The Kindness Economy E-Book

Oona Horx-Strathern

• Herausgeber: GABAL Verlag
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Serie: Dein Business
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 277

Beschreibung

The Kindness Economy is a powerful new force for change in business and a growing trend that will improve everything from how we work to how we live in our homes, communities, and cities. In an age of much unkindness, burnout, and notoriously monstrous management, we need a new, positive vision for the future. In this book, futurist and trend researcher Oona Horx Strathern offers an optimistic look at how we can create a healthy economy in which we are kinder to people and the planet while still making a profit. Through examples and anecdotes as well as personal and professional insights, The Kindness Economy explores how we can combine values with value and think differently about how we want to spend, work, and live.

Leseprobe

THE KINDNESS ECONOMY

Copyright © 2023 by GABAL Verlag.

First published under the title “Kindness Economy. Das neue Wirtschaftswunder” translated by Axel Walter in 2023 by GABAL Verlag, Germany.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the written permission of the publisher. For information contact GABAL Verlag.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibilities for them.

Bibliographic information published by the Deutsche Nationalbibliothek.

The Deutsche Nationalbibliothek lists this publication in the Deutsche Nationalbibliografie; detailed bibliographic data are available in the Internet at https://dnb.dnb.de.

ISBN (print): 978-3-96739-151-0

ISBN (epdf): 978-3-96740-345-9

ISBN (epub): 978-3-96740-346-6

Cover and book design by Maureen Forys, Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Illustrations by Julian Horx

Editorial services by Rachel Monaghan

Photography by Aria Sadr-Salek

Printed in the United States of America

To my wonderful “beings,”Tristan and Julian

CONTENTS

PREFACE

Is There an Alternative Economy?

INTRODUCTION

1 DEGREES OF KINDNESS

The Good, the Bad, and the Random

2 THE MONKEY’S BOTTOM

The Rear End of Capitalism

3 PRINCIPLES OF THE KINDNESS ECONOMY

Ringing the Bell for Possibilism

4 HOW TO SURF YOUR WAY TO KINDNESS

Riding the Waves of Change

5 MAVERICKS, MILLENNIALS, AND THE MONTAGU PRINCIPLE

Who Will Create a Kinder Economy?

6 THE CARING CITY OF THE FUTURE

Kindness in the Chaos

7 THE RISE OF THE INDIVIDUALISTIC COMMUNITY

Nourishing the Hungry Social Biome

8 ALICE IN CERTIFICATION WONDERLAND

Entering the Age of Accountability

CONCLUSION: THE FUTURE OF KINDNESS

Evolving from the Anthropocene to the Symbiocene

Acknowledgments

Notes

About the Author

PREFACE

Is There an Alternative Economy?

Is there an alternative to “capitalism”? This tricky question played an existential role in my youth. At university there were at least twenty different Marxist groups running around. Marxists, Leninists, Trotskyists, and lots of strange subgroups that were devotees of clever theorists. They all fought furiously, constantly accusing each other of being traitors, but nevertheless marched together against “capitalism.”

Thank goodness getting rid of capitalism didn’t really work. Because wherever it was abolished, it paved the way for a nasty dictator and a brutal regime. This is still very much the case today, and doesn’t appear to be stopping any time soon.

At some point we finally understood: abolition alone will never be enough. In fact, it’s pretty stupid. But still today the whole problem of capitalism has never really been resolved, and it is still hotly debated.

I like to put “capitalism” in quotes because it is a term that can and has been used to cause serious mischief. So what is it, anyway? Is it just about the rule of Wall Street, as the far left and far right are now both claiming in the same tone? Is it the stock market speculation that led to the biggest possible banking crisis in 2008–2009? Is it the fact that rents are rising? Or is it about home ownership? It’s easy to become obsessed with emotive words and narrow one’s view of the world when it comes to profit. We also need to ask ourselves: Are the gentler welfare states of the European North even considered to be “capitalist”? Is a balanced, creative market economy possible? Or is it all just dark “neoliberalism” that rules, raising its bloody head again and again? Is capitalism just the rule of the “evil economy”? And what will happen to it in the future?

This book by my wife, Oona, poses an interesting new thesis. Could, she asks, an economy also be kind? Could it be based on human connections and relationships? And could the economy undergo a kind of evolution whereby the basic logic changes?

Impossible, say all those who divide the world into neat boxes and ideologies. The economy, they say, must always be rigid, functional, exploitative. That is simply the very nature of it. In this way of thinking it must oppress, exploit, and be “unjust”; otherwise, there would simply be no growth and no prosperity.

As the wise German intellectual Hans-Magnus Enzensberger once said so beautifully, “Money alone won’t make you unhappy.”1

If you asked me today what I think would contribute to a better future, I would say two things. Or better still, three:

Friendliness

Affection

Respect

All of these attributes can be found in the spirit of the English word kindness. I envy my wife for her mother tongue, in which both the complex and emotional can be expressed much more elegantly than in German.

So is this not what we’re missing most in today’s overheated, overexcited, digitally accelerated, self-centered, divided society?

There is, one could say, a huge market gap that also reveals a gap in society: the idea of affection or sympathy. Taking an interest in each other. Having the strength and competence to deal and work with each other, to cooperate constructively instead of constantly shouting at each other….

Markets are conversations. This was the premise of the Cluetrain Manifesto, first published online almost twenty years ago, at the beginning of digital transformation. It was the call for the future by digital idealists. Back then, they saw in the digital the potential for the dawn of a new, humane market economy in which people—customers, employees—would take on new emancipative roles. Since then there have been many disillusions. The digital has separated people more than it has brought them together. Furthermore, it has boosted turbo-capitalism (no need for quotation marks here!).

But at the same time, something has happened in recent years that we have largely ignored, or that we only slowly realised during the pandemic. It is that something substantial is changing in the world of work, from within the corporate culture. In the new, younger, less white male management floors, new generations are challenging the “old deal” from both above and below. The old forms of work, of industrialism, of gender-separated nine-to-five logic, are all falling apart and being questioned. Even the positions of power at the heart of the economy are reversed, from capital to labour. The real scarce resource of the future is human labour. Not in the sense of functional integration into functional machines, but in terms of the ability and the will to work.

That which we call the “work ethic” is changing from the need to perform to a demand for purpose. Instead of “Where can I get another job?” we ask ourselves, “What does this company have to offer me?”

At the centre of this incipient transformation is the greatest economic, technological, political challenge of our era: the Blue Revolution. This is the transition from an economy based on fossil fuel and exploitation of resources (including human resources) to a model of civilisation that is about balance.

The kindness economy is an economy in which the relationship of a company (whether large, medium, small, or sole proprietor) to nature, to society, and to the future plays a much greater role than in the old industrial-type model. In the past, social issues were discussed discreetly in the back rooms of the executive floors. Today there’s not a single CEO who escapes the pressure to make a public statement about the company’s responsibilities. What does the company stand for? What are its values? What will it do to find answers to the current crises? Where are its solutions and ideas?

In the kindness economy customers are perceived not only as consumers but also as friends or acquaintances. They are people whom one may even—indeed, must—challenge, for example by offering them a product that makes more sense than what they’re used to buying. Something more sustainable, more beautiful, smarter—not just in its packaging, but in its responsibility to the future.

I believe one can sense quite easily whether a company is being honest in terms of this new responsibility. You can feel if it’s just a trick, if it’s all simply smoke and mirrors. If the company is still chasing the old principle of more and cheaper instead of less and better. In other words, you can tell if it is refusing to acknowledge the economic transformation that has long since begun.

We see our task as a futurist family as opening up spaces of inspiration and opportunity. In order to make them accessible, we find frames and terms that can help us decode the future. We currently live in the Anthropocence, the era in which human impact is dominating the planet. Oona uses the term Symbiocene for the next period that awaits us. This will be driven by thinking, feeling, and acting differently. It will be about connections instead of divisions. Possibilities instead of problems. It needs constructive confidence. To get there, a little bit of (Irish) humour is essential. And a good amount of serenity. Try it. It works. It’s actually very easy. You just have to begin.

—MATTHIAS HORX

INTRODUCTION

The future is not some place we’re going to,but an idea in our mind now.It is something we’re creating,that in turn creates us.

—STEPHEN GROSZ, The Examined Life1

I’d like to start with a confession. This is not a book about the economy in the classic sense. Nor is it really about kindness as we imagine it. The kindness economy is something else entirely. It is a new currency that will affect business and how we consume, but also how we will live and work in our homes, our communities, and our cities. The idea behind this book is threefold. First, talk about economics rarely touches on the word kindness, and second, books about kindness rarely mention the economy. But the third, and main, premise of the book is that kindness is a term, a strategy, and a movement that we will hear more about in the future.

Kindness as the driving force of a new economy is, on the face of it, a hard sell. At first blush kindness and economy are two terms that would hardly appear to be compatible, let alone “get into bed” together. So why me and why now? I’m not an economist (please don’t stop reading now) and no kinder than most people I know. However, with thirty years’ experience as a trend and future researcher, I’ve seen a growing trend toward a new framework for the economy. One that uses kindness as a currency with which we can continue to consume and profit, but with more regard for people and the planet. This is part of an economic evolution from the legacy of the industrial civilisation to a post-industrial economy. It is about moving from the purely profit-based economy to a values-based economy. From the economic miracle to a new value-added economic miracle.

Surfing into the Future

If that all sounds a little too abstract, idealistic, or sentimental, and you are reaching for your sceptic hat, bear with me. As well as my job experience, the other reason to trust me is that I am a surfer. Yes, really. I admit I came very late to the party—I started surfing at fifty-five years old, and I’m still learning. The images and analogies we use to explain trends are the shape of waves, the rhythm of swells, and the tides of change. The way surfers approach catching a wave also provides an easily understood metaphor for thinking about the future. As Wolfram Eilenberger wrote:*

On their sharply cut boards, they dive smoothly under the coming challenges until they turn their backs on their ideal but never completely predictable waves—and then ride them with a range of agile maneuvers and great technical skill. Learning from surfers means learning to love our future.2

Easy, surfing is not. But it is also no coincidence that one of the best, most inspiring, and most successful business leaders in the kindness economy is, as you shall find out, an accomplished surfer!

The Unkind Economy

If you’re looking for a simple reason to read about why we need a new kindness economy, just think about the many examples of the “unkind” economy we hear and read about daily. Listen to friends and family who are miserable in their jobs or whose talent is going to waste. Read Elon Musk’s missive from when he took over Twitter in 2022, in which he proposed to “let go” (i.e., sack) all those who were not prepared to work long, hard hours. You could (and might) of course argue that the economy per se is always unkind in one way or another, as the wealth of economic theories and models that play out on the world stage bear witness. Kindness, in any shape or form, is not something you ever hear of, or even expect to hear of, in association with the classic value chain businesses. Companies like Uber and Amazon have hit the headlines over the last few years for all the wrong reasons. The stories of exploited, stressed workers speak for themselves—and, coincidentally, also for an exploited, stressed planet. Is it really so surprising that these companies are the same ones now struggling to keep their workers, recruit new talent, and in some cases failing to increase or even maintain their profits? Kindness is simply not part of these companies’ DNA, nor of the mindset of their directors and owners. And while they may talk big about shareholder value, business in the future—as we’ll see—won’t be just about value, but about value and values. We will move from the traditional value chain thinking to a values cycle logic, and from efficiency to effectivity.

Trend Logic

So why now? From my perspective as a trend and future expert, it’s a logical development in the so-called trend/countertrend dynamic. This sounds more complicated than it is. Simply put, many (if not most) trends create a countertrend. A trend might be big or small, but since any trend is effectively a change or disruption (either positive or negative) in the economy or society, it will trigger a countertrend or a new movement. It is a force, like an echo, that can be big and powerful. Think, for example, of the current embrace of all things analogue as a countertrend to the big trend toward digitalisation. Or localisation as a countertrend to globalisation. You get the idea. As my husband, Matthias Horx, says, “Megatrends only make sense if we understand them as complex evolutionary processes that are constantly shifting, just as large rivers will adapt to landscape and changes in climate”).3

The next stage in the curious evolutionary adaption process of trends is where the magic happens: the trend/countertrend dynamic in turn creates new fusions, or combinations of trends, which we fancily call syntheses (see figure 1). This is where we can begin to understand the seemingly paradoxical idea of the kindness economy. So, in the earlier example of the trend to globalisation and countertrend to localisation, we are now experiencing a trend to “glocalisation” (meeting both local and global needs). And since a new trend always provides an excuse to make up a new buzzword, we call the synthesis of the digitalisation and analogue trend “omline” (finding an om-like balance between our online and offline lives). Here I’ll freely admit to being part of the “flexitarianism” trend—most days of the week I am undoubtedly and resolutely a vegetarian, but on one or two days I might be “flexible” and eat meat (only happy beef from a farmer friend who is also a neurologist). You could argue that this makes a mockery of claiming to be a vegetarian, but as with many results of these trend/countertrend dynamics it’s a perfect optimisation strategy.

FIGURE 1. Syntheses result from the trend/countertrend dynamic.

This strange new landscape (including the vocabulary that emerges from it) is essentially a new framework for business. Which brings us back to the genesis of the kindness currency or economy. For years we’ve been driven primarily by a highly successful value chain–based economy (Wertschöpfungskette). In this linear logic, more is better, bigger is better, and profit always comes first and hopefully fast. This trend hasn’t been unsuccessful, and we’ve all profited (literally) from it in many ways. What has clearly not always profited from it is the natural world or environment. In terms of the basic trend/countertrend logic, the trend toward consumerism driven by the march and success of the value chain economy has inspired and initiated many countertrends, from the big first ecological movement that took off in the 1960s to the more recent Fridays for Future initiative to models such as minimalism and zero waste. The hardcore countertrend to rampant consumerism is consuming and producing less. But while there are people who will happily reduce their ecological and economic footprint with their lifestyle choices, this is not a trend that has taken off with the masses, let alone outside of the developed world.

You might think it all looks pretty hopeless, but the solution again lies in a synthesis or fusion of the two trends—hence, the kindness economy, which says we can turn things around. Instead of putting profit first, then people, and maybe at some point the planet, let’s change things around. Let’s do what Mary Portas, a UK consumer consultant who first popularised the term kindness economy in her book Rebuild, advises: let’s think about people, then the planet, and then profit. In that order.4

Kindwashing

Kind companies, as we shall see, are more than those who offer a few coveted duvet days per year, a cute therapy dog making the rounds in the office, or a decent espresso machine and free barista training. Just as we have learnt to be alert to greenwashing (when companies make superficial symbolic ineffective promises), we need to learn to spot the equivalent within the kindness economy—what I call kindwashing.

This shift from the value chain to the values chain is not about chasing value, but about adding new values. The question is: Which ones, and how far do they go? Are they genuine and sustainable (economically and environmentally) or just a bit of symbolic kindwashing to distract us from some less kind practices? The kindness economy is really about a whole culture of kindness, and my aim here is to show examples of how it can be understood, nurtured, and, most importantly, promoted as profitable and desirable—that is, how it can attract new talent and investment. When companies aim for social and ecological impact as well as economic success, it can reach much further than just the boardroom or the bedroom. The kindness economy has the potential to encompass and enrich all aspects of our lives. It shouldn’t just be about what we buy or invest in, but about where we live, and how we live. It’s about our homes, our communities, and our cities. It’s about how we work, who we work for, and even why we work.

The Plastic Hours

But why now?, you might be asking. What factors are driving this strange new desire? We are living in what Adam Tooze, a historian of economic disaster, calls a “polycrisis,” a big, interconnected mess of problems that feels bigger (and more dangerous) than the sum of the parts.5 As if war, rising CO2 levels, and the fear of a nuclear winter aren’t enough, we’re also looking at a new widespread disenchantment with classic capitalism seeping into even the most conservative of media and business. Even that good old default Marxism is seeing a comeback. Karl Marx’s Ecosocialism, by a hitherto relatively unknown (at least to the West) Japanese professor, Kohei Saito, has become a surprise worldwide bestseller. Could it also be something to do with the fact that we have been distracting ourselves with the idea that technology can solve all our problems? That changing technology is easier than changing our behaviour? As David Sax wrote, “A digital future’s promise remains intoxicating, because rather than wrestle with the complexities of human reality and the lessons of history, it serves up a fresh start, like some Martian colony that Elon Musk is fantasising about after a rough day in the Twitter mines.”6 Or is it the realisation that thanks to movements like Fridays for Future, we are more aware of the environmental challenges facing our children and grandchildren? Or maybe thanks to the rise of women in the workplace and business?

“There are in history what you could call ‘plastic hours,’” wrote the philosopher Gershom Scholem. He describes these as the crucial moments when it is possible to act. If you move, then something happens. But crucially, nothing happens unless you shift your thinking. These strange plastic hours are moments when the collective feeling and social order suddenly shifts, when stasis gives way to irritation and change, and then people can begin to hope. Plastic hours are rare, and usually triggered by a crisis. Alongside the well-documented and shifting environmental and economic challenges, we are also facing disillusionment of the workforce, societal discontent, and loneliness on a scale never seen before. The decades-old, profit-driven business strategy of “not giving a damn” about people or the planet is clearly no longer tenable for the multitude of challenges we face both environmentally and socially. It’s time, as Mary Portas says, to “give a fuck” about the future.

Give a Damn

I would like this book to make you want to give a damn. If you think the notion of a kindness economy sounds a bit soppy, weak, boring, harmless, or impossible, then think again. Kindness has many sides and much potential. It can be oddly cruel, it can be annoying, it can be strange, it can even be surprising. But, most of all, it should not be underestimated. In this book there are symbolic and moving examples of companies and people leading the way. It is not a definitive list. They are not the be all and end all. Nor are they all saints or squeaky-clean saviours. Moreover, they are not (yet) in the majority, but they are all showing the path toward a different way of doing business.

You will meet the people behind the companies that will inspire the next generation of entrepreneurs, designers, and city planners, who will also learn from their mistakes, take guidance from their legacy, and hopefully follow in their path (or in their wave if they’re surfers!). I want to inspire us as consumers, employees, employers, and business leaders to think and act differently. I also hope the book will provide an antidote to a time dominated by cynicism and pessimism. It is about strategies to build a better society, purposeful workplaces, kinder cities, and a better quality of life for us all. Kindness will be a powerful force for change as we search for meaning in our work, in our lives, and for our future. As Gina Miller, businesswoman and activist, told Mary Portas: “I think we are at a crossroads of deciding which path we take. The one where we give up and people think there is no hope, there is systemic failure, that we are living in broken countries and broken societies. Or the one that says actually if we come together as a stream of consciousness we can actually fertilise a different future. We can really water hope and spring a new life into the future.”7

Last but not least, my goal is that of Austrian-American psychologist and philosopher Paul Watzlawick. Introducing his book, How Real Is Real, he wrote:

It is my unabashed intention to entertain the reader … Some of the examples used … may seem frivolous, but they should not mask the underlying seriousness of the enterprise. There are two methods of scientific explanation. One is to expound a theory and then show how observable facts bear it out. The other is to present examples from many different contexts to make obvious, in a very practical way, the structure that they have in common and the conclusions that follow from them. In the first approach, the examples are used as proof. In the second, their function is metaphorical and illustrative—they are meant to demonstrate something, to translate it into a more familiar language, but not necessarily to prove anything.8

I have chosen both approaches. And as Watzlawick says, “I hope to engage the reader to enter the complex field of reality formation by the back door. No prior knowledge of the subject matter is necessary.”

—OONA HORX STRATHERN

Dunfanaghy, Ireland, 2023

* Unless otherwise noted, all translations from German throughout the book are my own.

1

DEGREES OF KINDNESS

The Good, the Bad, and the Random

If you wish, as I do, to build a society in which individuals cooperate generously and unselfishly towards a common good, you can expect little help from biological nature, Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish.

—RICHARD DAWKINS1

Kindness is much more complex and tricky than it sounds. Strangely, kind is not always sweet. It is one of those devilish qualities or acts that at first sounds perfectly harmless, but when looked at more closely can be not only controversial but also complex and surprising. We should all strive toward a kinder society and economy, but we should also beware of the pitfalls and the problems. Leaving biblical definitions aside, even the dictionary hides a multitude of sins. Officially, the Cambridge Dictionary defines kindness as “the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality.” Interestingly, definitions generally exclude any kind of profitable activity, which is where the idea for this book came in.

But first let’s think about the essence, the nuts and bolts, of kindness. If we take a closer look at the evolutionary purpose of kindness, inspect our own preconceptions and motivations, other facets and questions emerge. Instinctively, we feel more comfortable with the idea of kindness as generous, nice, sweet, innocent, and empathetic. But many stories of kindness are tainted with pathos, considered corny, a bit naff, or—worse still—something reserved for slightly demented old people or women. This might sound a bit harsh, but it does serve to illustrate that there is not just one cuddly approach to kindness. On closer inspection, we find not just the good, but the bad and even the ugly side. It can, as we shall see, be boring, cruel, laughable, and, counterintuitively, selfish. When I first started to think about the meaning of the words kind and kindness, I noticed not only that the economic element was absent but that there are many different contradictory interpretations and uses that may have something to do with age, personality, upbringing, or (as we shall see) hormones!

Kind of Ambiguous

There is a word that frequently gets used when people don’t like something (usually experimental food) but don’t want to offend anyone. They say it is “interesting,” hoping to get away with a white lie. Similarly, I remember the ambiguous use of the word kind when I was young. It was in that horrible hormonal phase of starting to like boys, and I recall it all being a bit confusing and contradictory as to which characteristics were attractive. In the schoolyard a gaggle of us giggling girls would pick apart potential suitors and their qualities. “He seems really kind” was never considered a great compliment, or if you thought so, you kept it to yourself. There was also a consensual fatal attraction to the bad boys, who just seemed inherently more exciting and enticing. I put it down to hormones. Likewise, the boys were clearly not interested in nice quiet girls like me. They wanted someone and something a little more fun. Again, I put it down to pesky teenage hormones. An admittedly non-scientific survey of my now grown-up friends (both male and female) has revealed this was a thankfully short, rather ugly phase in the evolution of all our desires and relationships, and many, if not all, have subsequently found wonderfully kind and loving partners. I too have since married a lovely kind man, but raise my eyebrows whenever anyone uses the word kind in a slightly ironic, oblique, or cynical fashion.

Ugly Kindness

We would in our hearts like to believe that acts of kindness are always well intentioned. But interestingly this is not always the case. Kindness can be driven by selfishness or non-altruistic behaviour even when we are trying to impress upon our friends, customers, employees, or the recipient that our intentions are pure and good. Take this innocent-looking scenario: An older white-haired lady is sitting quietly at a table in a shopping centre. Clearly tired from shopping and taking time to rest and have a cup of coffee, she is approached by a smooth-faced young man awkwardly clutching a small bunch of rather ordinary-looking flowers. Bending down, he asks her if she wouldn’t mind holding them for a moment while he then proceeds to take a jacket out of his rucksack. Once he has very demonstratively put it on, he turns to her, says, “Have a lovely day,” and walks off, leaving her awkwardly holding the flowers. He has a smug little smile on his face. This scene was posted on TikTok by the perpetrator, Harrison Pawluk, with the caption “I hope this made her day better.”

How sweet, you think. But then you look closer at her face. Not only does she look bemused (understandable), but she appears to sigh, looks irritated, and most significantly seems spectacularly devoid of any facial expression that would shout gratefulness or joy. She even tried to give the flowers to Pawluk’s team when she spotted them filming the scene. Some might say that was an unkind, ungrateful reaction of a typical grumpy old woman. It turns out that Maree, as she is called, was not happy. And for good reason. When tracked down by reporters for Australian TV ABC, she told them quite resolutely that she felt like clickbait: “He interrupted my quiet time, filmed and uploaded a video without my consent, turning it into something it wasn’t … I feel he is making quite a lot of money through it.”2 She didn’t want pity, she didn’t want the flowers, and she certainly didn’t appear to need her day to be “made better,” as Pawluk had taken the liberty to assume. Indeed, he might not have made these assumptions or even approached her had she been a bored-looking middle-aged man. But then he might not have got 50 million views for the video.

Such videos are part of the trend of so-called random acts of kindness, thousands of which get promoted, are reposted, and go viral on social media. There is even a foundation and website devoted to random acts of kindness (RandomActsOfKindness.org). The “acts” listed, such as giving someone a seat on a crowded bus, are what I would call regular good manners that in an ideal world would be considered normal behaviour. Perhaps the clue is in the word perform. One of the oft-quoted and well-intentioned ideas behind these “acts” is that that if you receive an act of kindness, then you should in turn do something kind for someone else. And so on. If it was really working, by the law of cumulative mathematics, I would expect the next generation to be inundated with hundreds of random acts of kindness every day.

Many of these actions simply reduce kindness to a meme, a cultural gene that is only really valued when filmed and posted. Quiet acts of kindness get bad press, or rather no press. Leaving aside some cringeworthy, selfish TikTok stars who are giving kindness a bad rap, the intentions of most of the random acts of kindness activists—or RAKtivists as they call themselves—are for the most part good and all very well meaning. Yet I suspect that many of these acts are an unwelcome hindrance or diversion to working toward a real, effective kindness economy for everyone.

Cruel to Be Kind

The phrase “cruel to be kind” is one of those horrible bits of “wisdom” that is used far too casually and often in the strangest situations. Among the more banal examples, it could be used to stop someone from eating another bar of chocolate or a big fat sugary doughnut under the premise that it is for their own good. Or trickier, as some argue, it might be used to justify not giving money to drug-addicted or alcoholic beggars on the street in the misdirected belief that it will help them get over their dependency.