Reality Wars E-Book

Frank Pucelik

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 514

Beschreibung

The beginning of Neuro - Linguistic - Programming lies in "Meta Foundations" and the linguistic magic founded, researched and taught by Frank Pucelik, Richard Bandler and John Grinder in Kresge College, Santa Cruz in the 70`s. This book is the clinical and acedemic result of the 7 year Research programm run by Pucelik and his group of assistants who he still calls "the kids." It is unique in its entirety and covers all Meta Foundations that Pucelik still uses in his work and teaches his therapists and counsellors. Anybody working in the field of Psychotherapy, Coaching or Counselling should read this book and be able to understand how the human mind works, the changing force of Linguistics and the source of NLP. The book is visually enhanced with the Art of Ray Wilkins who is also a wellknown therapist and coach. Frank Pucelik now lives and works in Odessa, Ukraine where he trains Therapists and Counsellors in Trauma and PTSD.

Leseprobe

Dedicated to a World where Peace is always a Reality.

Editors Note.

All information in this book is the result of a collaboration between Frank Pucelik, John Grinder and Richard Bandler and a group of research assistants that took place in the 70`s, more information can be read under the Chapter Index “Roots.” I myself started learning Neuro Linguistic Programming in 1980, I was trained by one of the first NLP Trainers in Europe, Gundl Kutchera, Vienna. After 6 years of training I realized that if I was going to really understand what NLP was I must develop my own style, based on my personal understanding, Intuition and personal transformation using Meta as the foundation. NLP did change my life not because of any fantastic mind changing processes but because it taught me to find all answers and solutions to any challenges or difficulties in my life (and I had very many!) inside myself, hidden within my own mind and spirit. I did not meet many other collegues who thought the same way until I met the author of this book, Frank Pucelik. Frank also cleared the mist of misunderstanding surrounding the roots of NLP, I now know that the roots of NLP is actually Meta Foundations which is what this book is all about. After reading the Manuscript of this book I realized that “Reality Wars” is the most complete in - depth Book about “Meta” language and the healing magic of Transformational Linguistics on the market. This is a revised edition of the original Manuscript, I have not changed any content. What I did do is redesign the format of the book into a more readable Edition making it easier to understand, and study, it is actually the only Edition of Reality Wars that you can actually take in your hands and turn the pages, up till now it was an E-Book. Being a professional artist I have also enhanced a few pages with original Art work to help interrupt the sometimes complicated academic flow of words and bring some more visual inspiration into this amazing, knowledge-filled book. I have also written a few personal thoughts about my experience on how to work with people, (Please note this is the only written contribution in this book that I personally have undertaken). Take your time reading this book, contemplating the information contained, or just use it as a reference book and I know, that the mystery of what NLP in reality is, will also to you, be revealed. Ray Wilkins, Germany, 2024.

John McBee transcribed over a 6 Month Period the information for this book based entirely on recorded conversations with Frank Pucelik. He then formatted the material into an eBook Design. He edited all material and is responsible for the complete formatting of the first Edition.

The creators of this book:

Frank Pucelik: One of the three founders of NLP. Later founded several Centers for Addiction in Youth and PTSD in USA, Russia and Ukraine. He runs a Training Center for DST and PTSD in Odessa, Ukraine.

www.puceliknlp.com

John McBee PHD: Licenced professional Counselor. He works and teaches in Oklohama City, USA.

Ray Wilkins: Coach, Author and Professional Artist: Has been teaching and working with NLP for over 40 years. He runs a therapy and counselling Center in Eitorf, Germany.

www.raywilkins.de

Table of Contents

PART I. CHAPTER ONE. THE FARTHEST REACHES OF HUMAN EXCELLENCE.

PART I. CHAPTER TWO. A MORE-THAN-USUAL PASSION FOR FINDING TRUTH.

PART I. CHAPTER THREE. THE FABRIC OF REALITY, SLEIGHT OF MIND: HOW WE CREATE TRUTH.

PART II. CHAPTER FOUR. CALIBRATIONS AND TREATMENT INDICATORS.

PART II. CHAPTER FIVE. MODELING DISTINCTIONS.

PART II. CHAPTER SIX. META-MODEL.

PART II. CHAPTER SEVEN. STRATEGIES AND ACCESSING CUES.

PART II. CHAPTER EIGHT. THE BELIEFS OF EXCELLENCE.

PART II. CHAPTER NINE. DISASSOCIATED STATE THERAPY MODEL.

PART III. CHAPTER TEN. GATHERING INFORMATION.

PART III. CHAPTER ELEVEN. FINDING AND SORTING PARTS.

PART III. CHAPTER TWELVE.. CONTACT AND CONTRACT BETWEEN PARTS.

PART III. CHAPTER THIRTEEN. INTEGRATION AND THERAPEUTIC META-4

PART III. CHAPTER FOURTEEN. FUTUREPACING.

PART III. CHAPTER FIFTEEN. FORMAL DST, A SUMMARY.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK.

Most of you have spent many years developing your knowledge and skill in your profession. You recognize that no worthwhile skill comes simply by reading a book. Practical skill is the deliberate understanding and installation of many pieces of behavior that lead effective action at the right time. It requires numerous and various skills utilized precisely, and consistently to achieve an ongoing level of excellence.

The authors, as well as most of you, have taken graduate courses and professional seminars in which numerous theories about psychotherapy were presented and practiced. No one expected to leave a single course with an expertise in all or many of these models. Our goal, by using the meta model, is for you to use this book to develop an expertise in Disassociated State Therapy (in the powerful and explicate strategies of most of todays' parts therapies).

Learning is one of the basic and finest abilities of human beings. It is through our capacity to learn that we are able to derive knowledge from others. The "teachers" in this particular case are powerful practitioners of psychotherapy. Each of these practitioners spent a lifetime learning and developing their skill and abilities. The precise modeling of their procedures can now allow you to install their exquisite behaviors into your own behavioral repartee.

In order to assist you in the development of an orderly learning process, we have organized this book into a manual format. This book is intended to be read, re-read and practiced. These steps should prove useful in your own endeavor:

1. Read the book through in its entirety. Do not try to "learn" it all at first reading. You can find that a simple reading in order to grasp the general structure of the model yields the best results.

2. Perform the exercises and "programmed instruction" sequences as you read the book for the second time. This time you are possibly going to find how easy the DST model is to learn and how pervasive it can be in the development of your therapeutic effectiveness.

3. Practice each step of the model, piece-by-piece, with a friend or associate. It is desirable to do this in conjunction with someone who is also learning this model. Workshops and seminars on this and other related models are offered by excellent training organizations.

4. Incorporate the skills into your practice, allowing yourself the satisfaction of learning, not only from your successes but also from low risk mistakes. The structure of the model is sufficiently detailed so that mistakes can be quickly detected and corrected precisely and effectively. As you continue to work with this model, you will find how natural it can be in organizing your therapeutic endeavors.

5. The structure of this book is designed with many excellent concepts and understandings of the learning process incorporated. In Parts Two and Three, each major concept is presented, utilizing the following format;

(a). A simple definition of the procedure or skill including a delineation of the purpose or intent of the procedure.

(b). An extended definition and description of the model in sensory-based terms.

(c) A description of how the model is important, how it may be different from theories or models that may, at first, appear similar.

6. We believe that people should be able to get an answer to the question, "So What!?" We offer for each model's uses, what it allows you to do, how it enhances your skills, and how it is intended to fit into the entire DST model.

7. For each model, we will present a specific example of the model in action.

8. Each demonstration will be followed by a discussion of common questions people have regarding the use of the model.

9. We will then describe a specific exercise that you can do, usually involving another person, in which you are to practice this skill. We believe that this is where the "real learning" occurs. These exercises have been carefully designed and "chunked" into small enough pieces so that you should have no difficulty in achieving a series of successful experiences.

10. We will then describe common patterns of error many people demonstrate when they are first attempting to learn DST. Specific questions that are most often asked in our workshops will be described as well.

11. Next, we will re-state the basic model in a flowchart format that can be used for review later.

12. We tend to end with some type of "tag" statement used as a memory peg that will serve as an anchor for that learning. We believe that the contents of this book can serve as a basis for the development of therapeutic wizardry as the norm rather than the exception in therapeutic relationships.The skills developed by utilizing DST as a model can organize your behavior and communications in a very powerful way towards the achievement of most therapeutic outcomes. We hope that these models may serve you in discovering the magic that is possible as we journey into the farther reaches of human excellence.

REALITY WARS

PART I.

CHAPTER ONE.

THE FARTHER REACHES OF HUMAN EXCELLENCE.

Each person has within himself the capacity for human excellence. We all have the ability to utilize conscious and unconscious resources far beyond any limits that we now believe exist. Within each person is a vis medicatrix naturae, natural healing power, that can be detected and cooperated with. As therapists, we do not create the experience of excellence that is possible within a client, rather, we learn to cooperate with the resources already in existence within the person. By cooperating with the client's model of the world, we provide the internal and external conditions most favorable to the individual using their own self-regulative and restorative powers.

Disassociated State Therapy (DST) is a book about the developments of many years of research into the therapeutic wizards' abilities to facilitate miraculous changes in other human beings. We know that each person constructs a model of his experience which he uses to live in the world. Within that model of the world motivations, thinking patterns, meaningful philosophies and beliefs are an organized attempt to express that excellence we find within ourselves.

Learning to cooperate with the client's motivations, thinking patterns, philosophies and beliefs is the focus of this book. DST is a precise step-by-step method that you can use to elegantly work with any client. It taps into the very center of their personality and facilitates their movement towards their own human excellence.

Within the person, the resources of excellence are organized into aspects of the personality which we call representational systems (A process of re-presenting the input our senses detect, back to ourselves mentally, for understanding). There are consistent patterns of organization that each of our sensory functions utilize in the re-presenting process. These representational systems function as independent and interdependent parts of a person's personality.

Often these interactions generate dysfunctional strategies, 'garbage,' in the individual's life. 'Garbage' is the colloquial term we use to describe strategies a person uses, 'accidentally', to give himself and others unpleasant and/or undesirable experiences. In the process of performing DST, the client learns to organize and utilize the resources and skills of each of these parts so that they can live their life with internal cooperation, joy, grace, and ecological purpose.

Since each of the representational systems is systematic, it is possible to detect patterns of behavior, which are governed by rules and organized to achieve some particular purpose in the client's life.

The specifics of these patterns will be described in detail later in this book. Learning to communicate within these rules increases your ability to establish rapport and assist in beneficial changes. This process of utilizing the re-presenting patterns, makes it possible to have powerful impact on a client's model of the world.

Each person creates some set of beliefs or generalizations about how they should and can live. Usually these generalizations are made from a limited set of experiences and often unnecessarily limit the person. Changing behavior often entails the development, changing, splitting, or combining of these generalizations into more useful patterns.

In our attempts to understand therapeutic wizards, many amazing discoveries have been made. The first discovery is that few of these wizards knew how they did what they did. The technology employed in studying the wizards required that we not pay complete attention to what they said they did, but that we focus also on their actual behavior. In the process of studying a variety of excellent therapists, we worked to detect the specific behaviors that were necessary in performing therapy. The model we present in Part Three of this book has been found to be the necessary conditions for achieving important therapeutic interventions with any client in which parts work is indicated. We do not take this claim lightly. We do know that the most important approach to this book is to begin with skepticism.

Because this is a model of behavior and not a theory of psychotherapy, the model is valuable only if it assists you in achieving the therapeutic goals you establish. We believe that the model presented here is complete and specific enough that learning can be achieved through the performance of the exercises included in each section. The skills that these exercises are designed to teach will enrich the basis upon which you will continue to develop for many years. We believe that the DST model can become a useful addition to enhance whatever styles or forms you are presently using. Since DST was developed by observing therapists performing therapy, we believe you will discover many aspects of this model you are already performing. By recognizing these existing skills, you can discover what you already know and use these skills quicker and with more precision, and, add the powerful components you have yet to learn. They are intended to be used, tested and verified in your experience. We have no desire to add another book of theory. No theory is a good theory unless it is useful in giving you the ability to achieve the desired therapeutic ends in your relationship with your clients.

ROOTS.

In approximately 1972, a group of researchers from various fields came together to transform the beautiful 'nuggets of truth' from various approaches in psychotherapy into a precise structure of human behavior and communication. The core of this research team included Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Frank Pucelik, and others. They came together from the fields of psychology, linguistics, transformational grammar, mathematics, cybernetics, physics, computer science, information theory and brain function research. Utilizing these various backgrounds, they studied such therapeutic wizards as Milton H. Erickson, M.D., Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls and many others. In addition to the therapeutic wizards, they utilized the genius of such researchers as Gregory Bateson, John Lilly, Heinz Von Forestor, G. Spencer Brown, and Bertran Russel in creating the theoretical foundation for the various models of behavior.

The people modeled had several characteristics that resulted in their being chosen. One is that they were therapeutic wizards, practitioners of such power and effectiveness that they were considered to be among the world's best. Virginia Satir was considered to be one of the finest family therapists in the world. Fritz Perls was renowned for effecting powerful changes in people in very short periods of time, and Milton Erickson one the foremost clinical hypnotists.

However, there was also a second characteristic common to these practitioners. What they performed and what they said (theorized) they performed seemed to be different. Their descriptions tended to include only parts of their actual behavior. Hence, they had difficulty in teaching others to perform therapy in the same powerful ways they could.

The researchers utilized the ideas of meta-position to study these practitioners' works. The models presented in this book were derived from observation of their specific behaviors and not from their theories. Through extensive use of video tapes and live observation, the team began to understand the systematic behaviors and patterns that each of these therapeutic wizards uses in being so powerful.

By organizing their observations into a series of step-by- step descriptions, they were able to skillfully use these behaviors and verify their own ability to produce the same results. There was never any claim that what they were teaching was exactly what the wizards were doing. Their claim was that through the use of these models, you could achieve the same results, since the model is explicit and therefore teachable. Imagine being able to gain within a few years the skills that previously only a special few had developed in a lifetime, and from several different areas of peoplehelping! We believe that the skills of these practitioners will become great gifts to the communication field at large. They will permit any professional communicator, who is interested in learning, the ability to produce the same powerful "magic" that previously had been restricted to only a few.

Fritz Perls, for example, was famous for his "hot seat", that special chair in which the client would choose to sit when they wished to work on some particular problem. However with his procedures, Fritz could perform magic or fall flat. Through observation and modeling of what he did, it was possible to detect the difference.

In this case, our discussion of the DST model that focuses on the well-formed conditions for "sorting" a person offers you what Fritz did not consciously know. He would use procedures with clients that were useful for some types of clients and not for others. The process of modeling actually makes possible the understanding, explicitly, of what you can do to make your performance become more consistently effective.

Each of the authors has had the opportunity to model many individuals who demonstrated some particular aspect of human excellence. Even for the person being modeled, there was a tendency for that person to learn things about their own behavior they themselves did not know, and often they became even quicker and more powerful.

Many years have passed since the initial research was performed. Several books have been written describing many of the beginning models. This present book offers something that is unique in the area of human excellence: We are presenting a complete organization of all the specific models that came out of the initial research and the research that followed in the area of parts therapies. Not only does this complete organizational model apply to psychotherapy, but it also can be applied to such areas as business management, leadership, motivation, education, training and family therapy. The model in this book has been coded into an explicate set of steps which can be used for self-change and development for the non-professional reader as well as for skill building for the professional.

The initial research presented the tools for the development of many applications of these communication models. Each of the researchers have gone on to specific areas of their own choosing, offering their own special flavor. The flavor that we are offering is not only a precise description of models (which are presented in this book along with the DST model), but also a description of the model of the models. The model that describe the coordination in a consistent manner of the magic of the wizards is, The Farther Reaches of Human Excellence!

PART I

CHAPTER THREE.

THE FABRIC OF REALITY, SLEIGHT OF MIND: HOW WE CREATE TRUTH.

We do not act directly upon our sensory experience, but upon what we re-present to ourselves. We act not directly upon the world, but upon our model of the world.

"Laws as such do not make people better," said Nasrudin to the King, "They must practice certain things, in order to become attuned to inner truth. This form of truth resembles apparent truth only slightly."

The King decided that he could, and would, make people observe the truth. He could make them practice truthfulness.

His city was entered by a bridge. On this he built a gallows. The following day, when the gates were opened at dawn, the Captain of the Guard was stationed with a squad of troops to examine all who entered. An announcement was made.

"Everyone will be questioned. If he tells the truth, he will be allowed to enter. If he lies, he will be hanged." Nasrudin stepped forward.

"Where are you going?"

"I am on my way," said Nasrudin slowly, "to be hanged."

"We don't believe you!"

"Very well, if I have told a lie, hang me!"

"But if we hang you for lying, we will have made what you said come true?"

"That's right, Now you know what the truth is, YOUR truth!"

(The Exploits of the Incomparable Mulla Nasrudin by Idries Shah)

In order to assist in changing someone's behavior you need to change the way he is representing his experience to himself. We construct models of the world through the process of abstraction (Chap 8). The process of abstraction depends upon processes people use to construct their models of the world. Each of these processes have specific sensory-based indicators that can be detected. By learning to package our communication in ways that cooperate with his models of the world, we can more effectively assist him in changing.

The whole focus of Part II is not just to describe how a person creates a model of the world, but in giving you precise indicators that can be detected and hence, learned. An excellent understanding of the power of this observational ability can be found in the world of fiction. Sherlock Holmes is credited with being one of the most skillful observers in all of literature. Even though he is noted for his impeccable reasoning ability, it is his effective use of his senses, his observation skills, that makes possible his relentless reasoning. In the "Adventure of the Cardboard Box," Mr. Holmes eloquently describes the observation process in an encounter with Dr. Watson!

Finding that Holmes was too absorbed for conversation I had tossed aside the barren paper and leaning back in my chair, I fell into a brown study. Suddenly my companion's voice broke in upon my thoughts.

"You are right, Watson," said he. "It does seem a most preposterous way of settling a dispute."

"Most preposterous!" I exclaimed, and then suddenly realizing how he had echoed the innermost thought of my soul, I sat up in my chair and stared at him in blank amazement.

"What is this, Holmes?" I cried. "This is beyond anything which I ever could have imagined." He laughed heartily at my perplexity. "You remember," said he, "that some little time ago when I read you the passage in one of Poe's sketches in which a close reasoner follows the unspoken thoughts of his companion, you were inclined to treat the matter as a mere tour-de-force of the author. On my remarking that I was constantly in the habit of doing the same thing you expressed incredulity."

"Oh, no!"

"Perhaps not with your tongue, my dear Watson, but certainly with your eyebrows. So when I saw you throw down your paper and enter upon a train of thought, I was very happy to have the opportunity of reading it off, and eventually of breaking into it, as a proof that I had been in rapport with you."

But, I was still far from satisfied."In the example which you read to me," said I, "the reasoner drew his conclusions from the actions of the man whom he observed. If I remember rightly, he stumbled over a heap of stones, looked up at the stars and so on. But I have been seated quietly in my chair, and what clues can I have given you?"

"You do yourself an injustice. The facial features are given to man as the means by which he shall express his emotions,and yours are faithful servants."

"Do you mean to say that you read my train of thoughts from my facial features?"

"Your facial features, and especially your eyes. Perhaps you cannot yourself recall how your reverie commenced?"

"No, I cannot."

"Then I will tell you. After throwing down your paper,which was the action which drew my attention to you in the first place, you sat for half a minute with a vacant expression.Then your eyes fixed themselves upon your newly framed picture of General Gordon, and I saw by the alteration in your face that a train of thought had been started. But it did not lead very far.Your eyes flashed across to the unframed portrait of Henry Ward Beecher which stands upon the top of your books.You then glanced up at the wall, and of course your meaning was obvious. You were thinking that if the portrait were framed, it would just cover that bare space and correspond with Gordon's picture over there."

"You have followed me wonderfully!" I exclaimed.

"So far I could hardly have gone astray. But now your thoughts went back to Beecher, and you looked hard across as if you were studying the character in his features. Then your eyes ceased to pucker, but you continued to look across, and your face was thoughtful. You were recalling the incidents of Beecher's career. I was well aware that you could not do this without thinking of the mission which he undertook on behalf of the North at the time of the Civil War, for I remember your expressing your passionate indignation at the way in which he was received by the more turbulent of our people.You felt so strongly about it, that I knew you could not think of Beecher without thinking of that also. When a moment later I saw your eyes had now turned to the Civil War, and when I observed that your lips were set, your eyes sparkled, and your hands clenched, I was positive that you were indeed thinking of the gallantry which was shown by both sides in that desperate struggle.But then, again, your face grew sadder, you shook your head.You were dwelling upon the sadness and horror and useless-waste of life. Your right hand stole towards your own old wound and a smile quivered on your lips, which showed me that the ridiculous side of this method of settling international arguments had forced itself upon your mind. At this point I agreed with you that it was preposter-ous,and was glad to find that all my deductions had been correct.

"Absolutely!" said I. "And now that you have explained it, I confess that I am as amazed as before."

"It was very superficial, my dear Watson, I assure you."

(PP. 201-202; The Original Illustrated Sherlock Holmes.)

Seeing instantly the make-up of a person's thinking, deducing accurately the chain of thoughts that have taken place, knowing how a person creates his problems, accurately inferring the nature of an individual's problems and strengths from a brief observation; this is the adventure found in sleight of mind.

When walking down the street and seeing a couple having an angry interchange, can you detect how they were able to be angry with each other without personally knowing these people? Is it then possible to talk with clients for a short period of time and discover how they systematically are creating their depression, anxiety, or any other of the numerous emotional problems people experience?

We affirm that each of the above abilities is possible.The skill that gifted observers use to detect this type of information is not a form of intuition that is somehow genetically based. Rather, skillful observation is based upon sensory-based cues that can be detected. As such, it is possible to train others in these gifts of observation.

In addition to being able to gather information initially about how a person is creating his problems, an even greater benefit comes from careful observation.

You will be able to have ongoing feedback about how a person is responding at each moment as you are communicating with him. The effect of this ability is powerful: You will be able to detect instantly how effective you have been and able to change your approach if you are not being effective. This eliminates the need to have to wait a week or a month in order to find out if the therapeutic intervention you employed was successful.

All of the information needed in order to have dynamic and pervasive effect upon a client will be there in front of your eyes and ears.

The precise information presented in Part II is based on the understanding that we process information non-verbally as well as verbally and that there are systematic or patterned processes which are used. By understanding how a person is using his modeling skills and knowing what effective uses of these modeling skills are, it will be possible to quickly determine a change program that can be used in a precise and dynamic way. With these skills of observation, you can truly understand how "the features are given to man as the means by which he shall express his emotions."

Installing Sleight of Mind Skills:

There is no substitute for clean, active sensory channels for observation. By learning to make consistent distinctions between what is offered from outside of yourself and from what you contribute by an internal response, your communication will develop the power of a true professional.

Each chapter in Part II will present certain aspects of the observation skills of sleight of mind. In the process of learning to see and hear the various cues being described, your sophistication as a communicator will be enhanced. Our goal in presenting this information is to make it possible for you to learn to make these observational distinctions. Therefore, each set of observation skills will include a set of exercises or experiments for you to use to incorporate these skills into your behavior. We encourage you to do these exercises since they have proven to be useful in assisting others in learning. Our general recommendation is that you read each chapter in Part II first and then come back and re-read them. This time, perform the exercises and allow yourself the joy of learning to observe very skillfully.

We believe that your efforts in learning these skills will be amply rewarded, not only in increased therapeutic effectiveness but also in personal and professional satisfaction that comes from the precise use of very elegant communication skills. In trying to learn these or other skills, some people want to try and memorize the various cues and their names. We have found that 'memorization,' of and by itself, is not especially useful. The reason for this is that people tend to memorize information "inside" of themselves. They will create internal representations of their experience which means they will have to go inside themselves in order to recall the information.

If this method is used in learning observational skills, you will find you will have to break sensory contact in order to go inside yourself. This means that you will lose a great deal of the information you need because, by being focused inside yourself, there is no way to take in new external information.

In order to eliminate this conflict, we have developed a "memorization" model we have found useful not only in learning the observational models but also in ensuring that you remain in sensory contact with whomever you are speaking.

These observational cues become useful only when you are capable of seeing them and using them without deliberately recalling them. By having your memorization associated with the person you are communicating with, you will find there is no need to consciously perform the steps. They will happen automatically! We call this finesse in communication, where you have learned the steps so well they actually become intuitive abilities.

The External Memorization Model.

Each of the observational skills being presented is based upon seeing certain aspects of the other person's anatomy. For example, as a person creates an internal mental image, it is very common for his eyes to move up and to their right.

Obviously, you will need to be watching their eyes in order to detect these movements. Hence, you will want to have some way of just looking at another person and automatically having a cue that "reminds" you to look at their eyes.

We placed quotations around the work "remind" in order to emphasize that we aren't talking about a conscious mind reminder.

We are referring to an unconscious cue in which you will detect the information and later, if you choose, recall the information consciously.

One of the real benefits of using this model that many of our students have found is that they will be able to casually talk to someone for a few minutes without thinking about gathering any kind of information and later will be able to create an internal image of that person and be capable of detecting all of the informational cues.

We will describe this model by presenting an example first. Imagine that a new client has just come into your office and sat down. You know nothing about him except his name. Before he speaks, what information can you elicit that would be useful in understanding how this person creates his strengths and weaknesses? Since he hasn't begun speaking, it will be necessary to gather some information that he non-verbally offers. You begin looking at his head and notice his eyes. Does he look at you consistently? Does he look at you sometimes and away sometimes? Does he turn his ear towards you? Is his facial skin relaxed or taut--showing color or blanched? Does he breathe high in the chest or low? Is his neck and shoulders straight or leaning forward? When he does begin to speak, is his tonality crisp, loud and clear or "airy," low and soft?

There is a great deal of information that can be gained just by asking yourself such questions as you observe the non-verbal behavior and body posture and stances.

Most of the information you need to detect in order to effectively understand a client can be found by looking at the non-verbal cues and hearing certain aspects of his voice and words! As you learn each of the distinctions described in this Part, simply look at another person and see that part of the body. For example, if you are learning the eye accessing cues, you will want to look at someone's eyes. Every time you look at someone's eyes, about 6-12 times, deliberately and consciously remind yourself that you want to see the patterns that the eyes are making. If you want to detect skin color changes, look at the face and neck and remind yourself, 6-12 times, that you want to see the color changes that occur as this person moves from one internal response state to another. Soon, you will have certain habitual responses that will occur every time you look at a person. The following is a list of cues with which all of the observational distinctions will be associated.

By learning these cues and the distinctions associated with them in this systematic way, your observational skills will be enhanced.

EYES - EARS - FACE - MOUTH - NECK - SHOULDERS - CHEST - TOTAL BODY.

Content vs Process Information: