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Why is prayer so hard?Many of us have asked that question. We want to pray. We intend to pray. But, as spiritual director and professor MaryKate Morse notes, " we don't pray as consistently or as meaningfully as we might like."And yet prayer offers us such spiritual riches. Prayer - draws us to experience love and to be love - increases our faith - expands our vision of God - helps us grow in self-understanding - gives us perspective on life and deathMorse continues: "Through prayer, we experience forgiveness, guidance and peace. We are healed physically and emotionally. We experience the mystery of God, see truth and receive spiritual gifts. We receive vision and courage for God's mission. Faith becomes more beautiful, more real."This guidebook is designed to move you from lamenting over prayerlessness to the joy of praying. Whether you are a beginner or a lifetime person of faith, you will find a treasure trove of riches here to guide you into a deeper experience of prayer.Each chapter explores a different angle of prayer with sections focusing on each of the persons of the Trinity—Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And each chapter offers specific ways to pray both on your own, with a partner or in a group. Sprinkled throughout are reflections from the author's former students describing on their own experience with these practices.A treasure trove of both resources and encouragement, you will find this book to be an indispensable guide to your life of prayer.
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Twenty-four ways to walk with God
MaryKate Morse
Foreword by Joshua Choonmin Kang
www.IVPress.com/books
InterVarsity Press P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426 World Wide Web:www.ivpress.comEmail:[email protected]
©2013 by MaryKate Morse
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.
InterVarsity Press®is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA®, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, write Public Relations Dept., InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, 6400 Schroeder Rd., P.O. Box 7895, Madison, WI 53707-7895, or visit the IVCF website atwww.intervarsity.org.
Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
While all stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
The closing chapter is adapted from “The Problem of Prayerlessness” by MaryKate Morse inGiving Ourselves to Prayer,© 2007 PrayerShop Publishing. Used with permission.
Cover Design: Cindy Kiple
Images: sheep at sunset: Peter Adams/Getty Images sailboat in storm: o-che/Getty Images
ISBN 978-0-8308-3578-2 (print) ISBN 978-0-8308-6464-5 (digital)
To my dad,Vaughan Palmore,
and my husband,Randy Morse,
two men who have inspired me with their lives of prayer.
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Introduction
PART ONE: God the Father
1 Community Prayer
2 Creative Prayer
3 Work Prayer
4 Contemplative-Rest Prayer
5 Prayer of Confession
6 Blessing Prayer
7 Worship Prayer
PART TWO: God the Son
8 Daily Reflection Prayer—The Examen
9 The Lord’s Prayer
10 The Servant Prayer
11 Simplicity Prayer
12 Prayer in Play
13 Scripture Prayer—Lectio Divina
14 Relinquishment Prayer
15 Forgiveness Prayer
16 Sacrament Prayer
PART THREE: God the Holy Spirit
17 Prayer Language—Tongues
18 Conversational Prayer
19 Breath Prayer
20 Healing Prayer
21 Meditative Prayer
22 Discernment Prayer
23 Watch Prayer
24 Rejoice Prayer
Closing
Notes
About the Author
More Titles from InterVarsity Press
Dr. Morse is inviting us to the deep and mysterious world of prayer. It might sound a bit strange, but Almighty God also prayed. If anyone asks me why we should pray, I would answer them that we have to pray because God prays. Our God is the God of prayer. Our Father God listens to our prayers. Even at this moment, Jesus is praying for us (Rom 8:34; Heb 7:25). The Holy Spirit helps our weakness through intercession and prays for us in accordance with God’s will (Rom 8:26-27). Prayer is the divine principle through which God operates the cosmos. Thus, the spiritual world is the prayer world.
Dr. Morse invites us to pray with the triune God. What an amazing invitation! The greatest honor for a Christian is to have fellowship with the triune God. To pray means to fall in love with God. To pray means to enjoy the privilege of conversation with the triune God. To pray means to desire the Triune God and enjoy fellowship with him. It is to thirst for God.
The author not only invites us to the deep prayer world, but also helps us to lay a good foundation of prayer. She teaches us about the One to whom we pray, what we pray for and how we should pray. The Chinese word for laying foundation means taking care of or checking out the roots. To pray is to send one’s roots deeply to Jesus, the source of living water. Prayer spirituality is the spirituality of growing down. Only when the tree sends its roots deeply down into the ground can the branches grow up outwardly and bear abundant fruit. Our souls grow and bear the fruit of the Spirit by the living water that we absorb from the roots through prayer. True prayer is an encounter between heaven and earth.
Dr. Morse teaches us various ways of enjoying intimate fellowship with God by introducing twenty-four prayers. Just as a skillful and competent surgeon uses many different scalpels, depending on the part of the body being operated on, Morse helps us to come closer to God through many different ways of praying. A doctor who knows only one method to cure a patient is not a good doctor. An excellent doctor not only knows several ways to treat a patient, but also knows how to apply these treatments. In that perspective, the author is like a soul doctor, teaching us twenty-four ways to cure and heal our wounded souls.
She also serves as a spiritual guide into the deep prayer world. Since the prayer world is full of mysteries, we must have a guide. A person who tries to enter into the world of prayer without a guide is like a person who hikes into a wilderness alone or tries to climb Mount Everest without the help of a Sherpa. That is very dangerous.
Jesus’ disciples asked him to teach them how to pray. We must go before Jesus and learn how to pray from him. We need to receive help from the spiritual guide who has experience with deep prayer. The author of this book is an excellent spiritual guide. Her soul is calm and quiet. Her character reminds us of that of Jesus. She has sharp intelligence and a gentle heart. Dr. Morse has a very bright and pure spirit. This book is a holy masterpiece of her long prayer and study. Before they entered the land of Canaan, the spies first drew a map of the land. Just as they could not enter into the land without a proper map, we need a spiritual map like this book to enter into the Promised Land.
The world of prayer is not only a world full of mysteries but also of grace. We cannot be saved without God’s saving grace, nor can we enter into the school of prayer without his special favor. We cannot experience the depth of the world of prayer without the help of the Holy Spirit, who is the spirit of prayer. The author invites us into the world of God’s grace. If you have this book in your hand, that’s a great incident of God’s grace. An encounter with a good book is an incident of grace. Good books help us to fall in love with God, and leave us wanting to be more like him. This book is a good book!
I recommend this book as a guide for those who want to pray but don’t know how. And I wish to recommend this book for those who want to go deeper into the world of prayer. Read this book slowly and prayerfully. As you do, you will find yourself falling in love with God.
Rev. Joshua Choonmin Kang
I am grateful to so many who accompanied me on the journey of writing this book. Before I began writing I attended a Writer’s Retreat sponsored by IVP and led by my editor, Cindy Bunch. Cindy thought it would inspire her “baby” writers (those of us who hadn’t written many books) to see writing as a calling. She also wanted us to learn from each other and hear from some seasoned writers about the craft of writing. I remember when we Skyped in a conversation with Richard Foster. I couldn’t believe that here I was ready to embark on the writing of a prayer guidebook, and I was getting writing advice from one of the most-read authors on prayer and formation. Of course, he didn’t know about my project, but it still felt holy to me. During that time, I came to know Cindy as more than my editor. She was on a mission to develop and nurture writers for the sake of God’s kingdom. Every morning and evening she would open her tablet and lead us in prayer. She created an experience after which I felt newly inspired to bring my very best to the writing task. Thank you, Cindy, for caring about us writers. Thank you, Anne Grizzle, for the hospitality and love of your retreat home and the amazing food.
I am also grateful to George Fox University for giving me a year sabbatical in which to write this book. I am aware that a yearlong sabbatical is a rare gift, a treasure I wanted to steward. I created goals and had a schedule; I dedicated myself in prayer and industry to the writing of this book. I hope I make the “family” proud. Thank you, George Fox, for the opportunity to write without interruption and teaching duties.
Of course, I am grateful for the people who over the years have shared their prayer lives and experiences with me. So many stories I was unable to include, but so many continue to inspire me. Thank you all for your insight, adventure and courage while trying these many ways to pray. Thank you for sharing honestly about your experiences and allowing me to share your stories with others. I’m especially sending a shout-out of love to all my students and former church members.
Finally, one of the fruits of my time at the Writer’s Retreat was the idea of having a small group of people to pray for me while I wrote and to hold me accountable. When you are alone writing, it is easy to feel isolated. It is also easy to take too many breaks and get behind. So, I chose a group of women. I chose women whom I have known and loved over the years, and who know and love me. I chose women who pray. These women are Sandy Bass (church worship leader and artist in Portland, OR), Margaret Duggan (professor at Redcliffe College in Gloucester, England, and missions worker in Asia with Navigators), Lu Hawley (ministering with Co-Serve in Thailand and Kazakhstan), Deborah Loyd (church planter, blogger, and adjunct professor in Portland, OR), Una Lucey-Lee (leadership trainer for InterVarsity in Chicago, IL), Carol McLaughlin (in the ordination process for PCUSA Teaching Elder and seminary adjunct in Gig Harbor, WA) and Miriam Mendez (American Baptist pastor and church planter in Portland, OR). Every week I sent them an email on Friday afternoon with a status report, my draft chapters and prayer needs. They prayed for me, and I am so, so thankful to each one of them.
At the end of my sabbatical I traveled to Seoul, Korea, with some doctor of ministry students. It struck me that I began my journey on retreat with Richard Foster sharing about his writing ministry and ended my journey in South Korea with Rev. Joshua Choonmin Kang, who is the “man of prayer” in South Korea. We attended a 6:00 a.m. prayer service at Myungsung Presbyterian Church with five thousand men, women and children in attendance. When we walked to our seats, the sanctuary was completely quiet as people prepared in contemplative silence. The people of South Korea were a persecuted church, and so they prayed. I am humbled to contribute a small work on prayer in light of the contributions made by such saints as these.
Prayer as Roadness to God
The root of all prayer, and indeed all life itself, is desire for God. All things are made to desire God.
Roberta Bondi
The difference between talking about prayer and praying is the same as the difference between blowing a kiss and kissing.
G. K. Chesterton
Wrestling, agonizing, sweating, working, asking, fulfilling a duty—this is what prayer has been for me. I have found, along with comfort and help, both confusion and frustration. The same questions lurk like shadows in the back of my mind year after year. Why is prayer so hard? Why do I lose interest? Why does God feel distant? Is this all that prayer really is? Intuitively, I felt that prayer should be more and take me deeper, but I did not know what was missing or where to look for answers.
—Shane Gandara
Many of us lament, why is prayer so hard? We want to pray but we don’t pray as consistently and as meaningfully as we might like. The problem is increasing as we are formed more and more by media and technology than we are by prayer. Americans watch TV an average of twenty-eight hours a week,1 and 50 percent of all adults spend time using social media.2
Prayer is the most fundamental avenue for connecting us to God and growing in faith. Through prayer we know who we truly are and who this God is who loves us. Prayer:
draws us to experience love and to be love
increases our faith
expands our vision of God
helps us grow in self-understanding
gives us perspective on life and death, on gardens and deserts
Through prayer, we experience forgiveness, guidance and peace. We are healed physically and emotionally. We experience the mystery of God, see truth and receive spiritual gifts. We receive vision and courage for God’s mission. Faith becomes more beautiful, more real.
The purpose of this guidebook is to move from the lament to the joy of praying. Whether you are a beginner or a lifetime person of faith, the journey of prayer enriches our relationships with God and others. Prayer is more than a practice. It is a living adventure with a relational and risen Lord. God created us to be in a relationship with God expressed in the Trinity. God is the Creator and Covenant Maker. Jesus Christ is the living embodiment of God’s love and is the Redeemer who heals and forgives us. The Holy Spirit empowers us and intercedes on our behalf.
Within this book you will find comments from people who have walked different prayer paths with me. Julie Hopper is one such person, and she describes prayer this way:
If God were a city, prayer would be ways into the city. Some would be freeways, others boulevards. There would be avenues, alleys, sidewalks, train tracks, bike paths, and winding dirt trails. All of these obviously participate in roadness, yet by merely looking, one might see very little likeness between a freeway and a hiking trail. . . . Looking closely at prayer, I see God has provided many means for us to approach him.
Discovering these roadways is the purpose of this prayer guidebook. The aim is more than simply having various ways to pray. The aim is to have a more meaningful prayer experience and to know more authentically God, yourself and others with whom you pray.
George Barna, the founder of a research group that studies American beliefs, stated that the only constant his researchers ever found between effectiveness of the kingdom of God and some other element was not a gifted person or special program, but prayer.3 I believe that prayer is the tipping point for the church.
A tipping point, a term made popular by Malcolm Gladwell in his book The Tipping Point, is any idea that becomes contagious, comprises little causes that yield big effects, and creates change in a dramatic moment.4 Every reformation had a tipping point in Christian history, beginning with the first one in Acts. An idea becomes contagious: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life” ( Jn 3:16). This Son lived among us, gave himself on behalf of us, and rose from the dead to live again. Hundreds and then thousands of individuals and families believed, becoming a movement that began to threaten the very structure of the Roman government and Jewish religious system. It was contagious, especially the love Christians had for each other. The dramatic moment came in two steps: an open tomb and tongues of flame. The tomb was empty. Jesus appeared alive. The disciples and followers were continuously praying and waiting as the risen Jesus instructed them. Then the Holy Spirit fell with power on the band of believers. They went out with prophetic courage and healing gifts to change the world.
With prayer we can experience afresh the mystery of a life on fire for God and a life set free from the tomb. The contagious idea is that with prayer—that connection with the Trinity—we can flourish spiritually despite circumstances. Many people make small changes to incorporate prayer into their lives. The change is not about right behavior or thinking, though that happens. The change is about a people of God who love the world as God loves the world. The dramatic moment is in the hands of God. We wait and pray and respond as the Holy Spirit leads us.
Today is a serious time especially with the divisions and animosity found among believers. For Jesus and his first followers, the identifying mark of the church was the love believers had for each other. This is the very fundamental nature of Christ: “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 Jn 4:7).
Love happens in relationship. Prayer is the space where time and words and silence are given to God as a holy offering of love. It is the first place where problems between Christians are examined in the sacred gaze of God. How can we hate, if we have been on our knees in humble prayer interceding for each other?
The world also needs Christians committed to Jesus’ kingdom mission. Jesus proclaimed, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor” (Lk 4:18). Our mission is Jesus’ mission. We are to go and do likewise (Mt 28:18-20). Because of distractions and busyness we can miss the places where Jesus is yearning for us to make a difference. Prayer is the space where we get close to the heart of God and are renewed in our priorities.
Prayer matters, but the difficulty is that we struggle with a meaningful prayer life, even though prayer is a universal and common practice. Whether male or female, young or old, educated or not, whatever race, region, or income, people report praying at a very high percent, eight to nine out of every ten adults. The problem isn’t whether people pray or not. The problem is that people don’t experience God very often when they pray. Of those who reported that they prayed, 43 percent never felt led by God and 39 percent never received a spiritual insight. Only 26 percent regularly experienced God’s presence and only 32 percent regularly had a sense of peace.5 That means that for most people there is a disparity between the act and the experience of prayer. Those with the lowest value in their prayer experience felt the most distant from God, and those with the highest prayer experiences felt closest to God.6 Therefore, the urgency is for vitality in prayer.
Though there are benefits to prayer, we are sometimes motivated to pray for the wrong reasons. Prayer can lead to pride and religiosity, a feeling that we are particularly holy or special because of our prayers. On the pretext of praying, gossip can run through a congregation. We sometimes develop high expectations for how God is going to act, making it about our will and not God’s. We can use prayer to scold, direct, shame and even manipulate. We say, “God told me to . . . while praying” and so little is left for discernment and discussion with others.
Prayer and I have endured a relationship not unlike that of junior high would-be lovers. It’s great, then awkward, then I stop texting and we drift apart. This cycle repeats ad infinitum. The busier my life becomes, the less time and space I create for prayer. And then I feel empty, yet emptiness is the crux of our humanity precisely because it creates space for us to be filled with God’s Spirit. This is the great battle of the desert: our dual longing for and requirement of love. Love is the space in which we can cup our hands to contain enough small water to wet our faces in God’s stream of life.
—Pete Garcia
How do you differentiate the abuse of prayer from true prayer? Richard Foster defines prayer as “nothing more than an ongoing and growing love relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”7 Prayer is not an event but a life. It is not a petition but a love relationship with one God, expressed as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All three expressions of God bring imagination and possibilities to the character of the love relationship.
Some of us are inhibited in prayer because of limited views of God as judging father, or the Son as everyday buddy, or the Spirit as ecstatic confirmation of our value. Prayer is a love relationship expressed and known in many ways. In the same way that people who love each other delight in finding ways to express that love, prayer is how we delight in the Lord and the Lord delights in us.
Ched Myers, a theologian and activist, offers another dimension to the definition of prayer. He writes, “To pray is to learn to believe in a transformation of self and world, which seems, empirically, impossible—as in moving mountains.”8 Myers notes that prayer is a love relationship and more. True love leads to observable transformation. The result of prayer is changes in ourselves and in how we engage in the world. Prayer is trusting God to act despite the obstacles, to work miracles, moving the immovable in our lives and the world.
Prayer is a love relationship involving the interdependent union of the Trinity. Because it is a love relationship there is commitment and change. Researchers evaluate prayer most often on its frequency and outcomes such as guidance or peace, but rarely do they consider the relational aspects of a prayer life. Rather than asking ourselves, “Am I praying each day?” we should ask ourselves, “Am I in a love relationship with God today? Am I living like Jesus today? Do I smell the sweet breath of the Spirit today?”
All of life is a gift of love to believers and thus all of our life experiences can be ways to actively or passively experience the love of God. For most of us the issue is not the abundant presence of God but our limited attention to it. Thus, much as a beloved is wooed with texts, flowers, meaningful glances, meals and walks together, we engage with a God who loves us. And when we truly love, we are changed. Our primary struggle is not a focus on prayer as routine but rather a belief that prayer really matters and that anyone can pray.
I struggled with the notion that I had to get everything right in order to pray. I imagine if I were a pilgrim, working my way through the dusty paths of the desert to find an Abba to listen to my plaintive question, the exchange might go something like this. “Abba, I have tried so often to prepare myself for prayer, yet I never seem able to do well enough to pray.” The Abba would smile at me and offer, “Prayer itself is preparation; through it alone will you be made ready.” Pressing the issue, I mumble, “But ready for what?” To which the wrinkled Abba responds, “Ready for everything.”
—John Ray
Those who study behavioral change suggest that there are two questions that must be answered before an authentic change can occur: “Is it worth it?” and “Can I do it?”9 These questions are about motivation and ability. These are two fundamental questions that illustrate the problems with developing a satisfying prayer life.
Prayer doesn’t seem to be worth it and very few know how to pray in creative and meaningful ways. Prayer as modeled in the church is sometimes highly structured, or delivered by the pastor or “saint,” or is charismatic and requires a Holy Spirit gift. If we pray because we should or because we need something, the motivation for a life of prayer is weak. However, if we pray to experience God and to grow, the motivation is stronger. Prayer can redirect anxiety to hope, bitterness to freedom, insecurity to courage, and stuck-ness to vision. We feel ourselves in the living water of Christ. We hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit guiding us. We know the presence of God.
The answer to the question “Can I do it?” is yes. We can all pray. Prayer is not a skill leading to better and better results because one is praying rightly. Prayer is the simplest and most elegant of spiritual disciplines. Nothing is needed. It is the most primal avenue for reaching out and engaging with God and then being strengthened and directed in our mission in the world. Everyone can pray, anytime, anywhere, and in lots of ways.
This prayer guidebook is designed to respond to the motivation and ability questions. Change happens best when we are motivated by an outcome that elicits joy and future expectation. Prayer is a struggle but the expectation of a closer walk with God, a more mature self and a more committed community can transform the difficult to the desirable.
This guidebook introduces many ways for Christians to pray. It is not a definitive guidebook. There are still other ways to pray. Each person and community can discover new paths in which God is known and present through prayer.
By approaching prayer as a love relationship, the guidebook is set up to explore our relationship to God as expressed in the Trinity. Each chapter has content and then a prayer practice. The prayer practices are developed for individuals as well as for larger groups and prayer partners. Accountability and community are essential for any type of lasting change to occur.10 By praying with a friend or with a group, we stretch and grow together. We can ask questions and learn together. The experience of God is communal, not just personal. So when one person in a group has an answer to prayer or an experience of blessing or forgiveness, the entire community is blessed and encouraged. Sharing stories and experiences helps us walk together as we journey with God.
I have come to realize how expansive prayer is. It is as if we launch off in a little boat onto a very slow moving stream, which is our prayer. We can stay on this little stream our entire life, talking to God as we paddle safely around. Or we can be adventurous and paddle downstream, where it widens into a river. Effort is needed to paddle our boat, but the river begins to carry us and in time we reach a vast ocean that is the very heart of God. There we can rest and be with him.
—Pam Kelsay
Prayer connects us with our entire being and with each other. Prayer is not simply a mental or spiritual exercise. It is physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual. Prayer is more than words spoken in sacred spaces. Prayer gives us access to the breadth of God’s sovereignty over all things and God’s presence in all things. With Jesus Christ in us we experience prayer as a multifaceted life journey that affects all of our bodies, minds, hearts and actions. In the life practice of prayer we become naturalized into our forgotten citizenship in Christ’s kingdom. We are on the journey with the Holy Spirit and friends.
In Hawaiian culture, there are four ways of knowing. It is through one’s mana‘o (head), puu‘wai (heart), na‘au (gut, deep knowledge), and kino (body). These four ways of knowing correlate with Mark 12:30, where we are called to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. This allows me to help others to see and experience God in whatever context I find myself in, whether cultural, spiritual or personal. This is the incarnation of Jesus—that he came to our contexts and allowed us to come into contact with God, the divine Presence.
—Ryan Hee
The introduction of various prayer types is connected to the role of the Trinity in prayer—God in the Old Testament for the design and nature of prayer, Jesus in the Gospels as the practice and breadth of prayer, and the Holy Spirit in the New Testament as the guide and power of prayer. The chapters begin with an introductory section connecting an attribute of the Trinity to prayer. Each chapter has several true stories that I have collected over many years of teaching, leading retreats and speaking on prayer. Then there are specific prayer practices for groups, partners and individuals.
Group experience
. Any type or size of faith group can go through the various practices to expand understanding of God’s multifaceted love and to grow together in faith.
Partner experience
. You can also choose one to three prayer partners to meet with regularly and practice prayer together. Accountability and support exponentially encourage us on our prayer journeys.
Individual experience
. I encourage you to pray as an individual at least four times a week for at least fifteen minutes a day as you begin. If you are already a person of prayer, then this will be an opportunity to explore new avenues into the city of God.
This guidebook may be used as an occasional tool for different ways to pray, but it is primarily designed to help us become people of prayer. There is no particular order to how you might use this book, and there is no particular pace. You may complete a chapter each week going straight through the guidebook, or you may move around in the guidebook and stay with a practice as long as you like. Some practices will be truly helpful and will awaken life in you. Some chapters might not be helpful at all. This guidebook is designed for anyone whether you are a new believer or a saint for fifty years.
At the end of each chapter you will find prayer stories. The storytellers are people ranging in age from twenty to eighty. There are men and women, new Christians and lifelong believers, pastors, business people, students, mothers and fathers, ordinary folk representing a wide variety of ethnic diversity and Christian backgrounds. Some have told me their stories. Others have written them down for me. I have collected these stories over the years hoping to share them one day with a wider audience. They have inspired me. I hope they inspire you. These are people who have found their own “roadness to God” through prayer. Some have asked that their real name be disguised to protect others.
Though I felt called to serve God as a little girl and though I made a confession of faith at a neighborhood Good News Bible club at the age of ten, I struggled with following Christ. My family life was dysfunctional with an unfaithful and distracted mother. My father traveled often as an Air Force pilot. When we lived on Guam, my mother finally left when I was eleven, leaving five children behind between the ages of two and twelve. My dad kept us together, but it was not easy. The most vivid picture I have of him at that time was praying on his knees every morning by his bed. My father prayed.
I took on the role of caregiver, but I was confused and lonely. I lived to leave home. As I look back now, I believe the prayers of my father kept us all from going over the cliff. When I did leave for college, I was as lost as could be in every sort of way. I was searching for what I hadn’t experienced—someone who saw me there alone, knew me and loved me.
During my first summer home, my new stepmother arranged for me to be a counselor at a Christian high school camp. I was appalled. I wasn’t sure I even believed in God anymore. I tried to get out of it, but in the end there I was assigned to a group of teenage girls. Every night there was an altar call—the very same one every night. On the last night I was desperate to have a different life. I wanted the joy of the young people around me. I accepted Christ.
I vividly remember going back to college and walking to class thinking, “What now? I guess I should talk to God. How do I do that? What do you say?” I just started talking to God. It felt awkward but real. No one discipled me or taught me how to walk this new life in Christ. I stumbled along, and God watched over me as I learned about this new journey.
Since that day it has become my passion to walk with people in prayer and to remove all the obstacles that I can and to pray in faith that God will remove others. In some ways I still feel like that college girl haltingly talking to God as I walk. In other ways, I feel like a wounded warrior after many personal difficulties and after walking with people who have had horrific challenges. But I still pray. I believe in prayer. I’ve seen it work in my life and others. Healings, forgiveness, visions, quiet deserts, worship, wisdom, intercession, blessing and new life have all come from praying. I’ve practiced every prayer in this book. Some I’ve developed. Others are classic ways of praying. The stories I tell are true stories from real people like you and like me. Some of the stories are mine, but except for two times I have chosen to use aliases. In the end I am a companion with you, still discovering what it means to be in a love relationship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Enjoy the journey. It is worth every step.
Bondi, Roberta C. To Pray & to Love: Conversations on Prayer with the Early Church. Minneapolis: Fortress, 1991.
Foster, Richard J. Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home. New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992.
Hybels, Bill. Too Busy Not to Pray: Slowing Down to Be with God. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1998.
Willard, Dallas. Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1999.
Yancey, Philip. Prayer: Does It Make a Difference? Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2006.
God the Father
1
The God revealed in the Christian Scripture is, in essence, plurality in oneness: three persons in one being, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, all eternally bonded together in the original community of oneness, in the embrace of the interpersonal dynamics that the Bible describes best when it summarily affirms that “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16).
Gilbert Bilezikian
Insects crawl Fish swim Birds fly Humans pray.
Leonard Sweet
When you meet people for the very first time, you immediately begin gathering impressions about them. Are they quiet? Outgoing? Content? Sad? If you were to open the Bible for the very first time and you knew nothing about God, you would meet the God of Genesis 1 and 2. In the beginning of Scripture, God is known as the Creator in Community. God creates out of nothing and makes it good. And God creates in community and for community. The very first way that we know God is that God made us and made us for connection.
Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”
So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Gen 1:26-27)
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” (Gen 2:18)
Being made in the image of God, we are designed for relationship with our Maker and with each other. It is not good for us to be alone. God desires connection with us, and we desire connection with God and others. Prayer is the simplest and most intimate way in which we can connect to God. Because we are made in God’s image and God is manifested in the Trinity as God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ, one in three Persons, we too are most alive and most true to ourselves when we are in community. C. Baxter Kruger, trinitarian theologian (and fishing lure designer) wrote this:
God is not some faceless, all-powerful abstraction. God is Father, Son and Spirit, existing in a passionate and joyous fellowship. . . . The Trinity is a circle of shared life, and the life shared is full, not empty, abounding and rich and beautiful, not lonely and sad and boring. The river begins right there, in the fellowship of the Trinity.1
A few years ago I asked my friend June (one of the women I call on Mother’s Day every year, a devoted Christ-follower, a professor of psychology and a counselor). “June,” I said, “can you put something in clinical terms for me?”
“Anything I can do,” she said—already laughing.
“How do you say, ‘when people hang out, they rub off on each other’ in clinical speak?”
“It looks something like this: In the natural and normal course of human interaction, attitudes and behaviors are mutually modified at both a high and a low level of awareness.”
That God seeks our friendship is astounding. It is indeed motivated by divine Love. It is our only hope of transformation on all levels.
—Wilson Parrish
Psychologists and social scientists have conclusively observed that the emotional attachment of a healthy, loving parent with his or her child results in a healthy, loving child. When we are unable to attach for whatever reason, our mental health is unstable and our outlook on the world and on ourselves is skewed. God is perfectly whole and loving, and when we relate to God our lives begin to resonate with God’s character and nature. When we pray with others, we become in tune to each other. In the Garden of Eden, God would walk and talk with Adam and Eve. They would visit each day. It was a completely natural and even ordinary relationship.
We are created to be in relationship with God and others, so we are always seeking stabilization with others. Our humanity is precisely this—that we are most human when we connect. God as our Creator is most able to provide a foundation of love and worth in the midst of life’s challenges when we connect regularly to God. In the same way that we greet our loved ones each day, we greet God. In the same way we call and check in, we connect to God. With prayer we are bonded to our Maker and Sustainer.
Before the fall, prayer was not called “prayer.” Adam and Eve walked and talked with God. They had conversation and time together. After the fall when our natural connection was broken, prayer became more occasional. The first mention of prayer after the fall is found in Genesis 4:26: “At that time people began to invoke the name of the Lord.” People in the Old Testament began to pray after the fall. Throughout the Old Testament there are many forms of prayer—daily routine prayers, desperation prayers, guidance prayers, celebration prayers and petition prayers. The most basic of prayers are the prayers done together in community, often called “liturgical” or written prayers.
The purposefulness of saying each word aloud, to God, stirred something I don’t know how to describe. I love listening to God, but speaking to him doesn’t come easily, and I don’t know why. Praying a liturgy of psalms aloud makes a difference for me. I feel more connected in my prayer time. The repetition allows the meaning of the words to soak in. I stay focused rather than let my thoughts stray. I want to keep praying like this and see how my relationship with God grows through it.
—Cheryl Flaim
Worship in the Old Testament tradition involved saying prayers aloud in community, especially using the Psalms. Deuteronomy 11:13 describes the nature of prayer for the Jewish people: “If you will only heed his every commandment that I am commanding you today—loving the LORD your God, and serving him with all your heart and with all your soul.” To love and serve God with all your heart and soul meant to pray. It was called the avodah sheba-lev, service from the heart. The structure for prayer is called the Shemoneh Esrie, which consists of eighteen (later nineteen) blessings. The prayer structure contains the basics of prayer: praise, petition and thanksgiving.2
Prayer was a part of life experienced in worship and by praying three times a day. The prayers were a combination of written words that included Scripture verses and words that brought to remembrance God’s character and promises and the people’s covenantal response. Always there was a place for people to pray their own personal prayers during the recitation of the Shemoneh Esrie. Three times a day, morning, afternoon, and evening, Jewish people would stop to pray, men and women. There were extensive prayer versions and shorter ones to accommodate individuals’ prayer time frames.
It is not clear where the habit of praying three times a day originated. However, it probably corresponded with the temple sacrifices, which were offered three times a day, and it recognized the three patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. We also know that David and Daniel prayed three times a day. For us, it is clear that prayer is a regular way to connect with God and be reminded of God’s grace and goodness. It is a time to adore God and bring our concerns to God, and also for God to love us and respond to us.
Prayers were said standing, kneeling, lying flat on the ground, sitting or raising hands. Prayers were said in the temple or in one’s bedroom or by the roadside. Not many contemporary Christians have a habit of praying three times a day, but we can choose to have regular times to connect with God and others. Time, place and manner help create space for prayer. Another necessary element is attentiveness to God. Attentiveness is an awareness that we are in God’s presence, and God is in ours. The Jewish people call it kavanah, a proper concentration or focus. Simply put, it is a sincere desire to enter God’s presence. We give our attention to someone with whom we are talking. We focus on the person. In the same way, we focus on God.
I have always enjoyed praying Scripture aloud to God. It helps me form pictures in my mind that I may have never been able to conjure given all of the noise in my head or trouble in my heart. This was an especially trying week for me emotionally, so it was wonderful to have a set, structured way to approach God with some very powerful words of praise to him. I worked over each word in my mind and heart as I read them aloud, trying to focus on him. This prayer was very powerful for me.
—Michael Mahon
In the Jewish tradition, psalms are prayed aloud. The faithful stand as individuals together in worship and surrounded by all the faithful throughout time. There is a very present nature to prayer and also a timeless aspect. Those from the beginning and millions since David have prayed the psalms. And into the future, people will pray these prayers. Saying written prayers such as the psalms or prayers written by faithful men and women in the past has several advantages.
First, we become part of the great community of faithful from the Old Testament people to Jesus to today. We are not alone or isolated. We also become part of the community of faithful all around the world in every country and tongue. We might not understand their words, but when we say psalms together we are saying the same words for that day. Second, we are challenged to pray things we might not normally pray. The psalms cover the full gamut of human experiences. Some we would rather avoid. Some psalms we love and others cause discomfort. By praying all the psalms we are stretched by God’s Word and we allow God to teach us and shape us. Many of the psalms shift from lament to praise. We are invited to experience all the emotions and challenges of our humanity such as betrayal, illness, confession, anger, pleading and thanksgiving. Praying prayers written by the faithful connects us to God and each other.
The term
community prayer
is also referred to as “liturgical” prayer. Liturgical prayers are written prayers used by a community of believers to connect together to God.
The phrase
liturgical prayers
can suggest to people staleness and ritualism without faith. However, praying authentically in this manner is personal and full of meaning. These prayers require a sincere desire to enter into God’s presence together.
The psalms, prayers written by saints or prayers written for special occasions by participants are all possible forms of liturgical prayers. They invite us into common human experiences.
Liturgical prayers are often assigned to specific days of the year with Scripture verses and sometimes meditations.
These prayers can be said privately, but the backdrop is people everywhere using the same prayers to come together with God. The point is to experience God together. The purpose is to remember God throughout our days.
All aspects of our life are brought to God, and the prayers remind us of God’s sovereignty and goodness. The psalms and written prayers protect us from hyper-individualism, which can create God in our own image.
Community prayers are prayers of trust that God is good, present and yearns to be with us.
Community prayers are especially helpful when one is struggling with despair, ill health or difficult circumstances. The community of the faithful surrounds us.
Group Experience
In the Talmud it reads, “Whoever recites Psalm 145 three times a day is assured of a place in the time to come.” This doesn’t mean that saying the psalm saves us, but that the words are so powerful they remind us over and over about the true character of God, and thus we are changed.
Instructions: The group leader prepares a handout with the
Shema
and Psalm 145 printed out so everyone has a copy. Explain the prayer before experiencing it.
Everyone stands with feet together facing in the same direction. (If you desire, you can face toward Jerusalem to remember the land and place where God led the chosen and where Jesus came in the flesh.)
Begin by reciting together the
Shema
(a central prayer for the Jews and a declaration of faith in one God). A partial version is below (Deut 6:4-9).
Sh’ma Yisrael
Hear, O, Israel
Adonai Elohaynu
Adonai is our God
Adonai Echad
Adonai is one
Baruch Shem
Holy One of Blessing
Kavod malchuto
Your Presence radiates glory
l’olam va-ed
now and forever
Move to the
Amidah—
the experience of standing and praying together in community when we are seeking God. We each seek a special place to experience our own “burning bush.” During this part of the prayer, speak the psalm out loud but to yourself. We each audibly say the psalm at our own pace. We enter into the experience as individuals but with others saying the same verses at their own pace. The pray-er can take three steps forward and bow, signifying respect for Almighty God. Upon conclusion of each reading of Psalm 145, the pray-er takes three steps back. When ready, move forward again three steps and repeat the process until you have said Psalm 145 three times. The experience is over when everyone has finished and a designated leader says, “Amen.”
After the prayer discuss in small groups about the prayer time. What was meaningful? What was difficult? How did you experience God and the others who were praying? What aspects of community prayer might enhance your personal prayer life?
Partner Experience
For Jewish people each day of the week has a particular psalm: Sunday is Psalm 24, Monday Psalm 48, Tuesday Psalm 82, Wednesday Psalm 94, Thursday Psalm 81, Friday Psalm 93 and Saturday Psalm 92. Start by using these psalms. If you want to continue for subsequent weeks you can choose your own psalms to pray, or you may begin with Psalm 1 and complete one each day, or follow the psalms in the daily lectionary.
Stand and say the psalm aloud three times (unless you have chosen one of the longer psalms, then adjust which sections you plan to read aloud). If you would like, take three steps forward at the beginning of the psalm, and three steps back at the end of each psalm as preparation for entering God’s presence.
Plan to meet with your prayer partner as many days of the week as you can to pray the psalm for the day together. If you cannot meet physically, pray the psalm together on the phone or Skype or with an electronic device that allows for a face-to-face encounter.
Remember these psalms were prayed by Jesus and in worship together with his disciples. Discuss your experience together. Did any words or phrases resonate with you? Did anything cause you confusion? Sometimes God speaks to us in the quiet and sometimes in the questions.
Individual Experience
Pray the psalm for the day by yourself and aloud following the same pattern of standing, taking three steps forward and then back at the end of the psalms as explained in the group experience above. Journal about your experience. What drew you to God today or helped you with your spiritual walk?
You may also use the Book of Common Prayer and follow the prayers for the day. There are many wonderful books with daily prayers and Scripture, such as
Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals
and
Celtic Daily Prayer.
A suggested list is found at the end of the chapter.
If you like the idea of praying with others but are unable to, you may find a prayer place online, such as missionstclare.com, which has a recorded choir and music for hymns. Sacredspace.ie is an online site that guides you through small prayers, questions and meditations. Many others such as Christian-prayers.com and prayergroup.org respond to your prayer requests and allow you to pray with persons around the world. Pray-as-you-go.org allows you to download daily prayers.
The Prayer Journey
Mark Franklin
When you pray, you are never alone. These simple words at the end of the daily prayers on sacredspace.ie launched me on a new perspective on prayer. The totally obvious yet mind-shattering revelation that other people, perhaps a great number of people, were concurrently participating in prayer with me shook me out of my fixed view of prayer. It is not, after all, between me and God—it is between me and God and everyone else in the world who is praying. I am humbled because I am now unable to pray without remembering I am but one of a vast multitude before the throne of God. I am encouraged for exactly the same reason.
Experiencing prayer in this way made my daily experiences less frustrating; it mattered less if I felt the presence of God in the way I thought I “should” during prayer. Instead, I felt the power of the community of believers. As time went on God used conversation with others to teach me that I truly participate in the communion of all the saints when I pray. God has been teaching me that when I am speaking to him, I am speaking in concert with everyone who ever cried out to God throughout history. I was experiencing God in a new and bigger way.
As I prayed in the shadow of all the saints, I began to experience what I will call unintentional prayer. Whenever I gathered with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I found myself praying. Not aloud, not as some kind of ritual, but as an internal reflex. My thoughts took on a quality of speaking to God, rather than to myself. The most shocking change was that I listened for a response from God in the voices of my brothers and sisters—and found it. God really was speaking through his people, and he had given me eyes to see it. I was again forced to reevaluate what prayer was. I had already discarded the idea that prayer was just between me and God. Now I found myself questioning if prayer is communication in the way I thought of it. If my internal voice is becoming prayerful by God’s grace, is prayer communication—or transformation? The frustrations of my prayer life faded in the wonder at God’s transformational ability. He had made prayer an experience of community beyond any I had before and transformed an internal part of me where I hid sinful attitudes like envy and anger—using one line on a prayer website from Ireland.
Rick Adams
One August I heard a rabbi teaching that if we would promise God that we would do something at the same time every day for the rest of our life, it would change us. I once more began a process I hoped would bring about a change in me for the better. I read that a pious Jew would read Psalms 145–150 every day before prayer, just to get into the right attitude. I promised the Lord that this is what I would do every day at 5:00 a.m. for the rest of my life. Of course I have started these kinds of projects before only to find that I couldn’t fast one day, certainly not forty days.
The first three weeks were difficult. I started writing down prayers for people and reading these after I finished my psalm ritual. This was great because it kept me from praying for the things I wanted. As my list grew longer I found more and more people and their situations coming to my mind instead of my usual financial fears about the future.
After a couple of months I noticed a kind of satisfaction developing in me. I eventually recognized this as pride that I was following through with my promise. One morning I felt like God just wanted me to be still. This was a real issue because I had my routine and I kept track of my consecutive mornings, and I was now in the seventies. I felt like God was asking me if my routine was the main reason why I was getting up or if it was just to be with God. Sheepishly and reluctantly, I did not turn on my laptop. I sat still for about ninety minutes. I had no revelation and I did not hear God say anything, but I felt like I had a personal breakthrough.
My mornings have become precious to me, despite no breakthroughs and some prayers not answered. Mostly I do my routine, but every now and then I will feel like I am just supposed to be still or read Scripture. I wait expectantly, not knowing exactly what I am waiting or hoping for, but nonetheless happy that I am waiting.
I have learned that it is quite all right to use my lists, read, pace or lie across the ottoman downstairs, as long as I don’t come to believe that any one or combination of these things is somehow necessary.
I don’t see any changes in myself, but my wife says I have changed dramatically. She says I am more relaxed, easygoing and attentive. All I know for sure is that when the alarm goes off at five I get up with expectancy, as though a friend is waiting for me. Speaking of a friend, my everyday prayer used to be for godly wisdom, discernment and understanding. I would finish my praying by telling God when I die it would be great to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Now the desire of my heart is that when I breathe my last, I so much want to hear God say, “Welcome home, old friend.”
Claiborne, Shane, Jonathan Wilson-Hargrove and Enuma Okoro. Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2010.
Peterson, Eugene. Praying with the Psalms: A Year of Daily Reflections and Prayers on the Words of David. New York: HarperCollins, 1993.
The Northumbria Community. Celtic Daily Prayer: Prayers and Readings from the Northumbria Community. New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 2002.
Tickle, Phyllis, compiler. The Divine Hours, pocket edition. New York: Oxford University Press, 2007.
2
God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers.
Abdul Kalam, Indian statesman
In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.
Genesis 1:1-4