Psychology of love (translated) E-Book

Paul C. Jagot

• Herausgeber: anna ruggieri
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

- This edition is unique;
- The translation is completely original and was carried out for the Ale. Mar. SAS;
- All rights reserved.

What this book is about. - The mechanism of organic functions, which constitute the physical expression of love, belongs to physiology. The subject of this book is the study of the psycho-emotional states inherent in all forms and degrees of love; it is the analysis of the different processes by which one being falls in love with another; it is also the analysis, alongside the knowledge of the laws determining love, of the conditions of its duration and dissolution. The most brilliant definition of love can only be applied to a certain number of cases. Every human being, according to the intensity of his sexual instincts, the development of his sensibility and the degree of his intellectual culture, conceives love in a special way, which differs, at least in some degree, from every other conception. And since in the course of existence, tendencies, aspirations, faculties change, the same individual does not love twice in the same way. Speak of love to a person who has the most perfect analogy with your character; you will find that there is in some points a difference of opinion. If we consider Stendhal's physical love, that is to say, the purely animal attraction of sex, and love-abnegation, which he did not speak of, and which I will define in the manner of this author: "To love someone passionately is to annul oneself before his fate, when one knows that he will have a happier existence by marrying another", we will have the two extremes of the progression of love. Many people deny the existence of certain modes of love, especially of love-abnegation: "To love, they say, is above all else; it is the desire to possess the one one whom one loves, to have him or her in one's presence, to live the same life; therefore your definition does not apply to real love; never will a person in love admit to renouncing the beloved; he or she who renounces does not love". Between normal individuals of different sexes there is an attractive force, the determinism of which is revealed by physiology. This instinctive attraction of one gender to another can be specified and intensified in such and such a one - and reciprocally - by reason of certain laws of physical selection of which we are, unbeknownst to ourselves, tributaries. I define, therefore, by the expression physical love, on the one hand, the attraction by virtue of which the two sexes are incited to mate and, on the other, the phenomenon of physiological preference, likely to incline unconsciously one being towards another rather than towards a third - equally young and beautiful. Without dwelling on the identity of the causes of this physiological preference with those of sentimental preference, let us consider the latter as a distinct element of love.

Leseprobe

Index

CHAPTER I - THE SENSES, THE HEART, THE IDEA

CHAPTER II - MODE OF THE SEXUAL INSTINCT

CHAPTER III - AMOROUS FEELINGS

CHAPTER IV - THE IDEA

CHAPTER V - PASSION AND JEALOUSY

CHAPTER VI - CONNECTION OF THE SENSES, HEART AND INTELLECT

CHAPTER VII - THE BIRTH OF LOVE

CHAPTER VIII - DURATION OF LOVE

CHAPTER IX - MAN AND LOVE

CHAPTER X - TYPES OF WOMEN

CHAPTER XI - VENAL LOVE

CHAPTER XII - GENERAL CONSIDERATIONS

CHAPTER XIII - ELEMENTS OF PERSONAL INFLUENCE

CHAPTER XIV - THE TELLTALE SIGNS OF CHARACTER

CHAPTER XV - THE ART OF SEDUCTION

Psychology of love

The senses, the heart, the idea

PAUL C. JAGOT

Translation and 2021 edition by Planet Editions

All rights reserved

CHAPTER I - THE SENSES, THE HEART, THE IDEA

- What this book is about. - The mechanism of organic functions, which constitute the physical expression of love, belongs to physiology. It is not our task to consider it.

The subject of this book is the study of the psycho-emotional states inherent in all forms and degrees of love; it is the analysis of the different processes by which one being falls in love with another; it is also the analysis, alongside the knowledge of the laws determining love, of the conditions of its duration and dissolution.

- Definitions. - The definitions formulated by our predecessors can be divided into three categories:

One seems to consider exclusively the pleasure inherent in sexual intimacy. The most typical in this sense is that of A. de la Salle: "Love is egoism in two".

Others regard love as an attraction that is both physical and moral. Chamfort's, for example: "Love is the exchange of two sympathies and the contact of two epidermis".

Finally, some thinkers define love as always implying an elevated feeling: Thus Theophilus Gauthier writes: "To give oneself entirely, to keep nothing for oneself, to renounce possession and one's own free will, to place one's will in that of another, to see only with the eyes of the other, to hear only through his ears, to be but one in two bodies, to fuse and confuse one's souls so as not to be able to know whether it is you or the other, to absorb and radiate continually, to be sometimes the moon and sometimes the sun, to see the whole world and all creation in one being, to shift the centre of life, to be ready at every hour for the greatest sacrifices and the most absolute self-denial, to suffer on the breast of your loved one as if it were your own: or prodigy: to become two by giving oneself. That is love!

There is no author capable of encompassing in a short formula all that the word 'to love' can mean. This verb takes on a personal meaning for each of those who conjugate it. The images it evokes, the impressions it evokes are innumerable.

The most ingenious definition of love can only apply to a certain number of cases.

- Love is never identical with itself. Every human being, according to the intensity of his sexual instincts, the development of his sensibility and the degree of his intellectual culture, conceives love in a special way, which differs, at least in some degree, from every other conception.

And since in the course of existence, tendencies, aspirations, faculties change, the same individual does not love twice in the same way.

Talk about love with a person who has the most perfect analogy with your character: you will find that there is some difference of opinion.

If we consider Stendhal's physical love, i.e. the purely animal attraction of sex, and love-abnegation, of which he did not speak, and which I will define in the manner of this author: "To love someone passionately is to annul oneself before his fate, when one knows that he will have a happier existence by marrying another", we will have the two extremes of the progression of love. These extremes include an infinity of other terms.

Many people deny the existence of certain modes of love, especially love-abnegation: 'To love, they say, is above all else; it is the desire to possess the one one you love, to have him or her in your presence, to live the same life; therefore your definition does not apply to real love; never will a person in love admit to renouncing the beloved; he or she who renounces does not love'.

Now, if I admit love-abnegation, it is from experience: I have observed different cases of it. I have, of course, tried, before concluding, to know whether the sacrifice allowed masks a less noble motive.

In one of my observations, voluntary renunciation cost the life of its hero, a man in the full vigour of age, well endowed in every respect. A few months after the marriage of the one he loved, he was found dead a few steps from the house of his love. His hand was creased on the photograph of the young woman. He had died as a result of a ruptured aneurysm.

In psychology, it is certainly good to become acquainted with the theories, but one must only conclude according to the facts.

When I speak of the above case and someone retorts: 'Love is this and not that', I invite my interlocutor to caution: the meaning of the term love cannot be limited. The only admissible generalisation is the connection of sexual attraction with such and such a sentimental gradation.

The formula for any kind of love is an equation comprising several factors, each of varying strength.

I shall therefore begin my exposition of my conception of love psychology by sketching a brief outline of these factors, these elements of love.

- The three main elements of love. - Between normal individuals of different sexes there exists an attractive force, the determinism of which is revealed by physiology. This instinctive attraction of one sex towards the other may be specified and intensified in such and such a one towards such and such a one towards the other, by reason of certain laws of physical selection of which we are, unknowingly, tributaries. If we are dealing with primitive beings, in whom animality constantly dominates, whose feelings are rudimentary and intellectuality embryonic, the formation of couples is exclusively determined by the laws of instinct.

I define, therefore, by the expression physical love, on the one hand, the attraction by virtue of which the two sexes are incited to copulate, and, on the other, the phenomenon of physiological preference, which is liable to incline one being unconsciously towards another rather than towards a third - equally young and beautiful. Without dwelling on the identity of the causes of this physiological preference with those of sentimental preference, let us consider the latter as a distinct element of love. Whether it is a question, as the adherents of monist dogma claim, of two versions, one elementary, the other complex, of the same phenomenon, matters little, since one observes - outside of all sexuality, even virtual sexuality - profound sympathies and sublime devotions. There are individualities whose feelings have a far more powerful vehemence than the instincts themselves. Affection - 'instinct of the heart', says Peladan, - can perfectly direct the senses, just as voluptuousness often develops the sensitivity of the heart and that of the spirit.

The tyranny of sexual functions is more imperious and more precise in men than in women. However, a man can love a woman sentimentally - even without possessing her - with such intensity that he feels no desire for another. The sentimental element, therefore, is likely to predominate over the physical element.

A third element presents itself to the observer: it is the idea, the cerebral synchronism. The similarity of the degree of culture, the identity of points of view, principles, artistic or scientific receptivity, intellectual temperament, in a word, creates a powerful affinity, which plays a decisive part in the factors of love. How many adventures have begun with an exchange of ideas!

Like the sentimental element, cerebral synchronism can predominate in certain loves. For many beings, this synchronism is the first condition for a powerful movement of the heart and for a voluptuous exchange.

"Love," says Decrespe, "if it is love, consists of simple animal need". This sentence is too absolute. Let us admit that the virtuality of the desire to possess exists from the beginning; that this desire precedes, even, in the subconscious state, the sentimental inclination, let it be so; at a given moment this desire will perhaps manifest itself imperiously, but it will not necessarily be so at the beginning. We will say, indeed, that love may exist for months, for years, without the tendency to sexual solution being very intense: the sentimental element and the cerebral element are sufficient for a long time by themselves in certain individualities. In such cases, sexuality, though latent, must nevertheless be regarded as the fundamental element.

CHAPTER II - MODE OF THE SEXUAL INSTINCT

- 1. Sexual attraction. - From the lowest degree of the ontological scale to the most refined man, the solicitation of the sexual function is felt. The healthy, normal individual feels from puberty a force of attraction for the opposite sex, and exerts on this sex a similar attraction. We must not believe in the absolute despotism of the sexual instinct. The determinism of sexual life does not depend solely on the organism, even in ardent natures; all other tendencies, inclinations, faculties, etc., play a part in it. The degree of power of the instinct of which we are speaking will be moderated or exalted by the other elements of the character, as well as by circumstances, diet, etc., and by the nature of the body.

Acquisitiveness, for instance, will vampire the genetic ardour, if it is so powerful as to direct all physical and psychic energies, to keep the spirit occupied from dawn to night - and even in dreams - in matters of business, of gain, of speculation, of hoarding, of grandiose projects, of gigantic fortunes. Cerebral activity is, in fact, antagonistic to sexual activity.

What we have said about acquisitiveness can therefore be said of all other forms of ambition.

Art grabs sensitivity and intellectuality even better. But it is perhaps Science, in parallel with the higher ethical tendencies, which most certainly exempt the human being from the tribute to Venus.

Apart from exceptional cases, worries, deprivation, sorrows, pessimistic philosophy or even individualism and a spirit of independence are enough to dull and even paralyse the senses.

If it is true that our sexuality unconsciously undergoes the reaction of our other characteristics, it must be possible to govern it, both to moderate it and to intensify it. I am of the opinion, leaving aside all moral questions, that everyone has an interest in gaining mastery, control of the sexual function.

I know individuals who wish they could moderate their over-demanding senses. They themselves confess that the pleasure they feel decreases in proportion to their passivity to amorous solicitations. I know of others who deplore a state of atony, which has arisen little by little without somatic causes. They can regulate their state, and would not have to make an effort to do so now, if they had learned to control themselves.

Determinism is as elastic as free will is unabsolute, and knowing this allows us to oppose one tendency to another and influence each of our activities.

Man is not master of the laws of nature. He takes them into account and adapts them to his own needs, combining their effects. Now, what he achieves outside himself, he can achieve for his own organism to a certain extent, of course.

How then to govern one's senses?

It is first necessary to assess, by comparison, his state and activity. Then, take into account the excitatory or analgesic effect of certain foods, regulate the nervous force and the emotionality by the use, appropriate to your case, of hydrotherapy. All these procedures diminish the resistance of the organism to your will. Having obtained the greatest possible passivity of the physical elements of the state to be combated, care is taken to oppose to this state a psychic action. Thus, bearing in mind that the images we reflect, the impressions we receive, and the concepts we hold have a tendency to give rise to the corresponding desires, one will avoid or seek out, as the case may be, the spectacles, impressions, and ideations relating to physical love.

Also, it will be good to treat sexual excesses, such as morphinomania or smoking: decreasing the dose progressively. It is always possible, in the period immediately following a venereal session, to create for yourself a nagging occupation, or even a peremptory impediment to the expected time of the next solicitation. If, during a quarter of an hour a day, you represent to yourself, in various forms, the idea: moderation, control, self-mastery, this idea will encrust itself and act without your knowledge even after this exercise.

When it comes to the reverse, the idea of virility, contemplated calmly, operates a stimulating reaction on the function.

There is no shortage of treatises on 'self-control'. We refer readers to them for further developments.

Self-possession and extreme lust are both sexual magnets. Harmony of lines, plastic perfection, beauty in a word, are commonly regarded as very attractive in themselves. This is a mistake. Something else is necessary. An artist will call this 'life', that is, an expressive exteriority. In my opinion, it is not that beauty which is lacking in certain types of men and women, very pleasing in appearance and very distinguished, but which leave you cold. They lack a kind of 'magnetism', which could well be a sign of the

be that of Paracelsus. I believe that voluntarily chaste people are attractive by radiation and the very lustful by absorption. It is now proven that the human being is a generator and an irradiator of psycho-physical energies that are still ill-defined.

Now, I have seen horribly ugly individuals who were endowed with a powerful fluidic radiation. I have observed others, wonderfully made and magnetically null. There is in this an order of ideas which must be taken into account, not omitting the personal element: the possible harmony between the vibrations emitted by Mr. X... and those emanating from Mrs. Y...; this phenomenon would explain certain instantaneous fascinations, certain irresistible transports, to which the moral does not adhere - on the contrary.

Two lovers feel a delightful impression from sitting next to each other. Passive, collected, they exchange a few insignificant words. Entire hours pass; in the end it is painful for them to escape this strange torpor. Isn't the analogy with the ecstatic sleep caused by magnetisation striking?

A kind of intuition precedes us then, as soon as we are in the presence of a being over whom our power of sexual attraction is powerfully exercised. We feel positively that harmony is established and that agreement is possible.