kept it until all the liquid has been evaporated. I wanted to cure the cancer from the whole world one day.

On my father's last day, my whole family and I visited him, and he prayed the evening prayer for us. I was crying the whole time, and I couldn't understand what my father was saying, because the cancer had already ravaged his brain, and his words were slurred.

We returned home and I sat with my mother at the kitchen table. The table was placed in front of a large window. We looked out together as a huge swan flew with open wings towards the window behind which we were sitting. Both of us, mother and I, were speechless. Just before the swan would have hit the window it turned straight up. It was an amazing sight that we couldn't believe.

– Eero!! my mother called my father's name in a panic. I knew that father has went to the heaven.

The mother suddenly got up from the chair and said she was going back to the hospital.

– I’m coming too, I said and got up as well.

– Ella, you are staying home, mother said in her determined tone, which I usually did not dare to question. – No, I want to come with you, I sobbed and cried.

– Ella, NO! The matter was not discussed further.

My mother went to the neighbor and got a lift to the hospital.

Waiting at home was excruciating pain. I knew what had happened, but I refused to believe it.

When the mother finally arrived back home, she said that the father was already dead when she got there. I fell to my knees and screamed out loud. I was completely broken. Why the God I prayed to every night had taken my father away. – Dad, come back, I was screaming and crying.

There was no end to the crying at all, in the end I was completely exhausted and shaking. I didn't want to sleep until dad came back. My mother was devastated, but she tried to comfort me. My other siblings were also grieving, but grief hit me the deepest.

I was in agony, and at that time there was no one to help to and talk about my feelings. Of course, there were psychiatrists in big cities, but we couldn't afford that, and psychiatric therapy was only given to crazy people, as they used to say in our small village. That day I cried out in grief and kept asking my mother why God took my father away.

– Why is God so cruel mother? I was yelling while crying.

Mom had no answer, but she tried her best to comfort me. I prayed to myself and out loud, crying out to God to bring dad back. I don't remember how I ended up sleeping, I apparently cried myself to sleep on the kitchen floor and my mother carried me into the sleeping room. That night, all my siblings and mother, we slept in the same room.

I woke up to someone calling me.

– Ella, Ella, the voice said.

It was dad's voice! I was fully awake at once. I saw a figure near my bed that smelled like my father, whose contours also resembled him, and this creature felt like my father. It WAS my father. My mouth felt open as I gazed mesmerized at that shimmering figure. Then I was overcome with great fear. – But father is dead, I thought.

– Don’t be afraid Ella, the voice of my father said.

That figure was close to me, and it resembled a silver-colored sand, but its outline and everything about it was like my father.

I quickly pulled the blanket over my head. I was really scared. There, under the blanket, I started to think that I shouldn't be afraid of dad. If God had sent my father back. I lowered the blanket over my head and looked for that figure with my eyes. I didn't see it again though. I started crying again. I blamed myself for scaring dad away.

In the morning I told my mother about what happened. Mom stroked my head and comforted me. However, she did not comment on what happened. For years after that, I always prayed the same prayer in the evenings. In that prayer, I asked my father to come back.

I knew it was impossible, but I prayed anyway, year after year.

Later, at the dawn of puberty, I left that part out of the prayer. There was no end to the sadness and pain, and that pain was repeated later every time I started dating.

I was so afraid of being left behind that I clung and always made that fear come true. I had a big wound of rejection. I mourned each broken relationship as if the world was ending and me with it.

I had already decided at the age of fifteen that I would not have children. I had also decided that it was best to be alone – no need to suffer. However, that solitude did not materialize; I met men and dated for short and slightly longer periods.

Relationships ended to my own pain. Then, in my thirties, I decided that maybe it would really be best to be alone.

However, fate decided otherwise, and I met a very special man – Pekka.

Sometimes I thought that I would write a book about our six-year relationship, because a lot happened during those six years and that time had a profound effect on the rest of my life. Both the police and the women’s shelter became familiar. It was also suggested to me to change my identity and move out of the town.

I have had many teachers in my life, but Pekka has been the best of them all.

It is said that a person learns from what he experiences and often the hard way. That's exactly what happened to me.

I also had a child with Pekka, as planned. That child was and still is the most precious thing in the world to me.

TWO

My relationship with Pekka had just ended and I was like a fragile shell. I was mentally and physically fragile, my clothes were hanging off me and I was malnourished.

I had to hide and secure my passage, plan every step. I was flashing behind me all the time and I couldn't relax; I was on alert all the time.

My friend Eva wanted to help me and told me about a woman who heals with energy. Eva had been under the care of this woman, and she said that woman knew things about her that no one else knew.

– The feeling was incredible after the therapy, Eva beamed.

– What kind of feeling? I asked.

– Light and happy. Ella, you absolutely must try it!

I wouldn't have been able to handle anything, but Eva didn't give up.

– I'll make an appointment for you now, I have the number here, shall we call?

– No but give me the number and I'll call from home.

– Do you promise, Eva said. – I promise, I said, and we slapped our palms together. At home I pondered the matter in my mind and the voice of reason said:

– Don't believe all the hype.

However, the feeling was stronger, and it even urged me to come. What would I have to lose, life is in pieces, if I could breathe again after a long time. As the morning dawned, I picked up the phone and called to make an appointment.

I went to Maiju's energy healing room early in the morning, sometime after a couple of weeks after Eva's persuasion. She told me on the phone there were no appointments earlier, there was a queue of customers.

– Well, hey Ella, said Maiju with a flattering smile on her face.

– It can't be true, I thought. – I know that Maiju.

She is the same Maiju who bullied me as a child.

She lied as much as he could and bombarded her younger ones. She made tricks and was mean.

I should have been asking the whole name or before making appointment.

– Hello, I replied timidly.

I immediately wished I hadn't come, but it would be really embarrassing to leave. I'm always so kind and I do everything to please others, or I was!

Maiju was still smiling, or I think grinning is a more descriptive word for her expression. She asked me to lie on the therapy table. I settled into it as she instructed, and she put on soft music. That music sounded like the chanting of the Indians, and gentle drumming could be heard in the background.

Maiju said that my megahertz are high. I was laughed at. I've never been any good at physics, but I knew that much that megahertz can't be measured from humans.

– How so high? I asked, and when I asked, I realized that there was no need to ask. Maiju got upset and didn't answer. – Well, who has been taking your energies? Maiju was asking sarcastic in a while.

– Um, I don’t know, I replied confused. Maybe my ex-husband, I continued.

I wouldn't have wanted to talk about my affairs, and at least not to her.

– Oh, why did I come, I should have found out who it was first, I thought.

However, I decided to try to relax. Maiju asked me a couple of different times to calm down and relax.

– Well, at least I'm safe from my ex-husband here, I thought, and my body slowly began to press against the therapy table. For the rest of the time, Maiju was quiet and that felt good. I calmed down and I think I was on the verge of sleep. I hadn't slept very well in a long time since my ex-husband's threats, so the rest was good. At the end of the energy healing therapy, Maiju said she saw a lot of red energy and a man.

– What does it mean? I asked.

– Red is the color of hate energy.

– Oh yeah, I wondered and thought at the same time, how can Maiju know that.

– All this can be seen in your energy field, Ella, Maiju said.

I was confused and asked if she was reading my mind? – Ha ha, you could call it that, Maiju laughed.

Maiju told me that I have many invisible helpers and guides.

– You have also been prayed for, she said quietly.

– This is it; this is exactly what I've been looking for, a big thought popped into my head. – We need to get more of this.

At the end of the therapy, Maiju said that she would recommend me another time, but her calendar is very full.

– So many people go to this kind of healing therapy, I thought.

– At the end of the month, you might find an appointment, will you take it? Maiju asked, scrolling through her calendar.

– I'll take it, I said.

On the way home I felt dizzy and felt a bit confused. It made me wonder how a bully had become a helper.

– She must have become religious or something, there were angels hanging here and there, I thought.

My next energy healing appointment was in a month, and I was really looking forward to it. I left the healing room again, half dizzy. I had experienced wonderful energies and Maiju had seen them around me.

When the energy healing therapies had continued for about half a year, I felt that I had recovered nicely from being a victim of my ex-husband.

However, it was also influenced by the peer support group I attended, and a new love had also entered the picture. However, in Maiju's opinion, that love had not helped me.

– It's such a patchwork relationship, she poked.

I was a little hurt, and that left me wondering. I didn't really want to believe Maiju.

I started to feel that I would no longer get a response from Maiju's energy healing therapy, and I thought of taking a break.

After one energy therapy session, I said that I would not order another appointment now.

– I don't know if I can take you anymore, the times are so reserved, Maiju said complainingly.

– Well, in that case, I'll make a new appointment right away, I said.

The next appointment was found exactly one month later.

That next time was different.

– Tell me, Ella, what do you see? Maiju said suddenly.

I had sunk into a wonderful state of relaxation, and I was watching the wonderful blue color that turned into shades of red and purple with my eyes closed. I was startled and talked about these colors.

– Oooooh, exclaimed Maiju. – Exactly! Those are the colors there, she continued excitedly.

– Oh yeah, I said. So, she saw the same thing as me, pretty amazing! But a small flicker of doubt would cross my mind.

– You could come and take care of this, we could change places, Maiju continued convincingly.

– Well, I guess not, I said modestly.

– Yes, you ARE the helper, Maiju assured.

That was a nice touch to my often-battered self-esteem.

– Wow, if only it were like that, oh If only it were, I thought hopefully.

I continued with Maiju's energy healing therapies regularly about once a month. Maiju saw everything for me; she said she saw my spirit guides, power animals and past lives.

– You have been the pharaoh's wife, Maiju said once in the middle of the energy therapy.

– You have had mystical powers and you have also been worshipped, she continued.

– Oh, you are beautiful in this life, absolutely dazzling, Maiju exclaimed so that I was scared.

– Hey, don't be afraid, anything can happen during this therapy, Maiju laughed.

It didn't make me laugh, because I seriously freaked out.

Later, when I talked with my friend Eva, I stated that Maiju had seen a completely similar past life to Eva. When I next went to Maiju's energy therapy, she apparently somehow noticed that this had happened and immediately explained that we all have many past lives, some soulmates even have similar ones. I got the feeling that she was explaining too much now, but I ignored it. After that, Maiju didn't talk about any of my past life.

Maiju was also a philanthropist. She collected money for the poor in Egypt and went once a year to deliver the money personally. She always had something "hot" when she returned from her trip.

The people in Maiju's therapies then heard and experienced those fiery events. Maiju said that she lay in the pharaoh's tomb inside the pyramid.

– It's forbidden and dangerous, my friend Eva had told Maiju.

– I know, Maiju had laughed.

– I think it's a violation of the grave peace, I said to Eva. – Can the whole thing even be true, how would tourists get there now, I concluded.

– Yes, Maiju said that someone local had taken her there in such a way that the local guides didn't see, Eva insisted.

Maiju told me after one of her trips to Egypt that she had been in the desert and charmed a rattlesnake with a local Bedouin.