The Road Back to You Study Guide E-Book

Ian Morgan Cron

• Herausgeber: IVP Formatio
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2016

Seitenzahl: 79

Beschreibung

Missio Alliance Essential Reading List The Essential Study Guide Companion to the Bestselling Enneagram Resource Want to go deeper into the Enneagram? Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile have created a content-rich companion to their book The Road Back to You. For those who don't yet know their number, it will offer further opportunity to explore the numbers, and for those who already do, it offers an opportunity to reflect on implications for growth. This study guide features - An overview of the Enneagram with new material about triads - SNAP: a helpful tool for growth - Five sessions with questions appropriate for personal growth or group discussion, with space to write - Reflections from individuals of each type about what it's like to be their numberWhether you are on your own or meeting with a group, this guide will help you to grow in knowledge of yourself, compassion for others, and love for God.

Leseprobe

THE ROAD BACKTO YOU

STUDY GUIDE

Five Sessions for Individuals or Groups

IAN MORGAN CRONandSUZANNE STABILE

Contents

Introduction

Week One

Do You Know Your Number?

Week Two

The Gut Triad (8, 9 and 1)

Week Three

The Heart Triad (2, 3 and 4)

Week Four

The Head Triad (5, 6 and 7)

Week Five

Working with Your Type

Further Reading

Praise for The Road Back to You

About the Authors

Formatio

More Titles from InterVarsity Press

Also Available

Copyright

Introduction

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks.

Flannery O’Connor

Welcome! Suzanne and I are so excited for you to begin this journey toward self-knowledge. In our experience there is nothing quite like the Enneagram. It describes, often with spooky accuracy, how you see and inhabit the world. It will teach you things about other people that will astound you as you learn to recognize the differences between you. It will show you the worst of you and the best of you, and help you celebrate the gifts you have. The wisdom of the Enneagram helps those who know it to understand differences, practice compassion, improve their relationships and find ways of being in the world that add meaning to their lives.

There’s great wisdom in the Enneagram for people who want to get out of their own way and move closer toward becoming the person they were created to be.

Over the next five sessions you’ll learn how to determine your type and understand it in relation to other numbers. You’ll also learn more about your “triad,” which refers to the way that each Enneagram type is located in one of three centers grouped around a particular way of experiencing the world: through the gut (instinct), the heart (feelings) or the head (intellect). The more you know about your own type and the types of the people you love, the more you can cultivate greater empathy and a healthier balance of all three centers.

Guidelines for the Journey

Here are a few suggestions to help you get the most from this guide over the next five weeks (or however long this takes you—feel free to take more time). First, this study guide is written so that you can go through it with a group or individually; you can either ask the questions to folks in your group or ask them to yourself privately. If you’re doing the sessions alone, make sure that you are courageously and rigorously honest with yourself, since you won’t have the benefit of other people to gently challenge your assumptions or self-understanding. Also, be sure not to rush. Try to devote the same amount of time each week that you would if you were part of a group and were expected to stay to the end. That’s especially true for the weeks that focus on numbers besides your own. Most importantly, throughout this journey continually offer yourself the gift of self-friendship. This work and life are too hard without it.

To the degree we remain ignorant of our worldview, of the messages and beliefs that for better or for worse have shaped who we are, we are prisoners of our history.

If you are learning this material with a group, do your best to be 100 percent present. If all goes well, people in your group will open their hearts and share deeply from their lives, so give them your attention. Get to every meeting, arrive on time, stay to the end, and turn off your phone and put it out of sight. Be curious and open-minded about different points of view—the advantage of learning the Enneagram in a group is that you’ll get to hear firsthand what it’s like to see the world through the eyes of the other eight numbers. Do I need to say that you must promise to maintain strict confidentiality and create a safe climate for others to share their stories and experiences without fear of exposure or judgment? Never mind, I just did.

Whether you are doing this alone or in a group, be open to changing your mind and maybe even the way you relate to the world. A pox on anyone who says, “People will have to get used to me being argumentative, I’m an Eight” or “I’ll always be overly dramatic, I’m a Four.” The point of learning your type is so you can relax your grip on those parts of your personality that are holding you back from living a fuller life, not so you can resign yourself to them. My spiritual director once said to me, “Insight is cheap.” What he meant was information is not transformation. Knowing your number casts a light on what should stay and what you can afford to let go in your life. Knowing it’s hard work will only help you grow in kindness and solidarity with others who face a similar journey.

Week One

Do You Know Your Number?

Goals for This Session

Narrow down your type, if possibleKnow the three triadsBecome familiar with SNAP (Stop, Notice, Ask, Pivot)

To read fromThe Road Back to You: chapters 1 and 2.

Narrow Down Your Type

Maybe you were one of those people who, when you read the chapter about Twos in The Road Back to You, groaned because you just knew you were a Two. Or maybe you were someone who said, “Some things about the Three sound familiar—I definitely focus too much on work and impressing people—but some of the aspects of the One sound like me too.” Or maybe you don’t have a clue yet.

Take heart: a year went by before I knew for sure that I was a Four. Regardless of whether you know your number or not, there’s always more to learn about yourself, so get comfortable. Self-knowledge is a lifelong process.

In this first session, we’re going to try to narrow down or confirm your type. To get started, you can look at the first three questions at the end of this session. (Each week’s questions are gathered at the end of each session to facilitate your thinking and conversation.) If you need help understanding the various numbers, you may want to refer to the quick explanations of each type on pages 25 and 26 in chapter two of the book. This study guide also contains a brief overview of each number.

We don’t know ourselves by what we get right; we know ourselves by what we get wrong. Try not to get all pouty.

It can be hard to talk openly about what makes you feel uncomfortable about yourself or to come right out and say what it is you enjoy about yourself. Remember, you’re in a safe place, and be sure to reinforce that feeling for others by not judging them or trying to “fix” them. And please, don’t take it upon yourself to tell people what you think their number is if they aren’t sure yet. You’ll probably mistype and confuse them—or, worse yet, you’ll guess correctly and rob them of the joy of discovering it for themselves.

No one likes a “number thumper.” You’ve been warned.

Know the Three Triads

One of the ways you can help narrow down your number is to understand the three triads, or centers, that make up the Enneagram. Let’s say you are in that example above, wondering whether you are a Three or a One. Your behavior at times could be typical of either of those numbers, which is why you need to look to your motivations to accurately determine your number.

Triads are helpful in getting us to understand more about why we do the things we do. In general, do you experience and process life more at the level of your gut, your heart or your head? Your Triad indicates which of the three centers (feeling, thinking, doing) you turn to first when you encounter new information or situations. The fact that you favor one of the three doesn’t mean you never use the other two. Just because you’re in the heart or feeling triad doesn’t mean you never think or act. It’s just that each of us habitually prefers one of the three centers (feeling, thinking or doing) for taking in information.

In the table below you can see at a glance which types align with which triads. As you explore this, reflect on or discuss the following questions:

When I encounter a new situation or problem, am I likely to want to do something, anything, even before I possess all of the relevant facts? (gut)When I’m anxious or stressed, are people likely to tell me I’m overreacting emotionally? (heart)When I’m anxious or stressed, are people likely to tell me I’m shutting down or underreacting emotionally? (head)

Thinking carefully about your dominant, default manner of reacting to situations can help you identify your triad, which can then help you narrow down your type. As you go through the sessions that follow, pay close attention to each triad’s characteristics and the descriptions of each number. Don’t be afraid to ask the people who know you best how they would describe your personality.

Tends to act before thinkingAnger is always waiting beneath the surfaceGUT TRIADHEART TRIADHEAD TRIAD When you encounter life, your first reaction is to do something. Tends to act before thinkingAnger is always waiting beneath the surface When you encounter life, your first reaction is to feel something. Tends to be overly emotionalShame is always waiting beneath the surface