YOU ARE THE GREATEST - In Conversation With Yourself (second edition) E-Book

Edward Dzerinyuy Bello

• Herausgeber: BoD - Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Geisteswissenschaft
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 95

Beschreibung

The second edition of YOU ARE THE GREATEST - In Conversation With Yourself by Edward Dzerinyuy Bello is a practical, daily guide to systemic psychological coaching that blends theory with actionable tools for real-world application. Whether you are a student, executive, CEO, entrepreneur, teacher, lecturer, academic or coach, this book simplifies the complex of systemic coaching concepts, empowering readers to approach growth as both coach and coachee. This edition emphasizes clarity, incorporating relatable examples and quotes that effectively bridge theory and practice. Bello's writing strikes a balance between depth and accessibility, making it suitable for beginners and seasoned professionals alike. This second edition shines in its ability to deliver clear, actionable insights that readers can immediatly implement in their personal and professional lives. It is more than just a book, it is a practical guide for anyone on a journey of transformative growth.

Leseprobe

Dedicated to,

My daughter Rosalie Fomo-Nyuy Bello,

My role model parents, Edward Bello Senior Agnes Wiysenyuy Bello

My Shiliv

IFM Institut für Managementberatung GmbH Germany

City of Potsdam Germany

Table of Contents:

Foreword

Preface

What's New in the Second Edition

Comments

Introduction

Chapter One:

What is Systemic Coaching?

Chapter Two:

The Foundations of Systemic Coaching

Chapter Three:

The Phases of Systemic Coaching

Chapter Four:

The Clarification Phase

Chapter Five:

The Work Phase

Chapter Six:

The Importance of Rapport in Coaching

Chapter Seven:

Finding and Using a Representation System

Chapter Eight:

Coaching Methoods: The Role Compass

Acknowledgments:

About the Author:

FOREWORD

I had just returned from swimming at Blu Swimming Hall in Potsdam, where for the first time in my life, I completed four rounds of 50 meters. It was a personal victory one that reminded me of the power of persistence and inner dialogue. As I reflected on this achievement, I realized that this book is like that swim: a testament to effort, growth, and the responsibility we take for our own development.

I take full responsibility and accountability for everything in this book, and my goal is simple: to inspire you through the lens of my personal experiences as a systemic psychological coach. Since earning my diploma in systemic coaching from the IFM Institut für Managementberatung in 2020, I've grown in understanding how deeply interconnected our lives are. As I sit down to write this foreword for the second edition of YOU ARE THE GREATEST – In Conversation With Yourself, I am filled with gratitude and purpose. This book has evolved into more than just an exploration of coaching techniques—it has become a reflection of life's interconnectedness, and an invitation for you, the reader, to embark on your own journey of self-discovery.

When I first began writing this book, my goal was to create something that would resonate with people from all walks of life—students, professionals, coaches, and anyone eager to grow both personally and professionally. During my time at IFM Institut für Managementberatung in Berlin, I not only learned structured coaching methods but also gained a profound realization: every part of our lives—personal, professional, emotional—intersects in powerful ways.

Systemic Coaching: A Holistic Approach

Drawing inspiration from Gregory Bateson’s systems theory, I came to understand how every facet of our lives is connected. Systemic coaching is much like a web, touching everything—from our ambitions to our beliefs and relationships. This second edition builds on that understanding, blending theory with practical tools to guide you on your own journey of growth.

One particular coaching session truly solidified my appreciation for systemic thinking. A client came to me seeking career guidance, but as we delved deeper, we uncovered that their personal beliefs about self-worth were at the heart of their professional struggles. This experience reinforced the importance of seeing the whole picture— the entire system that influences our behaviors, decisions, and ultimately, our growth.

A Commitment to Learning and Growth

This second edition reflects my ongoing journey as both a coach and a coachee. The content has been refined with insights from feedback, personal experiences, and new research, ensuring that what I present is not only practical but deeply meaningful. My hope is that this book not only serves as a guide for your own personal development but also contributes to the broader conversation about systemic coaching.

Whether you're a corporate executive, a student, or a professional coach, systemic coaching provides a roadmap for success. By integrating the SMART Criteria and adopting a holistic, systemic approach, you'll find new ways to build healthier relationships, make clearer decisions, and navigate life's challenges with resilience.

As you read this book, I encourage you to do more than just absorb the words— reflect deeply, apply the exercises, and most importantly, engage in that critical conversation with yourself. The greatest coach you will ever have is already within you.

With warm regards,

Edward Dzerinyuy Bello

Potsdam, Germany

September 2024

PREFACE

The human being can be understood from different angles and defined in various ways yet remains a mystery both to himself and to others. The French existentialist, Gabriel Marcel, offers two significant concepts of "mystery." The first is a mystery that we do not fully understand but can live with regardless—like trying to balance a difficult equation in physics or chemistry. Whether we solve it or not, life continues.

The second kind of mystery is deeper: it is something in which we are inextricably involved, such as understanding ourselves, accepting death, or coping with the suffering of a loved one. In this sense, the human being is a profound mystery— “condemned” to the lifelong task of encountering his own being. This journey inward is neither simple nor exciting, as it brings us face to face with both the good and bad, the beautiful and the ugly within ourselves.

In today’s world, where many prefer the artificial and superficial, few take the time to pause and ask themselves fundamental, soul-searching questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? These seemingly simple questions hold the key to resolving many of the struggles we face but require the courage to look within.

Many people are dissatisfied with who they are, aspiring to be someone else, which is impossible. This desire often breeds jealousy and low self-esteem. However, we must not let others define us. Instead, we must define ourselves as we truly are, accepting our current reality while striving toward self-actualization—the ideal self we all aspire to. This is the lifelong homework for every individual: the pursuit of becoming who we are meant to be.

Dzerinyuy Bello is phenomenal in his exploration of human reality and his dedication to coaching others toward self-acceptance. His name, Dzerinyuy, which means "Ask God" in Lamnso—the language of the Nso tribe in the North West region of Cameroon—speaks deeply to the essence of this book. It reminds us that to truly understand the meaning of life and our place in it, we must seek guidance from a higher power. We are not the architects of our existence; therefore, to comprehend the human condition fully, we must ask God. This act of seeking divine wisdom aligns with the profound recognition that life is ultimately shaped by forces beyond our own control.

Bello’s second name, "Bello," offers another layer of insight, suggesting that we are mere visitors here on Earth, "resting" temporarily before continuing our greater, spiritual journey. This highlights the transcendent nature embedded within us all. While our physical existence is temporary and finite, the human soul looks beyond, always searching for meaning and fulfillment. It is this "looking beyond" that has inspired many existential philosophers to describe the human being as a project— constantly unfolding, evolving daily.

In this book, Dzerinyuy Bello explores these deep questions of self-understanding, self-acceptance, and the journey toward self-actualization. His thoughtful approach encourages readers to embrace the mystery of their own existence while working toward becoming their best selves. Through his coaching, he guides others to confront their inner realities with honesty and grace, providing tools for navigating the challenges of life with resilience and faith.

I hope that those who read this book will find inspiration and insight within its pages. I strongly recommend it not only to students of Anthropology, Psychology, and Medicine—fields that deal directly with the holistic human person—but also to anyone on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Dzerinyuy Bello’s work invites each of us to reflect deeply on the human condition, to seek understanding, and to find meaning in our own lives.

Tatah Mbuy

Catholic Priest

Catholic University of Cameroon (CA-TUC), Bamenda, Cameroon

THE SECOND EDITION

Lessons Learned and Challenges Encountered in the Second Edition of.

YOU ARE THE GREATEST – In Conversation With Yourself

Lessons Learned after the First Edition:

Working on the second edition of YOU ARE THE GREATEST – In Conversation With Yourself has provided valuable insights into the process of creating a comprehensive and engaging guide on systemic coaching that can enhance our daily lives. Key lessons learned include:

The Power of Clarity and Simplicity

A significant lesson was the importance of clarity and simplicity in communication. Given the book's aim to be accessible to a broad range of readers, including students, graduates, lecturers, and corporate executives, it was crucial to simplify systemic coaching concepts without losing their essence. This approach not only broadens the book's appeal but also ensures that core messages are effectively conveyed. Reflecting on the first edition, there was an opportunity to refine these principles in this second edition.

The Importance of Structure and Organization

Another key lesson was the value of a well-structured and organized presentation in explaining systemic coaching. While the first edition laid a solid foundation, the second edition enhances and refines this structure. Each chapter builds logically on the previous one, creating a cohesive narrative that guides the reader through various aspects of systemic coaching and personal development. This structure ensures a clear and consistent flow of ideas, making it easier for readers to follow and absorb the content.

Engaging the Reader Through Relatable Examples and Quotes

Incorporating relatable examples and relevant quotes was essential in making the content engaging. The second edition includes necessary quotes and personal stories, using familiar scenarios and well-known sayings to bridge the gap between abstract concepts and practical applications. This strategy clarifies the material and makes it memorable and impactful, particularly for those in academic settings.

Balancing Intellectual Depth with Accessibility

Finding the right balance between being intellectually stimulating and easy to read was important during the writing of this second edition. The goal was to ensure that the book was detailed and challenging enough for experts, yet simple and clear for younger readers and beginners. This balance makes the book both interesting and useful for a diverse readership.

The Importance of Feedback and Continuous Improvement

The collaborative process of creating this book highlighted the importance of feedback. Being open to suggestions and willing to make changes significantly improved the quality of the book. This revision process ensured that the content is clear, accurate, and engaging. The feedback received played a crucial role in enhancing this second edition, underscoring the value of continuous improvement.

The Significance of Authenticity and Empathy

Authenticity and empathy emerged as fundamental principles throughout the chapters, reinforcing their importance in effective systemic coaching. While the first edition addressed these themes, the second edition expands on them, emphasizing genuine connection and understanding. This focus underscores the book's message and serves as a guiding principle for effective communication, highlighting the importance of creating a supportive environment where individuals feel valued and understood.

Challenges Encountered in Working on This Second Edition:

While working on the second edition was rewarding, it also presented several challenges. Embracing feedback with a growth mindset was essential, recognizing that these challenges were integral to the book's development. For example, when faced with negative feedback, it was important to calmly accept it, understanding that everyone is entitled to their opinion. The choice was made to respond thoughtfully, whether the feedback was positive or critical.

Balancing Simplicity with Depth

One of the primary challenges was balancing the need for simplicity with the depth required to explore complex concepts. Careful consideration of language