Lovemaking E-Book

DAN WILSON

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Seitenzahl: 200

Beschreibung

Sex is meant to be beautiful, holy, and fun, and every married person can be skilled in the art of lovemaking. Lovemaking will help to: Increase your degree of sexual satisfaction, Understand the purpose and pleasure of godly sexuality, Learn how to give and receive love through sexual expression, Renew passion for your mate, Be equipped to be the "world's greatest lover" for your spouse.  Great sex is godly. God is the ultimate Lover, and He created us to love. He placed creativity in us to make sex exciting, never dull or routine. You can fully realize the tremendous potential for joy, fulfillment, and purpose in your marriage. 

Leseprobe

Endorsements

Whether you are a newlywed or have been married fifty years, Dan and Linda Wilson’s book Lovemaking will awaken your love life to greater heights of desire, passion, and playfulness. They masterfully illuminate the beauty of sexual intimacy within the context of a covenantal marriage relationship. God created sex, and he wants us to enjoy it! If you want to experience new levels of intimacy with your spouse, this book is for you.

—KRIS VALLOTTONSenior Associate Leader, Bethel Church, Redding, CACofounder of Bethel School of Supernatural MinistryAuthor of ten books, including The Supernatural Waysof Royalty and Spirit Wars

Dan and Linda Wilson are a couple who truly live what they preach, and as a result, they carry Kingdom authority that flows through love. In this book, they cover a sensitive and personal topic that many would not want to give attention to, and yet it is so needed. I sincerely commend Dan and Linda Wilson to you.

—PATRICIA KINGFounder, XP Ministries

Lovemaking uses a thoroughly biblical foundation to illuminate the physical, emotional, spiritual, and playful aspects of God’s design for sex in marriage. From Scripture to anatomy to practical tips, authors Dan and Linda Wilson provide helpful information and encouragement to take your marriage bed from ho-hum to heavenly. Definitely a recommended read!

—J. PARKERBlogger at www.hotholyhumorous.com and author ofSex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives andIntimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage

Reading Lovemaking has left me blessed and thankful to God. I fully recommend this book to my own children and their friends who are of marrying age, as well as all couples who are already married. Read this book and keep it on your side table in your bedroom.

I am Mexican and come from a culture in which we were taught that talking about sex, thinking about sex, and especially having sex was a sin. Once one gets married, the idea that it is all sinful is so engrained in your mind, you can’t distinguish between merely having sex and making love.

Today, it is important that people come to understand the revelation this book, so full of God’s Word, gives: That making love, in all of its meaning, is holy, is fun, and is part of the gift that God gives to married couples.

I am so excited to learn in these later decades of our lives (I’m in my early 50s), that our maturity helps us become better lovers! It is so exciting to think that my husband and I can have a new way to make holy and satisfying love. I am convinced that God has given us this privilege.

—INGRID FIEHN-SERVINHealing Rooms Ministries, regional director for Northeast Mexico

Dr. Dan and Linda Wilson have written another outstanding book for couples…but this one is very different! Lovemaking deals with a subject that is too often considered taboo within the church. We’re so glad the Wilson’s were willing to pull back the sheets in order to share their straight-forward, honest, and practical advice that will help many couples succeed in the bedroom and beyond! Sex was, is, and always will be God’s idea for lasting marriages. We only wish this book had been available years ago when we first got married. It is an excellent reference for newlyweds and any married couple that would like to ignite their passion and feel like newlyweds all over again!

—JOSHUA & JANET MILLSLovers, authors, and international conference speakerswww.joshuamills.com

God created everything—including sex. Lovemaking is one of the most biblically sound and healthiest books on the market about sex and marriage. Dr. Dan and Linda Wilson do an outstanding job at conveying God’s original design and intent for the most extravagant, creative, spicy, intimate sexual expressions between husband and wife. I highly recommend this book to every couple wanting to strengthen their sexual intimacy and marriage!

—CHÉ AHNHarvest Apostolic CenterFounding pastor, HRock Church, Pasadena, CAPresident, Harvest International Ministry

I appreciate Dan and Linda explaining sex as part of a healthy marriage; great sex requires a great marriage. Lovemaking is the perfect book for any couple looking to experience sex as the wonderful adventure God intended.

—PAUL H. BYERLYMarriage and sex educatorwww.the-generous-husband.com, www.themarriagebed.com

Dan and Linda Wilson have been personal friends of mine for several years. Their hearts are as pure as purified gold. They have such a hunger for the body of Christ to have healthy and fulfilling marriages in every area of marriage. Their book is another way to help marriages today be healed and whole.

—JOAN HUNTERAuthor and healing evangelist

I recommend Dan and Linda Wilson and their ministry. They are people of integrity and anointing.

—RANDY CLARK, D. MIN.Founder and president of Global Awakening and theApostolic Network of Global Awakening

Thank you Dan and Linda for your courage to write this informative, practical and just downright fun book! I believe it will be used to restore and deepen the adventure of sexual intimacy in many marriages.

—STEVE FISHSenior Leader, Convergence Church, Fort Worth, Texas

BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC

Racine, Wisconsin, USA

www.broadstreetpublishing.com

Lovemaking

10 Secrets to Extravagant Intimacy in Marriage

© 2015 Dr. Dan and Linda Wilson

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5005-0 (hardcover)

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5021-0 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Holy Bible, which is in the Public Domain. Scripture quotations marked TPT are from Matthew: Our Loving King, The Passion Translation®, Copyright © 2015 BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC, www.thepassiontranslation.com. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Note that emphasis within Scripture is from the author and not in the original text.

Cover by Garborg Design Works, Inc. | www.garborgdesign.com

Interior by Katherine Lloyd | www.theDESKonline.com

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail info@ broadstreetpublishing.com.

Printed in China

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Contents

Introduction

With Christ in us, we are designed to be the greatest lovers on earth.

1:   Play

God is delighted when His children fully enjoy the safe playground of marriage. Within His safe boundaries, we can experience the astonishing pleasures of overtly sexual play.

2:   Liberate

To reach the highest levels of sexual expression, both you and your partner must be free. God enables you to be extravagant, intimate lovers.

3:   Communicate

Being excellent lovers requires that we be great communicators. Sex is the ultimate form of nonverbal communication. Both words and actions can express love—enhancing intimacy in your marriage.

4:   Entice

Expert flirting is a fun prerequisite for great sex.

5:   Explore

To be a great lover, know your own body and that of your mate. Knowledge of anatomy, erogenous zones, and sexual response will enhance sexual experience. You could be known by your partner as the wizard of a-h-h-h-h-h-s.

6:   Imagine

Imagination plays a huge part in lovemaking. Sexual fantasy should be pure and honoring to your spouse and to God. Using your sanctified imagination will add spice to your sex life.

7:   Satisfy

Regardless of differences in your sexual appetites and physical changes in your bodies, both you and your mate can be sexy and satisfied as you meet each other’s needs. Recognize and celebrate your differences. You are a team. Together you can win!

8:   Adapt

Our bodies change. Sometimes we must literally reposition—adapting the way we play to accommodate health changes and aging. Sexual play can still be fantastic in the midst of physical challenges.

9:   Embrace

Embracing divine order (God and then spouse) makes room for you to love and be loved. He designed you as a sexual being. You were made for this!

10: Love

Lovemaking is not about sex. It is really all about love. Each person is created in the image of the Great Lover.

About the Authors

Acknowledgements

Glossary

Introduction

God loves sex. He created it, He encourages it, and He enhances it. Allowing, even inviting, the Holy Spirit into this most intimate place in your marriage will bring great fun and excitement into your relationship. With Christ in us, we are designed to be the greatest lovers on earth!

Perhaps you are currently disillusioned with your sex life—you may have possibly given up hope that your marriage could be rich and satisfying. If that is you, then this book is for you! Or maybe you are one of the couples who enjoy a thriving sex life in your marriage. If that is the case, then we celebrate with you! Regardless of where you would rate your sexual intimacy in the continuum—from poor to good to totally awesome—we pray these ten secrets will stimulate you (pun intended) to go for more. Let’s go beyond great, all the way to astounding.

Great skill is needed to build a great marriage, and we believe that God wants you to be a skilled spouse in the sexual arena. The enemy uses sexual dissatisfaction to bring harm to marriages, and so it is God’s supernatural power that releases us to become the expert lovers God created us to be. Through the supernatural touch of God, we discover the value of holiness, we are set free to fully enjoy sex in marriage, and we are transformed to become husbands and wives who love without restraint.

Utilizing my (Dan’s) medical expertise, our thirty-three years of marriage, and true stories from friends and people we’ve counseled (whose names are changed to protect their privacy), this book will encourage you to know your tools and how to use them to design and build a beautiful, satisfying relationship.

At the close of each chapter you will find “prescriptions” for adding a little spice to your play. We hope you will have a lot of fun following the doctor’s orders.

As you begin reading, ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind. Ask Him to free you from anything preventing you from being a great giver or receiver of love. And ask God to teach you how to be the extravagant lover you were created to be. You were made in His image, and He is all about love.

Holy really is fun!

1

Play

Kelli and Jim had a huge heart for missions. They loved God. They loved people. They loved learning about different cultures. And they loved their large family. For years they had desired to go on a short-term mission trip, but babies and the demands of family had made it difficult to get away.

An amazing invitation came for Kelli and Jim to go to Mongolia during the winter. They were asked to teach, preach, and do prayer ministry with church leaders there. Immediately their hearts leaped with a resounding yes!

Preparations began right away—obtaining warm clothing, arranging for childcare, and scheduling Jim to be away from work. All the details quickly fell into place. Before they knew it, Kelli and Jim were on a plane to the bitterly cold land of Mongolia. These two really loved each other. Getting away childless for a weekend had proven difficult throughout the years, and now they were getting away for two weeks without children! Woo-hoo!

The bitter cold almost took their breath away when they landed in Mongolia. The ministry was intense, often teaching and praying until the wee hours of the morning. But Kelli and Jim were free from a baby’s cry or a toddler climbing into bed with them. Even with the jet lag and fatigue, these two snuggled up in their warm bed making great use of each other’s body heat.

Upon their return home, Kelli called to tell us about their trip. The first words out of her mouth were, “It was so great to be alone that we had sex every night—ten nights in a row!” Even with all the amazing God stories from the trip, the uninterrupted time for play was a highlight for these two lovers. Kelli and Jim went far away from home to serve as missionaries in a foreign land and had far more fun than they anticipated. They were delighted to discover that playing together was as important a part of the journey as was the “spiritual” work that was planned.

In this book we will use “play” interchangeably with having sex. But play within the context of marriage is much more than sexual encounter. It is a lifestyle marked by exuberance in the intentional pursuit of joy. All forms of play are of great value because play reactivates the child within each one of us.

God knows that childlikeness is important throughout our lives, and He celebrates with us as it is released to husbands and wives who play.1

Childlike Play

A familiar church Sunday school song is “Jesus Loves the Little Children.” This simple song brings joy to those of any age who remain young at heart. In our hurried rush toward adulthood, many of us lose our appreciation for the merits of being a child. But God makes it clear in Scripture that there is much during this early season of life that is of great worth, and that should be pursued in our latter years.

In rebuking His disciples, Jesus made an astonishing statement: “Anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Mark 10:15). And Jesus told Nicodemus, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again” (John 3:3). There are several characteristics of being childlike that God values greatly. One of them, in particular, is naïveté.

Adults are insultingly called naïve when they are inexperienced in the ways of the world. It is necessary for us to understand some aspects of the world’s ways, but there is no need for us to participate in the world’s dark view of sexuality. Satan has twisted and distorted the beauty of sex in an effort to steal, kill, and destroy a wonderful gift from our loving Father. But Jesus came that we may experience the fullness of life the way He designed in the beginning. For those who are married, sexual play has a vital role in the abundant life God wants us to enjoy.

Romans 16:19 tells us to be wise about what is good, and innocent (naïve, inexperienced in, deliberately avoiding) what is evil.

A degree of naïveté is part of a healthy ambiance for satisfying sex-play. At any age it is a good thing for us to be innocent about the evil offered by the kingdom of darkness.

Participating with evil blocks our ability to receive the impartation of perfect love from the Father and decreases our capacity to share this love with our mate.

On the other hand, when partners focus on excellent play in the marriage bed, they are being “wise about what is good.” Nothing is more erotic than husband and wife, filled with the love of heaven, purely and freely enjoying one another in the way God intended. In fact, God is delighted when His children share in the good pleasures of sexual play.

Every father loves to watch his children having fun. Our Father in heaven is the best of all dads—full of goodness and mercy, and abounding in love. Seeing us play, both sexually and otherwise, brings a huge smile to God’s face. His desire is that we would satisfy each other during our years of being united together in marriage. He truly wants His children to enjoy every gift they have received from His loving hands.

Being God’s children, it is essential for us to learn how to play—and play well. More important than knowing the specific details of how to play sexually is the attitude with which we approach the subject. Husbands and wives who approach physical intimacy with wonder and enthusiasm will not be disappointed. The simplest of romantic games can be amazingly fun when played with one’s lifetime lover and friend.

One of our favorite romantic games involves searching for and riding Ferris wheels. In ministry we travel to many nations of the world. Whether in India, Uganda, China, or New Zealand, our eyes are constantly on the lookout for these towering, turning wheels of light. Riding them brings us joyous laughter, beautiful pictures to be taken, and memories to recall. We hold hands as the wheel takes us high up into the air, squeal together while passing over the top, and giggle like children all the way down. Our life in marriage is made richer and more full through opportunities for experiencing the whole gambit of playing together as darling friends.

In covenant marriage, God has created the wonderful and astonishing opportunity for spouses to wholeheartedly experience the pleasures of overtly sexual play.

Within safe boundaries there is freedom for husband and wife to enjoy each other fully, in body, soul, and spirit. Nothing can compare with the joy available within the safe playground of marriage.

God’s Playground

In our book 7 Secrets of a Supernatural Marriage, we share a story about a school playground that was adjacent to a busy city street and the need for safety in order for the children to feel the freedom to play.

There was no fence separating the two; both children and teachers could sense the danger that was present. In this atmosphere, kindergarten students remained very close to their teacher during recess instead of playing in the big open field. Although this assured their safety, it deprived them of the many areas and activities available on the playground. The children were unable to fully enjoy recess because the playground felt treacherous to them.

The school leaders, aware of the risk of having children play so close to the street, had a sturdy fence constructed around the borders of the playground. Soon the children were running, bouncing balls, swinging, and exuberantly playing on every square inch of the property. They were full of joy and laughter because they had a safe place to play. What had seemed scary to them was now fun because of the barrier that separated them from the dangerous traffic on the street.

Marriage is very much like that properly fenced playground. In the written word of the Bible, by direct revelation, and through the personal leading of the Holy Spirit, God establishes wise, strong, protective barriers around His children’s marital playground. All activity within these secured boundaries is righteous and good, conforming to God’s perfect will. Anything outside of these boundaries is unholy, unrighteous, and outside of His will. Everything outside is the street we’re not allowed to play in because of the danger involved.2

God’s playground is safe because it is holy. We elaborate on this point further in 7 Secrets of a Supernatural Marriage:

As we grow in holiness, we honor God as our Creator and honor the beauty and perfection of His plan. Our holiness greatly pleases the Father. This is why, in establishing the Law with the children of Israel, God repeatedly told Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy’” (Leviticus 19:2; 11:44–45).

A marriage truly connected to the holiness of God is an amazing thing. In this kind of relationship we can let down all our defenses and just be instead of always doing and trying to perform. We fulfill the destiny God created us to enjoy as we walk in the holiness of marriage. In this place all is freely shared and no barrier exists between husband and wife. There is no fear about what the other person might think, nor is there any doubt concerning the motivations of each other’s actions. In God’s playground called marriage, we are encouraged to love deeply and freely, to laugh and to play, without fear of the dangers that lie outside of these God-ordained boundaries.3

God created the covenant of marriage to be the safest and most pleasurable of all playgrounds. Within this context we are given permission from heaven to sexually “go for it” with our mate. We are designed with the ability to extravagantly give and receive love through intimate relations that demonstrate the extreme oneness of holy matrimony.

Loving God Makes Us Better Lovers

We enter the path toward experiencing full sexual satisfaction when we decide to “go for it” with God. Psalm 37:4 encourages us with these words: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” God lovingly created both men and women with strong sexual drives. In the heart of husbands and wives there is an intense desire to enjoy the pleasures of sex, both for procreation and for recreation.

God wants us to fully enjoy sex together within marriage.

But sex cannot be our primary goal in life. It is only when our first priority is to delight ourselves in Him that He will give us the other desires of our hearts. The Spirit of God will open the door to experiencing sexual relations in marriage that truly satisfy.

Pursuing God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength is by far the best way husbands and wives can prepare themselves to go for great sex with their marriage partners. Let’s state this in a very simple way: Loving God makes us better lovers. When we “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,” Jesus promises that “all these things” will be given to us as well (Matthew 6:33). Outside of the necessities of life Jesus is referring to here, we believe this also includes a better sex life with your spouse.

The fact is that God created sex—He likes it and wants it to be fully enjoyed by His children. We share God’s enthusiasm for sex within marriage by urging couples to play freely, play often, and play with enthusiasm. But the important part is to just play!

Sometimes we have a tendency to take things really important to us—like relating intimately with God or romantically pleasing our lover—too seriously. God prefers that we search for Him with the wonder of a little child rather than approach Him as qualified experts who have nothing left to learn. The same can be said of romantic pursuit in marriage.

In writing this book we were considering using the title Expert Lover, until we read a passage from Bill Johnson’s book Hosting the Presence. Relating the word expert to our relationship with God, Bill writes:

Why do you think the new moves of God almost always start with people who don’t know what they are doing? At least in part, we limit God to our present understanding of how God moves, all while praying that God would do a new thing among us. What we know can keep us from what we need to know if we don’t remain a novice. When we become experts we have chosen where we level off in our maturity. He still requires that primary advancements in the Kingdom be made through childlikeness.4