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'The one that got away' is the best-known phrase in fishing. Every angler has at least one story of being outwitted by a huge fish. A refrain of the angler, a taunt from those who live with them: it neatly sums up the way in which anglers are obsessed with the fish they almost caught. Yet to hear a fisherman tell the story of an escapee leviathan is to gain a great insight into why he fishes in the first place and why his sport is the most popular in the world. This is a collection of original stories from well-known angling enthusiasts and writers. They tell of unforgettable fish hooked and lost, of glimpsed monsters which haunt the imagination and draw the narrator back to a particular river or lake, time and again, in search of a re-match. David Steel loses his first-ever salmon after an epic struggle on the Ettrick; George Melly is upstaged by a giant Usk brown trout; Jeremy Paxman describes a fishing trip Sri Lankan style; Max Hastings is punished for being blasé and Bernard Venables – extending the definition of 'fish' – relates a thrilling but tragic whaling adventure in the Azores. Chris Yates, former holder of the British carp record, tells of his close encounter with an even bigger carp; David Profumo is humiliated by a 400lb shark; Brian Clarke has his angling life marked by a monster pike and Conrad Voss Bark actually helped his fish get away.
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The Contributors
Publisher’s Note
THE BASS AT THE MERE Nigel Haywood
LAST CAST ON DAL HARRALD Max Hastings
TOO SOON AN AGE Brian Clarke
THE FISH BY THE THISTLE Sidney Vines
WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS YOUNG David Street
MISADVENTURE AT MALINDI Julian Paget
JILTED BY THE QUEEN Chris Yates
ISLAMORADA Neil Patterson
NEVER TRUST A POACHER David Steel
PUTTING YOURSELF ON THE LINE David Profumo
POOL OF THE SUMMER SHEILING Bruce Sandison
THE TROUT THAT SAID THANK YOU Conrad Voss Bark
OVER THE VOLCANO Bernard Venables
GOING FOR BUST Chips Keswick
PLAYING THE APRIL FOOL George Melly
ONE THAT SHOULD HAVE GOT AWAY Jeremy Paxman
THE MONSTER OF CLAPHAM BECK Laurence Catlow
GEORGE MELLY
Professional jazz singer; music, art and film critic; author of several books – George Melly was a man of many artistic talents. He had a lifelong passion for angling, and in later life made his home in the Welsh Marches fishing on his local river, the Usk.
DAVID STEEL
The Right Honorable Lord Steel of Aikwood, was Member of Parliament for Tweedale, Ettrick and Lauderdale (1965-1983) and was leader of the Liberal Party between 1976 and 1988. He likes best to fish the rivers and lochs in or near his former Scottish border constituency.
JEREMY PAXMAN
Well-known for his tough line in interviewing on BBC’s Newsnight (which he presented for 25 years) Jeremy Paxman also writes for national newspapers and magazines, and has written many books on subjects ranging from the British establishment, Friends in High Places (1991), to his portrait of a people and a nation, The English (1999). He currently presents the BBC programme University Challenge.
SIDNEY VINES
Serving with the Royal Artillery in 1944 Major Sidney Vines was among the first to land on the Normandy beaches. After the War he became a restaurateur in Southampton. He was a friend of Frank Saywer and facilitated the re-issue of Sawyer’s classic Keeper of the Stream, followed in 1884 by a full biography of Sawyer, Man of the Riverside. His final book was The English Chalk Stream.
MAX HASTINGS
Sir Max Hastings Hastings was the first journalist to enter the liberated Port Stanley during the 1982 Falklands War. For ten years he was editor and then editor-in-chief of the Daily Telegraph. As a child, he preferred shooting to fishing with his father, the well-known country writer Macdonald Hastings. But in recent years, he has become a devoted salmon fisher, above all in the north of Scotland.
JULIAN PAGET
Sir Julian Paget served for twenty seven years in the Coldstream Guards retiring as a Lieutenant Colonel. He has written many books, mainly on military history, and organises battlefield tours. He is a former President of the Flyfishers’ Club, London.
DAVID PROFUMO
Sea Music (1988), was David Profumo’s widely-acclaimed first novel. A mad-keen angler from as early as he can remember, he now writes on fishing for various publications and is a regular contributor to Country Life. He co-wrote The Magic Wheel (1986), an anthology of fishing literature.
CHRIS YATES
Author of The Secret Carp and Falling in Again, Chris Yates has a reputation as the most articulate voice in coarse fishing. He is a professional photographer, former holder of the British rod-caught carp record (51½lbs) and he co-presented a major TV fishing series, A Passion for Angling, which set the standard for the next three decades.
NIGEL HAYWOOD
Recently retired Governor of the Falkland Islands, former First Secretary in the Foreign Office, ambassador to Estonia and Consul-General in Basra, Nigel Haywood has fished all his life.
NEIL PATTERSON
Former Creative Director of Young & Rubicam, Neil Patterson went on to co-found and run a major advertising agency. He is an ardent, globetrotting flyfisher and fishing writer and his brilliant trout fly inventions – such as the Funneldun – have become standard chalkstream patterns.
DAVID STREET
Fishing in Wild Places (1989), an angling memoir, established Reverend Street as an exceptionally good fishing writer. He has contributed to Trout & Salmon, Trout Fisherman, Shooting Times, and other journals. On retirement from the priesthood, he lived in county Durham where he wrote, visited prisons... and fished.
BERNARD VENABLES
Bernard Venables, the artist and writer, is known to anglers throughout the world for his cartoon character Mr Crabtree whom he invented while working on the Daily Mirror. In 1953 he co-founded and directed Angling Times and later was founder-editor of Creel. His TV and radio broadcasting and his many books made him an all-round angler of Waltonian stature.
CHIPS KESWICK
Sir John ‘Chips’ Keswick has been a keen fisherman from the age of six when he learnt to catch small trout from Scottish burns. Nowadays, his fishing is mainly on the Test or the odd week in the Highlands. A career banker for over 50 years, he is a former Chairman of Hambros, and he is Chairman of Arsenal Football Club.
CONRAD VOSS BARK
Besides being the first man to read the news on British television, journalist Conrad Voss Bark had a distinguished career as the BBC’s Parliamentary Correspondent. He wrote many novels and fishing books, including A History of Flyfishing and The Dry Fly. His wife Anne Voss Bark ran the Arundell Arms Hotel at Lifton.
BRIAN CLARKE
Author of two enduring books on trout fishing, The Pursuit of Stillwater Trout (1975) and The Trout and the Fly (1980, co-author John Goddard), Brian Clarke is the thinking angler’s writer. After many years in industry he left to devote his time to writing and is Angling Correspondent for The Times and the Sunday Times.
BRUCE SANDISON
Trout Lochs of Scotland (1983), the first of Bruce Sandison’s books, established his credentials as one of Scotland’s most well-informed anglers at the time. A prolific journalist on subjects as varied as hillwalking and local history, he became an ardent campaigner against the afforestation and peat extraction in the Flow Country, his home.
LAURENCE CATLOW
Until his recent retirement, Laurence Catlow was Head of Classics at Sedbergh School in Cumbria. He writes regularly about shooting and fishing, two of his three great passions, in various magazines including Trout & Salmon and Shooting Times. His first book, Confessions of a Shooting Fishing Man (1998), tackled the burning fieldsports issues of our time, including the hunting ban. He has since written Once a Flyfisher (2001), Private Thoughts from a Small Shoot (2003) and That Strange Alchemy (2008).
The angling press is full of photographs of anglers holding up, trophy-like, the fish they have caught. But in my view, the image most deeply engraved on every angler’s heart is of a fish which never actually made it to the net: the one that got away.
This strange phenomenon distinguishes the fisherman from his sporting counterparts. Golfers, for example, tend not to speak about crucial holes they have missed; footballers would rather forget the goals they have fluffed; and pheasant shooters, perhaps closer relations, are usually embarrassed and reticent about the easy birds they have pricked but not downed. These are the low points in the sporting day, the failures, the moments to be erased from the mind.
The angler, on the other hand, dwells on the mystery of the fish he might have caught. Sometimes, when a particularly memorable specimen gets away, he will be moved to tell the story of it. Non-anglers might regard such accounts as wild exaggerations (and perhaps there is a tendency for anglers to endow lost fish with leviathan proportions) but these episodes are nevertheless the ones that stick in the mind, that become the stuff of dreams, that are ultimately more vivid and real than memories of anything conquered.
Hence this book: a tribute not only to the cunning, courage and spirit of fish that escaped but also to the soul of the angler, that curious fellow who can be enriched by his loss.
I hope these pages are more than just a catalogue of piscatorial defeats. The true tales you will find here come from accomplished, sometimes famous, anglers and the message they convey is one with which every fisher will identify.
Merlin Unwin
t is curious how, when we were very much younger, so many events which would have lasting consequences for our lives could tumble together into the space of a few short weeks. I can now go for months, even years, without as much happening to me as it did in the average fortnight when I was in my late teens or early twenties. Take the summer of 1977, for example.
A boiling hot day in June found me cycling from Oxford to my brother’s house in Sussex. Breaking for lunch, or at least a pint or two of beer, at Henley, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. I had just finished my final examinations at the university and had, I thought, done reasonably well. If I got a First, I would go back in the autumn and take up the research place I had been offered. True, it was by no means in the bag: a viva voce exam in a week’s time would decide. But in the meantime, there was the trip to Sussex, with the prospect, a few days later, of a weekend with a St. Anne’s girl who had, over the preceding term, provided my main distraction from the intricacies of mediaeval literature. All in all, I mused over the second, rather less hurried pint, life was pretty good. And Sussex? Well, in Sussex I was going to go bass fishing.
It was not just the St. Anne’s girl that had diverted my attention during the summer term. There had been the letters from my brother. He had discovered bass fishing on the Sussex coast. With the zeal of the new convert he enthused over each successive capture, and after a short while I grew fed up with reading about big fish from marks I had never seen. Before long, thoughts of Cow Gap, the Dragon’s Teeth and the Mere caught me unawares as, suffering with hay-fever about as far from the sea as it was possible to get in England, I gazed out of the windows of the stuffy library, unable to do anything about them. But now, as I got back onto the bicycle, I knew that this was all about to be put right. The omens were good. It was Silver Jubilee year; that very afternoon a British player was in the process of winning the Ladies’ Singles title at Wimbledon; the sun was shining and the road to Sussex beckoned.
The next morning was calm and warm. I watched the sun climb over the horizon from the reefs at the foot of Beachy Head, now exposed by a low spring tide. I was being introduced to the back-breaking job of searching under boulders for crabs to use as bait. I had never seen so many crabs before in my life. But, unfortunately, you cannot expect to catch bass on any old crab. The only ones that are any use are those which are just about to slough the shells they have outgrown. You kill the creature by jabbing a sharp knife between its eyes, peel away the shell, and bind the rather pulpy end result to a hook with shirring elastic. What you then have bears no resemblance to a crab whatsoever. It dangles at the end of the line like Houdini, in one of those stunts where he was straitjacketed, tied up with rope, and suspended by his feet from a crane. But to the bass of the Sussex coast, the scent of the crab parcel you have just made is as irresistible as that of a freshly baked loaf to a hungry man.
After half an hour I had lacerated hands, wet feet (the waders I had borrowed from my brother leaked), and one bait. I cast it out very carefully, a gentle lob of about twenty yards into the gully which separated me from the three sharp jags of rock known as the Dragon’s Teeth. I was astonished to get a bite more or less immediately. In my surprise, however, I failed to loosen the clutch on the reel, the rod doubled and the line, quickly stretched taut, snapped as it rubbed against the rocks at the gully’s edge. I scrounged some more bait, and fished on. Another bite, and this time, although the rod again bent nearly double when I struck, I failed to hook the fish at all. The morning wore on, the tide came in, we went to the pub. Fishless, we plotted the evening’s campaign.
So it was that, a few hours later, we walked down the track to the Mere. A blazing hot afternoon was cooling into a balmy evening. The sea had a bit of movement, and the water was milky with suspended grains of chalk. Ideal conditions for bass, which would be swimming in with the tide, hunting by scent the small creatures that lived in the jumble of boulders which lined the beach. The less visibility there was in the water, the better the chances of the fish being drawn to the crab parcels. This time it was easier to find bait. I was beginning to learn what to look for. I could soon spot crabs buried in sand so that only the small circle of shell was exposed which they needed to breathe through (or whatever it is that they do). I could tell almost at a glance the ones which were about to shed their shells, as they had a paler, more mottled, complexion. Within a short time I had enough bait to last the entire tide.
The fishing at the Mere is rather easier than at the Dragon’s Teeth. You stand on a rocky platform on one side of a beach, above the boulders, and cast a short distance onto clean sand. A hooked fish can run a long way from you, without the danger of dragging your line around outcrops of rock. This enables you to fish with more sporting tackle than that necessary for the strong-arm tactics of the reefs. I borrowed a lighter rod, and a small multiplier filled with twelve pound line. I changed baits frequently, to keep the level of scent up.
The sun was setting when I felt the first, tentative double tap on the rod tip which shows that a bass is interested in your bait. I waited. The evening had grown cooler, and although I had been shivering, I stopped. It is curious that the body can tense up completely when it needs to, without any conscious prompting. There was a long pause, when not a muscle moved. Then the rod tip was dragged around, I struck, and the fish was on. It headed away from the rocks, picking up speed, and stripping line from the clutch as in all the best fishing stories. I had only caught small school bass before, and although they had fought gamely, they had not prepared me for the sheer power of one of their elders and betters. I kept my head, and the fish settled into a pattern of short runs, interspersed with periods of head shaking, rather like a pike. And, like a pike, it eventually came to the surface, some way out to sea, and although I could only just make it out, the sight of its massive tail thrashing the water made me realise that it was worth taking care over. As I began to gain line, I relaxed a little until I remembered that the net was some distance away, with my brother. To beach the fish would have involved a tricky walk backwards over quickly filling gullies and loose rocks. I yelled for assistance. My brother shouted back that there was no need to worry, I should just pull the fish out by sticking my fingers under its gill covers. I said I did not think that would be possible. It was too big.
The fish, docile now, was a few feet away. Only then did I really notice the rock between it and me. I yelled again, rather more frantically, and my brother finally picked up the net and came awards me. But, in shouting, I had let my concentration lapse, and somehow, fate being what it is, the line had become caught on the rock. The fish, beaten, lay on the surface like a Chinese kite, tethered to the rock and streaming out with the movement of the tide.
I gently pulled on the line, hoping to free it, but it would not budge. In desperation, I tugged harder. Then the inevitable happened. The hook hold, already loosened during the fight, gave way under the weight of the fish in the tide. The hook sprang clear, the fish hung in the water, tantalisingly close but just out of reach. Then, realising it was free, it slowly, agonisingly, sank from sight. I stared after it. There was no point in feeling upset, none in feeling angry. I just felt empty. A short, sharp expletive, and I packed up my gear, to face the long trudge back to the car.
A week later, I faced the examiners for my viva. After initial courtesies, they began to question me on my Old English literature paper. ‘Tell me, Mr Haywood, what was Beowulf clutching when he emerged from the mere?’ The mere? The Mere? My mind tried to focus on the blood-stained, turbid water in a dark, dismal wood which was home for the monster Grendel and his mother. But it was a hot day, and very difficult to concentrate. Mention of the Mere took me back to quite a different monster, in turbid water that was chalk-stained, under a clear, balmy sky. I got a Second.