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- Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
- Kategorie: Lebensstil
- Serie: Joke Books
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021
I woke up this morning and forgot which direction the sun rises from... then it dawned on me. I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it will come back to me. Aging gets old after a while. Pun intended. Gone are the days when you can remember why you went into the kitchen, what medications you are taking for what, and whether you hurt your neck doing something amazing or you just slept funny (and it's not really funny because, quite honestly, you don't know if your neck will ever work properly again). When you need to find humor in the not-somarvellous life changes, pick up Best Old Folks Jokes Ever and chuckle along with everyone else who is growing older. That's literally everyone. A little laughter can go a long way in accepting the inevitable with gratitude and grace.
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BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC.
Savage, Minnesota, USA
Broadstreetpublishing.com
Best Old Folks Jokes Ever
© 2021 by BroadStreet Publishing®
978-1-4245-6290-9
978-1-4245-6291-6 (ebook)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Design by Chris Garborg | garborgdesign.com
Compiled and edited by Michelle Winger | literallyprecise.com
Printed in the United States of America.
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CONTENTS
Signs of the Times
Technology
Body Aches
Retirement
Generation Gap
Senior Puns
The Benefits
Remember When…?
You Know You’re Old When…
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
Two old guys, George and Pete, went to the movies.
A few minutes after it started, George heard Pete rustling around, searching on the floor under his seat.
“What are you doing?” asked George.
Pete, a little grumpy by this time, replied, “I had a caramel in my mouth, and it dropped out. I can’t find it.”
George said, “Forget it! It will be too dirty by now.”
“I have to find it,” said Pete. “My teeth are in it!”
Seeing her friend Patty wearing a new locket, Edith asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Patty, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Henry’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.”
I knew my husband’s hearing had deteriorated after our friend who was new to the city asked where he could meet some singles.
“Well,” said my husband, “I see them in the McDonalds parking lot diving for fries.”
“Dear,” I intervened, “he said singles… not seagulls.”
An elderly man visited the doctor for a checkup.
“Mr. Smith, you’re in great shape,” said the doctor. “How do you do it?”
“Well,” said Mr. Smith, “I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and the good Lord looks out for me. For weeks now, every time I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns the light on for me.”
Concerned, the doctor finds Mrs. Smith in the waiting room and tells her what her husband said.
“I don’t think that’s anything to worry about,” she said. “And on the bright side, it does explain who’s been peeing in the fridge.”
An older gentleman was invited to his friends’ home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms like honey, my love, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost seventy years, and clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those endearing names.”
The old man hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth,” he said. “I forgot her name about ten years ago.”
I decided one day to reframe a favorite photograph of my mother and father from when they were dating.
After removing the picture from the frame, I turned it over, hoping to find a date. I didn’t.
Instead, my mother had written “128 lbs.”
The biggest loser at the weight-loss club was an elderly woman.
“How did you do it?” the others asked.
“Easy,” she said. “Every night I take my teeth out at six o’clock.”
