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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
'Because you're worth it', proclaims the classic cosmetics ad. 'Just do it!' implores the global sports retailer. Everywhere we turn, we are constantly encouraged to experience as much as possible, for as long as possible, in as many ways as possible. FOMO - Fear of Missing Out - has become a central preoccupation in a world fixated on the never-ending pursuit of gratification and self-fulfilment. But this pursuit can become a treadmill leading nowhere. How can we break out of it? In this refreshing book, bestselling Danish philosopher and psychologist Svend Brinkmann reveals the many virtues of missing out on the constant choices and temptations that dominate our experience-obsessed consumer society. By cultivating self-restraint and celebrating moderation we can develop a more fulfilling way of living that enriches ourselves and our fellow humans and protects the planet we all share - in short, we can discover the joy of missing out.
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Contents
Cover
Copyright
Preface
Introduction: Having It All
1 The Sustainable Society
The elitist trap
Getting less than your due
Not-so-simple living
Miss out on what?
Notes
2 Pursuing the Good
Caring about something
The myth of human potential
You can’t always get what you want
Notes
3 The Value of Moderation
The lily and the bird
The moderate character in politics and ethics
Everything in moderation
Notes
4 Marshmallows and Treadmills
The opportunist
Welcome to the treadmill
Defensive pessimism and positive thinking
The tyranny of choice in a world of distractions
Notes
5 The Joy of Missing Out
The beauty of simplicity
The disciplining of the will
The creation of an aesthetic cultural landscape through rituals
Notes
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover
Table of Contents
Begin Reading
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Praise for STAND FIRM and STANDPOINTS
‘An exhilarating broadside against the intense modern pressure to do more, be more, to become happier and more productive, and to “find yourself”. In championing Stoicism over the relentless and exhausting wild-goose chase of self-help, Svend Brinkmann – though he might not like the fact – has written a book that truly helps.’
Oliver Burkeman, columnist,The Guardian
‘A bracing and defiant manifesto.’
The Sydney Morning Herald
‘This wonderfully funny and intelligent book not only exposes the foolishness of the self-help cult, but also offers a concrete and appealing alternative, reminding us that philosophy is as relevant for living our lives today as it has ever been.’
Carl Cederström, Stockholm Business School
‘Every once in a while a book comes along that is both ironic and serious, both funny and challenging, both timely and wise. Stand Firm, with its seven steps toward living against our accelerated culture of “self-realisation”, is such a book. It should be on the bookshelf of every person concerned with the state of the world – or with the state of themselves.’
Todd May, Clemson University
‘Stand Firm is a brilliant, funny, liberating and significant critique of the dominant and individualising hamster-wheel culture that we live in … Brinkmann’s book is for the people, for all of us.’
Politiken
‘A satirical, but also very deep alternative to the current compulsion for self-development.’
Berlingske Tidende
‘Refreshing and timely.’
Standpoint
‘In this crisply written, page-turner of a book, Svend Brinkmann courageously demonstrates how we can stand firm against the tsunami of societal mandates for self-improvement, with their reality-defying instructions for achieving happy, healthy, wealthy lives. Easy and fun to read, Standpoints breathes new life into the old philosophers who have something new and important to tell us yet.’
Barbara S. Held, Bowdoin College
‘A short, clever and witty book which gradually and powerfully builds a forensic critique of the self-obsessions of modern culture. Provocative and highly enjoyable.’
Matthew Taylor, The Royal Society of Arts
THE JOY OF MISSING OUT
The Art of Self-Restraint in an Age of Excess
Svend Brinkmann
polity
First published in Danish as Gå glip © Gyldendal, 2017
This English edition © Polity Press, 2019
Polity Press65 Bridge StreetCambridge CB2 1UR, UKw
Polity Press101 Station LandingSuite 300Medford, MA 02155, USA
All rights reserved. Except for the quotation of short passages for the purpose of criticism and review, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.
ISBN-13: 978-1-5095-3159-2
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataNames: Brinkmann, Svend, author.Title: The joy of missing out : the art of self-restraint in an age of excess / Svend Brinkmann.Description: Cambridge, UK ; Medford, MA : Polity Press, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references and index.Identifiers: LCCN 2018032456 (print) | LCCN 2018035333 (ebook) | ISBN 9781509531592 (Epub) | ISBN 9781509531561 (hardback) | ISBN 9781509531578 (pbk.)Subjects: LCSH: Moderation. | Self-control. | Consumption (Economics)--Social aspects. | Excess (Philosophy)Classification: LCC BJ1533.M7 (ebook) | LCC BJ1533.M7 B75 2019 (print) | DDC 179/.9--dc23LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018032456
The publisher has used its best endeavours to ensure that the URLs for external websites referred to in this book are correct and active at the time of going to press. However, the publisher has no responsibility for the websites and can make no guarantee that a site will remain live or that the content is or will remain appropriate.
Every effort has been made to trace all copyright holders, but if any have been overlooked the publisher will be pleased to include any necessary credits in any subsequent reprint or edition.
For further information on Polity, visit our website: politybooks.com
Aus Mäßigkeit entspringt ein reines Glück.(True happiness springs from moderation.)
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe,The Natural Daughter, 1803
Preface
This book is all about the art of self-restraint and the value of missing out. In it, I argue that, on a collective level, it is absolutely imperative for all nations, but especially the richest ones, to master this art if we are to make a better job of addressing the crises of the present and of the future. I also contend that, on a personal level, it is valuable per se for individuals to learn the art of ‘making do’ rather than wanting everything, here and now. The book makes a virtue out of necessity, mounting a passionate defence of what some might consider old-fashioned thinking about how we live our lives. It also has more of a political dimension than its predecessors, Stand Firm and Standpoints, even though it still focuses on the basic ethical and existential themes with which people appear to be increasingly preoccupied these days. While Stand Firm criticised the self-development mania, Standpoints sought to identify the basic ethical values upon which it is worth standing firm. In The Joy of Missing Out, I discuss ways of living our lives that would make it possible for society as a whole to focus on these values. As such, it works well with its predecessors. To stand firm on one thing, you must necessarily miss out on another. We may not find that easy, but it is nevertheless an existential, ethical and psychological necessity.
As well as a huge thanks to Anne Weinkouff, I would like to thank Anders Petersen, Lene Tanggaard, Ester Holte Kofod, Thomas Aastrup Rømer and Thomas Szulevicz, all of whom have given so generously of their time, reading the manuscript and making valuable comments that informed the final version. I would also like to thank Tam McTurk for his, as ever, excellent translation into English, and finally the whole team at Polity for helping to bring my work to an international audience.
Introduction: Having It All
‘Because you’re worth it’, proclaims the classic cosmetics ad. ‘Just do it!’ implores the world-famous sporting goods company. At every turn, we are spurred on to experience as much as possible, for as long as possible, in as many contexts as possible. Thankfully, we are under no compulsion to actually comply, but there is no doubt that these slogans reflect a culture that has long cultivated the idea of ‘as much as possible, as quickly as possible’. And why not? Why hold back when we have the choice? For reasons of time and money? On the cusp of the 1990s, the rock group Queen sang ‘I want it all, and I want it now’, a eulogy to wanting more that has served as a leitmotif in modern culture ever since.
Life is short – tragically so, in Freddie Mercury’s case – so we have to see, do and experience as much as possible now, before it is too late. No compromise! Or so many people think. ‘Having it all’ has become an ideal, and we must all rush around seizing the day. Carpe diem is one of the most common tattoos, and the acronym YOLO (You Only Live Once) is in widespread (mis)use on social media. We tell each other that it is preferable to do something we might regret than to regret not doing it. Missing out on something is the worst-case scenario. We live with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) – another popular acronym – and are forever checking our phones for status updates, football scores, special deals or whatever happens to be our cup of tea. But doing it all is not easy, and so we need help. On Amazon, a search for ‘get more done’ comes up with more than 2,000 books, e.g. Get More Done in Less Time – And Get On With the Good Stuff. A simpler search on ‘do more’ comes up with more than 13,000 hits, from Do More Better: A Practical Guide to Productivity to Do More in Less Time: How You Can Achieve Your Goals and Live a Balanced Life. What you will not find are many books about doing less – let alone how to do less and take longer over it. But in a stressful age, is that not perhaps exactly what we need to learn?
The question is how to maintain focus in a world full of choice and temptation. We are constantly bombarded with invitations, in the broadest sense of the word, via everything from street advertising to social media. We are constantly invited to do something, think something, experience something, buy something, consume something. Competition for our attention spans is fierce, and when inundated by overwhelming amounts of information it is sometimes difficult to distinguish what is important from what is not. We try to ‘surf the net’ (as they said in the 1990s), this humungous wave of information, but often end up wiping out and struggling to keep our heads above water. Much of our life is now spent training ourselves, in one way or another, to experience as much as possible. We are tempted by quick loans, special offers and just one more episode of our favourite TV series, courtesy of on-demand streaming services. As a species, we have created a society with a cultural landscape, an ecological niche, based on invitations, temptations, choices and special offers, but we rarely practise the art of self-restraint, of saying no and opting out – those are skills we lack both as individuals and as a society. This book recommends making a virtue of necessity and practising the art of missing out.
Learning these skills has become a necessity because for so long our lives have been based on overconsumption, untrammelled growth and whittling away at our natural resources. That is the theme of the next chapter. We can and should discuss the precise details of the crises that humanity has provoked, and which frame our existence, but it is a matter of documented, scientific fact that these self-inflicted crises do exist, and that is one of the foundations on which this book is based. The virtue to which necessity must and will lead us is not some hippy-dippy eco-utopia, but one of the main pillars in a philosophical tradition stretching back to ancient Greece, when moderation was considered an essential character trait. In those days, moderation (sophrosyne in Greek) was often heralded as one of the cardinal virtues – in other words, a necessary component of any kind of ethical activity. According to the ancient Greeks, it is only possible to embody other virtues, such as courage and generosity, if we exercise moderation in everything we do – if we master the art of missing out. If we ‘want it all’, then being good at something specific, including in the ethical sense, will elude us. According to this way of thinking, living a full, rich and flourishing life requires a degree of self-mastery and self-control – not as a form of masochistic self-flagellation or as an ascetic or anorexic project, in which saying no has a value per se, but as a prerequisite for our ability to do our best, as the individuals we happen to be, with the responsibilities we happen to have, in the contexts we happen to find ourselves.
When modern psychology discusses moderation and temperance, it is usually in the context of exercising self-control. While such approaches are significant, in this book the psychological aspect of missing out on something is considered to be only one of several relevant dimensions. I have identified five of them and present them here as overarching arguments in the five chapters to follow.
I start with a chapter on the political argument, which is all about our collective life, and outlines the basic justification for learning to make do. The planet has limited resources but its population continues to grow, and recent decades have seen an upsurge in inequality in many countries. If we want life to be sustainable for the maximum possible number of people – ideally, for all of us – then we need to learn the art of self-restraint, especially here in the richest part of the world.
Next, I introduce the existential argument. In Søren Kierkegaard’s somewhat pompous turn of phrase, opting out and maintaining focus are all about being pure of heart: ‘Purity of heart is to will one thing.’ Existential reflection must entail an acknowledgement that we should not want it all (as the poet Piet Hein suggested); rather, we must pay attention to something specific in order for our lives to be lived well and not just be some kind of amorphous blur.
I then proceed to the ethical argument, which is about our relationship to others, the basic idea being that we are only able to live up to our obligations as human beings if we are willing to miss out on something in order to be there for other, specific, people. It is here in particular that the classic idea of virtue becomes relevant, with its concept of moderation (sophrosyne) as a key component of an ethical life.
The next argument is the psychological one, which in tangible terms is about practising self-control, and why this is difficult amidst the myriad temptations of the experience-obsessed consumer society. The human psyche appears to have a tragic aspect, sometimes dubbed the ‘hedonic treadmill’. Once we have achieved something for which we have strived, we grow accustomed to it and the attraction soon wears off. We then come up with something else to strive for, in a never-ending pursuit of happiness that only stops when we die. The more we have, the more we want. On the face of it, it seems strange that even people in our part of the world, which in historical terms is incredibly rich, work themselves half to death, or worse, in order to earn more. Can we break this vicious circle?
The final argument in favour of missing out is derived from aesthetics. The idea of beauty in simplicity is a classic one, found in both art and science. Perhaps it also applies to the art of living? I argue that there is aesthetic value in simple rituals that organise our daily lives and free up energy and resources for more significant activities. The chapter also attempts to suggest more specific ways in which we can practise the art of self-restraint. Making a virtue out of necessity can become a life art.
Taken together, these five arguments show that not only is there a political imperative to the art of self-restraint, there is also an existential depth, an ethical potential, a psychological benefit and an aesthetic quality to missing out. Dividing the discussion up into these different domains is not the only way to address the issue, and there are no rigid boundaries between (for example) the existential domain and psychology, or politics and ethics. The chapters overlap, but can also be read on their own. I labour under no misapprehension that readers will agree with all five arguments, but my hope is that they will still get something out of reading the book. Some may focus on the psychological dimension and reject the political – others will see it the other way round. My own goal is to draw on analyses of the many different aspects of life to show that missing out has greater fundamental value than most people might think. We can all learn to focus, to opt out, to settle for less of that which is actually trivial – and then hopefully have more time for what is significant. The anthropologist Harry Wolcott used to advise his PhD students to ‘Do less, more thoroughly.’1 Perhaps more of us should heed his advice – not just in our studies, but throughout our lives. To do so, we must have the courage to commit to something and to miss out more.
Notes
1
. See Harry Wolcott,
Writing Up Qualitative Research
, 3rd edn, Sage, 2009.
