Adulting 101 Book 1 E-Book

Josh Burnette

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 272

Beschreibung

Adulting (verb): To do grown-up things and have responsibilities such as a working full time, paying rent, or owning a car. Basic life skills go mostly untaught in classrooms, so graduates are on their own to figure out how to live successfully in the world. Without any guidance, where do you start? Adulting 101 is a clever, practical, and timely guide to show how to: - Find a job and be wildly successful at work - Buy the items you need as an adult (apartment, car, insurance) - Set goals, prioritize, and get work done - Communicate professionally and effectively - Save and invest wisely - Navigate personal and professional relationships - Avoid the common mistakes of being out on your own - And much, much moreThis book will give you what you need to succeed and make a real impact, inspiring you to change the world and be the person you were meant to be.

Leseprobe

Adulting 101 is a must-read book for anyone, whether you are just entering the “real world” or have been in it for decades. The timeless principles shared by Josh and Pete will have you referencing the book for years to come.

—Andy Stanley, author, communicator, and founder of North Point Ministries

I love meeting young leaders who are eager to change the world. In their new book, Adulting 101, Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty provide a much needed, practical guide for the next generation of world changers. Their inside out approach to personal change will inspire readers to cultivate a growth mindset essential for success in life.

—Dan T. Cathy, Chairman and CEO, Chick-fil-A, Inc.

It seems that some of the practical things an aspiring adult needs to know, like how to create a personal budget, interview for a job, or even take out a loan to buy a car are left to the “learn as you go” educational model. Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty are out to change that with this fantastic and insightful new book, Adulting 101. It is a great book and a useful resource for anyone trying to figure out some of the basics of being on their own.

—Governor Mike Huckabee, best-selling author and political commentator

In Adulting 101, Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty share practical, accessible, and authentic wisdom to help students navigate the transition from college to their lives as independent adults. This is a resource young adults can return to over and over again for advice.

—Jonathan R. Alger, President, James Madison University

Adulting 101 is a practical guide for one of the most exciting times in a person’s life. Josh and Pete have captured decades of experience and written a book every young person should read. Read it and apply what you learn. You’ll get a ten-year head start on adulthood!

—Mark Miller, best-selling author and speaker

I wish every young person would read this book! Whoever does and takes it to heart will be much more likely to lead a successful life. Warning: Pete and Josh have packed so much great advice and wisdom into this book—you will need to refer to it often to realize the full benefit.

—James M. Herr, Chairman, Herr Foods, Inc.

Adulting 101 is a hole-in-one! I wish I had this essential guide for adult life before I started competing on the tour. This book will help you build a world-class career and become personally fulfilled. If you are in your twenties, read this book! It is a game-changer. Adulting 101 should top the reading list for any graduate, parent, college student, or anyone working with adolescents.

—Brittany Lincicome, LPGA champion, @Brittany1golf

Pete and Josh know high school and college students very well, and they’ve written a book that tackles dozens of topics important to becoming an adult. I’m very impressed and encourage those who are “adulting” to read what these authors have written.

—Denny Rydberg, President Emeritus, Young Life

Adulting 101 is a practical and engaging guide on how to live an intentional life that leaves the world a better place than you knew it before. It’s both pragmatic and visionary and will help set young adults on a trajectory to live an extraordinary life.

—Ellie Holcomb, Dove Award-winning singer and songwriter

Are you between sixteen and twenty-nine years old? If so, Adulting 101 is a must-read—engaging and powerfully practical. If you follow the principles provided on its pages, you will increase your chances of being successful by 1,000 percent or even more. This is the book I wish someone had given me at that important age!

—Michael Licona, PhD, Associate Professor of Theology, Houston Baptist University

Adulting 101 is Real Talk. Learn from it. You’ll be glad you did. Apply its advice and you will be killing it, especially with what is most important in life. Maximum impact begins on a solid foundation, which you’ll find in this book.

—Mark Cathy, Chick-fil-A Inc., Operator Support and Cathy family member

Where was this when I started “adulting”? Pete and Josh lay out a road map for navigating life. Adulting 101 should be required reading for every twentysomething, but it may be just as valuable for seasoned adults who need a refresher on some of life’s important truths. It’s like a life manual in your pocket.

—Dave Alpern, President, Joe Gibbs Racing

Pete and Josh really know the relevant issues for college graduates, and they tackle each of these with wisdom clearly borne from years of experience. I’m going to recommend this book to my students and to my own children.

—Lee Coppock, PhD, Professor of Economics, Director of Undergraduate Studies, Economics Department, University of Virginia

Adulting 101 is a great resource for young people who are getting started in the real world. This book will help you launch into adulthood successfully, and it is relevant for every stage of life because it is principle-based. I believe Adulting 101 will be and should be read repeatedly, even by those in their “later” years.

—Ron Blue, author and Ronald Blue & Co. founder

As a leader in the US Army for the past twenty years, I have dedicated my life to transforming teenagers into the future leaders of our country. Adulting 101 contains very practical advice and vignettes to help our teenagers make a successful transition from our homes and into the world. I plan to use what I learned from Adulting 101 with my two teenagers.

—Col. Eric Lopez, US Army Ranger

Whatever you are currently experiencing in the crazy transitions of life, there is something in this book for you. This book has been a tremendous help transitioning to life on my own. You are not alone, and you can thrive. #LiveYourBestLife with #Adulting101.

—Jess Demayo, recent college graduate

Too many people complain that kids today have a hard time growing up. Well, it’s time we step up and help them out. Adulting 101 is a great book! Buy it for every high school junior or senior you know!

—Chap Clark, PhD, author of Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers

This powerful book is a must-read for helping people transition to a fulfilling and meaningful adulthood. Adulting 101 is a handbook filled with gems of practical tips and techniques. Pete and Josh are truly life teachers sharing from their hearts, souls, minds, and spirits.

—Mark Warner, Senior Vice President for Student Affairs, James Madison University

If you know a young person who is moving into the adult world, or if you know someone who is already in the adult world and floundering, then Adulting 101 will move you in a direction of fulfillment and success. I’m in the sunset years of life, and I found it to be a practical and fascinating read, even for me.

—Ken Davis, communication trainer, speaker, author, and grandpa

Pete has been a mentor to me for over twenty years. He’s had a profound impact on my life and leadership. In Adulting 101, Pete and Josh share their own experiences as they present practical wisdom for the journey of life. As a former military officer and current entrepreneur, I recommend this book to all aspiring leaders.

—Brett Gibson, Co-founder and Managing Partner at NextGen Venture Partners

In my forty-plus years of working with young people all over the world, this is one of the best resources I’ve seen to prepare adolescents for real life. Adulting 101 is a comprehensive guide to success after school. If you’re between the ages of sixteen and twenty-nine, this book could become one of your most important life mentors if you simply read and apply this book like your life depends on it, because it does.

—Dr. Lee Corder, NFL Chaplain Emeritus and Global Youth Mentorship Associate

In a culture where helicopter parenting has become the norm, this is a must-read for anyone who doesn’t want to be living in their parents’ basement at age twenty-nine.

—Drew Miller, middle school principal

In Adulting 101, Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty offer a comprehensive, practical guide to young adults to help them navigate decisions in ways that will pay dividends in the years ahead.

—Mark A. Yarhouse, PsyD, Rosemarie S. Hughes Endowed Chair and Professor of Psychology, Regent University

I wish Adulting 101 was written fifty years ago when I graduated. This book would have helped me become a better student and a better person in general—a better husband, parent, pastor, college professor, and dean. I highly recommend this book.

—Dr. Alex Awad, former Dean of Students, Bethlehem Bible College, Palestine, Israel

Filled with practical insight that high school and college students will have wanted to know ten years from today. Timely and actionable, Adulting 101 sets out the basics for winning in all spheres of life.

—Kyle Winey, college hacker, author of HACKiversity, #1 Amazon best-seller

Over the last twenty years, Pete has helped thousands of young people (including me) navigate our increasingly complex culture by helping them to identify their purpose and their priorities. Adulting 101 is an invaluable resource to young adults who are finding their way in this world.

—Danny T. K. Avula, MD, MPH, Public Health Director, City of Richmond, VA; Chair, Virginia State Board of Social Services

This might just be the single most important thing a twentysomething could read.

—Landon Dermott, recent college graduate

If you wonder what’s coming in the transition to the real world, this is the book for you. Josh and Pete have captured many of the basic principles that your parents thought you knew.

—Howard Griffith, PhD, Academic Dean and Professor of Systematic Theology, Reformed Theological Seminary, Washington, DC

After over twenty years on a campus, Pete Hardesty knows how to meet students right where they are. The straightforward wisdom, life skills, and practical revelations shared in Adulting 101 will undoubtedly benefit those graduating and heading out to launch into life.

—Nick Langridge, Vice President for University Advancement, James Madison University

I wish Josh and Pete had written Adulting 101 five years ago. I am confident my life would have been much easier. They give us guidance for overcoming nearly anything life throws at you.

—S. Martin, singer and songwriter

I have observed Pete and Josh firsthand connect powerfully with young adults. This book is a must-read for every college senior and graduate seeking to walk in wisdom in their relationships, work, and finances.

—Kristina Doubet, PhD, Professor of Education at James Madison University; author of Differentiation in Middle and High School: Strategies to Engage All Learners (ASCD)

This book is one of the best guides for a young person starting their journey that I’ve ever seen—especially if you want significant financial success. Read this book ASAP.

— Michael Basile, CEO at The Summit Investment Group

Pete has been my close friend and mentor for over twenty years. I am so excited that so many others will have the opportunity to benefit from this book and Pete’s wisdom, which has been transformative in my life. This is a must-read for those embarking on the great adventure of adulthood.

—Romesh Wijesooriya, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Division Chair of General Pediatrics, Children’s Hospital of Richmond at Virginia Commonwealth University

As an NFL player I’d have done well to have a resource like this book!

—J. Todd Peterson, NFL Placekicker 1993–2006; Chairman, Pro Athletes Outreach

Every now and then you meet someone that you respect and trust because what they say comes from being in the trenches of life with people. Pete is one of those people for me. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to any aspiring leader.

—Pat Goodman, Director of Men’s Ministry, Grace Fellowship Church, Baltimore, MD

Take these tips in Adulting 101, and you can’t go wrong. This book is a map for navigating life after school and a how-to manual for extreme success. Josh and Pete will help you grow up.

—Rafa Campos, professional golfer

Pete uses his wide experience as a leader of youth to write on subjects close to the heart of teenagers.

—Botrus Mansour, General Director of Nazareth Baptist School, Nazareth, Israel

Pete and Josh ask the right questions and tackle them head on. The book is not just for emerging adults but for parents, teachers, coaches, ministers, and all who want the next generation to become world changers.

—Mike Gaffney, Vice President, Young Life College and University

I quickly learned upon graduating college that I lacked some of the necessary tools to help me succeed in the real world. Adulting 101 equipped me with life skills that are essential for adulthood and helped launch me. It is funny, relevant, and essential for the young adult who is wondering how to live a life that matters.

—Kelsey Swift, recent college graduate

I’ve had the privilege of knowing Pete for nearly twenty years. This book, which I consumed in one sitting, gives intensely practical advice for every young collegian to digest. This book will help the reader avoid countless heartbreaks. I predict it will be a blessing to countless young people. I intend to give it to my twenty-year-old son.

—Dan Flynn, Director of Theological Development, Great Lakes Region, Cru

This book is practical, easy to understand, and totally profound all at the same time. As a supervisor to many millennials, I would make this required reading.

—Lawson McNeil, founder, Blue Sky Fund

Adulting 101 is a gift to all graduates. It’s the map you’ve been looking for. Whether it’s getting a job, navigating relationships, or understanding the complexity of budgeting and insurance, Adulting 101 offers a feast of wisdom in bite-sized portions.

—Drew Hill, author of “Alongside: Loving Teenagers with the Gospel” and editor of “The Young Life Leader Blog”

Most people only turn the corner into adulthood once. Pete’s done it countless times as he’s devoted his life to developing college students into mature men and women. His wisdom is a treasured resource for emerging adults and those who mentor them.

—C. J. Goeller, Intervarsity Campus Director, James Madison University

Adulting 101 is packed with thoughtful, realistic and much-needed advice for young adults but in a fun and lighthearted approach. It’s a game-changer! This is a perfect, anytime gift, and I will be giving copies to the young men I work with.

—Daniel Alexander, Sigma Nu House Director, University of Tennessee

In Adulting 101, Pete and Josh have compiled a key resource for you as an early twentysomething beginning your life journey. Keep this book handy to see what you should be considering as you make life decisions.

—Russ Crosson, author and Chief Mission Officer for Ronald Blue Trust

I have received life-changing guidance and wisdom from Pete for the last twenty years. I can’t think of a more qualified person to write this book. Adulting 101 will help you accomplish your goals and be the person you’ve always wanted to be. If you are nearing graduation or are on your own for the first time, read this ASAP.

—Steve Canter, college football coach and performance consultant, The CanterZone LLC

Sometimes life lessons come the hard way. Adulting 101 smooths the rough road and will spare young people (and the people who mentor young people) headaches that can easily be avoided.

—Sean McGever, Professor, College of Theology at Grand Canyon University

Adulting 101 is for anyone who has said, “Nobody told me that!” I find myself using this insightful book as a home base for my life strategy.

—Will Jarrett, recent college graduate

Adulting 101 should be a required textbook in our schools and homes! This resource could be a game-changer for parents who want to come alongside their children and truly prepare them for a successful adult life.

—Reverend Brandon Watson, Minister to Young Adults, Immanuel Baptist Church, Little Rock, AR

Adulting 101 will serve for many as a safe place to discover that they are not alone in their struggles to discover the secrets of independence in this new season of life.

—Chris Lawson, Chief Creative Officer, Everyday Exiles

Adulting 101 is a terrific resource to give you practical tools, so that you can live your life in such a way that it leaves a distinguishing mark for all of eternity.

—Mark Henry, Teaching Pastor, Fellowship Bible Church, Little Rock, AR

Empowering, encouraging, and enlightening—this book is a game-changer!

—Jody Jean Dreyer, thirty-year Disney veteran and author of Beyond the Castle: A Guide to Discovering Your Happily Ever After

Adulting 101 highlights key lessons for evolving into adulthood. The tips and tricks emphasized in the book aren’t taught in schools, and they will help to prepare you for real-world experiences.

—Sidney Webb, student, University of Arkansas

This book is packed with valuable advice that will help you navigate the open waters of adulthood where most of the obstacles are hidden from view. Consider Adulting 101 your map.

—Ben Arment, author of Dream Year

Pete is the most qualified person I know to write this book. I’m so excited to add Adulting 101 to my resource library.

—Peter Eberly, Church Planter/Lead Pastor, Eastside Church, Harrisonburg, VA

Adulting 101 is a must-read for young people. It’s full of all the things you wish they would teach in school, but they rarely do. It’s real, relatable, and easy to read all while giving students the edge they need to be successful in life.

—Amanda Jaeger, news anchor, Miss Kansas America 2014

As a graduate with a yearning to wring out every ounce of life, this book is exactly the tool I needed.

—Bryson Wong, recent college graduate

This book is an excellent starting point to outline the basics of what financial understanding and responsibility as an adult looks like.

—Austin Bryan, CFP®, Financial Adviser

I’ve heard wisdom defined as “being skillful in the art of living.” For over twenty-five years, I’ve known Pete Hardesty and seen him demonstrate great wisdom time and time again. He has helped countless high school and college students successfully make the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Adulting 101 is full of practical wisdom and will be a great resource for any young adult.

—Danny O’Brien, founder and CEO, Avila Home Care

Adulting 101 equips and enables the reader with the tools they need in their transition into adulthood. In addition, it serves as a great reminder for those of us who are already there (or who think we are) to never stop in the learning process.

—Matt Summitt, investment banker

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

ADULTING 101:#WISDOMFORLIFE

Copyright © 2018 Josh Burnette and Pete Hardesty

ISBN 978-1-4245-5636-6 (softcover)

ISBN 978-1-4245-5637-3 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Disclaimer: The purpose of this book is to provide helpful information around the areas discussed. The authors and publisher recommend you seek professional help as needed and cannot take personal responsibility for how the reader applies the information and its ultimate results.

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email [email protected].

Cover by Chris Garborg at garborgdesign.com

Interior by Katherine Lloyd at theDESKonline.com

Printed in China18 19 20 21 22 5 4 3 2 1

CONTENTS

Introduction

You Can Change the World

PART 1: YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE

1

#TheHearseAndTheUHaul

Have you ever seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul? Your personal mission statement should begin with the end in mind. Find out what really matters in life and why.

2

#LeavingAWake

Your life matters! Your actions leave ripple effects on every person you interact with. Learn how to maximize that opportunity for impact.

PART 2: GET A JOB

3

#PurpleHairInterview

Many people interview, but only one gets the job. Stand out from your peers by getting inside the mind of an interviewer and learning how to succeed.

4

#BeProfessional

Does being on time really matter? What if I just want to “be myself” and wear what I want? Does e-mail etiquette actually impact my career? Rise above your peers by learning how to engage in the work place.

5

#LeadOrDie

Want to be wildly successful at work? The secret is, it’s not about you! The top leadership tips and tricks to succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

PART 3: RELATIONSHIPS

6

#ChemistryCompetence

Relationships require emotional intelligence. Learn how to grow this crucial skill for work and at home.

7

#ItsComplicated

Dive into the hard questions about dating, marriage, and sex. What gives you the best opportunity for happiness in marriage? What do you need to know before you commit?

PART 4: I WANT TO BE RICH

8

#C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rules Everything Around Me)

Systematic steps that anyone can follow to become a millionaire. Yes, you! You can do it. Discover an abundance mentality with your finances and never be broke again.

9

#BudgetingBasics

This chapter teaches the foundational principles needed to become wealthy. It all begins with creating a budget. But how?

10

#LittleHinges

Find out the single most effective way to grow your money. Learn the best ways to save what you earn. This will change your life.

11

#StillEatingRamenAt70

Investing can feel overwhelming and complicated. Here it is broken down into a few simple steps to follow when you are young. You can get started today!

PART 5: HOW TO NOT LOSE AT THE GAME OF MONEY

12

#NeverPayTheSticker

Buying a car is often the largest purchase for a young adult. Avoid mistakes that will cost you for years to come.

13

#GetAnApartment

What are the differences between buying an apartment and a house? Which one should you buy, or should you rent? Learn about the major differences and costs associated with both.

14

#AdultsNeedInsurance

There is insurance for everything. What type(s) do you need? From where? This chapter gives a high-level overview of what to get and what to avoid.

15

#INeedCredit

Everyone has a credit score, but do you understand it? Get to know how your credit score is calculated and how to have the best score possible.

PART 6: TIME MANAGEMENT

16

#BigRocks

Time management. Priorities. How to get more done in less time. Maximize each day and be less stressed doing it.

17

#SMARTGoals

Successful people create goals. Don’t be left behind. Learn how to not only set goals but achieve them.

PART 7: FOUNDATIONS

18

#TheTopButton

How to live your life to the fullest. The most important chapter in this entire book. Don’t miss it!

19

#YouKnowYouAreAnAdultWhen

A compilation of life wisdom/advice from years of getting it wrong and occasionally getting it right.You will leave this chapter better off than you started it. *Ignore at your own risk.

Appendix 1

How to Crush College

A systematic plan to do exceedingly well in college – tips for studying, making friends, interacting with professors, and more.

Appendix 2

Life after College: How to Enter the Real World—Month 1

How to successfully launch after leaving school. Welcome to the real world!

Notes

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

INTRODUCTION

YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

“I don’t know what goes where. I’ve never filled out a check before.”

I thought the college sophomore was kidding with me. But he wasn’t. He was paying for an overnight excursion trip we were going on with about one hundred and fifty students, and he didn’t know how to write the check to pay for it.

“Can you tell me which address goes where?” A junior asked me this question as we were writing thank-you notes to people who had helped with a fundraiser. Again, I thought he was kidding. Nope. He didn’t know where to write the recipient’s address or the return address on a piece of mail.

That was when I realized that most of the students I worked with were not prepared for real life. They had studied in school for twelve grades (thirteen including kindergarten) and then four-plus years in college, yet after those sixteen-plus years, they were still lacking some of the basic adult “survival skills.”

And although the checkbook and postal problems mentioned above are fairly easy to remedy (we can Google how to do just about anything these days), having some real-life survival skills can keep young people from literally ruining their lives.

I know someone who racked up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt (starting after high school with the purchase of a big-screen TV) because he never acquired financial survival skills. Both he and his wife are now working two jobs to pay for mistakes he made years ago.

But I’m going to make a difference in this world, you’re probably thinking. And my credit card balance isn’t that high.

We also believe you’re here on this earth to be a world-changer. You matter, and your life has an incredible purpose. So part of this next stage of the journey as a “new adult” is to find out what matters to you—spiritually, emotionally, physically, and relationally—and how you will give yourself to these things.

Most people want to make a difference. If you don’t, you can just stop reading right here. This book is meant for people who want to leave this world a better kind of different than they found it.

But you probably also need a job, a place to live, and a budget.

Oh, man, you sound like my parents.

And you’ve probably got questions about dating, relationships, and marriage.

Okay, you really do sound like them. Stop.

We’re going to try to not sound like parents, and instead sound like two guys who have also been trying to be world-changers as we’ve become adults. We’ve learned a ton from our mistakes, as well as from wisdom we’ve sought out and that’s graciously been given to us along the way. As you seek to make your mark on this world, we want you to thrive, not just survive.

HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD

James Hunter, in his volume To Change the World, suggests that change happens from the top down. We would like to suggest it also happens from the inside out.

How do you change the world? It starts with … drumroll, please … you. You’re not in control of the world, but you are in control of yourself—how you think, feel, and behave.

Think of this book as a greenhouse. What happens in a greenhouse? Growth. How? The conditions in the greenhouse are set for optimal growth. What we will talk about for the rest of the book is how to set the conditions of your life (that you are in control of) for growth.

Growth doesn’t just happen. It involves hard work, effort, and intentionality. What is your personal growth plan? Do you have one? (See chapter 18.) How will you get better? Zig Ziglar, a famous American author and speaker, would say, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”1

This book is designed to be a practical guide to a life well lived. We hope to help you chart a course for your life from the fifty-thousand-foot view, but also help you right down on the runway.

In this book, you will be equipped with:

•An exercise on how to discern your mission in life and give your life to what matters

•Tips and tricks on how to be wildly successful at work

•A step-by-step guide to your finances so you can become a millionaire (yes, we said millionaire)

•Goal-setting and time-management skills so you can spend more time doing what you love and less time doing what you hate

•Simple, easy-to-understand counsel on complicated topics such as insurance, credit, purchasing cars and homes, and more

•Research on how to do well in the first few months in college or after graduation

•Instruction for building better relationships with those around you and caring for people in a deeper way

•And much more

This book is about surveying your life for the long term but also practically helping you with the day-to-day. It’s about how to have impact, how to live a life of excellence and legacy, and how to get the most out of life. You want the life of the person you admire, but they paid a price for the life they have lived. They sacrificed, worked hard, took chances, grinded it out, and continued to press on through hard circumstances. And they were rewarded.

You’re at the beginning of your journey. You have vast adventures that lie ahead.

You want to be a world-changer.

You were meant to be a world-changer.

Let’s release you to be a world-changer.

1

#THEHEARSEANDTHEUHAUL

The phone rang. I (Pete) was the only one in the office so I answered it. A deep, gravelly man’s voice said, “I need to speak with the person in charge of your chapter at Princess Anne High School.”

Uh-oh. These calls could be trouble. I was on staff with a nonprofit organization that worked with high school students, and we never knew what to expect with these kinds of calls. Often, they were from parents worried about their kids.

“I’m the one in charge,” I said. “How can I help?”

“We need to have a meeting,” the bellowing voice said.

“Okay. May I ask what it will be in reference to?”

“I want to know how I can help you.”

Phew. I felt like I had dodged a bullet, and the next week I met a man who would change my life forever. His name was Jack Birsch, and at the time, he was well over three hundred pounds, had a shiny bald head, and was smoking a big cigar. At noon. In a Holiday Inn restaurant (one of the few places left in Virginia Beach that allowed smoking). It was the beginning of a friendship that would change me forever.

We started meeting once every couple of weeks, then every week for an hour, and then every week for two hours. Jack had a twinkle in his eye and a way with words. He was big on grace. He was big on love. And he had a big personality.

After we had met several times, he asked me a question I would never forget. It would become a splinter in my mind. “Have you ever seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul?”

I thought about it. “No.”

“Of course you haven’t,” he said. “Because naked you come and naked you go. So you better find out what matters in this life and give yourself to it wholeheartedly.”

Jack asked me that question every few weeks until it became engrained on my heart. As I got to know him, I realized that the impact of his life was still echoing all over Virginia Beach and the world. It seemed like almost every day I would meet someone who would say, “Oh, Jack? He was a huge influence in my life. He showed up when I needed him most.”

BEGIN WITH THE END RESULT IN MIND

Take a minute to think about your funeral. Pleasant, I know. But close your eyes and imagine what it would be like. Who will be there and what will they say? If you passed away tonight, how would you be remembered? Would people be sad or indifferent? Who would be there saying you made an impact on them? Have you made a difference in this world?

Unsettling, isn’t it? Morbid? Sobering? Yes, it is. We all think we’re going to live forever. But here’s the reality: the death rate is holding steady at one per person. You will die. It’s just a matter of when and how.

One of my mentors, Ralph (I called him Rev), had people from many countries come to his funeral. They traveled from all over the world to honor and pay their respects to someone who had impacted their life. Rev found out what mattered during his life.

We are temporary stewards of everything in our life. We are to responsibly manage what we have while we’re here, but none of it goes with us when we die. This may seem disappointing at first, but really, it’s good news. It is freeing. No possessions last forever, nor are they meant to. Dead people can’t enjoy their stuff.