Tara - The Journey To One's Self E-Book

Anjana Gill

• Herausgeber: epubli
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Seitenzahl: 167

Beschreibung

This enthralling and beautifully illustrated novel takes you on a thrilling journey behind the scenes of life's ups and downs. Tara, a modern businesswoman, encounters a magic river raft steered by Gurudschi, who becomes her teacher in life. Tara and the reader are taken on a loving journey through to the secrets of life and hence to the innermost treasures of the human soul. Let yourself be swept up into this magical journey to discover life's truths and look forward excitedly to how your life will change in the process…

Leseprobe

Anjana Gill

Tara

The Journey to One’s Self

Secrets of Life

© Anjana Gill

1st publishing: August 2019

Illustrations: Sophia Schmoll, Dipl.-Design

www.sophiaschmoll.de

[email protected]

Coverdesign: Gaby Heuchemer

Typesetting: Gaby Heuchemer

ISBN (eBook): 978-3-748584-23-0

The entire contents of this book such as pictures, graphics and texts are subject to copyright.

“My knowledge lies not in darkness.

It is a shining secret,

of incomparable clarity

and immediately understandable.”

From the Bhagavadgita

To my father

Joginder Singh Gill

Wherever you may be

In deep and eternal attachment

Thank you, daddy

About the author

Anjana Gill is married with two daughters and is half Indian (father Indian, mother German). The main focus of her work lies in bringing Asian and Western proverbs together in the best possible way, levelling the way towards a global philosophy of life.

For Anjana Gill, the meaning and joy of a person’s life lies in not being trapped by the superficial delusions of this world and recognizing oneself as a soul with a life of its own to live.

This is the first time she takes her readership on a journey into the deep richness of the soul in the form of a novel. Allow yourself to be taken on a magical ride to the truths of life and brace yourself for the changes your own life will take.

Chapter I

It was one of those days. I was dead tired – and no wonder after only three hours’ sleep. So I got up and put myself together – as best I could with those huge bags under my eyes. Once again there was little time for breakfast, just grab the most important documents, and then out through the door.

In half an hour I was due to meet my fabric supplier. Naturally all the traffic lights were against me. It was as if I was jinxed. And to top things off, a traffic jam. It was unbelievable! The appointment was important – vital in fact. “Oh, drive on, will you!” I thought, my nerves on edge. The success of my next clothes collection depended on my making it to this appointment. After two years of persistent persuasion, I had finally managed to cajole Mr Gonzalez, the fabric supplier, into cooperating with our company instead of our competitors. And the day of our first appointment had come at last. No one was able to supply those high-quality fabrics as cheaply as Mr Gonzalez. I had to be there on time! Finally, the traffic began moving again. Made it! With screaming tyres and my heart racing, I arrived at the company ten minutes late. Mr Gonzalez was already waiting in my office. Anna, my assistant, had already brought him a cup of our delicious coffee and, thank goodness, the mood was relaxed.

The appointment went well. Mr Gonzalez and our team agreed to work together starting as of right then. I felt flushed by a wonderful feeling of success!

The meeting had lasted for three hours and afterwards the telephone never stopped ringing. Questions, decisions, and deadlines.

We discovered we had received the wrong buttons for the new blouse collection and now had to worry about where to get the right ones quickly enough. The patterns for the T-shirt collection were the wrong cut and none of the shirts fit properly! And the loud shrilling of the telephone just went on and on!

I wanted to remain undisturbed but sadly I had to take the next call:

It was Ms Lohmann from our company’s bank. I held my breath. Thoughts kept running through my head – we need that loan; without it we won’t be able to deliver a top-quality collection.

I heard the rest of what was said as if from a long distance away: rejected, not enough collateral, have to talk things through again...

Everything reeled around me. I could no longer think clearly. An inner voice cried out for help and then the floor fell away from under me.

At some point I heard Anna’s worried voice:

“Tara! Tara, wake up! Please, wake up!”

I felt the cooling comfort of a wet towel on my forehead and slowly came round. Anna, my right hand, my pearl, brought me a glass of water – heavenly!

Slowly my senses returned.

What was that? What had happened to me?

“You’re completely overworked, Tara. I’ll take you home now and then you can rest for a while”, soothed Anna, mothering me gently. But I wasn’t having any of it. I had a company to run. There were so many things left to do and today of all days it was impossible for me to take a break. But when I tried to get up, the world began spinning, my legs crumbled under me once more, and all resistance was pointless.

Anna smartly bundled me off and drove me home.

And that is how I ended up in my flat on a very ordinary Wednesday afternoon, lying on my sofa.

I wanted to relax and recharge my batteries but my thoughts never stopped spinning. I felt my head take a roller coaster ride. Since staying on the sofa made no sense, I decided to go out for a walk. Perhaps the fresh air and oxygen would kick start my brain.

Actually I live in a very nice area. A penthouse flat directly overlooking the river. This is such a wonderful place to live, but I’ve stopped taking it in, I suddenly thought.

It was another wonderful day. The sun was out, the air was pleasantly warm, and I felt a light breeze sweep through my hair.

I strolled along the riverbank, enjoying my walk. Slowly the chaos in my head subsided. The sunbeams warmed my skin, the wind caressed me like a loving mother’s hand; the light dancing between the sunlight and the shadows cast by the trees was a wonder to behold.

In the end, I stopped at the ferry terminal and looked down into the river. The sun sparkled on the water and small waves lapped up against the riverbank. My eyes took in the splendour of the shimmering light reflections and I felt my skin breathe in the sun and the wind. For the first time in a long while I felt something akin to relaxation, something almost like freedom!

It was only four in the afternoon, so I decided to take the ferry and enjoy the time I at last had to myself a little while longer. I walked along the pier and stepped aboard the ferry.

And what happened next changed my life forever...

Chapter II

What was this? Where was I? This wasn’t the ferry. I had never seen this place before. What had happened?

Then a warm and friendly voice said to me: “Come in, Tara, come on in! Nice of you to drop in. I’ve been expecting you.”

So it had happened. I had gone mad. Or was I perhaps dead?

“No, Tara, you’re not dead. You’re very much alive”, answered the voice.

The light was so blinding I was unable to see who or what was around me.

Had I been thinking out loud? No, I hadn’t spoken – definitely not. But how did the voice know what I was thinking and where was the voice coming from?

“Come, Tara! Come in and sit down for a moment!”

Only now was I able to look around me. What a strange place!

Obviously I was on a kind of raft, the floor of which was covered with a soft, light-coloured carpet; a white flowing fabric fluttered about opposite me and a wonderful yellow light imbued this sunny place, and then I saw HIM: an elderly man sitting on a yellow cushion in the lotus position. He wore white clothing, a turban, and a long white beard adorned his face. He smiled at me and his hands motioned me to sit down opposite him. I felt as if in a trance and did his bidding, seating myself down on a second yellow cushion that seemed to be simply waiting for me. Now I was able to take in the man more closely. I had never seen such eyes before! I stared at him as if spellbound.

Incredible! Brown and warmly radiant eyes looked back at me tenderly. His face shone like the sun itself. He looked like a saint.

A wave of warmth flowed through me. It was like coming home – unspeakably wonderful! I was overcome by this radiance.

I cannot say how long I sat there, taking in the love and affection that came from his gaze.

However, after halfway collecting myself, my worldly thoughts regained the upper hand.

What was I doing here? Why was I in this strange place?, I thought to myself.

“You’re here to learn something”, said the Indian in a friendly tone. That’s surely an Indian, I thought.

And again! I think something and he answers! He can read my thoughts! Everything seemed to be coming from another world. I felt almost like I was in a film. The only thing was, I didn’t know what role I was supposed to be playing.

“My darling child”, the Indian interrupted the silence, “this morning you collapsed and your inner voice called for help. Now I’m here. I’m here for you.

I shall help you if you want me to.”

“Who are you?” I asked, transfixed.

“Call me Guruji”.

“Guruji? Is that your name?”

“Yes, at the moment that is my name. I’ll explain to you what it means: ‘Gu’ means darkness and ‘ru’ means that which drives away. A guru is hence someone who drives away the darkness. And what happens when the darkness has gone, Tara?”

“It becomes light?”

“Exactly, and the light can shine out in all its brightness. That’s what we’re going to learn here. To drive away the darkness from your life so that the light above you and in you can shine out. The word ‘guru’, by the way, comes from Sanskrit, the oldest language in the world. And the Tibetan word for teacher is ‘lama’, a translation of ‘guru’ from Sanskrit.

I should like to be your teacher for a while. I shall help you let more light into your life again.”

I was very moved by his words.

“Where do you come from?” I asked, my curiosity now piqued.

“That isn’t important at the moment. The important thing is that you have found your way here. You have come and that is good... Are you feeling better, Tara?”

He looked at me with boundless goodwill and just for a moment I had the sensation of a pure and unconditional love. There was a feeling of deep familiarity between us, almost as if we had known each other for eternity.

Yes, in the meantime I was feeling better.

“Then we can begin with a small introductory lesson.” He handed me a cup of wonderfully fragrant Ginger tea. I unwrapped a piece of sugar from its paper and dropped it into my tea.

Suddenly I noticed there was some writing on the paper:

There are but few people in this world

who have the ability to think normally.

There is a terrible tendency to accept

everything that is said and read.

To accept everything without question.

Only he who is prepared

to question something and think for himself

will find the truth.

(Nisargadatta Maharaj)

Surprised, I looked up at the Indian. And Guruji began to speak:

“You all live in very hectic and turbulent times. Mankind has devoted itself to material values and is always striving to increase its external comforts. The Western countries are never satisfied. They have everything and still want more. You have all become slaves of pure materialism. The price you all pay is high – you forget your souls. And that’s how it is for you too, Tara. you are running through your life as if in a race against time. You rush from one appointment to the next and even in your leisure time almost everything is arranged. Fitness centre, theatre, cinema, and so on and so forth. You are a successful business woman who is well esteemed, but are you happy – really happy?”

I thought for a moment and then answered, “What is happiness in the end? I have a job which many people would like to have. I live in a wonderful flat, have stylish clothes and a cool car, and go on holiday twice a year. What more is there?”

“You didn’t understand my question properly, Tara. I didn’t ask you about all the things you have and possess. I asked whether you are happy.”

“What do you mean by that, Guruji?”

“I mean the happiness that comes from deep within. I mean the happiness which flows through your entire body, not just for a moment but as your attitude to life. I mean divine happiness.”

I thought for a moment. Was I happy?

Not always but I didn’t feel unhappy either. “Sometimes I’m really happy. But this feeling mostly doesn’t last. It’s often only for a very short while. But that’s how most people experience life in our society. I thought it was normal.”

“You’re right, that is indeed normal for you nowadays. That’s because, from a spiritual point of view, you are beginners, or to put it more bluntly, mere novices. No one has taught you that a truly fulfilled life has a spiritual side to it. No one has taught you how important it is to listen to your heart.

You can operate computers, fly to Mars, and so on and so forth, but you know nothing about your own soul. And yet true happiness can only come from the soul. Material things bring joy for a short time and they comfort you a great deal. But true and deep-felt happiness can only ever come from your soul.

You’ve learnt to hustle and bustle to develop self-esteem. But being always on the go to get certain things done serves no higher goal.

Yet doing things because they come from the soul does indeed serve a higher purpose and this kind of activity makes you, makes anybody, lastingly happy. Spiritual growth means opening your heart. You don’t have to acquire anything or learn anything to do that. Everything already exists within you. You only have to remember; simply let it happen!

There are still many things to experience on this Earth, wonderful and sometimes wondrous things. As soon as you lift the veil from your eyes a little, you will discover them. Life is a wonderful journey and offers the most beautiful things to discover along the way. Life can be magnificent!”

On hearing these words from Guruji, I was filled with a deep peace such as I had never known before.

“Take some of the speed out of your everyday life, Tara, and leave yourself time to relax and think! Pause to take stock of things and enjoy the simple things in life – the flowers, the smile of another person...!

How are you feeling, Tara? You look a little tired.

We’ll end our small session for today. I think it’ll be good for you to go home now and begin with a time of stillness.

Think about our first talk in peace and quiet and recover your strength! My thoughts will go with you. You can come back again whenever you want, my dear Tara!”

Guruji folded his hands together across his chest and bowed slightly.

Obviously my first induction with him had come to an end.At first I was a little sad, for in actual fact I no longer wanted to leave this place.It was a long time since I had felt as good as I did here with Guruji.But at least I had a lot of things to think about now!I bid farewell by also folding my hands and bowing slightly.Once more I looked into this loving countenance.Guruji gave me a smile and then I stepped onto the pier.

After a few steps I turned around to waive goodbye to Guruji. But what did I see! At the end of the pier I saw the ferry boat and not the raft! I rubbed my eyes. It had to be a mirage. My head began to spin. Although I opened my eyes, closed them, and then reopened them, there was no change: the raft was gone !

I looked at my watch. I couldn’t believe it: it was 4 pm. That was the exact time I had stepped onto the ferry, or rather the raft. Where had the time I had spent with Guruji gone to? Was everything only a dream? That couldn’t be. Guruji, the sun-filled light, the exciting talk. I knew I hadn’t dreamt it all. The whole thing was more than strange: where was the raft and where had the time gone? Questions upon questions. At first I was dismayed; but then I remembered the loving words of the wise Indian: “I’m there for you. You can come back again whenever you want!” When I thought of these sentences, the peaceful warm feeling swept through me once again. And then I knew I could trust Guruji and needn’t be afraid.

Immediately I felt light and elated. Guruji’s words swirled around inside my head and I only wanted one thing: to get home and think about everything in peace and quiet.

The next few days were very strenuous. Things were very hectic at the company and I had little time to reflect on the exciting conversation. There were never ending problems with developing the collection. Nothing went smoothly. Anna tried to help me wherever possible but I had to do most things myself. After all, I was responsible for everything in the end.

Bit by bit the feelings and thoughts I had had subsided and the usual stress and the usual thinking patterns took over once again. Time to reflect – yes, but when? Pause to think, enjoy the simple things in life. Basically it sounds like a good thing, but reality is different. Very different. I can’t allow myself any mistakes. Business life today is like swimming around a shark-infested pool. You get eaten quicker than you can say fish finger.

So there you go: “daily routine consumes the very fabric of our souls!” That’s just how it is.

A pity really, the peace and quiet had done me good. For a brief moment I felt happy again, really happy.

Guruji had asked me what made me happy. To be honest, I didn’t know. Not really.

I like my job. I like my flat. I like my friends. Actually my life is okay.

If only I didn’t feel this sense of emptiness so often. The feeling of that can’t be all, was that everything? And then I’m always on the lookout, searching for the sense in life. Yes that was it. That’s what Guruji had meant. Once more, it did me good to take a step back from my stressful life and pause for a moment to reflect. Seven days had now already passed since that magical encounter. I felt a yearning. A longing for Guruji’s warmth. A yearning for his wisdom.

I picked up a fashion magazine to distract myself and redirect my thoughts back to the new collection. I really couldn’t allow myself any daydreams at the moment. There was enough to do without that. But no matter what I did, my thoughts kept wandering off. When was I happy? I was happy when I had bought that fantastic suit recently. Or during my last holiday on the beach, grilling at that rustic beach restaurant, that was also a time when I was really happy. In actual fact, these were only moments. But after all, such moments of happiness did exist in my life and they were a real source of energy for me. Such moments provide the strength and energy for what comes next.

I continued to thumb through my fashion magazine and suddenly came across a report on India and the sentence:

The greatest meaning in life comes from

recognising oneself as a soul

and striving to unite with

the divine source.

(Swami Vivekananda)

It was a sign! It could only be a sign!

For a moment I had the feeling that Guruji was there in the room with me.

I had to go to him. It was an absolute must!

And I had to do it immediately!

For the first time in my life, I left everything else standing. Regardless of my responsibilities.

For once, my strong sense of duty would simply have to take a back seat. I wanted and needed to see Guruji again.