Committed Sensations - An Initiation to Homosexuality E-Book

Andreas Frank

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 731

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020

Beschreibung

Same-sex relationships have always existed and will always exist. That is normal. For several years, social research has dealt extensively with same-sex partnerships of lesbian and gay couples as well as with homosexuality and the coming-out of young Lesbians and Gays. Every second man has sex and orgasm experiences with another man, reports Alfred Kinsey, empirical sexologist. This Handbook and Compendium "Committed Sensations" is not only about help and ways for a personal coming-out and a successful identity development with regard to everyday questions like how to build up a network of queer friends, but at the political level it also summarizes topics like e.g. gay-lesbian family politics, state marriage and church weddings - and as well it is about fostering discussions for the central keynotes of lesbian and gay couples within the last 50 years of gay-lesbian movement. From the content: @ Young people's Coming-Out @ How to introduce the friend to parents and in-laws @ Marriage and family policies for same-sex partnerships and their children @ Design of a modern queer/human theology @ Gender as a social construction @ For the homosexual, the private is political: politics for same-sex couples in the Parliament @ Homosexuality is a mature variant of human sexual behavior that is equivalent to Heterosexuality @ Social reporting on Lesbians, Gays and their long-term marriages @ Intimate communication: let's talk about Condoms, PrEP and Safe Sex @ Marketing & Online-Dating-Apps for Gays and Lesbians @ Identity as a statement on yourself @ Loyalty in relationships: The majority of Gays live together with a boyfriend in their apartment. 38 percent of gay men lead their relationship even for more than 10 years @ Church wedding and wedding ceremonies with partnership blessings of same-sex couples @ Lesbians, Gays and same-sex partnerships as a topic at school.

Leseprobe

STRUCTURE

The content of our thinking and belief

shape our personality, our life, our future!

O. F

OREWORD

& I

NTRODUCTION

: I

T

I

S

A

BOUT

L

OVE

O

F

G

AY

& L

ESBIAN

P

ARTNERSHIPS

1. G

ENDER ROLE AS A SOCIAL DIMENSION INDEPENDENT OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

2. P

ERSPECTIVES OF SOCIOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT

: H

OMO

,

HETERO

,

BI OR WHAT

?

3. T

HE INNER PSYCHIC AWARENESS OF A SENSATION

(I

NNING)

4. C

OMING OUT

: T

HE ONGOING SOCIAL COMMITMENT

: "Y

ES

, I

AM ONE OF THEM

!"

5. T

HE SEARCH FOR THE BEGINNING OF A WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIP

L

ESBIAN

-G

AY

N

ETWORK

- W

HERE AND HOW TO BUILD A CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

6. F

IRST COMMANDMENT

: "A

CT SO THAT YOU ARE TENDER

!" A

BOUT FRIENDSHIP

,

LOVE

,

RELATIONSHIP AND INTIMACY

7. I

N LOVE

,

ENGAGED

,

MARRIED

: F

AMILY AND MARRIAGE POLITICS FOR SAME

-

SEX PARTNERSHIPS AND THEIR CHILDREN

8. W

EDDING COUPLES

: W

ITH

G

OD

'

S BLESSING

- L

ESBIAN AND GAY COUPLES IN OUR COMMUNITY

9. M

ACRO

-P

ERSPECTIVE

: S

OCIOPOLITICAL ASPECTS OF SEXUALITY

10. B

IBLIOGRAPHY

Content

Committed Sensations – Foreword to this English Language Edition

Introduction: "Your footsteps in the sand ..." - You can call things by name: It's about the love of same-sex partnerships

Gender role as a social dimension independent of sexual orientation

Gender as a social construction

The redefinition of masculinity and femininity

Crossdressing, Gender Switching and the impact on the New Man

Terms: e.g. Sexual Orientation

Perspectives of sociosexual development: Homo, hetero, bi or what?

The loss of initiation rites

The wild man - a component of masculinity?

Homophobia - reduce fear of the unknown and repressed

Mutual recognition - The mother's own subjectivity as an opportunity for the son's independence?

Expulsion of parents - A way out of the psychological norms?

The sexual orientation cannot be changed

Do not confuse the three variables of biological sex, gender role and sexual orientation: Homosexuality as a mature variant of human sexual behavior

Sex study Alfred Kinsey: would you have thought there were so many? ...

According to Sigmund Freud, everyone is bisexual

Homo, hetero, bi, or what? - Identity as a game: "Human dimensions are more attractive than purely sexual ones"

The inner psychic awareness of a sensation (Inning)

Poem interpretation at school: "Switching"

Identity as a perspective and commitment on oneself

Psychological aspects of adolescence

Coming-Out - Not a point, but a process

The socio-sexual development of identity - Perspectives in comparison between homosexual and heterosexual young people

Encouragement to a self-determined life - And now go your way ...

Coming out: The ongoing social commitment: "Yes, I am one of them!"

Yes, I am one of them!

It is my chance to love and be happy!

And suddenly you know your son loves a man ...

Confident children – Self-esteem and how parents can contribute to it

Everyone should know that we are his parents!

Not just in the family: Living open - coming out as a lifelong process

The search for the beginning of a wonderful friendship Lesbian-Gay Network - Where and how to build a circle of friends

Try an Online-Dating-App for a friendship ad!

Friendships in and through the coming-out group

Lesbian and gay online dating apps - a way of getting to know each other

In the club - I met my friend in the gay sports club

Bars for lesbians and gays

Theory of the scene

For the first time at a gay-lesbian (disco) party

First commandment: "Act so that you are tender!" About friendship, love, relationship and intimacy

Make each other familiar - Approach between the Little Prince and the Fox

About dealing with love and self-confidence

Touched a thousand times, nothing happened a thousand times:

Intimate communication: let's talk to each other - Love at second sight

In times when love is no longer safe, trust can be fatal: protection with a condom is essential!

The aftermath of disappointed love

Loyalty as a value in gay couple relationships

Same-sex relationships are like marriage often designed to last

In love, engaged, married: Family and marriage politics for same-sex partnerships and their children

Same-sex partnerships: e.g. Male couples

In love, engaged, married - Marriage and divorce for lesbians or gays

In-laws and other friends as a family

Bringing in your own or adopted children into the same-sex partnership

Law: Child custody is granted to homosexual partnerships

Gay fathers

Ordinary mothers - lesbian women and their children

Dad, dad, child - A family is a family is a family ...

Wedding couples: With God's blessing - Lesbian and gay couples in our community

That we don't call tenderness godless - because love is from God

Homosexual clerics: "It's just good to cuddle together!" - Study: Every fourth priest (25%) is gay

The split-off womanhood of the brides of Christ: "I myself am the center of revelation!" - Find a spiritual home as a lesbian nun

"Whoever denies himself is cheating on God!" - Homosexual clerics engaged in the community

Plurality of humanity as a constitutive element of the community - design of a modern queer theology

Church wedding in worship for same-sex couples - blessings of partnership at the wedding ceremony in the church

Wedding rituals and dream weddings for same-sex partnerships:

Ten-point plan as a basis for discussion

Could God be both gay and lesbian at the same time?

Macro perspective Sociopolitical aspects of sexuality

The emotional conflict through repressed sexuality is a conflict between the individual and society with its institutions

Sexuality in teaching: It's actually a tender thing - The examination of sexuality in the third school class

"For homosexuals, the private is political!" Lesbian and gay policy through parliamentary debates and the queer “Emancipation & Equality” program

Municipal equality and gender equality policy for lesbians and gays

Coming out at work: not that strange - same-sex partnerships on the boss floor

Marketing and advertising for gay couples: "They have never been as valuable as they are today" - Same-sex partnerships as a dream market

25 or even 50 years of lesbian and gay movement

Epilogue / Intercession:

Attachment: Literature also used & secondary literature

Scientific knowledge that has been established for many years about same-sex partnerships

Committed Sensations - Foreword of the Translator to this English Language Edition

When I was in puberty and discovered my sexuality, which relates to women, of the same sex, I looked for information about what there in the lesbian world was to discover, I was thirsty for knowledge - but also unsure to speak about my homosexuality.

Initial information came from brief discussions about homosexuality at school and in the extended family - at family gatherings - but how I should deal with this topic - was still a task ahead of me. I knew, I had to open myself up to it and at the same time I didn't want to be prompted about the topic. Not wanted to step into a dialogue about gays, lesbians, queerness. Of course, I was too young, still unprepared, what could I have said about it - to feel vaguely drawn to the same sex?

I researched online on the Internet and installed the upcoming years dating apps on my smartphone, which the parents increasingly gave me in my own possession and responsibility. I knew after school I would be in apprenticeship or go to college and I researched what I wanted to do, but above all I imagined when it was time to start my own life and get the school behind me.

On a website for students I came across the German online text of the manuscript "Engagierte Zärtlichkeit" (“Committed Sensations”) by Andreas Frank. From then on, the information and references found therein accompanied me in my path and enabled me to do numerous reflections.

Later as a student I did not write my degree on the subject of homosexuality. As a biologist and theologian for the teaching profession, there would have been many starting points. Nevertheless, it is important that there are bundled resources that provide a compendium for young people, parents and teachers, as well as for all those who just want to find out more about this topic.

For me it was this compendium of Committed Sensations with which I started and grew up in lesbian life, so to speak. In it, many dimensions of gay and lesbian life have been researched, compiled, scientifically proven and referenced, quoted and described with numerous literatures, evaluated and set, discussed and summarized in a lesbian and gay context.

Years after having the online resource available, one could see that numerous gay and lesbian counseling institutions linked the reference on their websites. An essential literature resource for Germany at that time – now soon 25 years ago -, with numerous increases in awareness - in harmony with many other multipliers.

For example, the discussion that lesbian and gays could do many more things together not only corresponded in the union of the lesbian and gay association, the LSVD (the abbreviation for the Lesbian and Gay Community in Germany), but also manifested for me as a lesbian in the expansion of the circle of friends with numerous gay friends twenty years ago.

From today's perspective, I am not concerned with political influences (many are always involved), but that this online resource has shaped me as a person. It was possible for me to read this information in this summary at the right time: It was at a stage when I needed it - in my development status and for my questions regarding the right acting at that time.

Also today, after a handful of relationships, I am now experiencing another generation that continues to report how difficult the coming-out steps still are on a personal level, what feelings of loneliness and also depression are often associated with it and how to overcome these; and further: how first steps were taken with homosexuals that one got to know. Up to the integration into a circle of friends in which you also work for your own rights - then also politically, if necessary.

On the other hand, I still see occasional personal or even party-political efforts to limit the equality of homosexuals and partnerships or even to restrict established rights and social recognition again.

Marriage for everyone is now legally established in many many countries, but not yet in all countries. What is necessary to speed up the legal discussion in these countries?

This prompted us to edit and update Andreas Frank's work, who unfortunately left us some years later after publishing within the 90ies, to translate it into English Language for an international readership and to publish it as a book round about 25 years after the German publication without any profit intention at cost price – this jumbook in your hands here.

It is also due to his credit that he not only assessed sexuality in a single dimension, but also brought together numerous faculties from a micro-perspective (psychology), a macro-perspective (sociology) and a so called meso-perspective, which is attributed prevailing to "social-psychology" - in which the "I in the group" is considered. If not, that he placed homosexuality from an often purely internal psychological perspective of psychology in a perspective of further social interactions and social structures, especially for the focus of personal development of gays and lesbians in the society and their life as same-sex couples.

The edition of the handbook showed that numerous contents and analyzes have by no means lost their topicality. It is therefore to be hoped that the English-speaking readers will find helpful readings and recommend this manual in their countries for extension in libraries or donate it to friends and family members. Although some sections had to be translated automatically by machine for budgetary and time restriction reasons, native speakers may though understand and/or provide soon own summaries and elaborations based on this ressource.

However, based on the tremendous work and the credits of all mentioned reference authors, who dedicated time and work to their writings too, especially for young people and responsible multipliers, this compendium documents the numerous dimensions of same-sex partnerships. Also there are answers to many questions how to find an individual (probably) homosexual life path that is often still ahead of pupils and students.

Thise book-texts inform and encourage - it could therefore be available as an optional resource in the family's freely accessible bookcase or be brought as a gift close to friends and parents to read. To help young people by this translated reproduction of this research resource on personal coming out, being gay or lesbian, and same-sex partnerships was the intention to summarize and document this Handbook and Compendium in English language within this Edition 2020. While reading, it is recommended to use a pencil and highlight all that is new, that is interesting and that, what could be improved.

Caroline Christophers, April 2020

Those

who ever have or will pose a question

about same-sex couples.

Those

who educate and teach us.

And last but not least those

who want to be faithful and tender to a loved one.

Introduction: "Your footsteps in the sand ..." - You can call things by name: It's about the love of same-sex partnerships

"You, our son, by the way, now has a boyfriend", - or something similar is the sentence of a mother who tells relatives and friends about the same-sex love of her son. A difficult sentence for parents? First, maybe: When we learn that a person is homosexual, we are probably a little surprised at first, we still don't know how to deal with it or how to react. This Handbook and Compendium “Committed Sensations” therefore wants to invite its readers to learn a little more about gays, lesbians and same-sex couples. It is an understandably written non-fiction book that backs up statements and knowledge made with references.

Same-sex couples have always existed and will always exist. Many, many men love men. According to Alfred Kinsey, 13 percent of the population is gay and 37 percent of men are bisexual: Only every second man lives exclusively heterosexual. You don't even have to be a follower of Sigmund Freud and psychoanalysis to get this scientific result. According to Sigmund Freud, "all people are able to choose the same sex object": So, everyone is bisexual. What Kinsey found at the time has since then been confirmed by other researchers for other countries and beyond that time.

Same-sex love has always played an important role in human coexistence since the very beginning of history, and it was not only widespread in cultures of ancient Greece. Homosexuality is therefore not only a natural thing in terms of contemporary history or empirical-statistical research - but also especially for lesbians and gays, since the sexual orientation - which cannot be changed, but only lived - corresponds to them. Homosexuality is normal for them as well as for a society. Only those who know little about feeling gay or lesbian feel uneasy. Therefore, this book wants to provide sound information about the life of same-sex love partnerships.

Again: Same-sex love has been lived by many couples and will continue to be lived by many same-sex oriented people. Same-sex sexual orientation is natural and part of God's creation. So it is de facto - whether we humans welcome God's willful creation or not: Lesbians and gays have a right to tenderness, no theologian can afford to judge God's wealth of his creation without reducing or denying God and his variety of expressions: „God looked at everything he had done: it was very good” (Gen 1,31).

Homosexuality is a variant of human sexuality equivalent to heterosexuality: According to the unanimous opinion of the research, there is no qualitative difference between a same-sex or different-sex couples. The question of whether gayness is innate hardly arises in today's research like the question of whether heterosexuality is innate. There has been a change of perspective in order to find out how gays and lesbians live and love in same-sex couples. The everyday organization of social life is of interest.

The sexual aspect is therefore not the decisive factor in this book. It's about the social dimensions of same-sex couples: How does a gay or lesbian pupil comes out and how does a couple live their love in everyday life, how do they organize their coming-out with parents and in-laws, at school, with friends, at work? Why do same-sex couples want to get married or even the church wedding? How have gays and lesbians been portrayed in television commercials promoting gay or lesbian couples in recent years?

Today, same-sex couples are perceived all the more consciously. Not only the media are interested in the social dimensions of same-sex couples, but also social research reports in a contemporary way on the partnerships in the different areas of society: marriage, family, partnership, church, etc.

Based on extensive research, the results were viewed in a secondary analysis, evaluated and bundled in the most important statements about gays, lesbians and their communities. Many insights that were previously only accessible to the specialist public are made accessible to a wider audience in an understandable way:

Who and how are lesbians and gays actually? What does their love look like? How do they maintain and shape their communities? What image do the media convey and what is your own idea of them? We are often told that it is reported that the gay and lesbian movement is about state marriage and church weddings for same-sex couples and about media integration e.g. in marketing and advertising, but also in film and television.

This gay and lesbian handbook therefore does not only want to be a consultant in matters of personal interaction with same-sex love (e.g. for parents of gay adolescents) - it also wants to deal as reading resource with the current situation of lesbians and gays and their social integration and initially only provide information.

So, this book is not provocative. It is an understandable representation of same-sex couples in today's contemporary way, based on extensive research. It is in no way about summarizing emancipatory theses. Rather, the results are presented through facts that are precisely documented in human sciences, and perspectives are opened, as can be seen from the status of integration of same-sex partnerships at the end of the 20th century.

As a non-fiction book, the volume is therefore not only aimed at lesbians, gays and their communities with their children, but e.g. also to the parents and in-laws of a lesbian daughter or a gay son. But the multiplier public, such as teachers, journalists, politicians etc., will also find further literature references in the information sections attached to each chapter.

Further integration will relate in particular to the following areas; further research is required here:

Marriage and family policy

for same-sex couples (especially: marriage law in those states, who have not discussed equality so far, and: adoption as well as custody of children),

Youth education policy

(youth work concepts, gay-lesbian didactic concepts / textbook reform, promotion of youth coming-out groups, sexuality guidelines and particularly very early education of (apparently heterosexual) young pupils about same-sex couples),

Development of concepts for a

new magisterium for the churches

as orientation (church weddings and weddings as a public ritual to strengthen a relationship),

Perspectives of

cooperation between lesbians and gays

(e.g. in communication centers: joint gay and lesbian activities, workshops and parties) and the (political) structures of women's emancipation (e.g. municipal gay and lesbian equality officers),

Implementation of

education and media policies

on same-sex couples (e.g. new, up-to-date books in city libraries, television reports, multiplier concepts, etc.),

Advertising and marketing

for same-sex couples: portraits of gay or lesbian couples who are close to everyday life, how they live their everyday lives / social liberalization and integration through positive public relations (also of business enterprises),

Options for the

use of the Internet

by and for lesbians and gays: Not only access information, but also get to know friends through dialog functions and

dating portals and apps such as Gayromeo, Gayroyal or Grindr,

Cognitive processes of identity development

and the potential of support services from parents and the family to be educated (coming out within and with the family / coping strategies of loneliness, being different, isolation and “not being able to find the right partner” / cognitive orientation towards the option of own family formation: compatibility of being gay and having children / development of motivation after the end of a same-sex relationship),

Communicative aspects

of sensation and tenderness (e.g. addressing the need for condom use / "relationship work" in the case of infidelity and / or jealousy).

In the future it will be a matter of further considering the social dimensions of same-sex couples in the areas mentioned: It is about looking at "integration", not about "discrimination". Visionary perspectives are more important than the perpetual continuation and consolidation of traditional clichés. What is needed in media reporting, for example, are portraits of same-sex partnerships and couples - in their social dimensions - and that has little to do with sexuality: Dieter and Detlef cooking, worshiping, at the registry office and in the commercial.

Andreas Frank, 1996

Chapter 1

1. Gender role

as a social dimension independent of sexual orientation

Handbook & Compendium `Committed Sensations´

Gender as a social construction

The redefinition of masculinity and femininity

Crossdressing, Gender Switching and the impact on the New Man

Terms

Information section

Gender as a social construction

With matter of course people are divided into women and men. The existence of two sexes is not considered to require further explanation, it is set as an apparently objective fact by biology. Even where one considers the "gender" or "gender role" as the result of social imprinting, the gender difference is made based on the biological difference.

As a result, however, the question of the “typical”, to be acquired forms of action and behavior, abilities, properties - exactly what the term male or female “social character” seeks to capture - recedes. All the more important are the insights that are based on a cultural coding of gender and gender relationships: Masculinity or femininity cannot be traced back to the biological sex (genitals) and even the "gender-typical" (social) characteristics, the psycho-social gender difference (e.g. aggressive dominance behavior is attributed to men) differ according to frequency or intensity: „The variation of social gender characteristics within a gender is larger in almost all research than the difference between the mean values for each gender“ (see Gildemeister op.cit.:225).

Taking the argument seriously that people are "by nature" through and through social beings also means including "gender". Physicality and gender are the results of social and cultural processes based on symbol-mediated social interaction and cultural and institutional deposition and consolidation. That means: Also, the dichotomy of sex and gender, its consequences and interpretations are the results of social constructions. So, “gender” is constructed socially in everyday life and in dialogue with others.

Initially, it is not about denying the biological basis of humans. The dialectic, the interplay of “being a body” and “having a body” is not exposed to it but is fundamental for the appropriation of identity factors. Men and women are nature and culture - and in the mutual interlinking of both women and men are then produced or: “created” (op.Cit).

But even biologists do not separate sharply into a dual gender and rely on a sliding "more or less" instead of a rigorous "either-or", such as the realization that in mammals the genetic sex need not match the somatic (physical) sex. A collection of all body characteristics, which are used in biological gender determinations, would in no way result in a gender definition for all persons, which clearly applies from birth and remains unchanged.

Opposing gender only becomes a fact in everyday social life. Essential elements of our culture are based on everyday theories and basic assumptions about the "natural naturalness" of the gender of the social. This includes the inevitability of assigning a person to the female/male category system. Everyone is recorded by gender, nobody can avoid the strict “two-valued classification”, the rigorous “either-or”. The rule of incompatibility and immutability applies: everyone must be male or female at any time - one of both, not both at the same time. All cultural standards of behavior / constants can be acquired in the form of gender conformity, and that means for a society that is based on the polarization of gender roles and the generalization of their effects: There is no identity and individuality outside of gender (see Gildemeister op.cit).

This social coding of the two categories is not or only little reflected in the social actions, it belongs to the central repertoire of everyday routine perception and social action. "Woman", "man", "female", "male" are acquired as symbols in social interaction and are at the same time a prerequisite for participation in communications: Social interaction is therefore not a medium in which "gender" acts as an action-influencing factor, but a forming process of its own kind, in which "gender" and "sex identity" are learned and produced by the actors and subjects interpreting social reality.

In other words, people are not initially assigned to one or the other gender because they act accordingly and have the corresponding characteristics, but their actions and behavior are assessed and evaluated on the basis of an assignment to a gender category, whereby, as with other processes of creating social order, exceptions, inconsistencies and breaks have to be dealt with on a daily basis. Such behavior and property assignments are always fictitious, do not apply “literally”.

Gender identity should therefore not be limited to defining yourself as female or male, but encompasses complex processes of appropriation after birth through socialization: We are “made” to be male or female (ibid, op.Cit.). If you look at the individual in his biological and social course of life, the term "gender" can be found on different levels:

the

chromosonal

sex, which is related to the sex chromosome and results from the fertilization, the union of the gamete cells (egg cell / sperm cell),

the

genetic

sex, determined according to the genotype and the gender-terminating genes and normally according to the chromosonal gender,

the

gonadal

sex, the gonads or sex glands. A person with testes is considered male, with ovaries female. The gonadal gender usually corresponds to the chromosonal gender. There are also exceptions, such as the XX male, who does not have a male sex chromosome (Y) but who has a testicle,

the

hormonal

sex results from the proportions of female and male sex hormones (estrogens and progestogens, respective androgens),

the

anatomical

sex, morphological or genital gender, it refers to the (external) genital organs, i.e. to the vagina (labia and clitoris) on the one hand and limb and scrotum on the other hand,

the

natal or birth

sex, also called the identification or midwife gender; it is determined immediately after birth with regard to the visible genital organs and entered in the birth certificate: Whoever has a limb is considered a boy, whoever has labia is considered a girl. On the basis of this definition (with which errors can also occur), socialization and education as a boy or girl begin according to the different cultural patterns for men and women, combined with self-perception and perception of others as male or female (identity development). If a gender is incorrectly declared at birth at first glance, the later the wrong attribution is discovered, the greater the problems will arise, since (gender-specific) socialization has already progressed (comp. BTDS 13/5757). Here the social construction of gender is particularly evident;

the

legal

sex is based on the registration of the male or female gender in the birth certificate,

the

psychological

sex considers the psychological characteristics of the gender: women are considered more tender, men are more aggressive, more virile, etc.,

the

cultural or social

sex, respective gender (comp. op.Cit.):

The social or cultural gender is expressed in the gender-typical characteristics: the social conditions and gender roles, in male and female models, in male and female norms of behavior, in customs and agreements. The social gender is acquired, raised, forced, socialized.

If a person does not behave according to their social gender, it is striking. For example, if a groom appeared in a white wedding dress or a politician in a skirt and blouse came to the lectern, quite a few people would find it inconsistent. The relationships between and amoung the sexes, the relationship of the sexes towards each other, are of outstanding importance for the social gender. This is particularly evident in the different male and female models (in historical comparison or in comparison to other cultures), on what e.g. is considered typically "female", due to changed gender roles and changes in the relationships between the sexes.

While some languages only knows the word “sex”,

the distinction between “sex” and “gender” has developed in

the English-American language:

“sex” is understood to mean the biological, physical sex,

“gender” means the social, cultural sex (the gender).

We know the primary and secondary sex characteristics of women and men (this is also how gender is assigned at birth), but we only know what a woman and a man mean in a particular society after a social examination. It is a social construction of gender: after that, the gender difference cannot be considered as given, but is created permanently and interactively. Ursula Scheu's 1977 book of the same (german language) name established the social constitution of gender with the words: „We are not born as girls or boys - we are made to be so“ (op.Cit).

Gender is not seen as a biological, but as a social construction, that is, something that is or has to be “made” by society and individually understood or “joined in”. So doing gender is a lifelong, recurrent process. Gender attribution is often not based on the primary or secondary gender characteristics, but on other information such as gait, voice, facial expression, posture and charisma. In particular, clothing, the fashion of society (or the fashion dictate of industry) has great socialization potential here: only women wear skirts and the button placket on the left. When men wear a brooch, it is almost considered “revolutionary”.

The "either-or-category" is the framework of our everyday thinking: This is how gender is identified, thought - and: "created" (see Gildemeister op.cit.:227). The "dichotome identification service" (Tyrell op.Cit.) in everyday social processes is therefore dependent on the "production" of gender in interaction, on a show side, something that must be constantly displayed: physical appearance, shape and movement, gestures and facial expressions, clothes, hairstyle, jewelry, voice, even the writing are then evaluated: is it a man or is it a woman? A two-part categorization is, however - if you take a closer look - fragile and problematic: Often we cannot assign people to one or the other gender and ask ourselves whether it is a man or a woman if a man has long hair with a feminine face or a woman is wearing male office fashion. The social construction of gender is therefore crucial, not so much the biological difference between "egg/ovule carriers" and "sperm carriers", which is often not immediately obvious (comp. op.Cit).

In the case of the Americans, the pattern is as follows: Only those are perceived as women who cannot be perceived as men. A person is only female when male signs are absent. In the case of a “man-to-woman transsexuality”, all references to “male” characteristics must be deleted: This affects not only the look (e.g. beard shave) or fashion; it is not just about the rules that are learned to distinguish women from men, it is about how the rules are used (and must) by two genders in their relationships with the social world. Cultures that code, interpret and weight male, female and gender differences differently also show the fragility of the separation of male and female compared to our culture (see op.cit.).

The third gender is now also legally recognized in many societies: There are: Female / Male / Divers (cross X) - even job advertisements (e.g. in Germany) must – according to the law – be advertised by companies in this trinity: FMX: Female, Male, Divers.

Talks about gays, lesbians and same-sex partnerships also face the problem of not being able to categorize this clearly: The category "gender" and the category "sexual orientation" are all too often confused with each other and the characteristics of the category gender (male / female / mixed proportions: diverse) are often inconsistent with the characteristics of the category sexual orientation (homo, hetero, bi, intermediate levels) connected.

Society often attests gays to a feminine nature, which many gays then try to compensate with an exaggerated masculinity (which also means suppressing their anima, their feminine energies, as Carl Gustav Jung would say) - or why they are also a feminine way straight. So it may also be that gays think they have themselves to show up feminine because the society equates (wrongly) same-sex love between men with femininity: It is internalized to the socially expected role when gays act then more feminine as they develop and grow older. Similarly, lesbians are prejudiced that they are more masculine.

However, the sexual orientation must be differentiated from the social gender role. So there are slightly more feminine or conventionally male gays like there are feminine and very male straight men. Likewise with lesbians: there are feminine as well as somewhat more male lesbians. The sexual orientation must be considered separately from the "gender" category: Gay men are not female per se.

The fact that a gay man, whom society often labels as feminine, appears somewhat more feminine in his development as he grows older, plays through and internalizes feminine interaction rituals when interacting with other gays is a self-fulfilling prophecy, an internalization of the label. The fact that there is a sexual orientation towards the same sex does not mean that you have to define yourself as a woman, even as a gay man, wear skirts or have to dress up.

Gay men are often conventional men in their gender roles. If they develop a certain playfulness in their gender roles, this is related to their specific socialization after coming out, namely learning a change of perspective, a different coding of social ways of thinking and dealing: The gay person has to move from a different-sex interpretation of the world to a same-sex interpretation of the world (e.g. when flirting), which ultimately gives him the ability to playfully change perspectives, to try out the unconventional, the contrary to rituals. In this respect, the social labeling of femininity compels the gay man to sometimes play with the idea of putting on make-up, experimenting with it and possibly rejecting it. The same applies to the wedding of same-sex couples: society is expected to wear a white wedding dress at conventional weddings. How does this ritual work with same-sex couples? For example, gays depend on finding their way through the playful experimentation between the conventional and the unconventional - as in the example given for gay weddings: Does a partner appear in a wedding dress or not? Especially when traditions and rituals fade, they are trendsetters here and can offer alternatives through their playful change of perspective.

It has long been clear in psychology that every human being has both male and female (social) characteristics or attributes. Men, especially heterosexuals, often suppress their female proportions because they admit it as weakness to show femininity: Boys are brought up with the sentence: “An Indian doesn't cry”. However, this black and white categorization into male and female must be overcome so that a person - regardless of sexual orientation - matures into a whole. Boys can also cry and men have to show feelings if they want to form a holistic personality. The man must develop his feminine side and the woman must develop her masculine side - as we have seen, this applies regardless of sexual orientation: both the heterosexual man and the gay man must learn to develop their feminine side.

It is therefore suggested for the gender category to think in terms of male and female energies rather than in male and female characteristics. One can also refer to the animus-anima concept, according to which both (female) parts of the anima and (male) parts of the animus are present in the psyche of men and women. Carl-Gustav Jung (op.Cit.) considered the concept of "anima" and "animus" in psychology: This Jungian view of the construct therefore includes the view that both men and women have an anima - just as both have an animus. For the social category "gender"(-identity), this implementation also means a redefinition of masculinity and femininity.

The redefinition of masculinity and femininity

If Carl Gustav Jung in his masculinity and femininity concept of "anima" and "animus" refers to inner feminine and masculine qualities, then we have to realize that he did not speak of sex as such. Neither did he mean the social and cultural stereotypes of these characteristics and the often misconceptions about what it means to be a "right" man or a "right" woman.

Current social roles define masculinity and femininity as gender opposites: In American society, the conventional male self is still often portrayed as tough, strong, virile, independent, realistic, rational, insensitive, etc. The female ego, on the other hand, is considered soft, tender, weak, passive, dependent, emotional and nourishing. Current social roles define masculinity and femininity as gender-specific opposites. The result is a tendency towards value judgments. For example, when a man is said to "behave feminine", he is actually described in two ways, not one. The dictionary defines feminine as "having characteristics that are generally attributed to women, such as weakness, shyness, tenderness, etc., manly, not virile." The synonym given is: female. In American culture, femininity is a trait traditionally attributed to women. So being feminine means "not behaving like a man" or "like a woman". The feminine man is removed from the "male" class and assigned to the "female" class, with the result that the feminine man is no longer a "real" man (comp. Pedersen op.Cit.:24f).

Our collective consciousness and psychological defense mechanisms are apparently still so strong that we cannot tolerate the existence of too much "differentness" within the same sex. This is a major dilemma for today's man of any sexual orientation: Femininity and otherness belong in the psychosexual corner, or you are not a "real" man. Unfortunately, most men also choose to take the path that is expected of them and commit this decision to themselves and their sons, if applicable. As we will see later, they make a significant contribution to homophobia in this way.

Men who refuse to compete with others and choose to expand their range of behavior, more flexibility in dress code and greater emotional openness are therefore often considered to have a sexual orientation: they are often considered "gay" by society designated. Indeed, for some young men, being gay is not just a sexual option, but a clear decision to live a life based on less strong regulations (gender roles). But most boys' fear of being called "gay" is enough to ensure that they have a firm grip on feminine tendencies or traits, at least in public - although being gay has nothing to do with being feminine, it will only equated in society: The gender role is socially constructed and to be differentiated from the sexual orientation.

Despite individual variations, the collective stereotypes of masculinity on the one hand, of femininity on the other hand, and the social equation of being gay with femininity are still so strong that they are reflected in a large part of our cultural forms of expression such as literature, advertising, music, art etc. However, such “properties” should be viewed with caution and some caution, because otherwise there is a risk that terms of masculinity and femininity develop into cultural clichés and the concept of anima / animus is increasingly narrowed. A current Jungian view of the construct of the anima therefore includes the view that both men and women have an anima, i.e. female energies - just as both have an animus: So, everyone has both a female and a male side. The anima is seen in mutual interpenetration with the animus as a comprehensive dimension of human experience: this creates a pair - similar to the yin-yang principle (see Pedersen op.Cit.:26).

And: We must not forget that we are talking about relative psychological properties and not about fixed or unchangeable attributes that are based on biological or sexual determinants. So one can say of every single man that he behaves and reacts due to a combination of specific life experiences, culturally promoted role expectations as well as innate archetypal patterns.

If gender is defined in a metaphorical rather than a strictly biological sense, then both women and men have access to the psychic worlds of both masculinity and femininity. In men, the anima can then be seen as the development potential of “being different”, which is missing in one-sided terms of masculinity: Above all, the anima allows him access to differentiated feeling, interpersonal connection, creativity, spirituality and further development of his consciousness (see Pedersen op.Cit.:27).

Generation X increasingly showed us that young people mix masculinity and femininity: girls wear the same jeans with Doc Martens shoes as boys - and men become a little more feminine: they have long hair, allow themselves more feelings and are not afraid of women Traits. The gender roles intertwine (e.g. through "gender switching") - not only in fashion, where we also speak of "crossdressing". If heterosexual men did not rigidly rigidify themselves to a one-sided male gender identity, even experimented with gender roles (e.g. wearing a brooch) and playfully changing roles (not sexual orientations), they would also play with the playfulness of other (e.g. gay) men social gender roles react less homophobically and better differentiate the category "gender" from the category "sexual orientation".

Crossdressing, Gender Switching and the impact on the New Man

Cross-dressing is not only acceptable for a ninety’s person,

it is essential.

The Guardian.

The androgynous wave, which played a major role in pop culture in the 1980s, did just that. The guiding principle of the sturdy guy, who smelled of tobacco and sweat at most, was overturned. Boy George was played up and down the hit parade, and boys with eyeliner and powder suddenly appeared in the discotheques. They looked like young David Bowies - but they weren't all gay. They only had enough of the rigid boundaries that were drawn between “the male” and “the female” in the gender category and were not afraid to be considered “female” (see Hurton op. Cit:122f).

As the successors of the androgynous boys, the new stars of pop culture gradually pushed into the spotlight: the drag-qeens, cheeky guys in the glamorous fool of women. They call themselves Barbie Q, DeAundra Peek or RuPaul - and were the queens of entertainment in the early nineties.

"The Drag" was the name of a play about same-sex relationships in which Mae West had played on Broadway in the 1920s. One scene was a "drag ball", a ball where forty gays sang and danced. At the time, this raised some dust, because the gay community had never been represented on Broadway in such a shrill, direct manner. In her film "Paris is burning", which was soon granted cult status, the director Jenny Livingston filmed the New York drag-undergound scene for the first time in the mid-eighties. Within a very short time, the social phenomenon had become the latest craze in nightlife. This style is not about imitating women, but about creating characters that are such that their existence goes beyond the concept of "male or female".

In the United States, all the mass media from BBC to USA Today have reported on the new style of gender crossing. It has long crossed the boundaries of the subversive and has gained tremendous influence across popular culture. As the success of the art figure Dame Edna proves: She has long since become a cult figure. This is the punk of the nineties. A paradoxical costume that increases the freedom to cross gender boundaries to a garish caricature. Gendercrossing is a laboratory where a hysterical gender mix is brewed. A symbol for the game with masculinity and femininity, which finds more followers than one would think. How else could it be explained that drag could become the absolute trend phenomenon of the early 1990s. Gender - a small untranslatable word that does not mean sex in the biological sense, but is a central concept of the new feminist theory - as the end point of the idea of humanity, which can be divided neatly into men and women.

"Cross-dressing" and "gender switching" as an illusion - these are important trends of the nineties. Men in women's clothes now populate the cinema screens too. Think of Robin Williams as “Mrs. Doubtfire" (quoted acc. to Hurton op. Cit:122f).

According to statistics, a third of the customers of cosmetic salons today are male. About 5 percent of male visitors to cosmetic salons even get their make-up done with blush, mascara and all the trimmings. At the end of the 1980s, Michael Hopp, then editor-in-chief of “Men's Vogue”, demonstrated his commitment to using cosmetic products to “feel better himself” with the fashion term “Outing”.

Today we live by generous standards, and men who value personal hygiene are no longer automatically considered effeminate or gay: The redesign of male and female energies in the gender category is not automatically communal with the sexual orientation in sexual behavior. German straight men devote almost as much time to personal hygiene as women do today. Cat wash and comb through quickly - only very few are satisfied with that today. According to a survey by the body care industry association, every German man spends an average of 22 minutes a day in the bathroom - only five minutes less than women. Shaving, the unpopular benchmark of male body care, has undergone a change in values. For many, it has developed from a chore to an image maintenance program (see Hurton op.Cit:118ff).

“Cross-dressing” is the magic word. It means: dress like men and still emphasize femininity. Lingerie fashion for women in particular is bizarre. So a lingerie set in a gray pinstripe design with lace decoration came onto the market. The combination is called "Dow Jones". A British mail order company, on the other hand, offers men's lace bodysuits, undershirts and silk shorts in a style that is normally only worn by women. Company spokesmen told the press that their customers are not trans-vestites (or trans-sexual - i.e. people who have their biological sex operated on), but rather happy, different-sex married men who also want to feel silk underwear on their body. They indulge in tra-vestie, dressing up in other (gender) roles, which has little to do with biological gender or sexual orientation. Conversely, the sportswear brand Chevignon has launched the classic men's fine rib (without intervention) for sporty women (comp. op.Cit.:127f).

At the end of the 90s, we found according to Hurton ourselves in the happy jumble of postmodernity, where all styles as patchwork of a patchwork pattern side by side are justified. But it is becoming increasingly necessary to distinguish between the individual terms.

As we have seen, the gender role does not have to match the biological gender (the female vagina or the male penis). A "person with a penis" can play a womanly, effeminate gender role or a "person with a vagina" can play a more masculine role - or not. We call these roles “gender role” (gender identity) and they are socially shaped according to the cultural conditions: So whether men wear trousers and women wear skirts or not, or vice versa, is an educated thing that is handed down culturally and is socially constructed. One does not “dress up” in the (socially) usual (gender) roles of the biological gender, we call Tra-Vesty. Travesty thus designates a type of acting, a type of carnival (drag), where everyone can slip into a role that he can individually design, e.g. does not have to correspond to his biological gender or often also an imitation e.g. a same- or opposite-sex idol.

So if some gays e.g. show up a bit feminine, this is the result of socially constructing them and giving them this feminine “label”, so it is a result that we keep pointing out to them and attesting, that gays are feminine or like “women”. But this is complete nonsense, because gays are and will remain men of the biological sex - as they understand themselves socially as men.

How they shape the gender role - e.g. a stronger expression of the female side (through their clothing, their habit their behavior), or vice versa for fear of being considered female in society, compensate for this by emphasizing male macho behavior in a rib shirt, leather clothing, three-day beard or uniform etc. - is a social construction of the gender role and also the attitude of being gay.

We have to learn to separate and differentiate the existing social gender role in everyday life from the actual biological sex, especially when fashion endows men with previously female attributes and women with previously male attributes. As seen, the English language distinguishes between the terms "sex" (biological sex) and the term "gender", the social role in everyday life, how we present our gender (and sex) in public situations and in interaction with other people. Clothing (fashion) plays an important role here: We are brought up to wear pants or skirts, whether we dress up or not. As a rule, the gender role and biological gender more or less correspond to the culturally predetermined patterns, i.e. the "person with vagina" will wear skirts and will be considered "female" and the "person with penis" will wear pants and will be considered "male". However, the sexual orientation must though still be differentiated from that.

Let´s get the terms clear.

Terms: e.g. Sexual Orientation

Biological sex:

The biological sex is based on the structure of the genital organs: In humans we know female genital organs (such as the pubic area, vagina, oviduct and uterus) or male genital organs (prostate, testicles and penis). [Hermaphrodite beings like some plants have both female and male organs].

Social gender role of everyday life ("gender"):

We learned the social gender role through education and unconscious socialization. It is a cultural coding. Examples: girls make a curtsy, boys make a servant; Boys button the shirt on the right, girls the blouse on the left; Boys don't cry, girls are allowed to show emotions; Boys are allowed to flirt with girls, but not with men, this does not correspond to their collectively expected gender role.

Subjective gender:

The inner gender, how we feel. From a psychological point of view, every person has female and male personality traits or male and female energies (animus / anima energies).

Tra-vesty:

Travesty is derived from the Italian "travestiere", which means "dress up". It is like in the theater or like any person in disguise at Carnival: it is a role disguise. Men who like to take on a female role sometimes play (= pretend) as a female role, so they don't really give up their identity and it often has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.

Tans-vestite:

By changing their clothing and behavior, transvestites want to "switch" to the opposite sex (Latin: "trans") because they believe they are in the wrong body: e.g. a person who feels like a woman with a male body. This experience of being in the wrong body can often be a mental strain, because others do not recognize how the person feels inside. Therefore, if a man wants to become a woman physically through medical intervention and hormone administration because he has long felt like a woman internally - unlike changing roles in travesty - the task is to change or adapt the physical body to personal identity instead. A surgical operation of the genitals is therefore often carried out in order to achieve an alignment between the inner feeling and the outer body. The fashion of the different generation may re-mix some things in the cultural definition, but as long as there is diversity in the social definition of "being male" and "being female", it is e.g. in the recognition of biologically gender-converted - that is, transsexuals - prerequisite that they have previously lived in the role of the gender to be switched. A woman who wants to become a man must have already lived in a male gender

role

for several years, wearing her pants, so to speak, and living her gender role in everyday social life in her interactive construction with society and having proven herself psychologically. This is necessary because the surgical intervention (e.g. breast reduction) cannot be reversed and the psychological coping with the new gender role must be tried before an operation.

Sexual Orientation:

“Sexual orientation” refers to the gender to which one is attracted by his feelings and desires. Different people have different sexual orientations, that's normal. No one can choose their sexual orientation, their erotic desire and erotic attraction. The sexual orientation is fundamentally predetermined, you cannot change it, you can only recognize it, develop it and

live

it with a partner. Roughly divided, we know three basic orientations: "homo", "hetero" and "bi". Alfred Kinsey also divided five intermediate shades between gay and straight on a scale, making a total of seven differentiations. The middle indicates a bisexual orientation (comp. also figure chap. 2).

Going to bed with a woman is for the heterosexual man

the cure, sorry, the fulfillment of heterosexuality.

Norman Nominandum

Heterosexuality:

This means that someone is attracted to a person of the opposite sex. Heterosexuality is a form of sexual love that is equivalent to other sexual orientations.

Bisexuality:

What is meant is that someone is equally attracted to people of both sexes. There is often talk of “bi”. There is a consideration that bisexuals cannot fully support homosexuality or therefore cannot find a partner for a longer period of time, so that they prefer to be identified by the term "bisexual" rather than by the term "homosexual" - since they still have homosexuality probably not fully accepted or have lived with a different-sex partner in earlier stages of life (before coming out) or even attract this kind of partner in an equal way.

Homosexuality:

Someone is attracted to and desires by a person of their own gender and sex. The term “being gay” has prevailed for men in common parlance, the term “being lesbian” for women. Heterosexuality is a form of (sexual) feeling, experience and sexual love equivalent to homosexuality. For people who are primarily interested in the same gender, we speak of same-sex orientation (or homosexual orientation). The sexuality aspect is not the decisive one, but homosexuality is a love and life community with all its social dimensions. In today's research, one is no longer interested in the emergence of one or the other sexual orientation, but in the social living conditions in which they are realized, such as (for lesbian or gay couples) the partnership dimensions of a (same-sex) cohabitation in family and marriage policy.

The following consideration of same-sex love is recognized - both in the unanimous scientific debate and among church representatives: " Homosexuality is an equal and equivalent variant of human sexuality, one of the many varieties of human sexual and partner behavior. Nobody can determine their own sexual orientation - this also eliminates all moral assessments themselves. Hetero-sexuality is therefore another form of sexual love equivalent to other sexual orientations. Being gay / lesbian includes much more than just sex. It includes same-sex relationships, love within a same-sex community in which children often live. This is associated with high human demands and values. Sexual behavior is an indispensable and integral part of the overall behavior of a personality. Prevention, control, and restriction of this behavioral element represent a deep, serious interference in the personality and privacy of people and can lead to considerable mental disorders. Possible criminalizations of same-sex love in certain states have no justification and violate the principle of equality. One cannot be seduced into same-sex love, this thesis has proven to be scientifically unsustainable and unsuitable for social theories. Same-sex love does not require treatment: any therapy or prophylaxis is devoid of purpose. The sexual orientation is unchangeable, it is important to recognize it, develop it and live it with a person. Nobody can be "reversed" from their sexual orientation, not even through homosexual or heterosexual acts. Same-sex love can therefore be seen as a natural variant of human sexual and partner behavior as an enrichment of the forms and possibilities of self-fulfillment and human coexistence. The partners of same-sex communities are fully fertile and often bring children from other opposite-sex relationships into the same-sex partnership (family). Same-sex partnership is to be treated like different-sex partnership: in the media, in advertising, in the church, in politics, in case law, in the workplace and at the corner of a businessman" (compilation according to dictionary definitions; also comp. BZGA 1994).

Separately from the term “gender”, the sexual orientation towards a partner with whom we would like to exchange tenderness within a sexual (physical) communication should be considered. The question of when two men are in bed, whether one is the female or the male, is an extremely unsuitable question based on the misunderstanding of the dualistic categories of (either) being male and (or exclusively) being female. Love is reduced to sexuality and sexuality is reduced to an understanding of "in and out" (sexual intercourse) and projected onto the intercourse of two men. Same-sex sexuality, however, must be understood as a comprehensive exchange of physicality and tenderness (comp. also chap. 6). The love and community of a couple includes much more than this reduced view of sexuality. This also means for the social construction of gender: gays are not "women" or "feminine" - they remain men!

In addition to the biological gender (1) and the socially shaped gender role / gender identity (2), we have to differentiate and decouple the sexual orientation (3) and consider it differentiated:

So, there are men who have a gay attitude in everyday life (the social gender roles), but are so heterosexual!

There are men who have no gay attitude at all in everyday life (the social gender roles), who were never thought to be homosexual.

There are men who have a gay attitude in everyday life (social gender role) and are actually homosexual.

There are men who are particularly feminine, have a pronounced anima, but are not gay at all.

There are men who are particularly male-virile and do this because they are gay and afraid of being known as feminine.

There are men who are female, have a strong anima and (but) are heterosexual.

There are men whose gender roles correspond to the socially expected role, but which we cannot easily attribute to a certain sexual orientation: we do not know whether they are gay or straight, because their social gender identity / gender role does not always give information about their actual sexual behavior.

Even if men have sexual contact with a woman: Sexual behavior does not always provide information about sexual orientation and erotic desire, longing and the wish to be close to a gender.

We love human beings - and not (biological) sexes: In this respect, the biological gender (sex) has little relevance in social interaction, e.g. especially not when two people who love each other get married. The relevance is the socially created gender role, the interactively created (attested) belonging to a (one) gender category. It becomes clear that gender, like other roles, is socially constructed. Sexual orientation is different: lesbian women don't have to be overly male and gays don't have to be female. Gays are not women.

The conditions can be such that a genetically male being has the inner

identity of a woman whose drives (sexual orientation) are directed towards the

same, in this case the female sex, so that apparently a hetero couple comes

together. If this couple were to marry, two lesbians would actually marry:

The marriage of two (in this case female) homosexuals is always and

everywhere possible.

To this case, we come back again when considering why same-sex people can enter into a legally legitimate marriage.

Information section 1

Gender roles as social construction

are to be distinguished from the biological gender

and from the sexual orientation

Books to read on:

BILDEN, HELGA: