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- Herausgeber: IVP Formatio
- Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012
Your personal rule of life is a holistic description of the Spirit-empowered rhythms and relationships that create, redeem, sustain and transform the life God invites you to humbly fulfill for Christ's glory. All of us have an unwritten personal rule of life. We wake at certain times, get ready for our days in particular ways, use our free time for assorted purposes and practice rhythms of work, hobbies, and worship. There is already a rule in place that you are following. Isn?t it time to give up your unwritten rule and prayerfully write one that more closely matches the heartbeat of God? In this practical workbook Stephen A. Macchia looks to St. Benedict as a guide for discovering your own rule of life in community. It is a process that takes time and concerted effort; you must listen to God and discern what he wants you to be and do for his glory. But through the basic disciplines of Scripture, prayer and reflection in a small group context you will be lead forward in a journey toward Christlikeness. The invitation is transformational, so brace yourself for sweet release. By letting go and trusting God, you will receive the gift of life in its fullest and richest form.
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STEPHEN A. MACCHIA Foreword by Mark Buchanan
Crafting a Rule of Life
An Invitation to the Well-Ordered Way
www.IVPress.com/books
InterVarsity Press P.O. Box 1400 Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426 World Wide Web: www.ivpress.com E-mail: [email protected]
© 2012 by Stephen A. Macchia
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.
InterVarsity Press® is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA®, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, write Public Relations Dept. InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, 6400 Schroeder Rd., P.O. Box 7895, Madison, WI 53707-7895, or visit the IVCF website at www.intervarsity.org.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
While all stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Cover design: Cindy Kiple Images: ©Geoff Eley/Trevillion Images
ISBN 978-0-8308-6976-3 (digital) ISBN 978-0-8308-3564-5 (print)
This book is dedicated to the many relationships that have created, redeemed, sustained and transformed the life God has invited me to humbly fulfill for his glory:
My dearly loved family, Ruth, Nathan and Rebekah
Leadership Transformations, Inc., board of directors and ministry team
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary Pierce Center staff team and fellows
Beloved mentors, colleagues, extended family and friends, sisters and brothers in Christ who continue to pour life into my soul and companion me on the path of life
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
PART ONE: Framing Your Personal Rule of Life
1 Roles
2 Gifts
3 Desires
4 Vision
5 Mission
Personal Rule of Life Statements
PART TWO: Forming Your Personal Rule of Life
6 Time
7 Trust
8 Temple
9 Treasure
10 Talent
PART THREE: Fulfilling Your Personal Rule of Life
11 Commitment to the Body of Christ
12 Context of a Spiritual Community
Conclusion: An Invitation for the Well-Ordered Way
Resources for Creating a Communal Rule of Life
Suggested Reading on Church History Notables
Four Individuals Crafting Their Personal Rule of Life
Acknowledgments
Notes
Leadership Transformations Inc.
Praise for Crafting a Rule of Life
About the Author
About Formatio
More Titles from InterVarsity Press
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11
Foreword
This past week, as part of my pastoral rounds, I visited two women in their eighties. Both were in separate hospitals. I saw Elly on Monday and Elizabeth on Thursday. The first was a planned visit—Elly has been in extended care for several months, growing ever more brittle-boned, wispy-voiced, crepe-skinned, not long for this world. The second was unscheduled—Elizabeth took a tumble while doing her own daily rounds of visits to the weak and the ailing. She broke her hip and was awaiting emergency surgery. She lay in the hospital bed, quite cheerful on morphine, her bluish hair impeccably neat, and looked her usual sweet, formidable self. I’d give her another twenty years before she’s off to the wild blue yonder.
Both are living saints. They are women of deep goodness and fierce prayer and holy mischief. Elly, only a few years ago, wrote her autobiography. It’s called Counting My Blessings, which she’s spent a lifetime doing. We spent our visit counting more. She is a kind of abacus of thanksgiving in flesh and blood.
Elizabeth never misses an opportunity to tell anyone in earshot about the love of God. I know she’ll use her forced bed confinement for this: to her, it’s just a brilliant ploy of divine providence to place her in arms’ reach of a whole phalanx of hospital patients and medical staff. By the time she’s discharged, a small village will have heard the good news of great joy. I think the apostle Paul would have trouble keeping up with her.
I pay these kind of visits often enough. I have the privilege of brushing up against people like this every week. It’s as if I have a hall pass to wander the gallery of saints in Hebrews 11. What gave these visits added poignancy was the book you’re now holding, Steve Macchia’s Crafting a Rule of Life, which I was in the midst of reading. One of the many virtues of this book is how gloriously free it is from mere theorizing and armchair speculation. Indeed, Steve earths every lesson in real life, his own and others’, including brilliant vignettes of historical personages to illustrate the spiritual values he discusses in each chapter.
He could have used Elly and Elizabeth.
Which is exactly the point. Steve, in these pages, has lovingly rendered a tremendous service to the church. He unfolds the deep-down stuff that lies beneath the lives of people like that. Spiritual robustness like theirs, so tenacious and subversive and attractive, doesn’t happen by accident. It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t happen by wishing or trying.
It is a long obedience in the same direction. It is forged in the daily and tempered in the ordinary. It is a slow and steady and deliberate gathering of the years. It is a combination of keen attentiveness—to God, to self, to others, to life—and holy indifference—to trifles, to insults, to useless distractions. It is planned, not in some goose-stepping mechanical way, but in the sense that it builds on a resolve to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of you, and to take every though captive and make it obedient to Christ.
Most of us stumble into the kingdom with nary a clue how to do this. So we thrash about, make reckless attempts, arm ourselves with slogans, goad ourselves with guilt, fail and fail and fail, and finally settle for spiritual mediocrity. Our inner lives remain cramped and musty. We resort to mere conformity, to a masquerade of piety to cover up for our lack of real Christlikeness. And when we meet an Elly or an Elizabeth, they fill us with wistfulness or shame or cynicism.
Herein lies another option: to craft a rule of life which perfectly fits your unique temperament, bent, background and passion, and which day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, decade by decade, makes God real to you in the inmost places. That’s what this book will help you do, gently, clearly, persuasively, comprehensively.
The genius of Steve’s approach is he makes ancient ways contemporary, personal and practical. Saint Benedict joins your daily commute. St. Augustine goes to the gym with you. George Mueller helps you reconcile your bank statement. There’s no need to live in a cave or meditate atop a pillar. The life you long to live can be fashioned from the life you already have. You just need someone like Steve to show you how.
I read this book fast to write this foreword. Now I’ll read it again, slow, to heed its counsel. Lucky you: you’re free to get right down to business.
Happy crafting, living saint.
Mark Buchanan Author of The Rest of God and Your Church Is Too Safe Blog: www.markbuchanan.net
Introduction
Crafting a Personal Rule of Life
Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12:1-2 The Message
Fix your attention on God and you’ll be changed from the inside out. God is the one who brings out the best of you. That’s a truth worth pursuing with our whole hearts. God lovingly invites us to pursue our shared calling as a Christian community and our unique vocation as individual disciples. There is only one Moses, one Ruth, one Peter, one James, one John—and only one you.
We are all on a common pursuit of loving God, loving one another and loving others in Jesus’ name. We do so in slightly different ways—reflected in the tens of thousands of denominational niches worldwide—but more importantly, we call ourselves Christian and mean it from the bottom of our hearts. Our commonality is a beautiful gift to reflect on and is our delightful inheritance. We are set apart and called to be the people of God, “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that we may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). But even though we all live our lives in a wider community, we also find ourselves in daily pursuit of a life that’s uniquely set apart for God’s distinct purposes—evidenced in our personal rule of life.
What Is a Personal Rule of Life?
Your personal rule of life is a holistic description of the Spirit-empowered rhythms and relationships that create, redeem, sustain and transform the life God invites you to humbly fulfill for Christ’s glory.
What do you think of when you hear the word “rule”? For many of us, the word has negative connotations. We are likely to think of rules as boundaries that forbid us from doing something. But a rule of life is something else. Rather than being a set of laws that forbid us to do certain things, a rule of life is a set of guidelines that support or enable us to do the things we want and need to do.
A rule of life allows us to clarify our deepest values, our most important relationships, our most authentic hopes and dreams, our most meaningful work, our highest priorities. It allows us to live with intention and purpose in the present moment.
The word “rule” derives from a Latin word, regula, which implies not so much a system of rules or laws, but rather a way of regulating or regularizing our lives so that we can stay on the path we have set out for ourselves. A rule is like a trellis which offers support and guidance for a plant, helping it to grow in a certain direction. A rule of life is descriptive in that it articulates our intentions and identifies the ways in which we want to live. And when we fall short of these intentions, the rule becomes prescriptive, showing us how we can return to the path that we have set for ourselves and recapture our original vision. It is not something fixed and rigid, but something which can and should be adapted to our present circumstances and shaped to fit our current needs and desires.
In the ancient sense of the term, regula or rule meant “guidepost” or “railing,” something to hang on to in the dark, that leads in a given direction, points out the road or gives us support as we climb. It’s created of the raw material of our lives and it assumes no great wisdom or spiritual depth to understand. Instead, it’s an invitation to life in all its fullness, depending on God and listening attentively to his voice. And it’s fulfilled in the simple routines of everyday life, bursting forth from a well-ordered heart and resulting in the well-ordered way.
All of us have an unwritten personal rule of life that we are following, some with great clarity, others unknowingly. We wake at certain times, get ready for our days in particular ways, use our free time for assorted purposes and practice rhythms of work, hobbies, worship, vacation and so on. There is already a rule in place that you are following today. Isn’t it time to give up our unwritten rule and prayerfully write one that more closely matches the heartbeat of God?
Those who fail to do so are like wild, untamed grape vines. They will produce some fruit, but they probably won’t be as abundant as they could be. Instead, they become more vulnerable to things that threaten their spiritual vitality. However, those who are intentionally reflective, prayerful and attentively responsive are like cultivated vines. Growing on a trellis (a rule of life) and cultivated toward maturity, they become spiritually formed. The trellis curbs our tendency to wander and supports our rather frail attempts to be nurtured spiritually. Our lives will produce an abundance of fruit for the glory of God. Mature vines are cultivated to produce the best fruit.
Though your life seems full, does it at times feel unfulfilling and empty? Perhaps you may be allowing others to define how you should live. Do you yearn to hear the voice of God louder than that of a parent, family member, friend, teacher, pastor, boss or leader? Do you feel the need for clarity and focus? Or are you looking for a way out of boredom and mediocrity? Perhaps you long for a refreshing, renewing lifestyle. Whatever the reason or life situation, you feel compelled to consider the invitation God has for you today. He is calling you to himself, gifting you for service and empowering you for the abundant life.
Benedict: A Life of Listening
Many centuries ago, one hero of the faith chose purposefully to live the Christian faith counterculturally. Around A.D. 540, Benedict developed a rule of life for faithful followers of Christ. In the midst of increasing religious and secular pressures, Benedict began the journey of discerning the will of God for himself and those he lived with.
In his classic “Little Rule for Beginners” Benedict’s opening word is Listen! He offers a way of listening in a safe, faith-filled community environment. Here God’s voice can be heard by those seeking him through humility and obedience. In community, like-minded and like-hearted believers best learn to practice the disciplines of prayer, healthy relationships and good works.
According to Benedict, God becomes the primary informant of the heart and mind when believers learn to listen to his voice. Out of this posture of listening, God calls each one to loving intimacy in prayer, faith and life. Such a disciplined journey may be difficult at first, Benedict confesses, but “as we progress in this life and in faith, our hearts will expand with the inexpressible joy of love as we run the way of God’s commandments.” Thus the ultimate outcome of living by a rule of life is joy. Loving worship and faith-filled service to God produces pure joy. This is the pathway to the abundance of life.
Born to privilege in the tiny hill village of Nursia (now known as Norcia), Italy, Benedict was raised in a wealthy Roman home, where he was taught that family is the most sacred institution, with the father as its most respected leader. The other guiding principle was that one must be obedient to a worthy communal cause. Both principles—family and community—ultimately shaped his rule. Nevertheless, Benedict had to make some radical decisions regarding how to live.
His first radical decision was to leave this privileged life to become a student of rhetoric in Rome. But Benedict soon discovered he had little in common with his classmates, who preferred the cycle of studying and drunken partying. So he left the academy and pursued a countercultural life, ending up in a cave near the Anio River in Subiaco, Italy. Here, in a narrow, ten-foot-deep cave, Benedict began his robust, deliberate, God-centered life. In this cave Benedict, with God’s help, sorted out what it means to live the Christian life in a pagan world.
Benedict thought and prayed about how best to live for God in this world. His classic rule was crafted in isolation, but tested and transformed in community. In the cave Benedict came to the full realization that God’s call was toward humility, as expressed both in contemplation (a life of prayer) and community (a life of love). This twofold priority became the backbone of Benedict’s rule of life.
Following Benedict
Listening and humility are essential to the creation and fulfillment of our personal rule of life today. Rather than waiting on God to inform our hearts and direct our steps, we prefer following our own ideas about how to live. But without a humble, attentive heart, our self-centeredness will not lead to the abundance of a God-empowered life.
To discover your own personal rule of life takes time and concerted effort; you must listen to God and discern what he wants you to be and do for his glory. Fulfilling a personal rule of life, centered in the pursuit of a well-developed spiritual life within a predominantly secular society, is difficult to say the least. But it’s certainly not impossible. The basic disciplines of Scripture, prayer and reflection will lead us forward in our journey toward Christlikeness. Discernment is central to crafting our rule of life.
Prayerfully set a course for the days ahead, asking God to shine a light on your spiritual rhythms and personal relationships. Do so in the reality of your daily life, anticipating your way forward into renewal, redemption and the abundance of life in Christ. Developing a personal rule of life grows out of a listening posture of humility and prayer. It awaits your diligent attentiveness every step of the way. Like a trellis for a wandering vine, your personal rule of life guides you intentionally forward, one section of the trellis at a time, until your whole life is encompassed.
A personal rule of life is a holistic description. Consider Adam and Eve (Genesis 2–3). Their God-inspired personal rule of life was to be lived out in a lush garden with one simple instruction: eat here and not there. Their vision and mission was clearly stated, the garden was ripe for its cultivation, the relationships were ideal, and the only requirement was to listen and obey. The enemy of our soul wants to pull us off the trellis to wander and fend for ourselves. Like Adam and Eve, our personal rule of life affects our whole life. And like them we too will fall short of God’s intentions and need to daily realign our lives. When crafting your rule of life, consider the entirety of your life.
A personal rule of life is Spirit-empowered. Consider the early church (Acts 1–4). We see that their rule of life was freshly empowered by the experience of Pentecost and maintained in the unity of the Spirit. God’s empowering presence is the first attribute of a healthy disciple, and is the key to understanding one’s rule of life. When we trust God to grant us the fruit and the gifts of the Spirit and live by them, we learn what it means to live for the glory of God and the expansion of his kingdom. Our rule of life is best lived out under the guidance and empowerment of God’s Spirit.
A personal rule of life includes both the rhythms and relationships of life. Consider Joseph (Genesis 37–50). Joseph was thrown into a pit by his jealous brothers, but he remained faithful, saying no to his tempter and even caring for his brothers, who betrayed him. Later, from a position of power and authority, he chose the preemptive attitude of forgiveness, grace and mercy. His religious rhythms and practices fostered an abundance of life for those around him. As a result, his life was redeemed, sustained and transformed for God’s glory.
Consider Elizabeth, Zechariah, Mary, Joseph and even the shepherds (Luke 1–2). The first advent of Christ arrived in the midst of a small spiritual community of relationships. All were led by the Spirit, and each had a calling and mission to fulfill. Even though one person, Zechariah, was silenced in the process, each relationship was intertwined within this extended family. Each was expectant and hopeful, and without competition they encouraged one other toward the fulfillment of their unique vocation. When they realized they were created for a unique purpose, each life was redeemed, sustained and transformed for Christ. The first advent story was their greatest fulfillment and joy.
A personal rule of life is to be humbly fulfilled for Christ’s glory. Consider the faithful characters in the biblical hall of faith (Hebrews 11). We see that there was no pride or self-absorption among the faithful. They lived for God’s honor and glory, suffered on God’s behalf, and watched how God used them for purposes that grew much larger than they could ever have asked, dreamed or imagined for themselves.
Jesus is the ideal example of the embodiment of a Spirit-empowered personal rule of life. Jesus’ ability to balance attentiveness to the Father and to his daily life is scattered throughout the Gospels. His community of disciples, where loving accountability was the centerpiece, is a model to embrace. Jesus provides the example and the inspiration to move forward in developing intimacy with God out of which we discover our own personal rule of life. Jesus maintained that balanced posture of life and service to others. Likewise, our personal rule of life is to be holistic, covering each of the major areas of life. We also need to acknowledge that we, like Christ and the heroes of our faith in both the biblical text and throughout church history, are to see our personal rule of life as both countercultural (we march to the beat of a different drummer than the rest of the world) and counterintuitive (we live for Christ and therefore need to die to self and our own natural inclinations to always put self first).
Discovering your personal rule of life will encompass every aspect of your life in Christ. The invitation is transformational, so brace yourself for sweet release. By letting go and trusting God, you will receive the gift of life in its fullest and richest form.
How Will Each Chapter Unfold?
Since life is so complex and multifaceted, you will be guided through one main issue at a time as you build your rule of life. Each chapter will include the following features:
Guiding principle. Each guiding principle will shape the development of a personal rule of life in specific and personally meaningful ways. You will be given questions to prayerfully consider before further defining the principle at hand.
Biblical reflection. Through the introduction of biblical characters and the use of interactive Bible study, you will be invited to dig deeply into God’s Word. As the story comes alive, you will begin to see with the renewed eyes of your heart how the biblical story informs the development of your personal story.
Historical insight. You will be welcomed into the challenging and inspirational stories of fascinating men and women of the church. Each will stimulate your thinking and prod your personal reflections on what makes for a faith-shaped life.
Personal rule of life. Questions and reflection exercises will help you to discern God’s ongoing invitation to the well-ordered way. Here also you will begin to write your rule of life—a section at time. As you work through the process, you will sense an ever-deepening awareness of God’s voice speaking into your heart. Anticipate his loving hand guiding you into the fullness of his call and will for your life.
Spiritual community. This book is designed for use in community, and in this section you will find discussion questions to help you process what you are learning with others.
Learning in a Spiritual Community
It will be most helpful if you read one chapter at a time, answer the questions in each section and share your process of discovery with a small group of spiritual friends. When we speak with others about our experience in Christ, it sharpens our attentiveness to the voice and will of the Father. Sharing our stories helps us clarify the intentions of our hearts toward the fulfillment of his divine will. A small circle of friends also reminds us of the presence, power and protection of the Holy Spirit. Confiding in one another instills a sense of hope for the future as children who are dearly loved by their Father.
There are several spiritual community options to consider:
Small group. Spend time with an existing spiritual formation small group (or with one started for this purpose) for a few months while each member reads this material and begins to craft their first draft of a personal rule of life. If you choose this option, consider spending 90 minutes together: 15 minutes for gathering hospitality, 15 minutes for prayer and biblical reflection, 45 minutes to discuss the section’s questions, and 15 minutes for intercessory prayer for one another.
Accountability triad. In a mini-group of three friends, hold one another accountable for completing the reading, reflection exercises and drafting a personal rule of life. You could also talk through the chapters on a weekly basis following the small group format above.
One-on-one with a spiritual friend. You could meet on a weekly basis to review each chapter, or you could simply meet for accountability and prayer on a weekly or monthly basis.
One-on-one with a spiritual director or mentor. If you already have a relationship with a spiritual director or another mentoring relationship, invite this spiritual guide to listen attentively to you as you craft your personal rule of life.
For more resources as you navigate this book visit www.ruleoflife.com.
Invitation to the Journey
Cease the continual striving of a life of nonstop technology, noise and activity. Stop looking exclusively to others’ ideas of how you are to live as a Christian. Instead, begin to listen to God with an attentive, reflective and discerning heart. In the context of your spiritual community, take the necessary time to discover afresh his invitation to the abundant life. This journey of personal discovery is sure to be life transforming for you and all whose path you gracefully cross.
What better time than now to embrace a deeper understanding of your personal rule of life?
As you begin this process, let me encourage you to pursue this prayerfully, one piece at a time. Like putting together a puzzle, we will start with the frame or border, and work toward the center. To honor the Lord and allow you to attend to his still, small voice every step of the way, prayerful discernment is essential. I invite you to pray:
PART ONE
Framing Your Personal Rule of Life
What matters supremely, therefore, is not, in the last analysis, the fact that I know God, but the larger fact which underlies it—the fact that he knows me. I am graven on the palms of his hands. I am never out of his mind. All my knowledge of him depends on his sustained initiative in knowing me. I know him, because he first knew me, and continues to know me. He knows me as a friend, one who loves me; and there is no moment when his eye is off me, or his attention distracted from me, and no moment, therefore, when his care falters. This is momentous knowledge. There is unspeakable comfort—the sort of comfort that energizes, be it said, not enervates—in knowing that God is constantly taking care of me in love, and watching over me for my good. There is tremendous relief in knowing that his love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion him about me.
J. I. Packer,Knowing God
1 Roles
What Are My Primary Relationships?
Guiding Principle
Roles:Your personal rule of life is discerned and framed within the context of your primary relationships and your spiritual community, and lived out in service to others.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon:
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light
where there is sadness, joy
O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
—Attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
In his book Sacred Companions David Benner discusses five interrelated elements that appear in healthy spiritual friendships: love, honesty, intimacy, mutuality (offering reciprocal care) and accompaniment (taking an active interest in each other’s journey). I would add another characteristic of healthy friendships—the willingness and desire to listen. With these characteristics in mind, if you were ranking your ability to develop and sustain healthy relationships, on a scale of 1 (low) and 5 (high), how would you fare? Why?
If your closest friend were answering this question for you, how do you think he or she would rank your ability to develop and sustain healthy relationships? Why?
If confronted by someone you recently were in conflict with, what do you think that person would say about your ability to redeem and transform your relationships? Why?
Think of your closest friend and also of someone you most recently had a conflict with. Write out the prayer of your heart regarding the desire you have for the health of your primary earthly relationships—beginning with strengthening the relationship you have with your best friend, as well as resolving a conflict you are having with another.
Biblical Reflection
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)
When we consider the relationships that matter most to our development as individuals made in the image of God, it’s vital that we consider them in terms of the roles we fulfill. Some of our relationships stand alone in a particular role. Some roles encompass multiple relationships. My role as father includes two relationships—with our son and with our daughter. My role as boss envelopes many members of our ministry team. Others may co-mingle and cross over into various roles. For example, your boss might also be a friend; your spouse may be your business partner; your cousin might also serve on the same nonprofit board with you; or your pastor may be your golf buddy.
Sharing one or two roles is pretty normal, but when our relationships cross over into three or more roles, it can get pretty complicated. For example, when my boss is also my friend and becomes my confidante and counselor, it’s tough to maintain appropriate boundaries, confidentiality and objectivity—especially if something comes up at work that needs to be confronted. Or if your pastor/golf partner invites you to serve on the board and you find yourself in disagreement with him, does the golf all of a sudden come to an end?
How many roles and relationships can we handle well? Some would insist that it’s impossible to sustain more than five to seven major roles and stay balanced and healthy. I am inclined to agree.
One person in the Bible who had multiple roles, responsibilities and relationships is King David, the greatest and most important king of Israel. The majority of his story is found in the books of 1–2 Samuel, 1 Kings and 1 Chronicles. From his early life until his death, David was involved in a variety of roles and relationships. Try adding them up and you’ll be overwhelmed with what we know about David’s life (1040-970 B.C.). It’s no wonder he had an occasional fall from his pedestal of greatness:
Within his family of origin, David was the eighth of his
brothers
and youngest
son
of Jesse of Bethlehem.
In the early period of his life David is mentioned as a
man after God’s own heart
, a title he maintained as he kept the divine commandments (1 Samuel 13:14). As a
shepherd
boy he showed great courage in protecting the flock (1 Samuel 17:34-36). As a youth he was an outstanding
athlete
(1 Samuel 17:34-36).
David was a fine
musician
who played the harp before the king (1 Samuel 16:14-23). He was a
poet
and
psalmist
of the finest caliber, writing some of the great masterpieces of spiritual literature; no other poetry has been so consistently used by the church through the centuries as the many psalms of David.
David was intimate
friend
to Jonathan (1 Samuel 20), King Saul’s son (for whom he served as
armor bearer
)
. He was a courageous
champion
of Israel and killed the giant Goliath, which resulted in a great victory for God’s people (1 Samuel 17:25-53). This was just the beginning of his ability to lead military campaigns as a successful
general
.
David was
husband
to several wives and concubines and
father
to many children—mostly sons and at least one daughter (2 Samuel 5:14-16; 9:11; 13:1-29; 1 Chronicles 3:1-9; 2 Chronicles 11:18).
David is also known for his turbulent adult life and his fallenness and depraved humanity as an
adulterer
. In his darkest hours as king, David’s lust for Bathsheba led to the death of her husband, Uriah, and the eventual death of the child born to David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11–12).
David was a
repentant sinner
brought back into fellowship with the living God through the prophet Nathan; his prayer of Psalm 51 is an example for all generations.
David was divinely chosen to succeed King Saul and quietly anointed by the prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 16:12-13) to serve as
king
over Israel. He is considered a genius and the greatest of all kings, displaying unusual military victories and enlargement of the kingdom (2 Samuel 8, 10), providing wisdom in the administration of government (2 Samuel 5:3), in the capturing of Jerusalem (the “City of David”) and the establishment of the capital there (2 Samuel 5:7). He
anointed his son Solomon
to serve as his successor (1 Kings 1:11-39; 2:1-9).
He is the most famous
ancestor of Christ
—Jesus is not called the Son of Abraham or the Son of Jacob, but the Messiah, Son of David.
King David was a complex man. His roles were many and varied. Some were overlapping and others were misused for unfortunate and destructive ends. Each had their own set of possibilities and tensions, and it’s astounding to consider how effective this man of God was when his entire life is considered. His personal rule of life was indeed framed within the wealth of his myriad roles and relationships, essential for understanding the life he was invited by God to fulfill.
The elegant writing of Psalm 51 is in response to Nathan the prophet’s confrontation and rebuke of David’s adultery with Bathsheba. As recorded in 2 Samuel 11 and 12, David fell hard to the lustful temptations of his heart toward the bathing Bathsheba next door. He summoned her to his palace and they slept together, consummating a relationship that would be both immediately cursed and ultimately blessed. His subsequent sins of having Uriah the Hittite (Bathsheba’s husband) killed on the front lines of battle, lying about and covering up his sin, continued to wreak havoc on his soul.
By the time Nathan arrives on the scene, David is filled with guilt. Nathan begins by telling David a simple story of injustice: “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him” (2 Samuel 12:1-4).
After hearing this story, David is outraged: “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die” (2 Samuel 12:5). Nathan responds to David, “You are the man!” (v. 7) and then proceeds to remind David of all that the Lord, the God of Israel, had done to raise David up to become king over Israel. Reminding David of his true personhood and identity in God was the linchpin to his own embracing of that identity as a man, a king, an honorable child of God.
The brilliance of Psalm 51 is captured in David’s willingness to finally come clean and admit his sinfulness and brokenness, his desperate need for God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness. Out of that place of freedom, he openly confesses his wrongdoings before the Lord. The purity of his heart is brought to light, and his renewed sense of confidence is evident for all to see.
As you and I consider our own roles and relationships, we do so out of our brokenness and our need for God’s amazing grace in all of our interactions with others. David is a wonderful example for us to prayerfully consider as we begin to craft our rule of life around the many people we come in contact with on a daily basis. Sit with Psalm 51 and receive these words as a reminder of how you too can pray about your life and relationships. May this psalm set you free to admit your brokenness, your longing for joyfulness and your leanings toward restored faithfulness in your service to others throughout your sphere of influence.
One of David’s dearest friends was Jonathan. Read through the account of their friendship in 1 Samuel 18–20. Note that “Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. . . . And Jonathan made a covenant with David” (1 Samuel 18:1-4), and “Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan was very fond of David and warned him . . . ‘Be on your guard . . . go into hiding’” (1 Samuel 19:1-3), and “we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the L
ORD
” (1 Samuel 20:42). What does it mean to make a covenant of love with our friends?
Who would you be willing to make such a commitment to?
